Empathetic Joy - Mudita, Brahmavihara Series

Why is being happy for another often so challenging? Maybe because we feel we are already somehow missing out on life. So if someone else has good news, we may consciously or subconsciously compare ourselves to them and feel envious, no matter how sincere our intentions are. This meditation helps you set the intention to be more open to joy and to cultivate it through repeated and patient practice.

Transcript

Namaskar.

I am Samira Kamulka.

Welcome to the third part in the Brahma Vihara series.

For those of you who are joining me for the first time today,

You can see the previous videos links in the description.

So today we are going to be talking about mudita.

I will also take you through a guided practice about mudita.

Mudita means empathetic joy.

So imagine you've just received news about something that you've wanted,

Some happy news.

What is the first thing you do?

You want to pick up the phone and call somebody you really love and share that happy news.

And it's because joy when it is shared is double.

Pain when it is shared is hal.

So similarly joy is meant to be shared.

That's what mudita really means.

Empathetic joy.

But when we hear about good news from someone else,

So if you hear about somebody else getting a promotion or to see somebody else getting a new car,

How happy are you really feeling from inside?

Let's be honest,

It is a small iota of,

I should have got that.

Why do we feel that way?

I think we feel that way because we think happiness is a very scarce resource.

There's only so much to go around and if somebody else has got it then there's not enough left for me.

So everybody wants a little piece of that happiness.

As human beings we find it really hard to feel and absolutely feel happy for someone else and hence maybe more empathetic joy.

So Sharon Salzberg says that the anger that we hold about other people,

The grudges,

The resentments,

They all come from a space of not being able to share joy selflessly,

Partake of their joy selflessly.

So we really find it hard to praise someone or to actually genuinely show from our hearts how happy we are for somebody or someone else and we hide that behind snarkiness,

Behind sarcasm.

All in all,

I think it's time we opened our hearts out to really and truly be happy for other people,

Really share,

Partake of their joy.

You know the Dalai Lama says that there are six billion people in the world so there are six billion reasons for us to be happy.

The odds are great.

So hudita or joy like any other Brahma Vihara needs to be practiced.

So let's just jump right into it.

Please settle down in a comfortable position.

Close your eyes as I lead you through this guided meditation.

Alright so let's get into the practice.

Sit with a straight back,

Your head held erect on your neck and shoulders and allowing the shoulders to fully relax.

Place your hands on your knees or in your lap,

Whatever you're comfortable with.

Allowing your eyes to gently close and take a slow deep breath to bring yourself to the present moment and begin the feeling of being more peaceful and more centered.

Breathe into the belly so it expands as you breathe in and contracts as you breathe out.

Breathing in and out.

And in and out.

Imagine the path of your breath travelling into and out of your body.

As it comes in it warms your body flowing through your nose,

Down your throat,

Into your lungs.

You can imagine it flowing down into your stomach,

Your pelvis radiating through all your limbs all the way to the tips of your fingers and the toes.

Your breath travels through your body and as you breathe out takes any tension that it finds in your body.

So as you breathe in the warmth goes to every little cell and as you breathe out it releases any tension,

Any tightness in your body.

Like a warm ocean,

Like the waves your breath brings in relaxation and takes away tension.

Feel these waves for a few moments.

Now take a moment to mentally scan your body for any areas where there is tightness or tension or soreness and breathe your warm oxygen filled breath into that area.

And as you breathe out let the tension release breathing it out.

With every breath that area in your body is becoming more and more relaxed.

Now notice any worries or fear,

Anger or irritation or judgement,

Any residual feeling from the day and just breathe into those emotions and allow them to flow out with your out breath.

Breathe in and out.

Breathing in and out.

Now any thoughts or memories or plans or associations anything that's going on in your mind right now,

Anything other than just being here,

Just breathe into those thoughts and as you breathe out allow them to flow out with your breath.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Allowing the body to be still and sitting with a sense of dignity,

A sense of resolve,

A sense of being complete,

Whole in this moment and your posture reflecting this wholeness.

And set the intention that for the next few minutes we will focus on development of empathetic joy or mudita.

First let us begin by contemplating the nature of joy.

What is joy?

Joy is an uplifted state of the heart.

Physically it feels light,

It feels buoyant,

It feels energetic.

Whether it is in company of someone or it is in solitude.

The nature of joy is a cheerful heart.

Joy is the exact opposite of feeling heavy hearted or miserable.

It is also the opposite of feeling despair or feeling cynical.

Joy is an uplifted sense of well being and it arises from the effort associated with meditation so often the deepest sense of joy we feel,

The deepest feeling of joy that we experience comes from the calmness and the insight of meditation.

Sometimes reflecting on your own actions gives you joy.

Sometimes when you think of the generosity and kindness of others it gives you joy.

Now think of someone you love,

Someone whose character you genuinely admire and fully visualizing this person's presence,

Relax into it.

Conjure up memories of them at their best.

Remember,

Imagine all that they do that makes them so special for you.

All that they are that makes them so special for you.

Remember all that they have done,

Perhaps you shared a meal together or perhaps you just sat in silence together with each other.

Or perhaps they have been so generous with you,

They have given you all their time,

Their energy of themselves to you.

Whatever it is,

Just visualize them at their best.

Maybe they have helped you through a difficult situation,

Maybe they have helped someone else through a difficult situation.

Bringing this person's goodness into your heart.

Put a hand on your heart and say,

I am so happy I know you.

