7 Ways To Cultivate Inner Peace

Enjoy this uplifting, at times comedic, and heart warming talk on 7 things we can turn away from to live the most joyful, free, creative, harmonious lives possible! Recorded at the Unity Center of Cedar Rapids, IA in August of 2019 as the third week of his 4 week program.

Transcript

Well,

Some predicted by the third week of my being here that the room would be empty.

So we're doing better than predicted.

So I'm of course honored to be back again and thank you for having me.

I was trying to think of a talk for today,

You know,

Four weekends in a row.

I can't give the same talk.

So I said to Sandy,

I have an idea.

I'm going to talk about the seven virtues.

And she said,

Jonas,

You're not qualified.

So then I said,

Okay.

She's I said,

How about if I talk about the seven deadly sins?

And she said,

You've already mastered those.

Why don't you figure out something additional to talk about?

So I came up with the idea of the other seven deadly sins,

Things that are not as discussed as let's see if I can get them here.

Are you ready?

Pride,

Envy,

Greed,

L,

L,

What's the L for?

Lust.

Then A is for angered,

G is for gluttony and S is for sloth.

So we're going to go on to discuss seven other deadly sins.

So could we please have the next slide?

Here we go.

Now,

Don Miguel-Louise in his book,

The Four Agreements,

Also identified this as absolutely critical.

So we'll have a hats off to him,

Even though,

Of course,

This is wisdom from all traditions.

Don't.

Taking things personally.

So what does that mean?

Well,

Basically,

It means reacting to what people say,

What they think,

What happens in the world and allowing that to trigger us inside.

So,

For instance,

When Sandy said,

You know,

I'm going to talk about the seven deadly sins,

I'm going to talk about the seven virtues,

Rather than reacting and feeling offended.

I had to acknowledge that she was probably right.

So,

But in a in a more serious thing,

If somebody says to you,

I think so and so would make or even is a great leader of the country and you happen to think the opposite.

What we tend to do is we react inside.

You know what I'm talking,

Even if you don't say anything,

Your guts not up inside.

And I'm not suggesting that you hold one view or the other,

Because people in this room might hold a view or the other view.

You hold one view or the other,

Because people in this room might hold opposite views.

Another is somebody criticizes you.

When you take in their criticism personally,

It's because it resonates with some old wound,

Some some incompleteness in you.

It's not what they say that causes you to dis ease.

It is what's already there.

So we don't take personally anything in the world except our own business.

Now,

That means that that does not mean that we don't own responsibility for feeding the poor,

For clothing the naked as the Bible and all traditions really command us to do.

But it means that we don't take personally the resistance,

The differences,

The criticism that we meet along the way.

Remember what I said last week,

Everyone,

Including us,

Is just doing her best.

Right.

I'm still,

I guess the correct pronoun is there,

Even though it violates the old standard of English.

So their best.

Everyone is doing their best.

I kind of like using her because for about the last 300,

400 years we've been using him.

So we can balance it a little.

So don't take things personally.

Is anything about that not clear?

If somebody calls you a dirty,

Rotten so and so,

That's their business.

That is a reflection of their consciousness.

You don't have to take that in as something that has anything to do with you.

As a matter of fact,

It goes both ways.

Marishi Mahesh Yogi,

Who is my number one teacher in this lifetime by far for me personally,

He used to say the fact that I love you is no concern of yours.

So even when someone loves us,

It means nothing.

And by the way,

If we just,

If we,

If we take that in,

Oh,

I must be lovable.

Then when somebody criticizes us,

The exact opposite reaction will take place.

So I appreciate whenever someone says something good to me,

But I try not to take it personally.

What I usually say,

Somebody said something nice.

Oh,

Bruiser and I were out for a walk.

I think I told you this already,

But a lot of times people say,

Oh,

Isn't he adorable?

And then I'll say,

Yeah,

But what about bruiser?

And then they roll their eyes and what have you.

So,

But what I said to her as I rode away on the bicycle with bruiser in my backpack is if you spot it,

You got it.

It wasn't that one of those speed dating things we did,

Speed teachings we did.

If you spot it,

You got it.

You see wrong in others,

Then you must have some,

Some trace at least of that wrong in you.

And if you see good in others,

You not only have that good in you,

But you are cultivating it.

So this is why we give without taking anyone's response personally.

And it's especially true.

Somebody asked me last week,

Jonas,

How do you keep up as an activist with your,

You know,

Constant defeats,

Constant setbacks?

And that's the same answer.

I said,

I just try to keep doing what is there to be done.

And then letting God divine will,

Whatever we want to call it,

Take care of the outcome.

