I know.
I know that you don't want to be here.
That you're afraid,
Insecure,
Maybe asking yourself so many why's.
I know.
It's okay.
Understand that your physical body is just trying to protect you.
We are all built in with this primitive and divine sense of self-defense.
In every situation that presents itself as potentially harmful or stressful,
Particular glands send to our blood stream a huge amount of hormones that act as warriors to protect you.
You probably have already heard of the fight-or-flight response.
Well,
I'd like to add a third possibility in this response.
For me,
It is a fight,
Flight or freeze response.
What do these hormone warriors do actually?
Well,
They prepare your body to engage in a fight or to run away as fast as possible.
They open your pupils so that you can see better the situation in front of you.
They shut down all secretions from your body,
Giving you that dry mouth sensation.
They paralyze your whole digestive tract so that your body understands that this is not a time to do any digestion.
You will be occupied with other important issues.
They dilate your lungs so that more oxygen can be taken in.
You will need it.
They make your heart rate go faster so it sends more blood to where you will be needing it.
And sometimes this response is just so intense that it may be paralyzing.
In the Ayurvedic perspective that looks at our physiology with the primary concept of function and not exactly location of a particular organ or system,
We can say that the prime governor of all of these reactions is Vata.
It is Vata that controls all nervous functions and mobility.
Anything that moves in the body does so due to Vata,
Including our other two main physiological functions Pitta and Kapha.
So,
The fight and flight reaction is governed by Vata.
This vital system of functions will be tensed or exacerbated during these times.
Much care should be taken when this happens,
For there is a very,
Very thin layer separating exactly how much tension of Vata can help us and how much will cause deleterious effects on our systems,
Not only bringing diseases but putting ourselves in a non-ideal state prior to a surgical procedure.
As an anesthesiologist,
I can see all these reactions happening.
I see your eyes wide open searching for all that seems threatening.
I see your lips dried out of worries and fear.
I can hear your breath in its fast pace.
I can sense every pore of your skin exhaling the urge of running away.
More than that,
I can observe with all the modern medical monitors that we dispose of,
Your fast heart rate,
Your blood pressure higher than it usually is,
And other aspects of how much your physical body is trying so much to protect you.
What is it trying to protect you from?
This surgery that came upon your journey,
Whether it is something that you consciously chose to do or not.
For now,
I'm not looking into this specific aspect.
We will be talking about that in another opportunity.
What I want to share today is that this massive reaction inside you may be towards the anesthesia too.
For most of my patients it is.
The fear of being anesthetized may be bigger than the surgery per se.
Why?
A surgery means that our physical body will be changed in some way.
Thoughts about how we are going to adapt and accommodate these changes can be swirling in our minds.
We may have to change how we see ourselves and dealing with change is not easy.
There may be fear of everything that can go wrong,
Fear of life ending,
Fear of death.
We live in a society that doesn't like to think about the end of life,
Do we?
We pass most of our time here on this planet as if we were eternal,
Always with our minds so attached to the past or the future that we end up not realizing that there is only one time,
There is only today,
There is only now.
And what I consider one of the most intense impacts of all,
It is a moment of surrender and that is something that we do not do easily.
In this case,
We do not even have any choice.
More than the fear of the outcome of the whole process is the fear of not having control,
Even if for a brief moment of our existence.
We are going to literally put our lives in the hands of a person that in many cases we only get to meet on the day of the surgery.
We will be lying there disposed of not only our clothes but of all the control that we think we have over every aspect of our lives.
Suddenly you will see yourself in a situation where life gives you no choice whatsoever but to surrender and that can be more scary than the procedure itself.
Come now,
Let's take a deep breath together.
Close your eyes,
Dear one.
Relax your body in a comfortable position.
What is your body trying to tell you?
Where does it hurt?
Do you feel tired and overwhelmed?
The very act of trying to control everything drains out so much energy,
Doesn't it?
Tell me,
Darling,
Is it working or is it constantly making you live in a state of fight-or-flight?
A state that exists to protect but at many times without us realizing leads to living caught inside our beliefs of what our lives should be if only everything happens as we planned.
We get so used to the state of being that we don't realize that by letting go,
By surrendering,
We permit our existence to be closer to the divine.
Life starts flowing in a much lighter and synchronized way.
Instead of feeling tired and overwhelmed,
We feel excitement and wonder.
Now come,
Dear one,
Imagine my hand holding yours with so much love and gentleness.
I am here to share something very important now.
Pay attention.
You will have no control whatsoever,
Neither of the anesthetized state that your physical body will be conducted in,
Nor of the surgery that is about to be performed.
And that is okay.
It's okay.
Permit yourself to surrender even if for only this moment.
Try to feel the comfort and the ease that comes when you permit yourself not to be in control.
Trust your journey.
For some reason that doesn't necessarily need to be understood,
You are here.
For some reason that specific anesthesiologist and that specific surgical staff have been chosen to be here with you.
Trust that they have studied many years and have the experience that is required to help you at this moment of cure.
Accept this treatment as a gift.
Please believe that divine grace will be there guiding their hands and their hearts to do what it is needed.
Let's take another deep breath and let go.
Trust the process.
Trust your path.
One more deep breath together now.
You can slowly open your precious eyes,
My love,
And surrender.
Wishing you all my love and gratitude for letting me help you at this delicate moment.
Namastubhyam.
