Thank you everybody.
Thank you very much for who ever let me know that my sound was off.
So it's Judy Cohen.
This is Wake Up Call 504.
And if you're celebrating Yom Kippur today,
I'm wishing you the best with your contemplations and hope you're having an easy fast.
We had a ton of bounce backs today,
So I know a lot of people are out for the holiday and not online,
Which is very sweet,
But it's also sweet for me to be here.
So we've been looking at the Four Noble Truths,
The foundational teaching of mindfulness.
And the first noble truth,
Which is the truth of dukkha or suffering,
The truth that this being human includes difficulty and hard times,
That the axle of the wagon in which we're riding isn't true and it makes for a very bumpy ride,
And that that's just a feature of being human.
And then the second noble truth,
The truth of what causes suffering,
Which is believing that the axle should be true,
That the road should be smooth,
That the bumpiness shouldn't be happening.
You know,
Believing that good things shouldn't end and bad things shouldn't happen and everyone should believe what I do.
And we,
My people,
The people I love and care about,
And everybody should be exempt from old age and sickness and death.
And just in general,
That I ought to be able to upgrade my incarnation,
Right?
When I believe that,
That's when suffering happens.
When I believe those things and then cling to those beliefs and then act on them.
And when we,
Any of us do that,
We walk around with a kind of a rope burn,
A terrible rope burn on our hands,
On our hearts,
Right,
From holding on.
So that's the second noble truth,
The truth of the cause of suffering.
So here we are at the third noble truth today,
And the third noble truth is the truth of the end of suffering.
And I just want to say,
This is not the end of suffering on a systemic level,
Right?
For that,
We need other mindfulness tools,
Other understandings.
But the end of suffering on a personal level,
The third noble truth,
That's what the third noble truth addresses.
And of course,
Even though it isn't directly about helping others or ending suffering for others,
When we realize the truth of the third noble truth in our own direct experience,
It does make us better friends,
Better lovers,
Better colleagues,
Better family members,
Better leaders.
And so in that way,
It does point in the direction of ending suffering on a systemic level.
And it's simple,
Really,
But it's not easy,
Right?
The instruction of the third noble truth,
The thing we need to realize is that to stop suffering on a personal level,
We just need to let go.
So then the question,
What does that mean?
And it basically means pay attention moment to moment,
No matter what's happening and be there for what's happening.
Don't wish anything away.
Don't grab hold of anything.
Let life flow through,
Right?
Notice without reacting.
Don't add grasping and clinging to an already difficult moment.
Don't put a hat on a hat.
I love that from the Zen tradition.
And it seems like a big aspiration to me,
But there are ways to practice in low stakes situations to kind of get the hang of it.
So here are a couple that I work with.
Let's say I'm stuck in traffic.
Good one,
Because it's pretty available.
I definitely don't want there to be traffic,
But instead of getting caught up in that don't want mind,
I can investigate,
Well,
What's it like to let go of wanting the traffic to clear or of wanting to be somewhere else already,
Right?
Or I can investigate what it's like to let go of the emotional components,
The frustration with the traffic or the impatience with the traffic.
And for bonus points,
I can investigate what it's like to let go of the self-judgment that inevitably arises when I can't let go of the rest,
Right?
Judy,
Why can't you let go that you should be able to do this,
Right?
So when I can remember to let go at any of those levels,
The traffic,
First of all,
The traffic is a thousand percent easier,
Right?
And then the moment actually contains peace.
Or let's say I'm in a conflict and also a good one because it's so available,
Especially to all of us,
Right?
As lawyers,
But also those of us who are not practicing law.
So I'm in a conflict.
I also don't want to be in the conflict or I don't want to be in it right then or so much or with that person,
Right?
Any of those flavors of not wanting.
So if I remember to practice,
Right,
I can let go of wanting the conflict to not be happening or of wanting to be in a more skillful conversation,
Or maybe I can let go of even let go of wanting things to go my way or of whatever clenching is happening,
Right?
Fist,
Stomach,
Throat,
Or maybe I can let go into the conflict and just be in it and see how it feels in my body to be in the conflict.
And if I do that,
Another thing I can let go of is assuming the experience for the person I'm in conflict with is any different from my own,
Which helps me to find some compassion,
Right?
So all of that,
Or any of that really feels different and better than trying to kind of fight my way out of the box,
Right?
Which by the way,
For me is such a deeply embedded behavior from being in the law and also my family of origin.
So when I can remember to let go at any of those levels,
You know,
A few things are more likely to happen.
I've noticed better clarity and apology,
You know,
From yours truly.
Peace.
And interestingly enough,
Getting most of what I need.
So then what about when bad news happens,
Right?
The bad news is hard enough.
Not wanting the bad news makes it so much harder.
Not wanting the news,
That's what causes the suffering.
But sometimes it's just not possible to let go of not wanting the bad news or not right away.
So can we let go of wishing we could let go,
Right?
Can we let go of any judgment we might have over how well we're dealing with a situation and simply let how we're dealing be how we're dealing?
I mean,
For me,
If I can do any of that,
I'm either left with or at least closer to the actual pain and sorrow of being human right now in this body with this heart,
Which is difficult,
Difficult enough without any of the layers,
How scared I feel,
How sad I feel,
How jostled I feel on this incredibly bumpy ride.
But also there's a kind of peace in that too.
So then how to do any of this letting go?
And I love what Mark Nunberg said in a talk at the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center and he suggested that we don't need to want to let go.
There doesn't need to be that component in the letting go.
We only need to watch for the moments of grasping or clinging or not wanting things to be what they are and just watch for those moments.
And when we see them,
Watch what happens.
And Mark says,
When we see them,
We'll just naturally let go.
So feels like an interesting invitation,
Interesting practice or beautiful possibility.
Because often what I notice when I notice,
When I notice grasping and clinging and then letting go is that I'm not only letting go of something,
But I'm also letting go into something.
So it,
I might be in a difficult moment and wishing it were otherwise,
But when I let go of wishing it were otherwise,
I'm letting go into the peace that I was naming into the piece of the moment,
Even when it's a difficult one.
And that feels like a beautiful thing,
You know,
To try to remember over and over to let go,
No matter what's happening,
You know,
To let go of wanting things to slow down or speed up or be different.
To let go of not wanting the moment to feel the way it does,
Just to let go of everything and be whatever,
Be with whatever is there,
You know,
Joy,
Anger,
Celebration,
Despair.
And in doing that,
Let go into,
Into peace as a possibility and,
And as a refuge,
No matter how bumpy the ride.
Okay,
So that's it.
In your,
The posture that most supports,
Best supports stillness for you right now.
And seeing if just right from the beginning of this brief practice,
You can let go into your practice,
Just let go of anything that's alive for you in this moment and just settle into the body.
Locate the breath.
And this is probably the best playground of all,
Right?
Because thinking begins or worrying or ruminating or an emotion might arise or some sensation in the body.
And we can just practice letting it go.
And maybe as you're breathing and paying attention to the breath and noticing thoughts or emotions or sensations arising and passing,
You can notice the difference between pushing something away and just gently opening your hand or opening your heart and letting go.
And choose that,
That gentle path of letting go.
Last night,
It was Kol Nidre,
The holiest night of the year,
The Jewish calendar,
Said that the Torah,
The very,
Very first book of the Judeo-Christian everything,
Says,
Um,
In the beginning,
There was God or there was grace.
But that the actual Hebrew translation is,
In a beginning.
In a beginning,
There is grace.
So I'll leave you with that.
In a beginning.
In a beginning.
Thanks,
Everyone,
For being here.
Be safe out there.
