I'd like to start today with a quote from Epictetus.
He says,
For every challenge,
Remember the resources you have within you to cope with it.
Provoked by the sight of a handsome man or a beautiful woman,
You will discover within you the contrary power of self-restraint.
Faced with pain,
You will discover the power of endurance.
If you are insulted,
You will discover patience.
In time,
You will grow to be confident that there is not a single impression that you will not have the moral means to tolerate.
End quote.
Epictetus here is explaining that whenever we get confronted with a challenge or an obstacle or a temptation,
There is little need to worry.
In fact,
There is reason to celebrate if your goal is to develop excellence of character or wisdom.
Because how could you possibly develop excellence of character?
How could you possibly meet your potential as a human being?
If you lived without challenge,
We know that to build strong muscles,
We have to train them to break them down and then when they repair,
They come back stronger.
We know that to overcome anxiety,
We have to lean into our anxiety,
Which in other words means make ourselves slightly more anxious so that we can tolerate it more and more.
We know that the only way to build discipline is to build discipline by systematically abstaining from more and more things until it becomes easy and automatic.
We also understand that when we watch a movie,
We need to see our favorite characters go through obstacles and stresses and setbacks because these challenges show us who they really are.
Someone could tell you that they are the nicest person in the world.
They could tell you that they believe in God and they want to live according to God's wishes.
They will tell you that they're a philanthropist and they will do anything to reduce the suffering of other people.
In fact,
They will give their life to save others.
Easy to say,
How can we believe them?
Well,
If you want to know what someone believes,
You don't look at what they say,
You look at how they act and so the true character will always be revealed under pressure.
If that person was walking past a burning building and a child was inside,
How would they respond?
If they saw someone getting bullied,
How would they respond?
Typically,
We don't call someone heroic because they claim to have good traits.
We call someone heroic because they exhibit those traits under pressure.
In stoicism,
When we face a challenge,
Instead of seeing it as something that knocks us back,
Something that we can then claim to be a victim because we've encountered it,
We now see it as a training device to practice acting in the world with more virtue,
With more courage,
With more temperance,
With more practical wisdom.
The view here is that nature has equipped you with the ability,
The inner resources to deal with whatever happens.
But you have to trust it,
You have to recognize that and you have to let this inner resource,
This inner toolkit come forth.
So the next time a challenge comes your way,
See it as a gift,
As the perfect opportunity for you to practice virtue.
If you are struggling with desire,
Perhaps you have a pornography addiction,
Right?
That's a classic one in the modern world.
Or perhaps you are overeating,
Perhaps you're spending too much time on social media.
When the trigger comes up that tells you to engage,
You have two options.
Option A is the lust or the desire and option B is the self-restraint.
You are presented,
In other words,
With two paths.
And whichever one you go down will become stronger.
But it's worth remembering that when you are confronted with this trigger,
It is not only lust or desire that shows up,
It is also discipline.
It's there for you to take if you want to.
And the same is true with pain.
When you get hurt or when you get sick,
You have a choice.
Will I be a victim or will I practice endurance?
Both weakness and strength are within you as they are within all of us.
Which do you choose?
And the same is true when dealing with difficult toxic individuals.
You receive an insult.
This is an opportunity for you to be angry and for you to lash out.
But it's also an opportunity for you to practice tolerance and patience and assertiveness.
I'd like you to start seeing the world like this.
Whenever you encounter something that's difficult,
Ask yourself,
What opportunity for building my character is within this?
There are two paths,
Temptation and opportunity.
One is a path of vice,
The other is a path of virtue.
Whichever one you choose the most will be the one you will be more likely to choose in the future.
But the good news is you can always start again and always make a new choice.
So make that choice today.