I don't have any control over the outcome.

We discussed that last week.

Let's go on to the next slide,

Please.

Two,

Being unwilling to forgive.

Why is this an impediment?

And by the way,

When I call these sins,

What I define as a sin is that which harms our lives,

Our hearts,

Our evolution as spiritual aspirants,

But it also causes harm to the collective whole.

That's what I define as a sin.

So being unwilling to forgive.

What does,

When you hold on to a grudge or a story of someone having hurt you,

Even if they did hurt you,

When you hold onto that story and you indulge in it,

What does that do to your heart?

It contracts it,

Right?

It contracts it.

Just like when,

Even in politics,

When we focus on something that somebody's done and we,

We stay focused on that,

We invest our consciousness in it.

Remember from last week that consciousness is the stuff from which the entire universe manifests.

So when we invest our consciousness in something that's negative and destructive,

Hateful,

Then we cultivate that within ourselves and in the world.

But most importantly,

We harm ourselves.

Have you heard that expression that holding onto a grudge,

Failing to forgive is like,

Is like constantly turning a knife in our gut.

We're doing it to ourselves.

I've said this to you more than once.

Everybody hurt us once,

But since then,

By indulging in that story and failing to forgive,

We continue to inflict that harm on ourselves,

Right?

Maybe in that moment we were an innocent victim,

Although the law of karma might suggest otherwise.

But nevertheless,

Someone harmed us.

Now what are we going to do about it?

Are we going to allow that harm to define how we live life?

Are we going to give up our power to that unconscious thing the person did way back when?

What a waste of a beautiful life that according to some,

My wife,

That we wait up to 10,

000s of years to get this human life.

The angels envy us because we have the capacity to fully realize the truth of our innermost divine state and to live it.

So forgiveness is not something necessarily that you can just do.

Okay,

I forgive you.

It's something you might have to work on.

We use the release technique.

We continually remind ourselves that we make mistakes.

Remember,

That's what the Bible said about,

You know,

That he who is cast the first,

That he was not sinned,

Cast the first stone.

And when we hold onto grudges,

We are perpetually casting the stones.

Unfortunately,

They ricochet and come back to us.

So we're stoning ourselves constantly by failing to forgive.

So we work on it.

We can practice the release technique.

We do forms of meditation that allow healing to take place both in the body and the mind.

What we make and when we find ourselves holding a grudge and telling ourselves this sad,

Harmful,

Hurtful story,

We say,

Ah,

This is not serving me.

It's not serving my mission as a servant of humanity.

I'm going to move on.

Okay,

Next slide,

Please.

I got to pick it up a little.

Judging and condemning others.

Well,

We sort of just talked about that some,

But there can be people that we see out there,

You know,

So and so is doing this gossip,

You know,

That could be on here,

Right?

Gossip could definitely be one of the other seven deadly sins.

So and what this amounts to is when we put our attention on what may be weak or may be destructive behavior that others are engaged in,

What are we doing?

We're feeding that reality with our attention.

We're helping to block them in to that negative negativity.

Judge not,

Lest ye be judged.

We've heard that one too,

Right?

Judge not,

Lest ye be judged.

Now I've come a considerable way since I designed the bumper sticker that said,

Judge mental and proud of it.

I've realized the folly of my ways.

So same thing when you see someone and you find that you are critical,

You're thinking negatively about them,

You're judging them,

You're condemning and condemnation,

By the way,

Comes from feeding that weakness,

That negativity with our attention.

Remember what you put your attention on grows.

This is a fundamental truth of life.

And why is that?

Just a quick reminder that consciousness is the stuff from which the universe is created.

So how we focus our consciousness helps to create.

We are God.

We are that divine presence.

Okay,

So and again,

Each one of these things I believe that I've put up here,

Almost each,

Almost all of them,

They result in our contracting our own hearts,

Limiting,

Reducing our ability to love.

What are we here for?

We're here to awaken to the deepest truth of life,

Which is our own inner divine nature and to be a tool of the divine,

Spreading love,

Spreading harmony,

Spreading goodwill in the world.

Now that doesn't mean that we don't stand for justice and we don't stand firmly.

Again,

Martin Luther King is a great example of that.

We talked about him last week or Gandhi or even Jesus.

But we do so from this place of open heartedness and love and conviction in the good that we want to create.

I put this up here especially for Sandy and our marriage.

So she would just,

Just joking.

She's,

She's actually very,

I've told you,

She actually,

We did.

I have to,

Do I have to tell you that,

That our being married 38 years in November,

Do I have to tell you that that suggests the kind of heart that Sandy has?

