Loving Kindness For Optimum Happiness

This is a calming Loving Kindness practice designed to bring forth feelings of compassion, love, generosity, and kindness toward ourselves and those around us. We are guided to observe the sensations associated with positive experiences of the past to then draw on these sensations in the present.

Transcript

Loving kindness is about tapping into this kind place in our hearts,

This kindness that we naturally offer to ourselves and others when we get out of our own way.

And when we practice loving kindness,

We also learn to see more clearly when we're doing the opposite,

Judging ourselves.

This gives us a nice contrast so we can see what we actually get from self judgment.

And when we see more clearly how the judgment is not helpful and even painful at times,

That contracted closed down feeling,

It helps us to drop this and build the kindness more because kindness feels better.

And yes,

For many of us this really does take practice because we're pretty familiar and comfortable even with judgment,

Especially of ourselves,

And we're less familiar with our capacity for kindness.

Now there are many ways in which we can tap into our own kindness.

For example,

When I first learned loving kindness,

There were three parts to the practice.

One,

There were some phrases that helped me stay centered.

Two,

There was an image that I would bring up of a being that I was sending loving kindness to.

And three,

There was this feeling of kindness that might arise in our body as we do this practice.

So let's play with this just for a moment together,

And then I'll have you play with tapping into it in a different way.

To begin,

Find a comfortable position for your body and let your mind just rest on the feeling of your body breathing.

Just take a moment.

Being fully present with an in-breath.

Being fully present with an out-breath.

One more time.

Fully present with an in-breath.

Fully present with an out-breath.

Now,

And as a contrast to loving kindness,

Remember a situation that made you stressed out or anxious recently.

Notice what that feels like in your body,

Just to remember it.

Does it feel contracted?

Just note the sensations that arise for a few moments.

Just note the sensations that are there right now.

Now imagine a dear friend coming through the door.

Someone that you haven't seen in a long time.

What does this feel like when you imagine them coming through the door and you see them and they see you?

Notice any differences between this feeling and the feelings that arose when you remembered this situation that made you anxious?

Of course,

We can tell which one feels more clenched or contracted and which one feels more relaxed.

Of course,

We can tell which one feels more clenched or contracted and which one feels more warm,

Open,

Or even expanded.

Now let's tap into that expansion a bit more.

Now bring to mind this dear friend again,

Or someone who's been a real role model in your life.

Maybe someone who is unconditionally loving,

Generous,

Or wise.

This can even be a family pet.

Pets are really good at displaying unconditional love.

Now think about their loving qualities and all the kindness they've given you in the past.

Notice if there's a feeling of warmth or expansion that arises in your heart.

If you don't notice anything right now,

That's okay too.

Now just pick a few phrases of kindness that you're going to offer this being you're holding in your mind.

I'll give you some suggestions here,

But it's really important to pick your own phrases,

Ones that you can really connect with.

Holding this being in mind,

Simply offer them a phrase such as,

May you be happy.

You can breathe this phrase in.

May you be happy.

Breathe it throughout your body.

May you be happy.

And now offer to them the second loving kindness phrase.

For example,

May you be healthy.

Breathe it in.

May you be healthy.

Breathe it throughout your body.

May you be healthy.

And now offer them perhaps a third kindness phrase.

May you be free from inner and outer harm.

Breathe it in.

Simply breathe it in.

May you be free from inner and outer harm.

Breathing it throughout your body.

May you be free from inner and outer harm.

Now repeat these phrases silently at your own pace for the next minute or so.

Use the phrases and the feeling of unconditional love in your body as anchors to keep you with the present moment.

If the feeling feels weak or forced right now,

Just relax and focus on the phrases.

As you reawaken this natural capacity,

It will strengthen with time.

Don't try to force it.

You can even hit pause for a moment as you play with this.

How was that for you?

Let's simplify this into its core elements.

Let's distill this into its core elements.

Here are a few phrases from the ancient Buddhist teachings that get right to the heart of this practice.

They go like this.

Simply rest and drink this in.

Even as a mother protects with her life her child,

Her only child,

So with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings,

Radiating kindness over the entire world.

