How To Not Take More Than We Need

As lawyers, how can we commit to the wisdom of not taking anything not freely offered to us? Or not taking more than we need?

How can we commit to not being biased against one another? To not continue to perpetuate power imbalances, especially if we benefit from them?

Theoretically, it seems possible. But in practice? Maybe if we make the commitment and then practice mindfully, we can do it. I’d like to think we can. It gives me joy, and hope.

Transcript

Hi everyone,

It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 396.

Been talking about shame and dread,

Or hiri and otepa in the Pali,

The useful kinds of shame.

Shame about how we'll feel if we say or do something unwise,

And then dread about how we might hurt someone if we do that.

And last week the inquiry was in the context of the five commitments of wise action and wise livelihood,

Which are cause no harm,

Take nothing not freely offered,

Don't misuse sexuality,

Don't deal in intoxicants,

Don't deal in poisons.

So in the context of those five commitments,

And particularly the first one,

Cause no harm,

How do hiri and otepa operate?

And just to say in terms of not causing harm,

Basically hiri and otepa operate as a kind of a safety net,

A kind of a spidey sense that comes up as like,

Oh no,

I know better,

Or,

Or I might hurt someone if I say that or do that.

And then once we're committed to not causing harm,

Which,

Which is of course is aspirational,

Not a commandment we can break,

Right?

Then when we're,

We're tuned in,

Listening,

Not just to,

But also for that sense of shame and dread,

We can catch them.

And then we have the chance to use stop,

The practice of stop,

Stop,

Take a breath,

Observe what's going on.

Wait,

This doesn't feel right.

I,

I can see this won't go well for others or for myself because it will lead to overwhelm or anxiety or depression,

And then proceed with caution or differently or not at all.

So what about the other aspirations,

Taking nothing not freely offered,

Not misusing sexuality,

Not dealing in intoxicants,

Not dealing in poisons.

How are Hiri and Otepa operating for us as lawyers in connection with these?

Look at the next two.

First,

Take nothing not freely offered.

So right away,

We may have a problem because we aren't inviting our clients to set their own fees.

We have a rate,

We quote that rate,

Occasionally we lower it,

But in general,

We,

We get our rate.

How many of our clients would truthfully say that they've freely offered us our rate?

So that's a question.

And then there is Thich Nhat Hanh's perspective,

Thai's perspective,

To use his nickname,

On,

On not taking anything not freely offered.

He suggests we also not take more than we need,

Which is another good one for us because from one way of looking at it,

How many of us need the salaries we take?

And then from another way,

Well,

Maybe plenty of us.

And it's something to contemplate,

Keeping in mind that our decisions not only affect ourselves,

But they also affect others.

And they also have the potential to affect society.

Robert Bogota,

A Buddhist scholar born in 1918 in Columbus,

Sri Lanka,

Interpreted the ancient texts about this question in part by saying,

And I've,

I've changed some pronouns here,

Economic activity should be regarded as a means to an end,

The end being the full development of the person.

Work should serve the person,

Not enslave them.

People should not be so preoccupied with the business or busyness to be more accurate of earning a living that they have no time to live.

While income and wealth through righteous means will bring satisfaction and happiness,

The mere accumulation of riches for their own sake will only lead to unbridled acquisitiveness and self-indulgence resulting later in physical and mental suffering.

The enjoyment of wealth implies not merely its use for one's own happiness,

But also the giving for the welfare of others as well.

So I think for many of us,

Our work does serve us,

But there is also the risk of becoming enslaved by it,

Which goes to the question of not causing harm to ourselves.

And Bogota also speaks to the second commitment to not take anything not freely offered and not take more than we need.

And he seems to be saying that giving back is a protection from the consequences of,

For example,

Asking for a high fee and accumulating wealth.

And in fact,

The suttas do say there's nothing wrong with accumulating wealth per se,

Only in how we use it.

Then Thay takes it further.

