Trauma Unpacked Episode 1

Trauma Unpacked is a podcast to assist in the identification of subtle life-robbing effects of unresolved relational trauma that we may or may not recognize in our lives. Host’s Inger Andress and Anna Sorensen are survivors of relational trauma and discuss the benefits of taking this journey and encourage others to enter the beginning of healing through their awareness.

Transcript

Hello,

Welcome to Trauma Unpacked.

My name is Inger Andress and with me I'm Anna Sorensen.

And we are actually trying to bring awareness to the obstacles of unresolved relational trauma in our lives.

And to look at it because we want to see the benefits of healing from that relational trauma that we sometimes knowingly or unknowingly keep hidden.

Our goal is to have a conversation about several topics around relational trauma to share with you how it has helped move us through our process of healing.

In hopes that it will help you as a listener to grow through your process of healing.

Now just to let the listeners know a little bit about ourselves.

Anna can you share what it is that brings you here today?

Yeah,

Well I've been in Cook County for about 14 and a half years.

My husband and our two children live here.

We love living here.

It's a wonderful community.

About three years ago I found that I was in need of a support group and didn't have one available for me to go to.

And I was in enough need that I decided to try to start one on my own as an unprofessional,

Just as someone who needed relational support.

And decided to use creativity or art as a means to bring out the feelings and help process some of the feelings that are going on with myself and individuals with a background trauma.

Specifically family and sexual trauma or abuse.

And that's actually where Inger and I met and both decided that after watching the progress and empowerment from that group.

We realized that there was hope and wanted to help others bring a voice to their story.

Inger do you want to share a little bit why we're going the route of a podcast?

Why we thought it was important?

I think trying to normalize this topic throughout the times of giving presentations across Cook County in the last few years.

There has been several times where afterwards people will come up to me and share things that are going on or have happened in their life and how much they appreciate this being talked about.

And yet it becomes still hidden in something to feel shameful about.

And it's time.

It's time to be released of these really lies is what I look at them as that have kept us from enjoying our life.

From enjoying the fullness of what a relationship can be.

Anybody who is courageous enough to look at it is someone that I highly regard.

Even though it might be uncomfortable,

It is going to be one of the most freeing things to help them enjoy their life in a more fulfilling way.

Inger let's talk a little bit about the benefits of healing from trauma and how it can improve your quality of life.

Okay great.

I think that there's so much internal suffering that comes with being victimized.

And that part of the perpetration is to make you doubt yourself and to turn on yourself in various ways in order to accept the abuse that's going on with you.

So that has a way of playing tricks on us in our brain.

Sometimes where we feel that we're less of a person or we have to overcompensate in another way to keep us away from some of that pain.

Are you talking about a way to cope with the pain?

Yes.

So that actually keeps the negative energy inside of us as we're thinking that we have to sort through that all by ourselves or we're crazy.

Because of thinking that somehow we are to blame through it is how it's been turned on us.

And really we're here to help each other finally expose and bring to light what can free us and to have a much better quality of life.

I think one thing you're relating to is the misuse of authority.

Often abuse can happen from a teacher or a parent or a grandparent.

And the survivor or the person who was abused often feels that it was their fault and then therefore doesn't talk a lot about it.

There's a lot of shame related to it.

And that you'll possibly be rejected from your family if that becomes out in the open.

They have either threatened you or else you either internalize and think that something even worse is going to happen if you let it be known.

And that might be something that started as a child and still as an adult.

Now you know the threat's not real but you continue to convince yourself it's better not to talk about it.

And then that inner blame eats away at our souls and causes us to even turn in on ourselves.

Which makes us think that we have to keep this a secret.

All the while it's eating away inside.

I think when you said it affects our souls,

That's really important to repeat because it is something that affects our souls.

I mean that's who we are and then affects our body and our mind as well.

So it's an attack on our souls.

I had never thought about it affecting my soul until we worked through that at the support group.

And that was a big connection for me being able to say perhaps this is why relationships are so challenging.

So summarizing why one of the benefits from healing from personal relational trauma is quality of life is it's very hard to even recognize.

Part of my journey,

Ana,

Was that it wasn't until I was 39,

40 that I even knew some of these patterns in my life actually were trying to point me to the trauma that I experienced.

When I was starting at age four,

If we can assist others to unpack some of their behavioral patterns in a compassionate,

Non condemning way,

Look from a third person view and just go,

You know,

Why,

Why do I do this?

Why do I have this certain tendency?