I mean,

You all know,

You,

You know,

So.

Okay.

Next slide please.

And we're,

We're going to go a little faster.

Ooh,

This is a big one.

Understanding and criticizing ourselves,

All this negative self talk.

Now remember we talked about forgiveness earlier.

Is anybody here ever done anything in your life that has brought you shame?

Anybody?

Okay.

Now if we are learning to forgive others for reasons we've already discussed,

Wouldn't it make sense to forgive ourselves?

Remember that wonderful song that somebody wrote?

Oh yeah,

I wrote it.

It was called,

And the line is,

The line is,

And if charity begins at home,

Then love begins there too.

And I must learn to love myself before I can love you.

This means of course,

Forgiving ourselves,

Forgiving ourselves in the Lord's prayer sense about we forgive ourselves,

Forgive us our sins.

No,

I guess we're asking for forgiveness,

But we must forgive ourselves.

It's not up to someone else to forgive ourselves.

It's not for someone else to tell us that we're capable or that we're smart enough or that we're good enough or that we deserve success or goodness or love.

That's our responsibility.

So that when things don't appear to be going in the way we want,

Instead of saying,

Oh well,

I must not deserve that,

We could say,

Well,

Maybe I just need to try harder.

Or if we say to ourselves,

Oh,

You're not smart enough,

We don't need,

We don't need that.

All of us,

You know,

Listen,

Our parents,

If we had,

My children would say their father had no clue about how to father.

But if that's true,

And it may be relatively true because nobody ever took classes.

I got my four year degree and I never took a class on how to be a father.

But our parents were even a step further back into the dark ages.

I'm not criticizing them.

I'm just saying that we heard a lot of negative talk,

Most many of us from our folks that we've internalized.

And we repeat those things to ourselves.

We're not good enough.

We don't,

You know,

Whatever.

I can't do that.

I'm not smart enough.

Whatever I do is not good enough.

Whatever those messages are.

And again,

We must assume responsibility for our lives now.

Victimhood and spiritual progress don't go together.

So we own responsibility for telling ourselves the things.

Here's what I tell folks that are beating themselves up.

Pretend you are your small child,

Your five year old,

Beating yourself up like that,

Beating him or herself up like that.

What would you say to them?

You are lovable.

You are wonderful.

Don't say those terrible things about yourself.

So why can't you give that same gift to yourself?

Why would you treat yourself with any less love than you would want your child to treat theirself?

Next slide,

Please.

I've done this.

I've done this.

And notice I didn't say quitting because sometimes we'll pursue some certain avenue of course of action and they're just will hit a wall and and we'll just know that this is not we need to change either alter our course or completely goes in another direction.

But this one,

So I don't call that a sin,

But if we never begin,

There is,

You know what the odds of our achieving what we want if we never begin.

They're pretty slim.

So quitting before we begin,

I'm going to give you an example because I do that.

As a matter of fact,

I do all of these,

I'm sure different times I violate all these.

So I think I told you my dad was a professional saxophone player and but he wasn't the greatest teacher and so I never learned to play when I was a child.

And then about three or four years ago,

I had my brother had passed away and I got my dad's tenor sax that my brother had had.

And I one day I just said,

I'm going to start playing this thing.

And I started taking lessons and I've made some progress.

But the one thing that I have up to now not done is learn to improvise.

And with all of my 50 years of music experience,

More than that,

Probably closer to 55 years of performing and singing and writing,

I just it just I seemed daunting to me that I couldn't do it.

I don't know how.

How do you do that?

And I just and so what happened is I just wouldn't be gay.

And so and the just playing melodies and what have you,

It's been OK,

But it's just not what I really want in my heart.

I want to know how to improvise.

So about three weeks ago,

I contacted this high school music teacher who's been giving me lessons.

Wonderful guy,

Jim Edgerton in Fairfield.

I said,

Are you ready to take back the prodigal student?

And he said yes.

And I said he said,

It'll be a couple of weeks.

I said,

Fine.

Tell me tell me what to practice.

I'm ready.

I'm ready to go for it.

And he said he told me that do this out in say how much time he said,

Start practicing these scales.

So I made a commitment that I was going to practice these scales and these things that absolutely you don't have a clue how it's going to help you learn to improvise.

But a solid hour a day,

If I've got to blow my nose,

I press stop on the timer.

So I do a real solid hour.

And so it's been about 13 days now.

I last Sunday because I was traveling all day and I was on my motorcycle.

I didn't practice.

But besides that,

It's been 13 out of 14 days.

