Appreciating Slothfulness

Sometimes I have an endless supply of energy. But there are also times when 
my mind is sluggish, not bright. Life feels exhausting or boring or blah. Does this happen for you?



The good thing is, when I turn my attention to the blah feeling itself, my mind wakes up. 
I can see how sluggish I feel, but I can also see that it’s temporary, and even get interested in it, as yet another fascinating state of mind. 



When all of this happens, I also try to appreciate (with varying degrees of success)
what the situation offers: a simple, powerful reminder to pay attention in each moment, 
even the slothful ones. 



That appreciation, when it’s available, along with the attention when it’s available, seems to brighten the whole mind.

Transcript

Hello,

It's Judy,

And this is Wake Up Call 469.

And so here we are in the full swing of the holidays,

For better or worse.

And if you occasionally feel something other than overwhelming joy and enthusiasm,

Or maybe I should say,

If you sometimes want to hide under the covers,

It could at least partly be the hindrance of sloth and torpor,

And that's what we're going to talk about today.

So the five hindrances,

Again,

Are desire,

Aversion,

Sloth and torpor,

And rest,

That's a pair,

And we're going to talk about that today,

And then restlessness and worry,

Which is another pair,

And I'll say something about that next week,

And then doubt.

And these states of mind or states of heart,

These are what get in the way of clarity,

Right?

They are what get in the way of us courageously turning towards whatever we're experiencing and bringing compassion to whatever that is.

So one way to think about this hindrance of sloth and torpor is that sloth is a kind of sensation in the body,

And it's like not being able to move,

Kind of an ennui,

If you will,

And torpor is in the mind.

It's kind of a fuzziness in the mind,

So not being able to think clearly or not being able to pay attention.

So they're not like being tired in a good way.

They're when it feels impossible to summon the energy or the interest to pay attention,

Or they feel like resistance to paying attention,

Right?

So they're a kind of weariness.

I feel defeated.

I just don't care.

They're described in the text as a mind full of algae,

Moss,

Slime,

Kind of stagnant,

Not moving,

Not alive,

Not energized,

And then with a body to match.

So sometimes they arise because of the situation.

Sitting on the cushion,

The breath simply doesn't hold our attention,

Or it feels boring,

And the mind slides away into fantasy or memory.

There's energy somewhere,

But it's not here,

Not right here,

Right?

And then the bell rings,

And it's time to get going,

And suddenly we have all the energy in the world,

Right?

So there's energy,

But it's just not energy for the practice.

Or at work,

For me,

Sloth and torpor would show up because I'd be reading these long form industrial leases,

And my one millionth jurisdiction and venue clause,

The mind would just collapse,

Right?

And my body would literally slide down into the chair,

And I would barely be able to drag my eyes across the page.

And that was the situation,

And then a friend would call,

And suddenly I'd be right there full of energy to chat or commiserate or whatever.

And so sometimes sloth and torpor arise out of a situation,

But sometimes they arise out of an attitude,

You know,

The mind telling us a story.

So maybe the story is that we can't read one more line,

We can't watch one more breath,

We can't do it.

And that's the mind saying,

I can't do it.

And so the mind goes to kind of mush,

Or sometimes sloth and torpor are a cover.

An emotion comes up or something we've buried deep inside,

And it's too much.

We can't attend to it,

So we take a nap,

Either literally or figuratively.

Or sloth and torpor can arise when we think we feel bored,

Or we think that whatever is happening isn't worth our attention,

Or whoever is talking isn't worth our attention.

You know,

I've heard this before,

This conversation isn't getting me anywhere,

Right?

And then the mind just,

Again,

Goes into the soup.

And maybe this one is familiar too,

Sloth and torpor can arise when we're used to a lot of stimulation,

Right?

Like when we're practicing law,

And then there's a lull.

You know,

That habit of high stakes,

Fast paced work,

And then suddenly everything is quiet,

And the mind doesn't know what to do with that.

And so it kind of melts away.

So in two of those situations,

I just want to say it's good to be respectful of what's happening,

I mean,

It's good to be respectful of what's happening no matter what.

But when deep exhaustion is present,

And it's not the good kind of tired,

When you've either done a great workout or worked a hard productive day,

Listen to the body.

The body may need sleep.

Maybe you're sleep deprived in the moment or long term.

Lots of lawyers tell me they have long term sleep deprivation.

I have some of that myself.

And when it shows up,

It may not be a hindrance,

It might be the body just saying,

You need to rest.

So that's where,

You know,

Compassion is really important and we should rest.

So when exhaustion is real and not a hindrance,

And also when the mind slides away from something that surfaces during meditation or in an ordinary moment during the day,

And whatever we're facing is just too much.

It's good to respect that too,

You know,

Eventually,

Whether through practice or with a therapist,

We can unpack those things.

