What I'm experiencing right now has its roots in trauma.
I don't like that trauma triggers can show up with absolutely no notice.
I don't like these inner feelings of panic,
Defensiveness,
Powerlessness.
It's such a mixed bag of feelings right now.
My heart is racing,
I'm feeling shaky,
I don't feel grounded or centered at all.
Though these thoughts are here,
Though these sensations are here,
I am not my thoughts.
I am not this experience.
I am dealing with the thoughts.
I am dealing with the sensations.
I am in the driver's seat right now.
I take the time to orient myself.
I acknowledge what day it is.
I acknowledge what time it is.
I acknowledge the address where I'm at right now.
I acknowledge how old I am.
And right now it's time to slow down.
Every breath has me more in my body.
I feel my feet.
I tap my feet.
With each tap,
I feel myself more grounded and centered in my body.
I touch my stomach,
Feeling it expand with each inhale,
And come down with each exhale,
Continuing the deep breaths,
Stepping into a space of self-compassion,
Remembering that trauma recovery is not neat and tidy.
It's me finding and using ways to cope with the fear,
To cope with the pain.
I know sometimes I wish I never have to deal with this again.
And maybe there will be that day.
But until then,
I will continue my healing and continue the management of trauma triggers.
I am familiar with the pain that's beneath the surface.
I understand why my body reacts this way.
I also understand that I can create time and space to take care of my body,
Just as I would if I was having an allergic reaction to something.
I bring myself to a place of clarity.
Clarity is in me.
I am shifting from feeling out of place and not myself,
Back to being settled and simply no longer triggered.
I am re-establishing my ground.
I am coming back to safety.
I picture myself in the place of peace,
Clarity,
And safety.
And now I move into the place of peace,
Clarity,
And safety.
I am moving through to where the triggered feelings are behind me.
It's all an echo that's getting softer and softer.
I am doing the work.
I am taking care of myself.
I am helping myself.
I am giving myself the skills and the practice to manage any trauma trigger that may come my way.
I am in myself.
I am owning the present moment.
I am filling myself with healing.