Hey everyone,
It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 408.
Happy last day of August.
I hope you're safe from all the storms if you're out east and safe everywhere else as well.
What a summer.
So we've been exploring this teaching with contact as condition.
Feeling comes to be with feeling as condition.
Feeling comes to be with craving as condition.
Clinging comes to be,
And today I want to say a little bit about the last phrase,
Clinging,
Which really the way that I want to talk about it is just about letting go instead of about clinging,
Which is they're the same,
Right?
They're the opposites.
But just for us to review one more time,
Conditions are exactly what they sound like,
The conditions of our lives in each moment.
And contact is what happens when our eyes,
Ears,
Nose,
Mouth,
Skin,
Or nerves,
Or mind connects with an object.
So our nose makes contact with the scent of those chocolate chip cookies baking,
And our mind makes contact with the thought chocolate chip cookies are baking,
And also makes contact maybe with the worry that we'll be sorry if we eat too many.
This is all me,
Of course.
And then feeling is the pleasantness or unpleasantness of not really caring,
A kind of neutrality.
The pleasantness or unpleasantness or not really caring,
So it's kind of neutrality,
That last one,
That arises on contact.
So contact between my nose and the scent of baking cookies happens for me that moment is pleasant.
Contacting the thought that chocolate chip cookies are baking is probably pleasant or could be neutral.
And the worry about eating too many is unpleasant.
And then craving happens right after that.
And it's so fast that we have to be paying really close attention to catch it.
So I smell chocolate chip cookies baking,
I crave more of that smell,
So I almost automatically take a deeper breath,
Or I worry I shouldn't eat too many cookies,
And I push that thought away,
Or maybe I push away the actual cookie plate.
But if the taste is pleasant,
Then there's these sort of competing feelings,
And I probably push away the thought and grab for another cookie.
And this process is happening all day long.
And so the first question is,
How does seeing it illuminate the way we create our own suffering?
And it's not by eating too many cookies,
Or even by worrying about eating too many cookies.
It's more subtle than that.
It's the underlying belief.
For me,
It's almost always completely unconscious,
Unless I'm really,
Really paying attention,
That if I just have enough cookies,
Or if I have enough cookies whenever I want,
Or if I can resist cookies whenever I want,
Or if I can not worry about cookies,
Or not worry about resisting them,
Then I'll be happy.
And so you can see how we're going to start talking about letting go.
In the law,
Suffering,
It's not about grasping for those pleasant moments,
Like an empty inbox or a win,
Or a bigger 401k,
Or a good relationship,
Or solid fitness,
Per se.
And it's also not about grasping for less stress,
Or more ease,
Or a stronger mindfulness practice,
Per se.
And in fact,
Some of these may be very wholesome aspirations that we want to be striving towards.
So then what's suffering about in our law practice,
In our life as lawyers?
It's about grasping for those things,
And other things,
Because we believe they'll make us happy.
It's about grasping for them because we believe there's some destination.
And when we get there,
Later today,
Or by the end of the year,
Or in a decade,
Or at the end of our lives,
We'll finally be permanently happy.
It's about this persistent and very human belief that resides deep down in our bones,
That once we've gotten the things we want,
Or become who we want to become,
And once we've avoided dragging into that imagined future moment,
All of the unpleasant things that are in this present one,
Then we can coast.
And that's why we grasp for pleasant moments,
And turn away,
Or run away from unpleasant ones.
It's a belief that grasping and aversion can get us to a place of lasting happiness,
Even though we know that's not how things work.
Even though we know that everything in the physical world,
Our work,
Our status,
I don't know if our status is in the physical world,
But our bank accounts,
Our relationships,
Are subject to change,
Are always increasing,
And decreasing,
And coming,
And going,
And rising,
And passing away.
And even though we know happiness only exists in this moment,
Right now,
And even more profoundly in making peace with this moment.
Another way of saying this,
And we know this,
Is that we have this very human belief deep down that somehow we can arrange our lives to be just the way we want them,
And then all will be well,
And that way we can avoid the dread that something will change for the worst,
Right?
It's the most normal human thing in the world.
