Hello,
Dear one.
This meditation is for times when you're experiencing grief.
It's a way of meeting and honoring the grief that we feel inside ourselves,
Either at the loss of something personal or someone close to us,
Or in response to things going on in our community or the world.
Grief can come for any reason,
Something from the past,
Something in the present,
And it's not the goal of this practice to make grief magically disappear,
But to bring love and awareness and consciousness to our experience so that we may meet it with love and consciousness and awareness,
And if need be,
Some proactivity.
So let's begin just by,
As best you can,
Allowing yourself to be in the space that you're in.
Grief often has a very numbing effect,
A squeezing effect on the body,
So I invite you not to try to change that,
But just recognize whatever you're feeling in the body,
And within that,
Feel your body in the space of the room that you're in.
And already this is allowing your awareness,
So just noticing what you notice through your body as you allow yourself the sense of uprightness as you sit,
Allowing your hands to be on your knees or in your lap,
Allowing your breath to move down more into the body,
Gently,
Gently,
Not rushing.
You're aware of your feet against the floor.
Can you feel that your feet are alive?
You're aware of your feet being aware of your hands,
And just feeling them from within,
Feeling the way your body feels,
Yourself sitting on the cushion or the chair,
The uprightness of your back,
Your shoulders,
How your back feels.
I invite you just to allow yourself some deeper out breaths for a moment.
So just awareness of the body,
Awareness of the body,
And as best you can,
Just the sounds that you can hear,
Allowing your attention to move outwardly to incorporate the sounds that you can hear,
The sound of my voice,
Sounds outside,
Sounds in the room,
And also being aware of your reactions or responses to the sounds.
Perhaps you feel irritated or annoyed or that you can't be bothered,
Or that this is too hard.
Any of those things would be completely understandable.
So just gently,
Gently,
The sounds and even the annoyances or your response or feelings.
Just allow yourself to see that.
Just meeting the reaction and the sounds in your body is awareness itself,
And we make a choice not to react to the reaction,
Not to try to push the grief away,
Not to try to make ourselves feel different,
And you can feel grief's hand holding you.
So I invite you as gently as possible to take grief's hand.
You'll notice that there are stories in the mind and then there is the feeling itself.
So just in this moment,
Allowing your heart,
Allowing your heart and metaphorically just taking grief's hand,
Doesn't mean we'll be here forever,
It's just in this moment,
And allowing yourself at this level to gently recognize the fact that you are grieving,
But you're meeting it with love and awareness,
And as the feeling of presence increases as you sit,
Just allowing yourself to be curious about the feeling of grief in your hand,
In your heart,
In your body,
Noticing its qualities from awareness,
Dropping resistance to the moment,
Dropping resistance to your heart.
Awareness is the light in the dark,
And you see that the feelings are real,
Grief is real.
Listening from awareness,
You might notice that even within this,
The awareness feels like a glimmer of light that's not a creation or something made up,
But is there within you.
As you allow that small light,
Notice how you allow yourself,
How you remember yourself through the heart of awareness,
And that this,
Even though intertwined with the grief and the stories and the feelings and the actuality of loss,
Is deeper than the despair and the hopelessness and the voices in the mind.
Feeling of presence in the body,
Feeling of your groundedness,
Space of the room,
Just gently here in the room with yourself,
Sounds from outside,
Aware of how grief creates a bubble that we're in,
And just recognizing that.
And as you hold its hand and you listen to your heart,
Allow your heart in this moment as you feel that glimmer of self.
Listen with love.
Allow that light to spread.
Listen to what that light is telling you,
The light of awareness in your heart,
And you recognize how you miss the person or your pet or the feeling of how things should be and the connections or the lost potential or the possibilities of life,
Or whatever is speaking to you,
And you take its hand and allow your heart in this moment and awareness.
You allow that illumination to touch the losses,
The sphere,
The stories,
The truth,
And you're aware that there's something in you.
This awareness is wholeness,
That it does not change.
Notice that within the emptiness of grief and its encompassing nature,
That there is this space,
This inner space that is not empty,
That it accepts you as you are,
Without any need to change.
How it is full,
And allowing yourself to be aware of those qualities of fullness,
Perhaps a sense of innocence or subtle loving,
Of life not bounded.
Listening to the voice of your love,
The awareness,
The arising of compassion.
Perhaps notice that in some imperceptible way,
Like the still small voice inside,
It is communicating with you,
It is showing you how to love,
How to grieve,
That there is a natural dignity and a space for all.
Not searching for an answer,
Feeling the awareness in the heart,
The wholeness of presence,
The acceptance of all,
Not judging the quality or the feelings,
But taking their hands,
Touching with love,
Meeting for real.
You may notice that it asks you or that it speaks to you in how you might honor this moment,
Or this day,
And this loss,
Letting go of trying to solve anything with our minds,
Or our smaller selves,
Our egos,
And just allowing your heart in this moment.
Forgiving yourself,
Allowing yourself and recognizing your unique connection to this grieving,
This unfolding,
And the love that is.
Honoring this moment by taking its hand,
Honoring this grief by holding it gently in your hands,
The hands of awareness,
The hands of real love,
And allowing yourself the feeling of the room around you,
The feeling of yourself sitting on your cushion,
Your legs,
Your feet,
Your hands,
Your arms,
Your face,
Allowing your breath,
Perhaps allowing a little more in-breath,
Not trying to hold on to the moment,
Not trying to hold on to the practice,
Perhaps putting one hand on your heart,
One hand on your belly,
Giving yourself a hold or a hug,
The kindness of your own touch,
And we'll gently allow this practice to close.
I just want to take a second to thank you for sitting with me.
Bless you.
Thank you for your practice.
It makes all the difference in the world.
Take care,
My friend.
