Hi everyone,
It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 402.
Today I want to talk about mindfulness as a place of possibility,
No matter what's happening inside or around us,
Just because that's how the practice is holding me right now.
So it's been an eventful 10 days because,
Well,
First there was my father's death and nothing has really been bigger for me at this stage.
And I'm not really sure he's gone.
I mean,
It's an impossible belief to hold.
Maybe if he had lived with us,
It would be more concrete for me.
But anyway,
It's an impossible belief to hold right now.
And then on Monday,
My daughter and I got some news about a project that's kind of going off the rails and it might write itself in a really great way,
But it's definitely tilting.
So it's like that feeling of being in a deal that I've had so many times in my life and the deal starts to a little bit go sideways.
And so that created a big tilt for us.
And at the same time,
It's been an ordinary 10 days.
I ate the usual meals,
Did the usual practices,
Spent time with the usual suspects,
Took a quick trip up to Bend,
Oregon to be with my daughter.
And even there,
In the midst of the sadness,
In the midst of that big tilt,
We did the usual things,
Ate at our favorite taco place,
Went on our favorite hike,
That kind of thing.
So it's been an extraordinary time and also an ordinary one.
And what I want to say about that from a practice perspective is that for me,
It's not so much that in the midst of the ordinariness of life,
Extraordinary things and sad and difficult things have been happening.
And that's one perspective,
But it's not the one that strikes me the most.
The one that strikes me is the flipped perspective,
That in the midst of the extraordinary,
Heartbreaking,
Shattering moments of the last week,
It's been possible and even easeful to remember the ordinary.
And to to delight in the ordinary.
So looking in the practice of exploring body,
Mind and heart,
I've been noticing a lot of sorrow,
Of course.
Sometimes sorrow,
It comes like a tornado and it just takes me down literally to the chair or the floor or even even the ground.
And sometimes it's it's a whisper that barely calls my attention.
In both cases,
You know,
It's been with me like a friend,
The way Naomi Nye says,
You know,
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
You must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
And then let it go with you as a shadow or a friend.
And I would also say,
At least in my experience right now,
That it's not only to know sorrow as the other deepest thing,
But that,
Yes,
That thing of sorrow,
It has to be a friend.
Femme Chaudron says mostly we regard discomfort in any form as bad news,
But to spiritual warriors who have a hunger to know what is true,
Feelings like disappointment,
Embarrassment,
Irritation,
Resentment,
Anger,
Jealousy and fear.
And I think she would include sorrow instead of being bad news are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is we're holding back.
We feel bad about ourselves and there's no way to manipulate the situation to make ourselves come out looking good.
No matter how hard we try,
It just won't work.
Life has just basically nailed us a moment of having the perfect teacher and lucky for us.
They're with us wherever and whenever we are.
They're with us wherever and whenever we are.
So this invitation,
As I hear it,
Is to go deep,
To plumb the depths of sorrow,
To climb down deep inside and see what it holds,
To ask what lessons there are,
How to relate better or differently to the emotion.
And that's what I mean when I say that sorrow feels like a friend,
That in going in,
Going down,
There's there's only one way for me to be with it right now.
Which is as a friend.
And when my daughter and I got the news about this deal tilting,
We were heading out for a hike,
We kept our plans,
Which were to go for a hike by the Deschutes River,
Which is a spectacular,
Spectacular place.
And as we hiked,
We named the emotions as they arose,
Frustration,
Anger,
Shock,
Disgust,
Dismay.
And then what choice did we have?
We could have let them loop us in.
We could have gotten caught in their vortex.
And we did.
I mean,
I'm not saying we never did,
But we also decided to make them our friends.
You know,
We examined them without taking them too seriously.
We looked at the whole situation as completely serious and not serious.
You know,
And that's when my daughter started doing the most amazing things,
Calling out the red-tailed hawk as it flew by.
And the butterflies playing in the milkweed.
And the tree that when she scraped off just a fingernail of bark and she said,
Come here,
Mom,
Smell.
And it smelled like vanilla.
Right.
So we invited our anger and our frustration to take their places along the trail with the other.
The others,
Whatever they were,
Who were there with us,
Wonder,
Amazement.
Awe.
And that was the thing that made me realize that no day,
No life is ordinary.
You know,
There is no stable,
Easeful place to stand.
And from which if we're lucky,
From that vantage point or that spot or that house or that spot on the earth,
If we're lucky and if we're good,
Nothing terrible happens.
Right.
That it's the opposite.
It's completely the opposite.
Every day,
Especially in the world as it is right now,
But maybe as it's always been for us humans and I don't know,
Maybe for other species as well,
Other beings as well.
There is only the way that tumultuousness and sorrow are coming in a completely reliable way day after day after day.
And that what we can do is look in and see that there's also gladness and peace.
And look up and see that there's also a hawk and a tree that smells like vanilla and a good person offering us a delicious taco with a big,
Beautiful smile.
So we can yearn for less strife,
You know,
Less sorrow,
Less tumult,
Fewer deals going sideways,
Less stress.
But then there's the world and maybe there's karma,
Who knows?
And we just have no control.
As Chogyam Trungpa said,
The bad news is we're all just falling through the air,
Nothing to hold on to.
The good news is there's no ground.
So looking in,
Looking up,
Ordinariness within the extraordinarily bumpy day after day after day.
So let's sit.
Finding a comfortable posture,
Your posture,
Whatever most supports you right now.
Sensing into the body that is yours.
The breath that is flowing in and out.
And whatever measure of ease and wellbeing is present for you right now.
Maybe a sense of complete ease,
Being able to let go into this moment,
The breath,
Whatever sounds,
Whatever is in your mind.
And then let go of the rest of the body.
And let go of the rest of the body.
And let go of the rest of the body.
Being able to let go into this moment,
The breath,
Whatever sounds are in your environment,
Or whatever sounds you can hear through my microphone,
If you hear the birds.
Maybe there's ease,
Maybe there's not ease.
Maybe there's tightness or tension or sadness or sorrow or fear or whatever,
Whatever is here.
Whatever friends have gathered to be here with you today.
Just seeing who's here.
Exploring the contours of each moment as it arises and passes away.
Not evaluating,
Waiting for the better one to arise.
Just exploring what's here.
And as you're exploring what's here,
Maybe the more difficult or staticky thoughts or emotions are louder,
They're more prominent.
Also looking for moments of peace,
Moments of grace.
Moments of grace.
And also looking up,
Whether eyes open or eyes closed.
And recollecting someone or something in your life that is amazing.
Or with eyes open,
Looking around your environment and noticing something you hadn't noticed before or that you have noticed many times.
That's inspiring.
Inspiring.
Not instead of,
But just as another friend.
The friend of sorrow,
The friend of stress or fear or anger.
And also the hawk as a friend and the butterfly.
The photograph of my father or the photograph of your beloved.
So thank you for being here today.
Just a quick note that I am going out on a longer,
Longish retreat.
So I will be gone for the next few weeks and I will be back on July.
I'm going out from July 5 to July 23.
So I will be back.
Wake Up Call will be back on July 27.
So I will see you on the 27th of July.
Take good care.
Happy Independence Day,
Whatever that means for all of you.
Take good care.
