Pep Talk For Parents Day 1

Learn How To Face Parenting Fears. Embracing fears instead of being paralyzed by them = Reducing Anxiety. Fear is accustomed to being avoided rather than embraced, but once we learn how to embrace our fears, they begin to soften and lose their power. When you understand that fear does not have to steal our peace, fear becomes a catalyst for personal development and transformation.

In Pep Talk for Parents, you'll learn how to deal with the nine voices in your head that fuel fear and the parenting superpowers that will extinguish fear so it no longer steals your peace.

Transcript

This is Day 1 of PEP Talk for Parents.

Fears are the mental manifestations of our worst-case scenarios,

Conjured up by our minds and often spiraling into mental paralysis.

They can lead to sleepless nights and a constant sense of unease in the pit of our stomachs.

While fear is experienced primarily in the mind,

It triggers a strong physical reaction in our bodies.

Our brains can become foggy,

Making it challenging to think clearly or make good decisions.

Fear is a complex human emotion that is a natural part of our lives.

However,

When we take the time to understand fear,

We can lessen its power over us.

It is essential to acknowledge that fear serves a purpose,

Showing up to teach us valuable lessons and allowing us to grow.

By thanking fear for its presence,

We shift our perspective.

Fear is accustomed to being avoided rather than embraced,

But once we embrace our fears,

They begin to loosen and soften their power.

No longer able to steal our peace,

Fear becomes a catalyst for personal development and transformation.

When we take the time to understand our fears,

Which can be seen as false expectations appearing real,

We can gain clarity on what truly matters to us.

Our fears can serve as catalysts for personal growth and development as they push us to confront and overcome obstacles.

By facing our fears head on,

We develop the courage to take action and pursue our goals.

As a parent,

Embracing fears is particularly crucial in reducing stress.

Confronting comes with numerous uncertainties and challenges,

And fear can often be present in our minds.

However,

By acknowledging and understanding these fears,

We can approach them with clarity and purpose.

This enables us to make informed decisions,

Foster stronger connections with our children,

And create a nurturing environment for their growth.

Embracing our fears as parents allow us to navigate parenthood's complexities with greater confidence and resilience.

There are nine voices who steal your peace if you believe in your fears.

Unfortunately,

We cannot customize parenting as each child is different.

However,

These nine voices are common in our mind.

The first voice is the avoider.

Hands off parenting.

It discourages crying.

You're emotionally unavailable and there are blurred or no boundaries.

Voice number two is the controller.

There are way too many rules.

It involves micro-managing parenting.

It demands obedience and you have difficulty trusting.

Furthermore,

Your children feel that they lack the freedom to choose and they live in a mental prison.

Third voice is the hyper-achiever.

The hyper-achiever bases love on conditions.

This is connected to achievement,

It's performance-based,

Often focused on winning or earning high grades or accolades,

And it covers up insecurities.

Children often feel that they can never satisfy their parents' goals because they constantly need to perform at a higher level or earn continuous high grades or accomplishments.

The fourth voice is the hyper-rational.

Children feel judged and inadequate.

They are taught that every detail must be carried out or they are seen as less than.

Parents are often patient,

Tend to be skeptical,

And they engage in debates.

The fifth voice in your head is the hyper-vigilant.

Parents often experience intense anxiety,

They are very suspicious,

They have chronic doubts about themselves and others.

The sixth voice in their head is the pleaser.

They have difficulty accepting their children's anger or disappointment,

So their focus is to consistently please and rescue their children.

They also flatter their children and they become resentful towards their parents because their parents' needs are secondary and so children feel that they need to be pleased,

They deserve to be pleased,

And parents will feel that they can never do things for their own self,

They need to constantly please and gain acceptance from their children.

The seventh voice is the restless.

They find it difficult to connect with children,

They are easily distracted,

Children feel bored and unwanted,

And they spend time on negative emotions,

Which to the parents is a waste of time because their goal is to consistently stay busy,

Occupied,

Which makes them feel purposeful.

