Beginning With Beginner’s Mind

I feel like I spend a lot of time – too much time –
thinking I understand.
Maybe we all do, even when we know
everyone’s understandings are different.

At the same time I think most of us know
there’s a lot we can’t see.
It feels helpful to keep that in mind,
and to keep an open, “don’t know” mind,
and be learning and surprised by each moment.

Because even when the surprises aren’t good,
at least we know that any moment now,
there’ll be a new moment,
or a new perspective, or a new way of seeing,
or a new message, or even a new messenger.

Transcript

Hey everyone,

It's Judy Cohen and it's The Wake Up Call and this is Wake Up Call 473.

Nice to see you all.

Last week I thought I might be away today,

But I'm here.

My partner went to LA,

But with the fires and all the chaos,

We decided I would stay.

And for everybody who's down there right now,

Wishing you safety and yeah,

Take good care.

So today I want to talk about something that I want to learn how to practice more myself,

Which is called beginner's mind.

And I kind of understand it as mostly a Zen concept,

But it really seems applicable as well to the kind of meditation that I've learned most of my life,

Vipassana insight meditation.

And it seems very applicable to mindful lawyering too.

So I thought we could maybe take a look at it today.

In the very first chapter of his very famous book,

Zen Mind,

Beginner's Mind,

Suzuki Roshi,

Who was the founder of San Francisco Zen Center says,

In the beginner's mind,

There are many possibilities,

In the experts,

There are few.

And that's a famous line and you've probably heard it.

And so what's it all about?

And in sitting with that phrase for a long time on and off,

Since I read that book,

Which was a long time ago,

But then more recently,

I've noticed a couple of things.

The way that it's possible to have beginner's mind versus expert's mind day to day in portable practice,

Meaning the way that we're practicing all of the time in our lives.

And also the way that the phrase feels like a kind of an instruction for formal practice.

And I'm guessing that's the reverse order to understanding beginner's mind.

And certainly when I'm rereading the book now,

That's the reverse order that Suzuki Roshi is teaching it in.

But I'm going to share my experience in that order,

Portable practice and then formal practice,

Because it feels it feels relatable for us as a bunch of legal professionals and lawyers and what would I say,

Lawyer adjacent,

Folks.

So on a day to day level,

For me,

It's really amusing how often I'm sure I'm right or I know what's happening in a conversation or I know what someone's going to say,

Often my partner,

None of which is true or rarely is it true.

And often.

I think that not only is it not true,

But it can put me at a disadvantage.

Which is a little counterintuitive,

Given my training as a lawyer,

Maybe all of our training as a lawyer,

But when I say none of it's true,

It's not that I'm saying I don't understand or I'm not paying attention or I don't have the knowledge or any of that.

It's more that I'm taking a kind of a hard minded approach.

You know,

My thoughts have kind of coalesced around an idea about a person or a situation.

Sometimes it feels more like I should say they've coagulated around that thing,

They've kind of like,

You know,

Stuck around that thing and there's no softness,

There's not a lot of flexibility,

There's not a lot of porosity.

Not much is getting in.

And I experienced it as a kind of a sensation as well as a state of mind,

Right?

My mind feels sharp and bright,

But tight,

Like steel trap sharp,

You know,

And brittle,

Like cut glass bright,

Right?

So that kind of sharp and bright in our family,

It's what we jokingly call often wrong,

But never in doubt.

And it's definitely what I strove for as a lawyer,

I'll say that,

You know,

Know it all,

Get everything down perfectly,

Cover the angles so that when I walked into a courtroom or conference room,

I would win,

Right?

Or I would at least outmaneuver,

I'd least impress the hell out of my client,

Right?

So it's pound the table syndrome,

Isn't it?

You know,

You all know that feeling probably.

And it can feel like the smartest,

Most advantageous state of mind because it feels unbeatable and powerful.

And so it's expert mind.

And it's,

I mean,

For those of us who get paid the big bucks,

It's why they pay us the big bucks,

But it's often just flat out not true,

Right?

So even when I'm sure and all the research and all the facts,

And even the judge agrees,

Or if there's a jury,

It's also true that nothing is static,

That everything is changing.

Even people,

Or especially people,

Are not static,

They're always changing.

The whole situation,

The whole world,

It's kind of a movable feast.

There are dimensions I'm not considering,

Maybe that no one is considering,

Maybe that no one is even able to consider.