And the mind sliding away when something initially arises or arises again,

Can be a signal to take care,

To be very self-compassionate and to respect that the mind isn't ready to attend to whatever has come up or can't do that alone.

So but for good old sloth and torpor,

Right,

The hindrance itself,

The antidote,

Mindfulness,

Right?

That quality of mind that's attentive in the moment,

Right?

That's noticing what's happening.

I'm trying to turn this off.

With curiosity.

I'm going to mute you all again.

Or if you can mute yourselves,

I'll do a setting later so that you come in muted.

Anyway,

So for good old sloth and torpor,

You know,

Mindfulness is that antidote.

It's that quality that's attentive in the moment,

That's noticing what's happening with curiosity,

With grace,

Without trying to change it,

Without even wishing it would change,

You know,

Taking a moment to check in with the body,

Check in with the mind,

See what's happening.

Name that.

Yeah,

That's sloth and torpor.

That's a sluggishness that's just happening.

And then remember Gil's process of Bella,

Gil Fransdell's process of Bella.

Be with it.

Examine it.

Let it lessen or loosen its hold.

Let it be.

And also appreciate it.

Meaning,

Appreciate that sloth and torpor are present and that mindfulness is strong enough to see that.

Right?

Because that's the thing about mindfulness is that we turn towards our practice.

Even when we're sitting on our cushion,

We may just be spaced out and we turn towards.

Oh,

Wait a minute.

I can use my mindfulness in this moment to look at what's going on.

Oh,

I can see it's just sloth and torpor.

Right?

And the process alone,

In my experience,

Brings up some energy and points me back to the present moment and away from that sinking feeling,

You know.

So you can check this out.

You can turn towards and you can see how sluggish the mind is.

But in the seeing,

See if there's some energy.

Right?

By turning towards it and not away from it.

By waking up to what's happening and really kind of getting into it.

Oh,

Here's how sloth and torpor feel.

Here's maybe the situation that caused them to come about.

Or I bet that's the thought.

Or that's the experience.

Or that's the old habit that activated them.

And I want to get to know them and examine them and get interested in them.

It can actually be a fun thing to do.

But it does require one particular attitude,

Which is an attitude of love.

Because the hindrances are gonna arise.

Right?

They just are.

Yeah.

Not because we do something wrong or we deserve them or we fail to figure out how to keep them at bay.

They're just going to arise because they are part of how this human mind rolls.

Right?

And no one's exempt.

There's not a get out of the hindrances free card.

Right?

But what we can exempt ourselves from is getting swallowed by.

You know,

Getting swallowed by greed.

Like living with the sense that there isn't enough.

I don't have enough or I am not enough.

Or getting swallowed by anger.

Like being reactive and blaming others because the world isn't what I want it to be.

Or blaming myself because if only I was smart enough to know how to exercise my magical powers to make everything perfect,

Then it would be.

Right?

Or getting swallowed up by sloth and torpor.

Like the texts say,

You know,

I'm mindful of algae,

Moss,

Slime,

Stagnant,

Not moving,

Not alive,

Energized.

So it's always the same,

Right?

Simple and not easy.

As with all of the other mindfulness practices,

When sloth and torpor are present,

The invitation is to pay attention.

To be with them as friends.

With love.

You know,

To loosen our grip and just let them be.

And ultimately,

Yeah,

To appreciate that the mind can do all of that.

Right?

And yeah,

To appreciate the power of mindfulness.

Okay.

So let's sit.

So finding a comfortable posture that is upright and will support you right now in this moment.

Dropping into the body.

Just letting the attention drop into the body.

Almost like letting go of everything you're carrying and just letting the attention drop straight into the body.

Letting the mind relax,

If that's available.

Letting go of any effort,

Any investigation,

Anything at all.

Just letting go and locating the breath.

And just riding the waves of the breath.

And as you do that,

Beginning to turn the attention more closely to the body and how is the body feeling?

What's present in the body?

Is there exhaustion?

Could be.

Or is there a kind of slothfulness,

A kind of inability to energize the body?

Like,

Is the body beginning to slump as you're sitting?

Just in this very sit.

And if so,

Can you just be with it?

And maybe breathe a little energy into it.

Very gently breathe some energy into the body.

And how about the mind?

Can we bring our mindfulness to what's going on in these beautiful minds that we have?

And can we look without any criticism or judgment or anything at all and just see,

Is the mind bright and awake?

Or is there a sluggishness?

If there is a sluggishness,

I mean,

Don't call it up if it's not there.

But if it's there,

What changes when you turn your attention to it?

When you get interested in it as a quality of mind?

For the last minute of our sit together,

Just really appreciating this practice that we have,

This ability that we have to bring mindfulness to whatever is happening.

And if there are hindrances present for you,

Appreciating that you can see them.

Pretty amazing.

Thanks everyone for being here on the wake up call today.

Have a safe day,

A good day and a safe day and a nice weekend.

And I will see you next Thursday.