Creating Inner Peace Through Non Judgment

Free yourself from self-judgment and experience great relief, more energy, better relationships and less stress. This talk explains how the cycle of judgment is created, how detrimental it is to our inner peace and the peace of our world and how to move away from this habit we all have. When we have awareness about where judgment comes from and how it's created, we can stop the cycle.

I believe living free from self-judgment is key to creating inner peace and bringing peace to the world.

Transcript

So I wanted to share a little bit about my relationship story.

I've learned so much over the years and I learned something so important recently that I just wish every person could know because it would alleviate so much suffering in the world,

Both in romantic relationships and friendships and work relationships and just all kinds of relationships.

Anywhere that people are communicating,

Anywhere that people are in relationship,

No matter what it is,

If everybody knew this,

The world would be a completely different place.

So what I'm talking about is the fact that judgment of another person is just judgment of ourselves.

Any time we're judging someone else,

It is really a judgment of self.

And the other part of this is that there is no reason to judge ourselves.

We can completely free ourselves of this really detrimental habit.

And sometimes we don't even realize the extent to which we judge ourselves.

So I encourage you to just start noticing,

Just start noticing the thoughts that go on in your head about yourself,

The thoughts that go on in your head about other people,

And I want you to really connect the two and understand,

And understand this concept that when you judge someone else,

It is your own judgment of self in disguise.

That's what we do as humans.

It's what we all do.

And it's what we all can change.

And I think the reason that we do this,

The reason that we,

We take these things about ourselves that we don't accept,

That we've been taught to not accept about ourselves or to think we have to change about ourselves,

Things that we think are not okay,

Or certain ways that we think we have to live,

And we take those things that we don't accept about ourselves and we just project them onto other people.

And we judge them for those things instead of understanding that the judgment is all connected and the judgment isn't even necessary.

So I understand it as the first thing that happens is we learn these things that we think are not okay about ourselves.

We're so full of reasons to dislike ourselves,

Reasons to not accept ourselves,

Reasons to judge ourselves.

We're so programmed with all these things.

We're so full of them,

But we don't want to hold all of that because it sucks,

Because it's uncomfortable,

Because it's an awful place to be.

So what we'll do is because it's so uncomfortable to be judging ourselves all the time,

We turn it outward and we put it onto other people.

So we've been taught to hate ourselves.

And so instead of doing that,

Because that really sucks,

Is we turn it outward onto other people and we start judging all of the people around us for reasons that we've been programmed to dislike or reject ourselves.

So then we just reject other people.

So this is what is happening to us.

The bottom line though,

Is that we don't have to judge ourselves anymore.

We never did,

And we definitely don't have to keep doing it.

It is something that was taught to us,

But we can unlearn it.

We can undo it.

We can let go of it.

And I know from experience that it feels really uncomfortable to do,

Because it feels very normal to judge other people,

And it feels very normal to talk badly about ourselves to ourselves or to put ourselves down.

It just has become this really normalized thing in our society.

But it is so not necessary.

We have built up all these ideas in our minds about what we're supposed to be,

What we're supposed to do,

What our lives are supposed to be like,

What we should say,

What we shouldn't say,

How we should act,

How we shouldn't act.

There's just so much,

So much expectation,

So much pressure built up in our minds,

In our bodies,

And none of it is accurate.

You get to decide.

We don't have to judge ourselves for anything,

Nothing,

Zero,

Zilch,

Literally nothing.

There's nothing about ourselves that we need to judge or say that has to be different or that we have to fix or correct,

Or that we're not good enough or that we're not worthy or that we're not lovable,

None of it,

Or that we weigh too much or that we don't weigh enough or that we don't have good enough clothes or we don't have a good enough car,

We don't have a good enough house,

We don't eat well enough,

We don't have a good enough job,

All of it,

Throw it away,

Every single little thing,

That you're not a good enough parent,

You're not a good enough spouse,

You're not a good enough boyfriend or girlfriend,

You're not a good enough worker,

Throw it away,

All of it.

It can just stop.

It can just stop.

I mean,

There's just so much that goes on in the mind on a regular basis,

And if you turn it off for a minute,

It'll just be peaceful up there,

And then you can keep turning it off.

It takes some practice.

Really what it kind of comes down to is just shutting off that part of the mind,

That part of the mind that just wants to run through things and tries to figure things out but never comes to a conclusion or a solution.

The mind isn't capable of doing that.

The mind creates so much drama and chaos up there,

And it takes up so much energy,

And none of it is even true,

None of it's even real,

It is a total waste of energy.

And when you turn it off,

When you just start living,

When you just start being,

When you don't listen to the mind and you don't allow it to play these games and run these games with you,

You become peaceful.

You realize there's nothing to fix,

There's nothing to change,

All is well,

All is well.

All is well.

That's it.

All is well.

And I'm not saying that we don't have goals or that we don't grow ourselves.

100% we do,

But it comes from a place of inspiration,

It comes from a place of self-love,

It comes from a place of creativity,

Joy.

It does not come from demeaning ourselves or belittling ourselves or not thinking we're good enough or comparing ourselves to other people or being mean to ourselves or putting ourselves down.

We can exist in the world without doing those things.

We can be motivated to do things based on love and joy and inspiration.

And judgment doesn't need to be a part of it.

So when we realize that we can free ourselves from the judgment we feel inside of us,

From the way that we judge ourselves,

When we realize we can free ourselves of that,

Then we see that there's no reason to judge anyone else.

Because that's all we've been doing this whole time,

Is comparing and judging,

Comparing and judging,

Comparing and judging.

And when you realize that you don't have to live like that,

Then there's nothing left to judge.

You're not judging yourself,

You're not judging anyone else,

You can just live and let live.

And that's it.

Because there was nothing that anybody had to do or had to be or had to prove or had to show or had to say.

It just,

That's not what this is.

We can live in peace,

We can live in peace within ourselves.

And when we're at peace within ourselves,

We can create peace outside of us.

So the judgment needs to stop.

It's so unnecessary.

There's no point to it.

We can free ourselves of that.

And I will tell you,

It's hard.

Because I think at this point,

A lot of us are addicted to it.

It feels normal.

And it feels,

From my own experience,

It felt really hard to let go of that.

Even though I could see what was happening,

There was still a part of me that felt like judgment was keeping me safe,

Like judgment would help me organize the world in some way.

But that's not what keeps me safe.

My intuition keeps me safe.

Past experiences,

Things that I've learned,

Help keep me safe.

My wisdom.

Not judgment.

Not judging.

So yeah,

It's a journey.

For sure.

It feels very odd to stop judging myself,

But it also feels like complete freedom.

And when I can accept that and live in that place of non-judgment and freedom,

It feels amazing.

I feel so peaceful.

So that's what I've been working on.

Just wanted to share.

Thank you for listening.

Namaste,

My friend.

Reviews

Hi Kate
Hope you are well.
I completely agree with you about living without judgement, I believe in live and let live as long as it doesn’t effect my life and those around me. The one thing I never gave thought too was that by judging others, I was really judging myself and projecting onto them. That’s my biggest take away from today’s talk and will always keep that in my mind
Thank you!!