I put in my hour and I'm not going to quit and I'm going to learn how to improvise and I'm going to have faith that the teachers but most of all,

I'm going to have faith in myself that I will.

I can do this.

I can do this and I'm not.

So I've started.

I finally,

But having never started,

I couldn't possibly have a chance to fulfill my desire.

Right?

So I don't know if this applies to any of you quitting before you start,

But if it does,

I suggest that you just,

You join me.

I don't know how much time you need to devote to pursuing your dream or your desire,

But get started.

And by the way,

Once you start,

If it's not right,

Then nature can guide you.

Oh no,

I think you need to be over here somewhere.

But if you never start,

You never give nature a chance to give you that guidance.

So next slide.

Yikes.

Being dishonorable.

This actually applies to will,

Will,

The ability to do anything in our lives.

And we are,

There's two ways that I can think of right off the,

To be dishonorable.

One is to violate our own sense of right and wrong.

We think something could be wrong,

But we do it anyway.

Or we think something is needed,

But we don't do it.

I should go make a donation to that charity today,

But then I don't do it.

Or I shouldn't eat that thing because it's unhealthy for me,

But I go ahead and eat it.

Whenever we violate our own sense of right and wrong,

Then we weaken our ability to manifest what we want in the world.

The other way we violate it is with our word.

If I say that I'm going to do something,

If we say we're going to do something and then we don't do it,

What does that do to our sense of confidence that we can do what we say?

Of course,

Others can lose their faith in us.

Of course,

You're Jonas,

You're always saying you're going to do this thing and you never do it.

So we have that.

And so remember consciousness helps create a reality.

So whether we,

They say anything to us or not,

All these people thinking,

Well,

Jonas never keeps his word are going to impair,

Impede my ability to keep my word.

But most of all,

My own self doubt,

My own history,

My own observation of my failures to keep my word help weaken my ability to do it.

This ability to keep our word,

To do what we say is really a foundational quality of human growth.

And all of us have broken our word,

At least,

I shouldn't assume that,

But probably most of us have broken our word at one time or another.

So keeping our word,

Every time we do what we say,

We build internal power to achieve more in our lives,

To accomplish more,

To do greater good.

So this ability,

This very important quality of doing what we say is a critical,

Critical character,

Characteristic of successful human beings.

And though some of us are more concerned with spiritual success,

Perhaps than financial success or what is traditionally defined as success in our society,

Nevertheless,

That quality is also essential for our spiritual progress,

Unfoldment and gift to the world.

All right,

Seven,

Please.

This is something we don't often think about,

But our well-being is the basis of what we can give in the world.

Right?

If someone is caught in a cycle of addiction,

Let's say alcoholism,

Then that person is their ability to care for others,

To achieve anything in their lives,

Is very,

Very,

Very much suppressed by the addiction.

Right?

Similarly,

When we take care of ourselves,

Then we maximize our power to grow and to give.

So what is caring for ourselves?

Now I've already observed last week or the week before how our congregation seems to have a lot more ladies,

Women than men.

And I pointed out that women tend to be more spiritually oriented than men.

So what we find in our culture,

Especially,

And probably all cultures,

Is that women tend to put everyone else first,

Especially family.

And all of us may do this some,

But especially in our culture,

Women.

And what that means is that they neglect their own care.

You know,

I'll rest some other time,

Or I will eat properly some other time,

Or I'll take a walk in nature to nurture my soul some other time.

And it's always,

And this also applies to busy businessmen.

You know,

I'm just too busy.

I'll eat some processed junk for lunch because I don't have time to care for myself properly.

Well,

All of that contributes to our growth and well-being as spiritual aspirants and our ability to give love in the world.

You've heard the expression,

You can't give water from an empty well.

So it is very,

Very important that we nurture our own lives,

Our own hearts,

Our own souls.

Taking that time is so,

We have some young mothers here.

It is so essential.

Mothers are particularly prone to this.

I know Sandy was when we had young children and to some extent she still is.

It's just her nature to give,

Give,

Give,

Give,

Give,

Give,

Give.

So what kinds of things it means rest,

Taking time for our spiritual practice,

Taking time to keep our body strong and healthy,

Going for walks,

Riding our bicycle,

Going to the gym,

Playing pickleball.

And it means for me,

And I strongly recommend this for everyone,

Is take some time to be in nature frequently because there is that nurturing quality of being in nature that helps to repair our hearts and heal our inner wounds and allow us to continue our work as aspirants in the world.

So I have to stop because I've taken way too much time today.

However,

I do have a bonus in.

This is it.

