Hey everyone,
It's Judy Cohen,
And this is Wake Up Call 428.
And yeah,
I'm curious about Chapter 11 of The Places That Scare You,
Which is just a page and a half,
Because in that chapter,
Pema Chodron offers what sounded a little bit to me like a pith instruction or a pointing out instruction.
And I had to look that up.
It came to my mind,
But then I had to look it up because the practice comes out of the Tibetan or Vajrayana tradition,
And that's a tradition that I've practiced only just a tiny bit.
But I found an article by New England teacher Pema Doodle in Tricycle magazine who wrote pith instructions,
Also referred to as heart teachings,
Essential instructions or direct pointing out instructions are a form of concise yet rich teachings that distill the core essence of Buddhist or mindfulness philosophy into clear experiential guidance.
Such instructions aim to bypass intellectual complexities and lead practitioners directly to transformative insights.
They cut through complicated doctrines to provide a direct and profound experience of the nature of reality and the mind.
They're shortcuts to understanding and experience and get right to the point,
Taking the practitioner from where they are,
Their point of departure,
As it were,
To their destination,
Which is insight or even awakening,
Rather than merely indicating the general direction,
Like someone you meet on the road to ask for directions who waves vaguely towards the horizon.
They take you straight to where you want to be.
So that's what it felt like to me.
And then I called,
I called my friend,
Robert Chender,
Who is a co-leader,
Co-lead teacher with me in this year's teacher training MLTT,
Which starts Sunday,
By the way,
Very excited.
And Robert is a longtime Vajrayana practitioner and teacher.
And he said,
What's pointed out is the mind beyond concept,
But we can only absorb the teachings if we're ready to hear them.
So from Robert's description,
I don't know if I have this right or wrong in terms of what this is.
It may not be a pith instruction.
But for me,
Anyway,
When I read it,
I don't know,
Something shifts and you know,
Something that feels powerful,
But also simple.
So you probably want to hear it.
I want to share it.
But first I want to give you the color,
Right?
The background.
I had to say color because it's Super Bowl weekend and you know,
Go 49ers.
But Pema says in this chapter,
Look,
It's not enough to do compassion training theoretically or to practice sometimes.
We also have to bring the training alive.
I love that.
We have to bring it a lot.
And she poses the question,
How do we make the teachings real in the midst of our over scheduled lives?
And I'm raising my hand.
How do we discover our inherent clarity and compassion?
How do we develop trust that openness and maitri,
Which remembers love,
Kindness,
Compassion are available even in the most frantic moments?
I love that.
Even in the most frantic moments.
And then she gives us a suggestion,
A practice,
Which she calls sharing the heart.
And she says it's simple.
You know,
She always says that.
And as usual,
I would say for me,
Yes,
Simple,
But also so challenging to remember moment to moment.
You know,
When things are going well,
It's a little easier to remember sharing the heart practice when things are aligned.
Work is great.
Kids are great.
Grants are great.
Everybody's health is good.
You know,
Four out of five,
Even three out of five.
But when things are going sideways,
Not so much.
And you know,
That's just me.
So but it might come easier for you.
And so here's Pam is sharing the heart practice.
She says the essence is that when we encounter pain in our life,
We breathe into our heart with the recognition that others also feel this way as a way of acknowledging when we are closing down and of the training to open up.
So when we encounter pain,
We breathe into our heart with the recognition that others also feel this way as a way of acknowledging when we are closing down and of training to open up.
And then when we encounter pleasure or tenderness,
We cherish it and rejoice and then make the wish that others could also experience this delight or this relief.
OK,
So yesterday I had a conversation with my daughter and she's in a tough moment,
Starting a new career,
Very unsettled,
Lots of things.
My equanimity was low and I came away feeling frustrated on her behalf,
On my behalf and kind of shaken.
So I thought,
OK,
Good,
Good opportunity.
And I breathed into my heart with the recognition that other moms feel this way when their kids are struggling,
Other parents.
And I remembered a recent conversation with my aunt who's like she's like an older sister to me.
We're pretty not very many years apart about how she feels shaken and frustrated supporting my cousin through so hard times right now.
And I remembered a friend whose daughter has been really difficult for several years now.
And,
You know,
Trish tried to open to everyone in the world who loves their children with that ferocity that if you can relate to this,
It sometimes almost borders on pain.
And like I do,
Like my aunt does,
My friend does,
Everybody does.
