Taming The Restless (Legal) Mind

The truth is, for so many years I loved my restless mind. Whenever things were about as busy as they could get, and then got a little crazier, I loved it. I felt like I was in top form, saving the world. Do you ever have that feeling?

From a mindfulness perspective, the problem with that "save the day!" state of mind is that it can obscure things. As often as it feels laser-sharp, it can also be moving too fast for nuance, too fast for insight and wisdom to arise.

Transcript

Hey everyone,

This is Judy Cohen.

This is Wake Up Call 308 and it is July 8th.

So staying with this beloved text of the Dhammapada,

And I've been listening on Audible to a wonderful translation by Professor Eknath Ashwar,

If you're interested.

We've looked at chapter one,

The dichotomies about remembering that unwholesome states of mind lead to sorrow and wholesome ones lead to happiness.

And then the second chapter,

Vigilance,

About using our mindfulness practice to watch carefully what state of mind we're in.

And shift to a more wholesome state whenever we're not in such a wholesome state and how essential that is in the law where it's,

I don't know,

It's a place where unwholesome states are almost sanctioned,

Right?

So the third chapter of the Dhammapada is called simply the mind.

And it starts with some lines that describe the mind and seem familiar to what we've been looking at so far.

And also at least to me to the way I think about it,

I think of the legal mind.

So things like the restless agitated mind,

Hard to protect,

Hard to control.

Like a fish on water thrown on dry ground,

The mind thrashes about.

These similes in the ancient texts are so fabulous.

The mind hard to control,

Flighty,

Alighting where it wishes.

The mind hard to see,

Settle,

Blinding where it wishes.

So this restless agitated mind,

I really recognize this.

When I'm in lawyering mode,

That's what I'm doing.

I'm looking for what's wrong or what might be wrong or what might go wrong.

And often I don't rest in the present moment because of what I perceive to be danger lurking in every corner,

A kind of a feeling of missiles incoming from any direction that I might not be paying attention to.

So I feel like I have to keep scanning,

Scanning.

And yet I delude myself into thinking that I'm at ease because it does feel that way.

I'm putting out fires and they're going out.

There's endless incoming,

Ringing phones,

Looming deadlines,

Frantic heads poking into my office door,

Texting kids,

And I'm saving the day.

I'm not breathless exactly,

But also not breathful.

Grabbing bucket after bucket,

I'm quenching fire after fire,

But kind of from a bring it on state rather than a calm settled state.

So can you relate to that?

And for me,

This is the mind that's like a fish out of water thrown on dry round thrashing about,

And there's momentum too.

Then I get in the car and I start making calls and I finish them in my driveway and I'm checking email when I get inside or I'm looking forward to doing that or I'm feeling the pull to do that.

And then maybe something to review after dinner or in earlier days after the kids were settled.

So this is my restless agitated mind,

And it has a corollary,

Enzymatic experience.

The body,

In this case,

The body of the lawyer can also feel unable to settle.

Agitated because there's so much pressure,

There's so much to do,

There's so many people depending upon us,

Pulling on us.

And also agitated not only because of those conditions,

But because of how seldomly throughout the day,

If this is true,

How seldomly we're taking a breath or two or three.

So this chapter of the mind concludes its description part of the mind by saying,

For those who are unsteady of mind and whose serenity wavers,

Wisdom does not mature.

And isn't that the case?

I know I can get stuck in this mode and if that happens,

We won't,

Maybe we can't really reach our potential because our thinking is always a little bit obfuscated when our minds are unsteady,

When serenity wavers,

When we're restless,

Agitated,

Thrashing about.

Even when the thrashing feels productive,

Like we're saving the world.

And he goes on,

But for one who is awake,

The chapter promises,

Whose mind isn't overflowing,

Whose heart isn't afflicted,

Who establishes this mind like a fortress.

Neither mother nor father nor any other relative can do one as much good as one's own well-directed mind.

So of course,

We can read this.

We can talk about it.

But it's our own experience that's going to verify whether any of this is true,

Which is why our practice is so essential,

Right?

Without a meditation practice,

How do you know what's happening in your own mind?

How do you learn to notice restlessness and agitation and thrashing about?

You can always ask the question,

But to know whether learning what restlessness feels like for you and how to shift into a steadier mode and how to overcome that pull of staying in that restless mode,

Staying in that agitated mode.

And then in order to predict for yourself what that shift will bring and what failing to shift will portend,

Right?

It's all about the practice.

So I want to tell you a story about that.