And I won't take a lot of time discussing this.

And we just talked about women a little more before.

Now we're going to talk about men a little more now.

But though,

Though all genders are guilty of this,

Men particularly like to do it alone.

There is tremendous power in collective consciousness and to have others assisting us on any level,

Working together.

I can,

That's the other answer to the question about Jonas,

How do you keep doing it with activism?

I have a team of four other people that I meet with every week and we have fun and we laugh and we keep at it.

We keep fighting the good fight.

I could not do it if they weren't there.

I would have just,

My heart would have grown too heavy by now and I just don't think I could still be at it.

So having others and of course that's what this church,

I'm sorry,

This unity center is having each other.

What a beautiful community you have to support your continued focus on your spiritual growth.

And other things that are going on in your life.

If you're hurting because of a relationship breakup,

You know,

Find others to confide in to support you.

If you want to learn to play the saxophone,

Find a friend to whom you can make a commitment who will hold you accountable.

I have a friend,

She's been an AA for a few years and is sober,

But it turns out she was smoking weed and cigarettes regularly.

And that wasn't for her,

That wasn't being an integrity.

So I've never been an AA,

But she called me and she said,

Will you be my accountability partner?

And she texts me every single morning to let me know that this is day,

I think she's up to day,

We've started a few times,

But this is day like 60,

60,

I think.

Every day.

And she writes day six,

We changed it because she kept having relapses.

So now she writes day 60 of forever.

So whatever your aspirations are,

Find someone who can support you,

Someone who will share your dream,

Who will support your dream,

Who will tell you,

You can do this,

Jonas,

Or whatever your name is.

I guess it wouldn't go so well if your name wasn't Jonas and they said that.

Don't do it alone.

And I did send Ruth,

There she is back there,

I sent Ruth a very funny letter about a guy explaining to an insurance person how these injuries occurred.

And it's called doing it alone.

And Ruth,

I don't know how you can get that to people,

But you can ask Ruth to email it to you or however she can get it out there.

All right.

Well,

Those are the other seven deadly sins.

So let's close our eyes real quickly.

Was that bell keep going off telling me to shut up?

Was that it?

Let's close our eyes.

We'll take a couple moments of silence and we'll do our offertory.

Be in the heart.

Allow your attention to be in the heart.

And resolve in that silent,

Sacred space to rise above these common human habits that we discussed today that contract our hearts,

That causes grief,

That make us less capable of loving and serving.

We are told that we were created in the image of God.

And we know that our innermost nature is the same as that divine intelligence,

That divine love,

That divine power of what we call the almighty.

We are capable of rising above these human habits.

So we resolve,

We say to ourselves,

I am capable.

I can break old habits that do not serve me.

My heritage,

My divine heritage is one of unlimited power,

Unlimited intelligence,

Unlimited love.

And I choose to manifest that legacy for my good,

For the good of those around me,

And for the entire world.

And slowly you can open the eyes.

Reviews

Amazing. Learning how forgiveness of others gives me peace was so important for me today. Namaste 🙏

Thank you for this talk . A lot of wisdom shared in a simple way with a smile !
Much love and gratitude 🌸❤️🙏

Thank you , I felt this deeply today and was grateful to hear your messages ! Much love

I like how you mentioned the 4 noble truths and implemented them in this talk. I will revisit this often. Thank you 🙏

Great talk with lots to identify with and ponder. Thanks! 🙏💕

Oh my goodness — this talk is filled with wonderful nuggets of wisdom, love and great energy. I will be listening again and absorbing even more, I’m sure! Thank you, Jonas. Please do more of these ... Namasté 💓

Thank you - so many reminders to help to become closer to being my authentic self resonating with my intended purpose and radiating life.

This was wonderful! I really appreciate the humor that you weave into this talk... Great content and the humor keeps it light. Thanks for this offering :)

Thank u
Beautiful meditation and words of wisdom!
Blessings

I’ll listen to this again! Thank you!

I’ll listen to this again! Thank you!

Jonas❣️
Thank you for this BEAUTIFULLY POWERFUL (and, at times, comical 😄) teaching!
So many ideas to feed our hearts, minds and souls❣️
This is a Talk I intend to return to often.
🙏🏻💕

You provided many different perspectives that really resonated with me. Thank you!

Just exactly what I needed to hear and experience. Thank you

Very enlightening, thank you and Namaste

5 /5 Really enjoyed this and the points discussed are so relevant.Thank you for this talk.I learned a lot.

Absolutely wonderful! Thank you for all of these powerful tools and reminders. I feel inspired and ready for the day! 💛💛💛🥰