And you know,
Who feels their kids pain intensely.
And I could feel,
I could feel,
I could feel that my heart wasn't very open,
That there was like a shutting down.
And so it helped to think of the other people.
And I think my heart maybe opened a little and I got some sleep and I'm feeling less shaky today.
And I do know that I'm not alone in this.
If I ask people to raise their hands right now,
I'm guessing that many of you would raise your hand.
And of course,
You know,
I still want to fix things.
I still,
I still want to like help,
Even though I know that,
You know,
In my bones,
In my mind,
In my bones,
How inappropriate that would be.
My daughter's a full on adult and not in the least bit helpful.
So,
So my report on practicing sharing the heart with a painful thing is that it did open my heart a little and I'm going to keep practicing with it because it's a little bit helpful and maybe it'll become a lot helpful.
And also because I feel like that's what Pema would say to do is just keep practicing with it.
So,
Yeah,
I'm going to do it.
And also I had a chance to practice sharing the heart because we had a grand baby born on Monday and he's beautiful and healthy and his mom is doing great.
And none of that was a foregone conclusion because it had been this super high risk pregnancy and I felt just like miraculously everyone's good.
And so I've really been cherishing this goodness,
Which has felt wonderful.
And I practiced sharing it,
Sent a photo of the little guy to a lot of friends and family and also to a community I really love and which had offered a lot of prayers for him when things were not looking so good.
His name's Eli.
I share,
I did this sharing the heart practice after Eli's birth and it was,
It was simple and it was easy.
I did notice a teeny tiny,
Teeny tiny bit of resistance of wanting to keep that for myself,
You know,
Wanting to keep it.
And that was really interesting.
Right.
That was just really interesting to see that.
OK,
So none of that is the PITH instruction if it is a PITH instruction.
The PITH instruction,
If that's what it is,
Comes in the next sentence or in the summary.
So after giving the sharing the heart instruction,
Pamis sums it up by saying,
When life is pleasant,
Think of others.
When life is a burden,
Think of others.
And then she says,
If this is the only training we ever remember to do,
It will benefit us tremendously and everyone else as well.
So that's it.
When life is pleasant,
Think of others.
When life is a burden,
Think of others.
OK.
So let's let's sit and maybe sit with that instruction.
So just beginning with the body,
Locating,
Locating the body,
Sensing into the body,
Dropping in,
Settling in,
Sensing the weightedness of the body,
Connected to the chair,
The cushion,
The floor,
The earth,
Seeing what is happening in the mind body right now,
Allowing for whatever is present,
So settledness or agitation,
Sadness,
Joy,
Difficulty,
Ease,
Welcoming it all.
So connected to the earth,
Connected to ourselves,
And then connecting to each other,
Connecting to one another here on the wake up call,
Connecting to the other beings in your environment,
If you're home,
The people who share your space with you,
If you're in a workplace,
The people who share your workplace,
If you're in a car,
The people who share the road,
Acquaintances and strangers and even the difficult people in your life,
In the world.
And then if there is something difficult going on in your life,
Just calling it to mind and breathing,
Breathing into the heart,
Knowing that other people feel this way,
Have had this,
It's not just me,
It's not just you,
Recollecting the story of the ancient story of the mother whose child died,
Bringing the child to the Buddha and asking him to bring the child back to life and the Buddha said,
I'll do it,
But first bring me a mustard seed from a home in your village that has experienced no loss.
Of course,
After knocking on door after door,
The woman realized that she was not alone and she came back and said,
I can't do it and she became a practitioner.
So encountering pain and breathing it into our heart with the recognition others have this pain too and maybe there's something really wonderful in your life right now or even a small thing,
Some small pleasure,
Some small tenderness and just take a moment to cherish that and to rejoice,
Feeling that goodness,
Letting it bring a smile to the lips and then intentionally reconnecting to the people in your environment,
Your home,
Your workplace,
Your life,
The world,
And making this wish that other people could experience this joy or this relief or whatever this wonderful thing is or this small thing is.
Really sending it out there as if opening the hands and making a kind of offering to the world.
You can even do that right now.
Just open the hands and the sensation of how that feels.
How does that feel?
When life is pleasant,
Think of others.
When life is a burden,
Think of others.
Thanks everyone for being on the Wake Up Call today.
Enjoy,
Enjoy this practice,
This sharing the heart practice and be safe and well.
See you next Thursday.