Isn't this beautiful?

Even as a mother protects with her life her child,

Her only child,

So with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings,

Radiating kindness over the entire world.

What a wonderful aspiration it gets at the heart of it all.

We all have this innate capacity,

Just like the love a mother has for her only child.

And when we practice tapping into this kindness a bit,

It naturally radiates over the entire world.

Don't worry if this feels like a bit of a challenge for you right now.

That's why it's called mindfulness practice and not mindfulness perfect.

But the core element is there,

Simply tapping into our capacity to love.

Do you think you can try tapping into this capacity for a moment for yourself?

Notice if there's some closing down or resistance to doing this,

Even as I suggest it.

Yes,

We are good at judging ourselves as not worthy.

Just notice what this feels like and what you get from that.

And see if you can place it off to the side for now.

You can certainly come back and judge yourself later if you'd like.

Take a moment now and simply imagine holding yourself in kindness,

Like a mother holding her only child.

You can even put your hand on your heart if you'd like,

Just to remind yourself that you can love yourself no matter what you've been through or who you think you are.

Hold yourself in kindness.

Let your heart open.

And now bringing this guided practice to an end.

Hopefully this gave you a taste of what loving kindness can be like.

If you resonated with the phrases as an anchor,

You can play with extending this not only to loved ones,

But to yourself,

To people on the street,

And even difficult people in your life as a way to practice letting go of contraction and moving into the warm open qualities that come with opening your heart with kindness.

Be sure to pick phrases that really speak to you or drop the phrases altogether and simply anchor in that warm open feeling in your heart.

Or if you resonated most with simply holding yourself in love,

You can practice awakening and cultivating this feeling by itself.

The more you tap into it,

The more your brain will say,

Wow,

I want more of that.

Reviews

Good points. btw your website is unsecured. it's easy fix

So helpful to enhance my meta practice and understand it better.

Always worth listening along. Wisdom. Thank you 🙏🏼❤️

Only just discovered your work Dr Judson and wow I feel so uplifted.

I've never truly dealt with my feelings of anxiety for 30 years...until an event happened that made me wake up.

It's been challenging and it's had its ups and downs. I am a perfectionist at heart and I am not kind to myself when I'm not 'winning' which creates a downward spiral in itself.

Through your course and now through your book, I feel like I'm on my next step of getting to know myself and the world.

Sending love from Liverpool England and wishing you a blessed Saturday morning

May you be happy as well!! Thank you very much, I just finished reading Dr Jud’s book “Unwinding Anxiety” and low and behold, here he is on my IT feed like literally five minutes after I finished this amazingly helpful book. Many many thanks with heartfelt gratitude & joy- you are doing much good in the world & plz keep it up- thank you!!!

Amazing self awareness! This practice has unlocked a stumbling block in my life! Now I can sense when I go into ”protective mode” and choose to put forth GOD’s love to others. Thank you!

Love this mindfulness practice! Brought a happy tear to my eye

Very refreshing gets right to the point. This was my first introduction to this teacher and I found it refreshing

Great reviews of a sweet practice. Your voice really helped envoke the emotions of loving kindness

I felt a second of ease in my chest by practicing this meditation. Healing starts with seconds 💓

This meditation really resonated with me and I will keep it and use it! Love him!

Very calming. The words helped me deeply to an insightful meditation. Thank you so much. Namaste 🙏🏽

Beautiful explanation- excellent expansion in the sensation of loving/kindness. Thank you!

Loved it.💖 Practical, thoughtful, logical, kind and loving.
Thanks. 🌈🌻

A short but thorough and effective meditation on loving kindness! Useful for getting out of a cloudy heart/mind and quickly reminding yourself of strategies to shift into more nurturing thinking towards yourself.

If everyone truly acted on this knowledge, well, we’d create heaven on earth. Here’s to extending love abundantly! Thanks for the to the point, beautiful message, Judson. 😊

great suggestion

Will come back to this many times. Thank you again

Wonderful! Thank you 🙏 You have such a calming voice.

Thanks for your help to start this process, beautiful words.