Today we are launching the new Warrior One website.

So I'm super excited.

Check it out.

You're probably going to have to do that little trick where you hold down the shift button and refresh your browser window to get there if you've been on the old site recently,

Because I don't know,

It's sticky.

That's how that works.

But anyway,

I worked with my long time IT company,

Which I think did a gorgeous job,

Really proud of them,

Really happy about the work that they did.

But before that,

I'd been referred to another company and I worked with them.

And they come really highly recommended by some folks in the mindfulness community.

In fact,

A bunch of folks and they did some not really very nice things.

So first they wrote this kind of tricky contract,

Which this lawyer,

Shoemakers,

Children have no shoes and all that,

Didn't read very carefully.

It had all the right things in it that we've talked about that I wanted them to do up at the top.

But then in the boilerplate basically said,

Well,

We're not going to do any of that.

So that's on me.

And then their designer could really achieve what we needed and got really exasperated and wrote some not very nice things.

And then in the end,

Their main person sent up a Zoom call,

Which I thought was going to be about,

Okay,

So how do we shift into whatever we need to do to get this right?

And instead it was this really intense kind of mansplaining Zoom,

Not in a nice way,

I don't know if there is a nice way to do mansplaining,

But it wasn't very nice.

And so anyway,

We had to pivot and now we have the beautiful new website and I want to write to them just to close.

I'm not asking for anything from them.

I'm not asking for a refund.

I did read that part of the contract,

But just to close.

And for me,

This is a very potent moment.

I've written this note,

This email,

I've rewritten it,

I've rewritten it,

I've rewritten it,

I've rewritten it in a bunch of different states of mind.

Calm,

Agitated,

Compassionate,

Angry,

Restless.

You're probably familiar with this task.

And I still haven't put their names into the to line of the draft because I'm just not there.

I feel like I have to wait because,

Well,

Here's another line in the chapter and I think this is also true.

Whatever an enemy may do to an enemy or haters one to another,

Far worse is the harm from one's wrongly directed mind.

So I'm waiting.

And maybe there's an email you have to write or a call you have to make.

So I think what would help me the most and maybe this is helpful to you too is some loving kindness.

So I'm thinking let's do a loving kindness meditation together now.

And I'm going to direct my loving kindness,

My meta,

My kindness,

My friendliness to these folks who have sent my website and see what shifts and see if I can actually write a better email,

An email that I'll be happy a year and five years from now to look back at and have gladness in my heart for having written it.

And I want to invite you to do your practice right now for someone maybe you see as the enemy,

As a hater,

As someone against whom you have the upper hand,

Maybe rightfully so,

Maybe just someone who you feel really needs to be schooled,

Right?

And so we'll do that and we'll leave a minute or two at the end to look and see if the practice has settled the mind and relieved some of the agitation and maybe opened up a doorway to maybe just one ray of wisdom in this situation for you.

So,

And if you don't have anybody that you're working with right now or that you have to write to or call,

Then you can maybe just do the meta for yourself.

So first taking a few moments to settle in.

Taking a few conscious breaths.

Bringing as much relaxation to the body as is available to you right now,

Sitting back maybe in your chair if you're in a chair,

Reclining.

And just finding relaxation in whatever pose you're in.

And then let's begin by just warming the heart by calling to mind some non-being whom you just love.

Could be a human,

Could be a pet.

I'm going to bring in my very sweet old Labradoodle because she's so easy to love.

And just let the heart warm.

Let the body relax even more.

The image of this being whom you love,

Who loves you.

Let that sense of meta and kindness fill the heart space,

The belly,

The arms and legs,

Hands and feet,

And then seeing if there's a smile available,

Bringing that to the lips.

And then thinking about this person that you have to write to or call.

And seeing how they also have people in their lives who really love them,

For whom they are the beloveds.

How they have suffering and sorrow in their lives and really just want to be happy.

Maybe they have a practice that supports that,

Maybe they don't.

And even though you have something you have to say or write,

A point you have to make,

Maybe there is this wholesomeness,

This desire not to harm,

Not to be the cause of suffering,

Not to cause them any more sorrow.

How much heartfulness there is in that and also wisdom.

And so just calling this person or these people to mind and saying the classic phrases,

May you be happy.

And may the causes of happiness be present for you in your life.

And may you have good health and the causes of good health.

And may you be happy.

And may you be safe.

May you be safe in your life and may the conditions for safety be present for you.

And may you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

Thank you for being here today,

For joining me in this practice as well.

And I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope you have a wonderful day.