Random Acts Of Non-Harming

I’m looking around. And it looks to me like there’s just so much harm. Not only our government, but also the ways it’s easy to mimic what’s happening on the national level, even when we don’t mean to: forgetting how much harm we can cause by not offering kindness to everyone (or by forgetting what “everyone” means).

What about looking for ways to not cause harm? And every time we see them, not only not causing harm, but doing something kind? Including for ourselves: what about looking for ways to do kind things for ourselves (which for me, anyway, feels easier when I’m not harming others)?

Because if not now, when?

Transcript

Hi,

Everybody.

It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 516.

Yeah,

I hope everybody is staying well resourced or as well resourced as possible in this moment.

My partner and I went to see Liz Cheney on Monday and it was really inspiring to listen to a thoughtful,

Kind Republican who is deeply committed to the Constitution and the rule of law.

It was really a breath of fresh air.

So,

Yeah,

That was amazing.

So we're walking the Noble Eightfold Path,

Right?

We're always walking that path.

And we've looked at wise effort,

Wise mindfulness,

And wise concentration.

And now we're exploring the SELA or the ethical elements of the path.

And last time we looked at wise communication.

So let's start exploring wise action today.

And as I mentioned last time,

The premise of all three of the ethical steps on the path is the same.

It's to do no harm,

Which means the invitation to us as humans and as professionals is to communicate,

Act,

And work without causing harm.

So that's the invitation and maybe also the challenge,

Right?

So wise action has five elements and you might recognize these also as the five precepts.

Do no harm,

Take nothing that's not freely offered,

Don't misuse sexuality,

Don't engage with substances that impair the mind,

And don't communicate unskillfully.

And you can see that the last of the five is also the first of the three ethical steps,

Wise communication.

So it's important enough that we're invited to work with it on its own and then as part of wise action and then as one of the five precepts.

So I just think that's interesting.

It's one of the things I love about mindfulness too is the way that everything just bends around to itself.

So let's take these elements one by one and start with do no harm.

And with do no harm especially,

You know,

Let's start by remembering that we're not perfect and may not,

Probably won't,

I'll speak for myself,

Probably won't get to a place where we create zero harm 100% of the time or perfect the other four elements of wise action either.

But I also want to say that just because we probably won't or may not achieve perfection doesn't mean that we should be realistic.

If I'm being realistic,

I can see a hundred ways that the law points me to causing harm or causing necessary harm.

But that's in the system as currently imagined,

Right?

And while a good bit of this walk down the path is very much on the ground or what you could say,

The relative practice of mindfulness,

Right?

There's also the imaginal or absolute way of looking at do no harm in particular,

Which is to do no harm at all full stop.

So,

You know,

I'd say in sitting with do no harm and in practicing with it and reflecting on it,

Let's not be realistic.

Let's explore the aspiration to do no harm with the idea underlying,

You know,

Norman Fisher's book on the paramitas,

The world could be otherwise.

Let's,

Let's look at it from that frame.

The law could be otherwise.

We could cause zero harm in law and in life.

You know,

Let's,

Let's hold this step on the path like that,

Right?

And,

And keep that wild aspiration front and center,

You know,

And as long as we hold that aspiration dearly and in our hearts,

Then let's also forgive ourselves when we fail,

Right?

Okay,

So with do no harm,

There's physical,

Emotional,

And spiritual harm as the kind of biggest perspective,

The big bucket personal and interpersonal perspective.

And on those levels,

There's those pieces.

On the systemic level,

There's also no oppression,

No bias,

No hate.

And then if we pan back and consider how interconnected we are,

Which is completely,

And how we belong to one another,

And we belong to the earth,

There's no harm to the earth,

And there's no harm to non-human species,

Right?

So these are the really big pan outs that we can look at,

I think.

So starting with person to person,

Physical,

Emotional,

And spiritual harm,

I've been kind of applying two inquiries.

You know,

First,

Can we not actually cause harm?

Can we not hurt anyone physically?

Most of us probably live well outside of a circle of causing physical harm to others.

But then again,

Have we checked in,

Right?

Are our small or even what we perceive to be either warm or culturally acceptable physical encounters causing harm?

You know,

What to me is an amusing fist bump might mean something entirely different to someone else might feel like harm.

So how do we do that?

Check in skillfully?

