Loving-Kindness - Maitri, Brahmavihara Series

Maitri means loving-kindness or unconditional friendliness. Our hearts are always fundamentally open. They’re just covered up sometimes by doubt, hesitation, fear, anxiety, and all kinds of self-protective habitual patterns. This practice of opening the heart is based on exploring and reversing some of these patterns and moving towards an inclusive, unconditional love - a love with wisdom.

Transcript

Namaskar.

My name is Sameena Familkar.

Welcome to the series on the Brahma Viharas.

For those of you who are joining me for the first time today,

I am going to leave a link to the introduction in the description box.

So today we are going to be doing the first Brahma Vihara which is Maitri or loving kindness,

Also unconditional kindliness.

Now what is Maitri?

So our hearts are fundamentally open.

That's our default setting.

But along the way we collect a lot of garbage,

We cover our hearts with fear,

Doubts,

Anxieties.

These are all self protective behaviour,

These are all self protective attitudes.

We try to protect ourselves from the hurts that we think the world gives us.

And so our hearts are closed.

In a physical form it leads to a constriction of our hearts,

Leads to lesser blood flow.

In a more metaphysical way we say there is less prana,

Less flailing in our heart.

But it is possible to open our hearts up to the world.

And practices like the one I will be sharing with you today are a big help.

Like any other skill this one also will need to be practiced.

So let us jump into this practice right away.

The practice is on Maitri,

Loving kindness and we are looking at how we can open our hearts and have better relationships,

Better connections and be happier.

So please settle down in a comfortable position and close your eyes and listen to my voice as it guides you through this meditation.

Find a comfortable position in which to sit for this period.

As you allow your eyes to gently close,

Tune into the body and make any adjustments that you need to make.

It will be helpful to remember our intentions of both ease and awareness.

So sit in your way that feels comfortable and yet alert.

We will start with a few minutes of concentration practice just to help our minds settle and arrive in our present time experience.

As you allow the body to resume natural breathing,

I want you to please see where can you feel the breath in your body.

As you breathe in and out.

Breathe in and out.

Breathe in and out.

Maybe you feel your breath in the abdomen where you can feel it rising and falling with each breath.

Maybe in the chest where you can notice the expansion and contraction as you inhale and exhale.

Or perhaps you feel it in your nostrils.

There is a little tickle as the air goes in and then a subtle warmth as it comes out when you exhale.

So pick any one spot in your body for this meditation practice where you will feel your breath.

So at any point of time in this practice if you feel your mind wandering I want you to bring it back to that part.

Try and stay with your breath all the way as you inhale and exhale.

Of course the mind will wander and that's okay because every time the mind wanders it gives us an opportunity to cultivate mindfulness and concentration.

Every time you notice that your mind is somewhere else you strengthen the ability to bring it back and every time you bring it back that neural pathway of awareness just gets stronger and stronger.

So treat this as an opportunity rather than a problem and keep returning to your breath.

If you go to sleep as I talk it doesn't matter.

Some part of you is always listening.

I am talking to that part of you.

So if we begin the practice by bringing to mind ourselves as we sit here right now and connecting to our own deepest intentions or happiness and ease and safety.

You don't have to jump into the story of what makes you happy.

Just connect with the natural desire that we all have to feel happy.

Anything we do in our lives we do it because we want to be happy.

Seeking happiness is so primal to all of us.

In this practice we will be cultivating loving kindness.

In this practice we will be cultivating loving kindness.

We all have within us this natural capacity for loving kindness or unconditional friendship that is open and gentle and supportive.

It's the natural opening of a compassionate heart to ourselves and to others.

It's a wish that everyone should be happy.

So we begin with developing this towards ourselves allowing our hearts to open with tenderness.

Starting with this Maitri for yourself try and remember and open up to your own basic goodness.

I want you to think back to the times that you have been kind or generous when you helped someone,

When you gave someone strength or acceptance.

We all have had times when we've done something for someone else,

We've given someone else happiness or joy.

I want you to try and remember a time like that.

If acknowledging your own goodness is difficult for you,

Look at yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you.

What does that person love about you?

Or you may recall the unconditional love that you have experienced from a child or a beloved pet and notice the feelings of love that you feel for yourself.

Try and notice how these feelings of love feel within your own body.

Does it make you feel warm and tingly?

Does it bring some heat in your face?

Do you smile?

Do you feel a sense of expansiveness,

Openness perhaps?

This feeling that you are accessing right now is loving kindness.

This loving kindness is a natural feeling that is always there within you.

