Love And Intention, Even Now

This isn’t a moment when I can pay attention all the time:
sometimes I just need to turn away, or walk away.
But whether I’m engaged or disengaged, 
wisdom and love have their place.

The question I’m working with is, 
how do I meet each moment with three wise intentions:
to let go of wanting things to be different, 
because right now, they just are how they are;
to be kind and loving, no matter what; 
and to have compassion for the wild cast of characters 
living on, and running, the planet right now.
I wish I had any answers but at least that’s the inquiry right now.

So, happy Valentine’s Day. The classical invitation is to send some love to the beings you love.
That’s an easy one to accept.
And here’s another invitation, maybe not as easy: 
send some love – not flowers or chocolate but secretly, 
just in your own heart, or practice – 
to someone you could never imagine loving, ever.
And see how it goes.

Transcript

Hey everyone,

Welcome,

It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 478.

Happy almost Valentine's Day.

So I keep hearing from people about what people are calling survival strategies and some people say they're not looking at any news or that they're monitoring their intake or limiting themselves to one source or another or only looking at positive news and trying to not pay attention to what's happening to the extent that they feel that it's going to tip them over and to overwhelm or distress.

And it seems like there's a lot of wisdom in that.

If you look at the five mindful promises or precepts,

Which are to not cause harm,

Not steal,

Not engage in sexual misconduct,

Not speak unwisely or unkindly,

And not consume substances to cloud the mind,

That last one speaks to the wisdom of being careful about ingesting distressing news.

Thich Nhat Hanh spoke to that in his version of the five mindfulness precepts.

He says the fifth one,

To not consume substances to cloud the mind,

It includes not ingesting items such as certain TV programs,

Magazines,

Books,

Films and conversations in case those poisons betray our ancestors,

Parents,

Society and future generations.

And he affirmed,

He said instead to work to transform violence,

Fear,

Anger and confusion by practicing a diet for myself,

He said,

And society,

Because that's what's crucial for self-transformation and for transformation of society.

So maybe the choice to restrict intake is not only wise,

But it's also self-compassionate.

And that said,

I feel like it depends on the intention behind the choice.

So the ancient mindfulness texts are super clear that basically everything rests on intention.

It's not our words and actions that matter the most,

But the intentions that inform them.

And when intention is wise and wholesome,

Then thoughts and actions trend towards good wholesome impact and towards happiness and liberation.

And when intention is unwholesome or unwise,

Then thoughts,

Words and actions are likely to cause harm,

To point towards suffering and create sorrow.

That's how the system of cause and effect supposedly works.

And it's something I can see in my own life.

And maybe it's something that you can see in yours also.

So wise,

Wholesome intention is one of the steps on the eightfold path.

So it's part of the map pointing us towards happiness and freedom.

And like many mindfulness teachings,

It also has its own steps or components.

And in this case,

There are three.

And the first step or component of wise intention is called renunciation.

The second is non-ill will,

And the third is non-cruelty.

So for me,

Sometimes these are easier to understand and work within their affirmatives,

Which are letting go,

Kindness and compassion.

And if my intention is to let go and be kind and be compassionate,

It's a wholesome,

It's a wise intention,

One that will lead to happiness and freedom,

Not to sorrow and harm.

And if my intention is to grasp or cling or cause harm or be dispassionate or cruel,

Then in that case,

My words and actions will cause harm and lead to sorrow.

So how to tell if the choice to turn away from the news or to turn towards it for that matter is based on wise intention.

So letting go or renunciation,

It sounds a little like giving up all our worldly possessions,

But it's not.

Or at least for us,

It's not.

For those of us who haven't made a decision to do that.

For us,

It's about letting go of desire,

Of all that grasping and wanting that's so exhausting and drives us to crave bright,

Shiny objects and the perfect person or for the people we have already in our lives to be perfect and also for ourselves to be perfect.

Letting go of grasping and craving for more and more comfort and ease or for things to be better or different because we mistakenly believe that if we get those things,

Well,

Then we'll be happy,

Right?

And non-ill will is also a kind of renunciation.

It's giving up hate and giving up wishing for others to fail or to come to harm.

And it's affirmative,

Kindness is a practice,

The practice of metta,

Of wishing well for other beings without discrimination,

Without choosing who is deserving of kindness and who isn't.

And,

You know,

Keeping in mind,

This is all happening in the heart,

Mind and the formulation of intention.

So this isn't a practice that requires me to bake cookies for my abuser or to send flowers to Washington for that matter.

You know,

It's not necessarily easy to do,

But it's the cultivation of internal wise intention so that the choices that I make are informed by that and not by hate.

And so the same goes for the final step of wise intention,

Non-cruelty,

And non-cruelty in its affirmative is compassion.

And so that's what we're really talking about,

Non-discriminating compassion,

The kind Kuan Yin offers with her thousand eyes and hands,

The compassion for all beings,

Including what Jesus said,

You know,

That they know not what they do for the people who know not what they do.

Right.