And since our clients are also human,
And also normal,
Mostly,
They believe this too.
And a lot of time,
They're coming to us so that we can help them arrange their lives too,
Arrange their relationships,
Or businesses,
Or environments,
Or finances,
So everything is just so,
And won't change.
We write settlement agreements that say that nothing can change,
Right?
In the belief that if we do that for them,
If we do things right,
If we do things the way they want,
Then they'll have lasting happiness too,
Or at least they'll have a kind of temporary reprieve from that same sense of dread.
And then what happens is with contact as condition,
Feeling comes to be.
With feeling as condition,
Craving comes to be.
With craving as condition,
Clinging comes to be.
So we grasp for what's pleasant,
We get it,
And then we cling for dear life.
We cling to good relationships,
And good business,
And high status,
And positive states of being.
We cling to notions that we can avoid letting anything change them.
We cling to the stubborn,
And frankly,
Deluded belief that we have that power,
Right?
And I say we,
I'm the we,
I do this.
And I forget that change is the only thing that any of us can count on.
And we all know this.
The weather is good,
And the next thing we know,
We're in the eye of a rainstorm or a firestorm,
And we're clinging to the idea that the storm isn't happening or shouldn't be.
And all we really have to do is let go.
All,
Of course,
It's not easy.
I'm not very good at it,
But when I can remember to do it,
It's what a relief.
Sometimes it's about letting go of a thing,
The belief that more time or more money will make me happy.
Sometimes it's not about letting go of a thing at all,
But about letting go of grasping for a thing.
So not letting go of a sense that justice needs to be done,
But letting go of grasping for justice day after exhausting day,
And instead making peace with the probability that we won't solve for injustice in our lifetimes,
Even though we're still going to get up every day and work as hard as we can to do that.
And on its most powerful level and most easeful,
It's about letting go into whatever is waiting.
A sense of peace when I let go of the aspiration for a future permanent happiness,
A sense of a life being well-lived when I let go of fighting so hard.
I love the way that Insight and Zen teacher Gil Fronsdahl puts it.
He says,
One of the nice things about letting go into something is that it has less to do with willing something or creating something than it does with allowing or relaxing.
Once we know how to swim,
It can be relaxing to float by allowing the water to hold us up.
Once we know how to have compassion,
There may be times when we not only let go of ill will,
But also let go into a sense of empathy.
Letting go of fear may be about resting back into a sense of calm.
A wonderful result of letting go is to experience each moment as being enough just as it is to be present for our experience here and now with such clarity and freedom that this very moment stands out as something profound and significant.
We let go of the headlong rush into the future,
As well as the various imaginative ways we think I'm not enough or this moment is not good enough,
And discover a wellbeing and peace not dependent on what we believe or want.
It's as if we've been in a one-room cabin with our relatives,
Snowed in for an entire winter.
While we may love our relatives,
What is gained when we open the door and get out into the spring probably feels exquisite.
Okay,
So let's sit.
Finding your posture,
Whatever your most supportive posture is,
And maybe letting go of any sense of how you feel that you should be sitting or what should be happening right now,
And just noticing what is.
How is your body right now?
How is your breath?
And then invite you to just do a simple body scan,
Starting with the top of the head and letting the attention flow down through the body,
Letting go at the top of the head,
The forehead,
The eyes,
Letting them fall back into their sockets,
The cheeks,
The tongue,
The jaw,
The back of the head,
The neck and the throat,
Shoulders,
Arms,
Hands,
Fingers,
Upper chest and upper back,
Abdomen and lower back,
Pelvis,
Buttocks,
Sit bones,
Upper legs,
Lower legs,
Feet,
Toes,
And then maybe a couple of more times at your own pace,
Just really checking out this sensation of letting go,
Building some motor memory.
It is as if we have been in a one-room cabin with our relatives snowed in for an entire winter.
While we may love our relatives,
What is gained when we open the door and get out into the spring probably feels exquisite.
Thanks,
Everybody,
For coming to the wake-up call today.
Really nice to see you.
Have a good week,
Safe week,
Nice Labor Day weekend if you're in the U.
S.
And I'll see you next week.