He says that not taking anything not freely offered is also a commitment to preventing others from enriching themselves from human suffering,

The suffering of other species,

And the suffering of the earth.

So if I take him literally,

Not only can I not represent anyone doing those things,

Which is a good bar,

But it's a high one,

But I also can't invest in any companies doing that,

Which means I have to have a very carefully curated portfolio of my own,

And I have to actively call out my clients who are causing that kind of harm or investing in those who do,

Which is probably unreasonable for me to do,

Which to me means I have to investigate clients at that level before I take them on and be willing and able to say no.

And this is where Hiri and Odupat come in and will help.

Once I commit to not taking anything not freely offered or not taking anything more than I need and to preventing others from enriching themselves from suffering of any kind,

Then because of that I'm watching for shame and dread,

Right?

And when those light bulbs go on,

They stop me.

You know,

They make me stop,

They make me take a breath,

They make me observe,

And then I'm really looking for how is this going to go,

Right?

What is right about this?

What is not right about this?

What will cause harm?

What's taking too much?

And then decide how to proceed.

And this is when I'm accepting or not accepting clients or taking or not taking work from clients.

This is also true for not misusing sexuality,

Which is the third commitment.

And again,

Tai has a powerful definition.

He says not misusing sexuality is a commitment to not harm ourselves,

Our partners,

Our children,

Anyone's children,

The family,

Or society.

So I really love this.

And I would also add that not misusing sexuality for me is also about not allowing bias or oppression to operate regarding gender identity or sexual orientation,

And also not engaging in or condoning or really permitting sexual harassment or a power imbalance among the sexes.

So what might happen if we all made those commitments,

If they're resonant for you?

Once in the 1990s,

I was hired by a woman real estate developer.

And I had never represented a woman real estate developer.

And I really had to sit myself down and examine my bias because,

You know,

Here I was a woman lawyer,

But I was really shocked by how prejudiced I was against this woman real estate developer.

I'd never met a woman doing that work before.

I'd never heard of a woman doing that work before.

And it took some time before I could be fairly confident that I wasn't misusing sexuality by acting or thinking in a biased way towards her or buying into the power imbalance that informed my belief that men did that work,

Not women.

Right?

So in my experience,

The thing is that once we make a commitment to not misuse sexuality in the broadest sense,

In the same way that once we make that commitment to not cause harm or to not take more than what is freely offered,

Then Hiri and Otepa are a great help.

You know,

They're there to raise the question in the moment,

Will I feel ashamed if I say that or do that?

Or do I dread the results?

And if there's a possibility that the answer is yes,

Then they're there to remind me to stop,

Stop,

Take a breath,

Really look inside and then proceed with caution or differently,

And sometimes not proceed at all.

So let's sit.

So finding a comfortable posture that is both upright and relaxed,

Locating our connection to the earth,

Whether it's just beneath our feet or whether it's many stories down,

Locating a connection to ourselves,

How am I doing right in this moment without judging or assessing just how am I doing?

And then also connecting with one another and then tapping into that sense of what is right,

What is wise,

Sila,

Ethics,

Morality,

And letting that sense just come alive for us as a kind of a fundamental commitment.

And then once once situated there,

Seeing if there's ease,

Knowing that your heart is aligned with what is right,

What is wise,

What is moral,

What is good.

And if there's some relief,

Gladness in that align,

Or if there is misalignment in recollecting something that you've said or done or concern about something that you may be about to do or have to do,

Then can there be gladness that that is arising,

That understanding is arising,

Coming back to this contemplation when the mind wanders away or if it's more supportive for you,

Simply returning to the breath or the sound in your environment and resting the attention there.

And then letting go of any particular contemplation at all and just bringing the attention to the breath or to the sound in your environment,

Resting the attention.

Thanks everyone for being on the wake-up call today.

Really nice to see you.

Take good care.

Have a safe Thursday,

Good weekend.

See you next week.