And again,

It's the cultivation of compassion in the heart and mind.

So it doesn't require me to invite an ice enforcer to rest their head on my shoulder and cry,

Which surely they would want to do on someone's shoulder if they only understood the consequences of their actions.

Although I guess I would say inviting them to rest their head on my shoulder would be something,

Would really be something.

Okay,

So to the current context of turning away and turning back towards current events,

It seems to me that wise intention and its components are the imminently logical and practical way to go,

Which is the way that mindfulness works anyway.

It's always logical and practical.

So whether I'm turning towards or away,

If my intention is to renounce or let go of wanting things to be other than they are moment by moment,

Even if all day long,

My work or my life is about creating a more just and equitable next moment,

Then it's a very practical intention.

Right.

If I have the intention to let go,

I can stay in my internal zone of tolerance where I'm relatively at ease,

Where I'm able to learn,

Where I'm not in fight flight,

Where I'm not in collapse,

Where I'm present,

Where I'm mindful,

Where I'm aware,

Where I'm non-reactive.

And then when I choose to turn towards or away from the news,

From the moment,

It's without what for me anyway can be that incredible stress of why is this moment like this?

How did we get here?

This is horrific.

I feel so powerless or I feel responsible or I feel frustrated or overwhelmed.

It's just with I see and how can I help?

And the same seems true to me for non-ill will or kindness,

The second component of wise intention.

It's logical.

And in the case of this one,

It's also sane,

Right,

To meet the moment that way.

If ill will,

If anger,

If hate are like carrying around a hot coal and expecting someone else to get burned,

Why do I want to walk around with these really painful burns on my hand and my heart?

Why not have the intention to take a look or to turn away when I need to with kindness?

Right?

Remember the Dalai Lama said,

Be kind whenever possible.

It's always possible,

Right?

So what if that's true?

I mean,

I feel like it's worth a try.

And also,

I know the work I'm doing is better when it's coming from sanity,

Which for me anyway is the same as saying when it's coming from love.

And then finally,

Non-cruelty or compassion,

The third element of wise intention.

It's also practical because the truth for me is that I feel like my heart is going to literally break if I keep hardening it,

You know,

It'll just become so brittle.

So turning toward or turning away,

Who is deserving of compassion?

And you know,

The teachings say all beings is the answer.

And surely there's something to bow to in every being,

Something to care about.

Or,

You know,

What if we take the ancient indigenous wisdom view and cultivate compassion for all beings for the benefit of the seven generations who will come?

You know,

Love and compassion for the great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great,

Great grandchildren of the whole wild cast of characters living on the planet right now and running the planet right now.

Right?

Thich Nhat Hanh,

Again,

Don't let the poisons betray our ancestors,

Our parents,

Society,

And future generations.

Okay,

So let's sit.

Finding a comfortable posture,

In this case,

Leaning back if you'd like,

Relaxing.

And we'll do a brief meta practice for the benefit of all beings and because it's Valentine's Day tomorrow.

So settling into the body,

Into this moment,

Taking a few intentional breaths,

Relaxing whatever level of relaxation is available to you right now,

Settle into that,

And seeing in front of you,

Kind of in the mind's eye,

The heart's eye,

Some being whom you just love in an easy,

Easy way.

Might be a friend,

Might be a spiritual figure,

Might be a puppy or an old dog or cat,

Grandparent,

Maybe even long gone.

And just let the love that you have for this being and that this being also has for you,

Kind of infuse the moment,

Infuse the body.

Let it create a field of love internally and externally,

Internally throughout the whole body and externally in the space surrounding you.

And then let that space that surrounds you widen to include the whole room or the whole area where you are,

The whole building,

The whole car,

The whole boat.

And then let it include the community where you are,

Let the love that you're experiencing expand to include the whole community,

Flow out to the whole community where you are,

To the town or the city,

The county,

The province,

The state,

The country,

The ocean,

The hemisphere,

The whole planet.

Let that love,

That loving-kindness just flow out to all beings on the planet,

Including yourself.

So all beings,

Without exception,

And beginning to wish well-being for all beings and for yourself,

We're included in this.

May all beings be happy.

Imagining an earth where all beings living on the earth and living underneath the earth and in the skies above the earth and in the waters,

Where all beings are happy.

I'm really wishing that and wishing for good health as well for all of those beings and for ourselves as well.

May all beings have good health or the best possible health afforded to them right now.

Healthy minds,

Healthy bodies.

And may all beings have safety.

May all beings on the earth and under the earth and in the skies above the earth and in the waters,

And may all of us also have safety.

Be safe internally,

Externally.

And may we all be free.

All beings be free from suffering,

Internal suffering,

Suffering that comes from anything external,

All beings.

I'm not going to ring the bell.

I'm going to,

All the old-timers know what I'm about to ask,

Is turn on your screens and find three people and secretly wish them well.

Or you could do more than three.

Thank you,

Everyone.

Wonderful to be with you.

Be well,

Be safe out there.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Love you all.