The eighth voice in their head is the stickler.

Perfectionism is the goal.

Parents use sarcasm,

They are extremely opinionated,

And they often fix their children's messes or they criticize their laziness or sloppiness.

The ninth voice in their head is the victim.

Parents tend to withdraw if they are criticized or misunderstood,

They are very temperamental and dramatic,

And they use shame and guilt to motivate their children.

There are also five superpowers,

Called sage powers,

Where parents see the hidden gift or opportunity when faced with a challenge.

The first superpower is empathy.

They feel and show appreciation,

Compassion,

And forgiveness.

Empathy recharges our batteries.

Many parents use their kids to make them feel whole,

But this way,

When you empathize,

You teach kids to love themselves unconditionally,

Including their weaknesses.

Explore is the second superpower,

Where you embrace the idea that your child can be your greatest teacher.

Instead of immediately judging their behavior,

They approach it with curiosity and try to understand the lessons your child is teaching you.

The shift in focus is from wanting your child to obey to nurturing their independence and foster their growth.

The third superpower is innovate.

When conflicts arise,

Parents challenge themselves to see things from their child's perspective.

Parents allow their children to make mistakes and experience failures,

As these are valuable opportunities for learning and growing.

Instead of lecturing them about their poor decisions,

Parents actively seek the lessons behind their actions.

The fourth superpower is navigate.

Parents reframe challenges as opportunities for growth,

Rather than problems to worry about.

They adopt a positive mindset that encourages resilience and problem-solving.

Parents approach challenges with a more constructive mindset by viewing them as an opportunity to develop and navigate their journey independently with courage and confidence.

The last voice is to activate.

Parents take action with a clear and calm mind,

Exuding positive energy.

Instead of enforcing control like a dictator,

They approach situations with fearlessness and confidence.

By maintaining a positive and calm demeanor,

Parents effectively address issues and guide their children without resorting to authoritarian tactics.

Acknowledge and accept your fears.

Recognize that it's perfectly normal to have fears as a parent,

But understand that excessive worry can be counterproductive.

Acceptance is the first step towards addressing your fears.

Educate yourself as a parent.

Sometimes fears arise from a lack of knowledge or understanding.

Educate yourself about child development,

Safety measures,

As well as parenting strategies.

Being well-informed can help alleviate unnecessary worries.

Focus on what you can control.

Identify the aspects of your child's life that you can control and take appropriate action.

For example,

Ensure their physical safety by childproofing your home or teaching them safety rules.

By taking proactive steps,

You regain control and reduce anxiety.

When we release our fears,

Learn to trust,

And let go of needing control,

We will see our children flourish,

Which will pave the road to becoming independent adults navigating life with courage and confidence.

They will embrace their mistakes without judging themselves and end generational trauma that many adults carry unconsciously,

Passing on their fears.

Practice self-care.

Taking care of yourself is essential in managing parental fears.

Engage in activities that help you relax,

Such as exercise,

Meditation,

Or your favorite hobbies.

Ensure to get enough rest and seek support from friends,

Family,

Or support groups.

Develop a support network.

Align yourself with other parents who can relate to your fears and concerns.

Sharing experiences,

Seeking advice,

And receiving reassurance from others can help alleviate anxieties.

Practice mindfulness.

Cultivate mindfulness and be present in the moment.

When fears arise,

Acknowledge them without judgment,

Then bring your attention back to the present.

Mindfulness techniques,

Such as deep breathing or grounding exercises,

Can help calm your mind.

Encourage independence,

Allow your children age-appropriate independence,

And gradually let them take on more responsibility.

Doing so empowers them to make decisions and develop their skills,

Which can reduce the fears over time.

If your fears are overwhelming,

Interfering with your daily life,

Or causing significant distress,

Consider seeking professional help.

And that's today's pep talk for parents.