Your kindness inspires me.

Your goodness is my guide.

Let's repeat this once again in our minds.

I am so happy I know you.

Your kindness inspires me.

Your goodness is my guide.

Take a moment or two to bask in these beautiful warm feelings that you feel for them.

People like these are beacons of light.

They give us hope.

They give us love.

And once again with your hand on your heart,

In your minds send blessings their way.

May you be joyful.

May your happiness increase.

May you not be separated from great happiness.

May your good fortune and the causes for your joy and happiness always increase.

Now sense the empathetic joy and the caring in each other.

As you say these praises to them in your heart,

You feel so joyous,

So light too.

Let's repeat them once again.

May you be joyful.

May your happiness increase.

May you not be separated from great happiness.

And may your good fortune and the causes for your joy and happiness always increase.

So it is.

Now bring to mind an image of yourself at your best.

Try and remember something that you did that made someone else smile.

May be you did it as a child.

May be you made a beautiful card for your teacher on teacher's day.

Or may be you stood up for a classmate.

Or may be you helped your mother in the kitchen or with the chores.

Try and remember something that you do even now.

May be you helped your neighbour when someone in her family was ill.

May be you helped a relative,

A friend.

Once you generate some warmth for yourself in your heart at this memory,

Stay in that for a few moments.

We all do good and we all do good all the time.

We just don't remember it.

We just don't realise it.

Recreate those circumstances vividly in your mind and find delight in your own goodness.

And now offer the blessings of joy to yourself.

With your hand on your heart may I be joyful.

May my happiness increase.

May I not be separated from great happiness.

May my good fortune and the causes for joy and happiness increase.

So beautiful to be able to wish happiness for your own self.

And so important.

We wish happiness for others but we rarely wish happiness for our own selves.

We hide.

We hide from praise.

We hide from any goodness that comes our way.

Let's wish ourselves well too.

Let's do this once again.

May I be joyful.

May my happiness increase.

May I not be separated from great happiness.

And may my good fortune and the causes for joy and happiness always increase.

Stay in that for a few seconds.

Now we move to the difficult part.

Bring to mind someone with whom you don't see eye to eye.

Perhaps there's been an argument.

Perhaps you just rub each other the wrong way.

Just brush that away gently and try and think of them as performing a kind action however small.

Maybe they are good with children.

Maybe they are very good with pets or animals.

Or maybe they grow beautiful plants and are very loving plant parents.

See if you can celebrate their loving instinct even for a moment.

And thank them for their kindness towards others that they are doing.

And it's okay if you can't think of anything good that they did.

We will still wish them joy because that is the magic of mudita.

Of empathetic joy.

To find joy in the joy of others.

So with your hand on your heart say to this person.

May you be joyful.

May your happiness increase.

May you not be separated from great happiness.

May your good fortune and the causes for your joy and happiness always increase.

Now just bring your attention to your heart for a moment and see how it's feeling right now.

The warm feelings that have been generated through this meditation.

Through the love that you have given to the people you love.

To yourself and to people that you may not like too much.

There is an expansion.

There is a lightness.

There is a buoyancy that you feel in your heart right now with this outpouring of joy that you have gone through.

The joy that is still overflowing as I speak these words.

Now extend this joy towards all the beings everywhere in the world.

Imagine that the joy that you send out is like a blanket.

A cozy blanket that covers this whole world and all sentient beings in it.

And with your hand on your heart listen to my words and repeat in your own mind.

Everyone's joy is my joy.

May their joy continue.

May their joy continue to grow and develop.

May the successes that they have created continue to be created.

And their joy continue to flourish and thrive.

May the seeds of joy in my heart be nourished by the joy in their heart.

And let my heart resonate with their joy.

May my heart be filled with blessings of joy for the world.

May I continue to do that which is wholesome and by doing so bring lightness and joy that radiates from my heart.

May I always be open to the genuine joys of others.

May I be able to tune in to the genuine happiness of others.

May I enjoy the success of others.

May their joy continue.

Everyone's joy is my joy.

And may my heart be filled with blessings of joy for the world.

May the seeds of joy in my heart be nourished by the joy of others.

Feeling these words through every pore of your body,

The warmth in your heart.

Just experience that joy that you feel for the world for a few seconds.

This is Mudita.

This is empathetic joy.

And as I come to the close of this meditation,

I want you to listen to the words of my favourite Sufi poet Hafiz.

He says,

Bring your cup near me for I am a sweet old vagabond with an infinite leaking barrel of light and laughter and truth that the beloved has tied to my back.

Dear one,

Indeed please bring your heart near me for all I care about is quenching your thirst for freedom.

Because all a sane man can ever care about is giving love.

All a sane man can ever care about is giving love.

And let these words of Hafiz stay with you as you bring your attention back to your breath.

Watching it as it flows in and out in a state of joy,

In a state of Mudita.

Slowly become aware of your surroundings.

Bring your attention back to the present moment.

And as you gently open your eyes,

Set the intention to notice joy and goodness throughout the day.

To spread joy and goodness throughout the day.

To enjoy other people's joy and goodness throughout the day.

And so it is.

And so it is.

And so it is.

Thank you for meditating with me.

This concludes the third part of the Brahmavihara series.

The next part will be coming up on my channel shortly.

I'd love to hear from you as always.

Leave a comment,

Write in.

I look forward to having a conversation with you.

Till then,

I send you joy and love and lightness always.