Love Is Now

Change is the great constant in our lives. So how can having a meditation practice help us navigate the strong ebbs and flows of real life? In this beautiful moving short talk, John shares a recent example of a hugely significant life-changing moment​ and reflects on the nature of authenticity in our practices when all our perceived ​strategies​ fail us.

Transcript

You never know when your life is going to completely change.

We often tend to think that we can create strategies for all the eventualities of life.

But life proves over and over again that it has its own ideas and deeper intelligence and can pretty much swoop in and things can change at any moment.

And actually,

This is a good thing.

I'd like to take a few minutes to tell you about something astonishing along these lines that happened to me at the Mindful Living Show in London in March that has changed everything.

And I'd like to reflect for a few minutes on how meditation has helped me with the dimensions around this change.

My own interest in meditation,

Both as a teacher and as an eternal student,

Goes far beyond its use as a tool and back to the ancient roots of meditation being about answering life's two great questions.

Who am I and what am I here for?

In other words,

Bringing about the realization of our true nature.

I'm only interested in what can really help us.

I have no time for anything else.

My spiritual practice is centered around turning up as best I can each moment,

Living a soul-led authentic life which is signified by the movement from fear-based existing to love-based being.

Change is our constant and all our plans and strategies,

Our statuses,

Identities,

Tribes,

Even our money are not always reliable currencies in the land of change.

This is where meditation really perhaps is most helpful around navigating change,

Vulnerability and answering the questions of life itself.

That day,

I had no idea that my life was about to change.

I'd just come off stage after guiding 200 lovely people in meditation and was leaving the hall to go get a cup of Earl Grey tea in the cafe when a young man approached me.

He'd been sitting at the back of the hall waiting for a chance to speak with me throughout the morning,

But I'd not seen him until now.

The second I saw him,

I knew who he was.

It was my son,

AJ.

We'd been missing from each other's lives for 25 years.

His first ever words to me were,

Can I come for a cup of tea with you?

Can you imagine how it must have been for him getting himself there,

Sitting in that hall throughout the meditation?

I'm not going to tell you anything about the situation that led to AJ not being in my life or me in his.

Things are what they are.

If we live by holding on to stories too much,

We don't meet life in the moment,

Nor can we meet each other with any openness.

What I can tell you is,

Is that I had nothing up my sleeves that I could rely on at that moment.

I didn't suddenly think,

Oh,

I'd better be mindful.

I simply put my arms around my son for the first time in a quarter of a century,

And we held each other for a long time.

And then we did go for that cup of tea.

For the longest time,

I had the feeling that AJ would turn up.

I had long resisted going to try to find him.

Something had always told my heart to wait and allow.

I actually had no idea where he was,

And he seemed to have no online presence whenever I searched for his name.

By the way,

I'm writing this with his full permission.

After we were parted before his first birthday,

I fell terribly ill with a complete breakdown and was very close to being hospitalized.

I already was a meditator,

But I can honestly say that I had such a legacy of family pain and dysfunction that I thought was me,

That this loss took me right over the edge.

Now here we are,

25 years later,

And we've been in contact for three months or so,

Seeing each other when possible,

Keeping in touch each week.

So I want to reflect on the question,

How has my spiritual practice,

My meditation been of use in all of this?

So I'd like to share with you three things that I can observe that meditation and spiritual practice has been helpful with.

After my illness,

Meditation began allowing me to see that I was not the person my mind thought I was,

And as I began to reach soul level,

Which was largely a case of shedding things rather than adding other identities to myself,

I could see the psychological,

Physical,

And spiritual work that I needed to do to actually heal my life.

I gave up hanging onto stories of being the victim of my past,

And I began leaning into the work for its own sake,

Not knowing if I'd even make it to the next moment sometimes.

All I wanted was to be present in my own life instead of living through all this stuff.

This process is what has allowed me to be successful on my own terms,

And not be a wreck when AJ turned up.

Can you imagine being the kind of person who holds onto bitterness and stories for 25 years?

How that would shape and warp everything in your life.

If I'd have lived that life,

We would not have really met that day.

He would have met my identities,

My victimhood,

My righteousness,

Anger,

Projections.

My second observation is that presence kicked in the very moment I recognized him.

