When we meditate,
We should let go of all will and just notice the breath.
Isn't trying to notice the breath an act of will in itself?
What is the difference between will and awareness?
I think it's possible to think that way.
Will requires a strength.
Because you have to put forth an effort to serve the will.
And that's how our life,
We've been conditioned to live our life.
We're conditioned to live our life.
We enact a will and we put forth an effort to make that will come true.
That's why our mentally,
Physically,
We're always fatigued and our life is filled with suffering.
But however,
What we mean awareness is just that,
Being aware,
Acknowledging a certain thing,
Being observant of a certain thing.
I have this meditation stick in front of me.
And if I don't pay actual conscious attention to it,
It may be there physically,
But I don't notice it.
Because my eyes may be looking at it,
But I don't notice it.
And I don't notice it.
But if I actually pay attention to it,
If my attention shifts,
Then I see it.
So,
If you're not paying attention to it,
You don't notice it.
You're just observing it.
You're not paying attention to it.
You're just observing it.
So,
If you just shift your attention,
And you don't necessarily have to make an effort,
You shift your attention,
Then you start to see things that were already there.
Like the breath,
Breath is happening right now.
So,
If you just shift your attention,
And we're not aware of the breath because we don't pay attention to it.
But if you pay attention to it,
Ask your question,
Am I breathing?
Then you immediately see or become aware of the breath.
And there's no effort.
There's no effort involved in that.
And often times you walk by a floor,
We don't know what's on the floor.
But if you actually look at the floor with attention,
You see that,
Oh,
These things are actually falling on the floor,
These things are placed on this floor.
This is a little different from actually making an effort.
So,
In the midst of peace of mind and body,
You have to totally idle with nothing to do.
Let go of all thoughts of what you need to do,
What you should do,
Or what you should not do.
The odds and odd nots should not be there.
That's when you close your eyes.
And you kind of pay attention to the tip of your nose.
And you will see or become aware that you are breathing.
There's no effort involved there.
But the problem is we're not consistent at it.
Because the attention does not remain on the tip of your nose,
It kind of wanders.
So,
We say we want to focus on the breath,
But our attention wanders to past memories,
To future plans,
To other distractions.
So,
We lose the fact that we are breathing.
So,
What we are practicing is to be awake here and now.
So,
In everyday life,
When something happens,
The easiest place to catch something happening is right then and there.
However,
Since we are not awake to the here and now,
We are not able to catch the problem.
So,
In everyday life,
When something happens,
We are not awake to that happening then and there.
And we regret once it's all passed and things have happened,
That's what happened.
If we look back now,
Your times in high school,
Junior high school,
They were good times.
And maybe that was the time that your life was filled with most purpose and need.
But when you are living then and there,
That was the time that you suffered the most.
We should have realized then and there that we were having the best time of our lives.
In a similar fashion,
We should know that today,
Here and now,
Is the best time of our life.
And if you practice being aware here and now,
How your sensation is happening,
How your feelings are reacting,
How psychologically your mind is activating,
To be aware of what's happening in the here and now,
That's what we are practicing.
Often times that we are so consumed by our feelings that we don't really see correctly what's happening.
So there are sayings in Korea that says greed will blind you or rage shall blind you.
So basically if you are so consumed by your feelings,
At that moment you become a fool and you tend to act in a wrong way.
So the first is to maintain a clear awareness in the here and now.
The second is to be aware of what's happening.
To be aware of the present.
But because you are not able to do that,
You should practice consistently.
And constant practice must drive this.
So this is not a matter of intellectual understanding.
This is a matter of internalizing into your core through practice and through experience.
So the fact that you agree with the theory of Buddhist teaching or it can be scientifically validated,
Does not help you relive your own suffering.
It's not going to help you.
So you have to be aware of that.
And you have to be aware of the fact that you are experiencing the suffering of your own life.
And you have to be aware of the fact that you are experiencing the suffering of your own life.
Those do not help you relive your own suffering.
Only your own internalization experience will do that.
So when you tell me that you are sleepy during meditation but your legs ache and there's pain involved,
You're saying that these are obstacles to meditation.
But the way I see it,
These are inevitable experiences that you have to go through to make this practice the capacity into your own.
