Laziness And The Lawyer

Once upon a time there was a lazy lawyer. Said no one, ever.

How can a lawyer be lazy? They wouldn’t last a minute, in law school or practice. There’s an endless amount to do, and then there’s more to do later. And our job is to, well, do it all. Well.

But maybe there are ways we’re lazy in terms of taking care of ourselves. I’m guilty of that. So...what if we could be a little less lazy about our wellbeing, our resilience, our mindfulness? What about that happily ever after?

Transcript

Hello everyone,

This is Judy and this is Wake Up Call 433.

Sorry to be a little late,

Computer issues.

So I picked the title of today's Wake Up Call,

Which is Laziness and the Lawyer,

Because I wanted to share what Pema says about laziness in The Places That Scare You,

But I also have my doubts about laziness and lawyering in a way,

You know,

Laziness and lawyering is kind of a fable,

So that's why I called it that,

And in a way,

I'm afraid we can be super lazy.

So it's a kind of both and.

So when I first think of laziness,

I think of getting things done and I think of someone who doesn't do that or won't pitch in or won't learn,

And I think of myself,

You know,

When I don't want to unload the dishwasher,

As opposed to when I'm just plain tuckered and too tired to unload the dishwasher.

Or I think of maybe skimming a book instead of reading it through,

As opposed to when I get plenty from skimming something.

Pema's take on laziness is more investigatory,

Which of course,

Because she's all about our practice of investigating our own experience.

And so with laziness,

She says there are three kinds of laziness and she calls them comfort orientation,

Loss of heart,

And couldn't care less.

So just to say comfort orientation,

Laziness,

What it's not,

First,

It's not the appreciation of comfort.

I like my comforts.

I like to be warm when it's cold and let's just call it,

I like a soft cashmere sweater as much as the next person.

I like to be cool when it's hot,

Although I guess I'm more of a shade person than an AC person until these last few scorching years.

I like to eat relatively close to when I get hungry,

Although I'm also happy to wait for a great meal.

So comfort orientation,

Laziness isn't really those things.

It's a kind of a strong desire and then acting on that desire to avoid the slightest bit of discomfort.

And so another way of saying it is it's not wanting to be in touch with or we could say inconvenienced by the kind of texture of life.

So someone who stands relatively patiently,

Dripping wet,

Waiting their turn for a warm shower at the pool and the air is cooling off,

They are not having discomfort orientation,

Laziness,

Right?

Even if their teeth are chattering a bit,

But they're laughing,

They're not taking the moment too seriously.

So they're being patient,

Not only with whoever's in the shower before them,

But it's also with their own discomfort.

So in my experience,

When we can be patient with our own discomfort,

That patience becomes portable.

So when I can relax my shivering body and laugh and wait my turn,

I can do that elsewhere too.

I can relax and bear a long day of Zoom or a meal at a restaurant that arrives after everybody else has been served,

Right?

Or traffic.

Pema is pointing out comfort orientation,

Laziness as a way to remind us,

I think,

That it's possible to train ourselves to be patient with the texture of life.

Or you could say to be unlazy in relationship to discomfort.

And I think this is important.

It feels important considering how uncomfortable practicing law can be,

Right?

People are late or people are unkind or they yell on screen.

People send pleadings that are inarticulate or they're grammatically incorrect or they're just plain ridiculous.

And in my experience,

All of this,

And there's a lot more,

It can create a kind of a discomfort and make it easy for me anyway to lash out.

You know,

If somebody's opposing me,

Can't they at least spell my name right?

You know,

That kind of thing.

And Pema points,

She points right to this and she says,

If we need,

She says,

We need to cultivate patience and a kind of easygoing-ness in relationship to discomfort because otherwise we can become aggressive,

Right?

She sees it just the way it is.

This or that didn't go my way and now I'm angry or I'm frustrated.

Even though it's nothing more than things just making me uncomfortable,

Right?

And so she nails it when she says we become outraged at inconvenience.

I really love that.

And this kind of laziness and the aggression that it can foment,

It's really off-putting too.

It affects whether or not people want to work with us,

Want to work for us.

As a young lawyer,

I worked for a partner who had a lot of comfort orientation laziness and he was always running down the hall and screaming at somebody for some very minor infraction,

Right?

It was really unpleasant for everyone.

He didn't last.

Loss of heart laziness.

This is different.