Maybe they're moral dimensions,

Maybe they're ethical dimensions,

Maybe they're dimensions that we can't even see,

That no one can see.

But that maybe we could see,

That maybe we could consider,

If only we weren't trying to be such experts.

Which is why being an expert is not only often not very accurate,

But it's also,

For me,

I've experienced it as disadvantageous.

Being a beginner,

Having a beginner's mind in the day-to-day,

In portable practice,

For me,

Is about remembering that there are all these different dimensions to situations,

To people,

And then staying open moment-to-moment,

And also in the larger sense to whatever might be available to learn,

Keeping my senses open,

The mind,

Sure,

But also the eyes,

The ears,

The nose,

The mouth,

The sense in the body,

That spidey sense of something being just right or not right at all,

Or of something new that wants to be learned or heard or said,

Right?

And when I can remember to do that,

When,

I can sometimes see or at least catch glimpses of things I hadn't considered.

You know,

The mind of someone who greets each moment and each client and each twist and turn of a case or matter,

And also each thing that feels like a fact with openness,

With don't-knowness,

That's the mind of a beginner.

And beginner's mind in the day-to-day,

In portable practice,

It feels like my body is open as well,

Open and curious and relaxed,

Kind of loose,

Right?

Available to learn,

Available to be proved wrong and glad for that,

Available to maybe see a different truth,

Even available to not know,

Even available to have no idea what's true,

And I know there's almost an anathema to that and being a lawyer,

Right?

But it feels great.

It really feels great.

And I guess I would say if you haven't tried it,

I recommend it.

As an instruction for formal practice,

Beginner's mind feels like observing each moment as it arises,

Moment by moment,

With courage,

With grace,

Without wanting it to be anything more than it is,

But also without getting swept away by it.

So when a smell arises,

Noticing a smell without appending a story to it,

Like,

Oh,

Are they making oatmeal?

Great.

I love oatmeal.

Or,

Oh,

We just had oatmeal yesterday,

Right?

Or when a thought arises,

Oh,

Thinking is happening,

Or I'm having a thought that it's windy again today,

Which means fire danger,

And simply knowing that as a thought.

So being an expert,

Having expert's mind on the cushion for me is about thinking.

I have any idea what I'm doing on the cushion,

Right?

Thinking,

Oh,

I'm doing well.

I'm following my thoughts,

Or,

Oh,

I understand this,

Or,

Oh,

I can explain this,

Which I think ironically raises the question of what I'm even doing here,

Trying to explain this,

But here's what Suzuki Roshi says.

He says,

In the beginner's mind,

There is no thought I have attained something.

He says,

When we have no thought of achievement,

No thought of self,

We are true beginners,

Then we can really learn something,

And I guess the last thing I'll say about this is if there was ever a good suggestion for our times,

Right,

For the way the world feels right now,

For how to be with so much disinformation and misinformation and so many alarming messages and events,

It feels like it's that one,

To have no thought of achievement,

No thought of self,

And just to be beginners,

And also to work as hard as we can for justice and equity and compassion and love,

For sure,

But to do that as beginners.

Okay,

So let's sit,

And maybe we'll be able to see these two ways of being.

Maybe they'll both arise all in our one little sit.

So finding your posture,

Whatever posture will most support you right now,

Today,

And first just dropping into the body,

Feeling the sense of the body,

Sitting,

Standing,

Walking,

Floating,

If that's what you happen to be doing,

And then bring the attention to the breath in the body,

Just the way that the breath is flowing in and out of the body,

And just being in the experience of breathing,

Is it possible to just rest in that experience,

And is there an inclination of the mind to want to understand the experience or categorize it or explain it to ourselves or congratulate ourselves for following the breath,

Being with the breath?

Kind of an expert mind,

Or is there a way that we can just let go of that,

If it arises,

And just be with the body breathing?

And just again,

If that knowing what I'm doing mind arises,

Or I'm doing so well here arises,

Or I'm not doing very well,

Or,

You know,

That whole sort of conversation about I,

Me,

Mine arises,

Can we just set it down,

Just for the brief space of the rest of the time we're sitting together and just breathe,

Just be humans being.

May all beings be safe,

Everyone in LA and all beings,

Everywhere who are impacted by climate change and political upheaval,

May all beings be safe.

Thanks everyone for coming to the wake up call and for your practice.

Take care,

Be really safe,

Wherever you are.

I see a few people in LA.

See you next week.