You know,

I seem to hold a lot of negative energy around this topic.

I seem to want to get up and walk around.

I get very anxious.

I get panicky.

I think I want to get out of the place.

I feel trapped.

Any of those kind of indicators start to either make you feel crazy or if you have a place for them,

You start to recognize,

You know what,

Maybe there's a reason that they're there.

Maybe it's because of something else.

And that's all we're trying to do right now.

Just to bring an awareness of your own life without condemning yourself,

Without making a judgment call of good or bad.

None of that right now.

It's very important to lay that aside for your soul to feel safe with yourself,

That you're not going to lock it up in a room,

But you're actually going to want to care for that person inside that's been traumatized.

And you want to bring them out into the light to help them know that there's warmth and love in that area of their life instead of thinking that it has to be kept far away in a dark place that can't be nurtured or loved on.

How did it affect your quality of life when you started being aware of those behaviors that you were talking about and you started dealing with them,

Paying attention to them?

How did it change your quality of life?

The glimpses of realizing the lies were actually causing me to feel very bad about myself.

And it was keeping me from reaching personal landmark of confidence and growth because I would always hit those walls.

And how do you feel your quality of life has improved?

Oh,

I get to have my energy go in a direction of positive things that are what I want to experience.

I get to choose how my energy gets used in the direction where I want it to go instead of where I always have to allow fear to dictate what I do.

That's a huge change.

I've experienced something similar to that as well where I feel like I don't have to take on the experiences of others unless I want to.

I think I've been able to develop boundaries with my emotional and mental experiences with relationships that has improved my quality of life tremendously.

We know that some of this information can be very hard to hear,

Sensitive raw feelings.

Want you to love yourself.

If there were any of those kind of emotions drawn up when listening,

We're in this together.

Thank you for listening today.

We hope this encourages you in your journey of healing and that you feel loved and cared for.

Cheers.

Reviews

I have been through sexual harassment and assault and this podcast is resonating with me so much because I too am literally living in fear and I feel like I am to blame for the assailant for assaulting me. I believe that because of the severity of the trauma that it caused, I am in the hospital with possible manifestations of this traumatic experience in the form of a physical ailment. I want to forgive the person who hurt me, but it is so difficult to do so knowing that justice was not served for me at all.

I think this may help me and I’m going to listen to the next episode. Thank you.

Wow, thank you for this.

Very helpful to open this topic. I’ll be looking for more!
Namaste 🙏

Thank you for this talk and for your compassion. I felt so much that I related to while listening and I look forward to the next episode.

To hear it out loud from others is giving me the strength to look at what I’m screaming inside but to scared to say yet. Thank you for being so brave and kind about things that are so very hard❤️💫🙏🏼🪷

Thank you for sharing your experience of the healing process and how it transformed. I have been looking for help to move through my traumas and I think this was a really good step in that direction for me. Thank you!

Thank you for this podcast series. I too ran into looking at my trauma symptoms & behaviors and have learned to understand & accept them. Group support & therapy helps me to heal.

My relational trauma is not only from the past but right up to today in my marriage. What a mess. How do I heal when emotional, psychological and betrayal abuse is still happening? It is so hard to release myself to do what I want and not be ruled by fear. But that is what I need to learn to do. Art? Hmm. How?

Just what I needed tonight. Thank you as I have no community where I live. 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you for being here your work is very inspiring and gives hope to me ✌💜🙏💪

Ok, this relationship trauma healing Hits the spot. Too many spots. I have been struggling from my childhood life for 60+ years. I understand it. I know where and why it came. I still struggle to release no matter what I do. Perhaps you can help. Thank you. I am most grateful. 🙏✨🥰

Yes! I am looking forward to the rest of the series. Thank you 🙏🏻

I related to that so much.

excellent explanation on the internal experience of trauma
soft loving voices to sooth and understand you
thankyou x

i am in tears. im beyond excited to start this journey. thank you

Can you let me know the support group please ?
I’ve been doing this alone for 5 yrs since the memories resurfaced.
Uurgh- am 58 years old and 5 years ago I awoke to the abuse and molestation from when I was 8.
Statistically, I’m 1 in 6.

Thank you for putting this on IT.

A compassionate talk.
Thank you 🤗

I understood where your we’re going with your talk it was a great message! but ended quickly and there wasn’t much time to ponder in between questions😊☀️🙏

The idea of setting up boundaries with trauma is a very interesting one to be explored. Thank you