This is a form of a kind of self-pity,

You know,

It's when we sit around counting up the things we don't have,

The people who don't love us,

You know,

The accolades we should have gotten and didn't,

You know,

And what we're forgetting,

What we're being lazy about is helping ourselves,

Taking care of ourselves,

You know,

Putting on our own oxygen mask.

And,

You know,

People always make that sound so easy,

Take care of yourself.

And and if it is easy for you,

Wonderful.

I love that.

For me,

It hasn't always been.

Sometimes it's still not.

You know,

I've been loss of heart lazy many times in my life.

And it doesn't always take the form of sitting around and bemoaning.

It's more,

I'd say,

Lawyerly.

It's where I've worked way too hard or too much,

Taken on too much,

Forgotten to say no for,

You know,

Years at a time and then caught myself pitying myself for that.

Like,

Oh,

I'm just so over busy.

I'm so overwhelmed.

Right.

But I hadn't taken care of myself in the first place.

So Pema reminds us of the obvious,

That loss of heart laziness.

It's about forgetting how to take care of ourselves.

And sometimes,

I don't know,

I feel like our whole profession has this.

It's a forgetfulness around that we really have to take care of ourselves first.

We really have to put on our own oxygen mask.

Couldn't care less laziness is kind of what it sounds like.

It's a form of loss of heart laziness that goes even further.

We feel too unenergetic to care about anything or anyone.

So it's loss of heart,

But without the vulnerability.

So it can be edgy and aggressive and we can get kind of self-violent,

Take out our laziness on ourselves and the statistics in our profession are not good on this kind of laziness.

We can have that mentality of it's all going south.

So why shouldn't I go with it?

It can lead to depression,

Even suicidal ideation,

Even suicide.

And it's this profound way that we,

Lazy maybe isn't the best word in this case,

But she's using it.

Don't take care of ourselves.

Don't reach out for the help that we need.

And these three kinds of laziness,

They're all really,

If you take a look from a step back,

They're about not taking the time to be caring and loving towards our,

Our bodies,

Our minds and our hearts.

And PEMA says we tend to meet them by either attacking ourselves for not doing a better job,

Right?

By indulging in our self-pity or by ignoring our loss of heart.

And so her advice is to become more inquisitive about our states of mind and then learn to stay with whatever mood we're noticing or whatever information we get.

So mindfulness and learning to stay,

Which are her very consistent and powerful messages.

And I would say yes.

And in a profession that a hundred percent disallows laziness of any kind,

I want to bring in some self-compassion too,

Because self-compassion around comfort orientation,

Laziness reminds me that my intolerance for small and,

And big mistakes and sort of infractions arises out of how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure we put on ourselves and how much pressure there is in the law to,

For everything to be perfect and self-compassion around that and loss of heart laziness and couldn't care less laziness reminds me to focus on gratitude because a lot does go well and we're all good at our work and we all have plenty and it also reminds me to take care of myself,

Put on my own oxygen mask so that I'm always being heedful and replenishing my own energy and goodwill and heart because that's what gives me the ability much more than my training or my education to then take good care of the people I represent and teach and love.

Okay,

So let's say,

Letting go of the words and just taking a breath or two or three,

Coming to this present moment,

Relaxing the body in the chair or on the cushion or standing or lying down,

Whatever your posture is right now,

Walking,

Noticing your connection to the earth,

To the other humans in your world,

To all of the other humans,

All of the beings in your world,

To all of the other humans,

All of the beings,

Tapping into that and then connecting to yourself and just doing a kind of a self audit,

How am I this morning or this afternoon?

How is my own beautiful heart?

How is this mind that works so hard and the heart works hard too?

And just the invitation that these next few moments be moments where we aren't lazy about taking care of our own hearts and minds,

Where we really let go of everything else and just care for ourselves.

For a few minutes,

Noticing if the mind wants to wander over to the to-do list or to the would have,

Should have,

Could have category and just gently bring it back.

Or if the heart wants to wander in those directions,

Gently bring it back to the present moment,

This moment of caring and loving,

Caring for and loving yourself.

Maybe for the last just half a minute of our sit together,

Taking the hand and placing it on the heart and expressing the wish,

May I be well,

May I be safe,

May I be happy,

May I be free.

And then fluttering the eyes open,

If they were closed or looking up,

If you were looking inwards and taking this with you.

Thank you so much for being on the wake up call today.

Take good care,

Be safe,

Be well,

Be happy,

Be free.

I'll see you next Thursday.