How do we take in whatever information we get back and then change our behavior,

Right?

Meaning,

How do we honor what's welcome and what's not,

No matter who sets those boundaries and no matter what the setting is?

And can we also not cause emotional and spiritual harm?

Or,

You know,

Where does the yelling and the threats that feel almost like a part of the fabric of the legal profession,

Where do those fit in,

You know?

And the win-lose structure and the associate partner ladder climbing structure and the endless billable hours structure where there's no time to take a breath,

Let alone be outside in nature,

Sit in silence,

Sit a retreat,

Right?

And the glass ceiling or what can feel like the concrete ceiling for women,

For those who identify as BIPOC,

For the queer community,

You know?

So on the systemic level,

Can we not?

Okay,

So that's personal,

Interpersonal,

Sorry to jump forward so quickly.

Then on the systemic level,

You know,

Can we not be the oppressor,

Right?

The person who brings bias into the conversation or room or system,

You know?

Can we be the person instead who does the work to recognize,

To see our own internal implicit biases,

Right?

And who's aware of when hate arises and takes care not to let it inform what we say or do.

And can we make whatever changes are needed?

And these are very inconvenient changes to cause no harm to the earth and to non-human species,

You know?

So these are just some inquiries that for me fall under this big inquiry of,

Can we not cause harm?

So I was saying I have two inquiries and one is,

Can we not cause harm?

And the second is,

Can we care enough about not causing harm to look at what might be the deeper dimensions of this step on the path?

And this is just my formulation of it,

But what I mean by that is,

You know,

First looking at not causing physical,

Emotional,

Or spiritual harm,

Can we take our plaintiffs as we find them,

Right?

To use a phrase that we're all familiar with.

Meaning in this context,

Can we pay attention and care so that when we either learn from someone that we've caused harm or the systems we've put in place or are perpetuating are causing harm,

Can we take a good hard look and can we make changes,

Right?

Can we turn completely away from the what?

The careless,

The callous,

The self-serving concept that collateral damage has to happen if we're doing our job well,

Right?

Or if we're living our life,

You know,

And instead pay attention to the ways that we might be causing harm just by talking about someone or just by accepting the status quo,

Right?

And I mean,

For me,

This is so hard because it means I have to admit to myself that I'm causing harm when I want to see myself as somebody who would never do that.

You know,

I want to see myself as somebody who would never do that.

But in the law and in the world and in this moment,

You know,

What if we had the courage to stop denying any harm we're causing on any level and the grace to love ourselves anyway?

You know,

What might we discover?

What might upset or scare us to death?

And what good might we be able to do?

And then last thing is like wise communication,

You know,

Can we also apply these inquiries to the ways that we might be causing harm to ourselves,

Right?

Because to slightly misquote the texts,

But hopefully for the good,

We could search the whole world over and never find anyone more worthy of non-harming than ourselves.

And to quote Adrienne Marie Brown for the millionth time,

What we practice at the small scale,

You know,

In this case,

The ways we relate with harm or not towards ourselves does really set the pattern for the whole system.

Okay.

So let's sit.

So finding a comfortable posture,

Settling in,

Dropping in,

Sensing into the body,

Sitting in the chair,

Lying on the couch,

Lying on the floor,

Sitting in the car,

Wherever you are,

Closing the eyes and seeing if the breath is available to be located or sound,

Whatever would best support you in settling and stabilizing the mind,

Mind,

Heart.

And then inviting this very gentle,

Please be gentle inquiry.

Am I causing any harm to myself?

Maybe put your hand on your heart,

Maybe just do that in your imagination or put your hand on your belly.

And if I am causing some harm to myself,

How can I shift that?

Would I be willing to just take one action today to change any harm that I'm causing to myself,

To mitigate that or to end that?

And then very gently,

Am I causing harm to others or to the earth,

To the non-human world?

And just gently,

Gently,

Because maybe we can all come up with something.

And being careful and kind to ourselves right here,

Making sure that we don't cause harm to ourselves in seeing this,

You know,

That really important difference between taking responsibility and blaming myself.

And then is there one thing that each of us can do to mitigate or to end some harm that we are causing?

And taking that with you,

Take that with you today and the piece about not harming yourself.

Thank you,

Everybody.

It's so nice to see you and to sit with you.

Take good care and see you next time.