Why is there such an obsession with relationships?
Why are most people really focused on being part of a couple?
If we have the love inside of us,
If we have everything we need to be whole,
Full,
Provided for,
Happy,
Content,
And successful within ourselves,
Then why aren't we able to let go of needing or wanting to have a partner?
Yes,
There are health benefits and other benefits to being part of a couple,
But that could be said for being single as well.
Why are we so obsessed with romantic relationships?
When did our culture decide that a family needed to start with two people?
I realize procreation is part of the conversation here,
But procreation didn't start happening because a man and a woman decided to be partners.
It was happening much before that.
It started with groups of people.
It seems the mentality back then was that romantic love didn't exist.
People attached to one another and started families as a means of survival and safety.
Much of the romantic love culture we have today was developed by the media and marketing companies,
And we just go along with it.
But I have to wonder if we are better off this way.
I'm single,
And I've spent many years focusing on that fact.
It can start to feel like a never-ending train of thought.
I think about relationships constantly,
And the idea really throws me for a loop sometimes,
Because I know how much work a healthy relationship requires.
I know how much pain they can cause.
I know how difficult it is to commit to yourself while committing to another,
How much work it is to choose you and someone else at the same time.
And sometimes I wonder if this is even possible.
So why do we want it?
Why do we want relationships so bad?
One of the reasons I've been thinking about lately is that they are really our best chance at growth.
If we never step into those experiences,
Then we never level up,
And maybe we are just looking at partnerships all wrong.
Maybe the focus should be more like,
Hey,
We're going to do this thing together,
Take this journey,
And when it ends,
It ends.
We both learned,
And we grew,
And if it needs to be over,
Then it's over.
Rather than feeling like one person will be the end-all be-all of partners,
And when you're with someone,
You're going to commit to them forever,
Maybe a more realistic view is to see the relationship as a ride with an unknown expiration date.
And when the ride stops and the operator tells you to get off,
Then you get off the ride,
And you're still intact.
And it doesn't come to you as this huge surprise.
It just,
It won't feel as catastrophic this way.
And we can also say that relationships don't really end,
They just change.
A good friend of mine always quotes that line,
And I really like that vantage point.
I think that's a really healthy perspective as well,
That love is never really lost.
Love just moves,
And it shifts.
I know for me,
I just really want to drop this obsession.
I want to come to a healthy place of being really content on my own,
And also open to having a partner.
I don't want to think about not having a partner all the time.
I don't want to build my life around the idea that I'm missing something by being single.
I want to build my life around me.
I want to build my life around what I want,
And what I need to be happy.
And if I decide to be a partner to someone,
That life I built for myself doesn't go away.
There has to be some way to integrate two lives.
I guess I won't know until I get there.
But I choose to believe that there is.
I choose to believe that two people can come together and have a really beautiful,
Joyous relationship built on love,
Respect,
Authenticity,
Trust,
Honesty,
Freedom,
And growth.
At least for today,
That's what I choose.
What do you choose?
