Hello beautiful soul,
My name is Karine and I have chosen to tell you a little bit about my story before going on to put out all that I have inside me for you here on Insight Timer.
Well,
What started out to be a short audio has transformed into a made-to-be novel.
Sorry about that,
I just think that it's so important for you to understand how an anesthesiologist ended up here.
Let's admit,
This is not very common and maybe I am the only one of my species.
To make this a bit more comfortable,
I decided to tell this story split up in chapters.
So,
I'm really,
Really happy to have you here and let's jump right on to chapter one of this story.
So,
My name is Karine and yes,
I am an anesthesiologist.
But,
That is just one of the aspects of my life.
It's a profession that I have chosen and worked with for about 24 years now.
I confess that over all these years,
I have worked in different ways and also have had mixed feelings about my choice.
Sometimes,
Totally in love and passionate about the big mystery of keeping somebody safe during a surgical procedure.
Sometimes,
Just so sad and tired of the long hours I have to spend in a surgical room,
Away from the rest of my life.
Sometimes,
So happy to see my patient's eyes shining with relief and peace in the recovery room.
And yes,
Sometimes even disappointed with a few surgeons that have questionable attitudes with whom I had to work with in the past.
But,
As I mentioned,
My profession is just one of the many aspects of my being.
I am also a spiritual seeker and a meditator,
Just like you.
This habit of meditating came into my life somewhat recently,
I think about 6 years ago maybe.
I remember well because I was going through a profound crisis at that time.
I got to a point with so much exhaustion and feeling burned out of so much work that I literally wanted out of the surgical wards.
I started seeking for a new profession.
And as I always loved cooking,
I naively thought that becoming a professional cook and starting my own business would be the solution for all my problems.
So I got into culinary class and 2 years later had a new diploma on my shelf.
During that time was when I started meditating as a way to help myself go through all the changes that were happening outside.
What I didn't perceive,
Although,
Was that the true changes were just beginning to happen and they were inside and not out of me.
I still had a profound belief that I was in control of all the future outcomes of my life.
I finally abandoned my work as an anesthesiologist and moved to another country to finally start what I thought was going to be my new and happy life.
Only to find myself a few months later swept out by the COVID pandemia,
Without a job,
No business opened,
Alone and very desperate.
What had I done?
Why was this happening?
What did I do wrong?
I was still believing that I was responsible for making bad decisions.
Still believing that I was the one to blame for this painful outcome.
And still believing that I had control of my life.
Meditation was my only anchor at that time and I dived deep into my spiritual practice.
I started attending yoga classes at a small studio near my home.
With time and lots of suffering,
I finally let go of trying to control my life.
I permitted myself to try to work with what the universe was presenting to my journey.
Much inspired by a book that I was reading for the second time called The Surrender Experience by Michael Singer,
Which I truly recommend to everyone who seeks for spiritual growth.
I gave myself permission to be sad.
I gave myself permission to feel lost.
I stopped trying to fix my life and worked on opening up to what the natural flow of the universe had in mind for me.
I started seeking more insight with my meditations for answers.
I needed to learn who I really was and what was my true purpose on this journey.
I felt that I had many gifts to give but was just not sure exactly what they were and how I would give them.
I remember soaking in tears during a yoga class one day when my dear yoga teacher came near me and whispered into my ear,
Ayurveda,
Karine,
Ayurveda may be what you're looking for.
It's amazing to see what a whisper can do to your path if you are open enough to hear it.
I had never heard of this kind of medical practice before,
So as soon as I got home,
I started to do research.
Needless to say,
I simply went into ecstasy with everything that I read.
My soul felt an immediate and deep connection with Ayurveda.
That's it,
I thought.
That was it.
I didn't have to abandon my profession as a physician.
Maybe my journey was to practice medicine from another perspective,
A more holistic and spiritual way of helping my patients.
I was so,
So excited about it all that I started my studies right away and moved back to Brazil.
Well,
Thank you so much for being here.
I really hope to see you in the next chapter of this story.
Wishing you all my love and gratitude.
Namastupyam.