I want you to rest in this feeling of open and unconditional love for yourself for a few moments,

Breathing it in and breathing it out,

Inviting feelings of peace and acceptance for yourself.

And saying these phrases for yourself in your heart,

In your heart,

May I be filled with loving kindness,

May I be held in loving kindness,

May I feel connected and calm,

May I accept myself just as I am,

May I be happy,

May I know the natural joy of being alive.

Now let's repeat these words for ourselves once more.

So important that we feel this for ourselves,

So important that we set the intention of offering loving kindness to ourselves.

So one more time with me,

May I be filled with loving kindness,

May I be held in loving kindness,

May I feel connected and calm,

May I accept myself just as I am,

May I be happy,

May I know the natural joy of being alive.

Now open this circle of Maitri and bring to your mind someone who is very dear to you,

Someone you care about,

Someone who has always been supportive of you.

Think about this person's basic goodness.

What is it that you love about this person?

And with your breath in your heart,

I want you to feel love and appreciation for this person.

You're overflowing with love and joy and gratitude when you think of this person.

And in your heart offer these phrases to this person,

This person you really love.

May you be filled with loving kindness,

May you be held in loving kindness.

May you accept yourself as you are,

May you be happy,

May you know the natural joy of being alive.

And that is my wish for you.

Now bring to mind a neutral person.

This is someone you might see regularly but you don't have good or bad feelings for this person.

This could be a neighbour,

A colleague,

A distant relative,

Your sab jeevala,

A security guard,

Somebody neutral.

Now bring this person to mind and let's repeat those same phrases for this person now.

May you be filled with loving kindness,

May you be held in loving kindness.

May you feel my love now,

May you accept yourself just as you are,

May you be happy,

And may you know the natural joy of being alive.

Now if it's possible for you,

Bring to mind someone with whom you've had a difficult relationship.

Make sure that you are happy,

That you are happy,

That you are happy,

That you are happy,

That you are happy,

That you are happy,

And bring to mind someone with whom you've had a difficult relationship.

Perhaps this is someone for whom you don't feel any sympathy,

You don't feel any compassion.

This person has harmed you,

This person has not been good to you.

And if it's possible,

Try to release these feelings of resentment and dislike that you have for this person.

Try to remember that this person is also a whole being,

He's also deserving of love and kindness.

This person also feels pain and anxiety.

This person also suffers,

And like you,

This person is also motivated to seek happiness and joy in their lives.

Maybe that joy is missing,

And maybe that's why this person does what he or she does.

And see if you can extend these words of loving kindness to this person also.

May you be filled with loving kindness.

May you be held in loving kindness.

May you feel my love now.

May you accept yourself just as you are.

May you be happy.

And may you know the natural joy of being alive.

And releasing a huge breath.

Let's now move to extending your breath.

A huge breath.

Let's now move to extending this Maitri,

This loving kindness to the whole world in all directions.

To ourselves,

To our dear ones,

To people we don't know,

To people we don't like,

To all human beings and animals alike.

Living everywhere.

Living in richness or in poverty.

Living in war or in peace.

Living in hunger or in abundance.

Aware of all the joys and sorrows that they may experience and sending out loving kindness,

Maitri,

To all of them.

May all beings be filled with loving kindness.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings awaken and be free.

May all beings be happy.

I want you to stay for a few moments in this space of loving kindness for all living beings,

Feeling that vibration,

That energy that you're sending out to the world.

This is how we heal the world one person at a time.

This is how we heal ourselves when we free ourselves from all that we are holding inside us,

All that is holding us back.

And letting it all go out in forms,

In ways of loving kindness.

Now bringing this practice to a close by paying attention to this beautiful poem by my favourite poet Rumi.

The light streams towards you from all things,

All people,

All possible permutations of good,

Evil,

Thought,

Passion.

The lamps are different but the light is the same.

One matter,

One energy,

One light,

One light mind,

Endlessly emanating from all things,

One turning and burning diamond,

One,

One,

One.

Ground yourself,

Strip yourself down to blind loving silence.

Stay there until you see you're gazing at the light with its own ageless light.

The lamps are different but the light is the same.

Sitting for a while,

Basking in the energy of this loving kindness and letting the words of Rumi resonate within us.

The lamps are different but the light is the same.

Feeling filled with this loving kindness that you've generated here today,

I want you to bring your intention,

Your focus back to your breath and to your physical surroundings.

Breathing in and out,

Being grateful for this beautiful practice,

Being grateful for doing what we have done today.

You've shifted a little and for that we are grateful.

And whenever you're ready,

Open your eyes.

Thank you for meditating with me.

Reviews

Wow! Beautiful practice. Namaste 🙏