I found myself completely with him in the moment.

We talked in the cafe for over two hours,

Both emotionally overwhelmed and not knowing what to say,

But being met being.

It's never about what we say,

It's always about presence and being here with the other person.

Authenticity can never be faked.

The space in myself allowed space for my son,

Whether angry,

Sad,

Overwhelmed,

Blank.

Here he was,

Here we are,

And presence gave us the room to be together.

The past wasn't important,

Love is now.

Love too can never be faked,

And is not a product of the mind,

But is the natural expression of being.

Meditation doesn't make you a feelingless robot,

You feel everything,

But you know that you're feeling it.

After our meeting,

I had to be completely out of the world for a few days.

Here too,

Meditation gently let me return day by day to the new life.

And thirdly,

As the months now unfold,

Meditation allows me to meet the impossible questions and new,

Previously unknown feelings of being a father by being in open space with this wonderful young man,

My son,

As we learn each other from the ground up.

Meditation takes me beyond judgment and drama to the core of what is.

We are alive now,

We are here,

And come what may,

The space of life holds all that we are.

We make our plans for life,

But we have to choose to be here,

To do the work.

If we listen,

Life will always show us what we need.

Fear or love,

React or respond,

Be lost in stories and drama,

Or be here now.

The choice is ours.

Meditation is about our lives and our real love,

And removing anything in us that stands in the way of them both.

Bless you for listening.

I wish you all the love in the world.

Reviews

Thank you for this talk. It really resonated with me and is helpful. I’m happy for your reunion with your son and I’m wishing you blessings on your path forward. Namaste. 🙏🩵

This talk was suggested to me by IT this evening. I felt to listen and in listening, saw myself and the several painful periods of estrangement I've experienced in my life. Leading with love and dropping the stories is what I've felt to do, too, as you apparently also did. I'm also making sure that I know and honor my own boundaries from the get-go of resolution and reunion. Setting up a regular contact schedule that works for both of us, seems to work to facilitate the renewed relationships organic unfolding. Seems like you and your son are doing that, too.

Thank you 🙏 for the purity of your heart 💜 and for this wonderful contribution. It touches me deeply and it helps me with some of my own experiences at this time. I have loved all of your poems and meditations for the past few years. You are a gift to the world. Enjoy your beautiful boy and being a father. Namaste. 🌈🧘🏻‍♀️

This piece is an amazing and moving personal story, being used to illustrate some of the most important and deepest roles meditation can play in our lives. Many thanks for this sharing!

“Authenticity cannot be faked.
Love cannot be faked.”

I love your words; thank you! 🙏

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story inspired by love.

Thank you for sharing❤️🙏…Very beautiful and from the heart✨

What a beautiful and precious story. Thank you so much for sharing it. It was exactly what I need to receive today. Thank you 🙏.

Deep bow of gratitude for you and this sharing. Many blessings. 🙏🏼❤️

That was very touching and inspirational. Thanks you for sharing your experience. I genuinely connected on many levels.

Your honesty is refreshing. Thanks for being vulnerable with us.

Powerful. I am so happy he came back to you, and that you were ready to receive him the way you did. Everything happens for a reason. All your work paid off in a way you never could have imagined. As a father, I can’t imagine that separation. I am gushing tears as I type this. I love my practice of meditation, and this just bolsters my desire to go further with it. Thank you for sharing your story and I will always remember this story of love and reunion. May you have a long and wonderful life with your son. ❤️

Thank you from my heart to yours for sharing John ❤️ 💖

We never know what miracles we are about to receive. I’m so happy for you and appreciate your story.

I loved hearing this small part of your life journey. Very applicable to my life even though we are worlds apart. Thank you for your work ✨

Thank you. Presence. Authenticity. Showing up. All the love in the world♥️

The universe always shows you what is needed at any given time... What a powerful story as I reconnected with my dad after 25 years last year as well! Thank for you sharing your story! Sending love 🌹

Thank you for sharing this extraordinarily poignant story. It resonates profoundly. With love 🙏

Thank you John, a heartwarming story which has inspired me to continue to practice deepening my meditations. May you both be at ease together.

Thank you for sharing this experience. Thank you for the opportunity to reflect because of this experience.