Self-Care: Why You Won’t Make It Without It

Recently my husband Thom and I were ready to get out of town in search of some clean air – we live in Davis, California. Instead, we found a blackened landscape, devastated by the fires. In this podcast, I reflect on the effect this had (and continues to have) on me and how vital self-care was in helping me get through it. I also offer some ideas for your self-care practice that you can do every day.

Transcript

Hello, This is Jo Hatcher. This is a piece I wrote about self-care and why you won't make it without it. A reflection on my dark weekend and how I pull through. When your world is on fire, If you're like me, Your first impulse is to run away. Recently, My husband and I planned a day trip to escape from the smoke and the fires that have been gripping our region in Northern California for the past month. We were ready to get out of town and find a bit of clean air, And I desperately wanted to see blue skies again. We carefully studied the fire map and decided we needed to go northeast into the Sierra foothills. It felt good to get in our brand new truck, And I felt hopeful and excited after not being able to get outside for weeks due to the smoke and poor air quality. After two hours of driving, I was mildly annoyed that we were still on the freeway with dreary smoky skies, But I thought, Well, Once we get off the freeway, It'll be better. What we found instead was a blackened landscape. As we stared out the window, We saw a dismal view of charred trees and scorched earth that stared back at us. I felt sick. I thought we were going to go away from the smoke, The fires from all the heaviness of being surrounded by fires. We kept going to a state park we had visited a few years before. It was 90 degrees and the air quality was very bad. We got out of the truck and walked around with our mask on. The sky was hazy and smoky, And the ranges told us that the park had just reopened five days before due to another large fire, Which had finally been contained. We drove to a lookout point and my heart sunk as I sat on a bench overlooking the bleak scene. The haze made it difficult to see much. We can't even get away from these fires, Even for a day, I thought. It was at that moment the full gravity of the fires, Climate change, The pandemic, And the hopelessness of it all hit me. There's no escape, A little voice inside me said. When will this all end? And how much more if California will burn before it's over? Will we see blue skies and white clouds ever again? More than two and a half million acres of land have burned here in California. That's from 7, 452 fires and at least eight people have died. I plunged into a dark place within myself, A bottomless pit of hopelessness and despair. It's foreign to me to be like this, To feel like there's no way out. I'm normally upbeat and positive and I feel hopeful about life even when things get tough. That night I felt drained to the core of my being. I was exhausted and worried and afraid. I felt complete despair. I kept thinking, How are we going to survive? How is the earth going to make it? And if that wasn't enough, I thought about all the other catastrophes in the world, The pandemic, The protest, Our deeply divided nation. How will this all end? I couldn't feel anything positive. It took two days of extreme self-care to come back to myself. I got up the next morning, Even though I could hardly drag myself out of bed and join my online cooking class. Cooking can be a form of self-care. It was surprising to discover how cooking online with others would help me, But it did and I felt a lift as I prepared a healthy meal with everyone else. I was extremely tender with myself all day. If I felt like napping, I did. I talked to my sister. I washed my hair and did a facial and scrub and I just let myself be. I didn't do anything I didn't have to. I used mindfulness that day. I focused only on the present moment. I listened to myself and what I needed. I didn't try to push all the negative thoughts away. I just said hello to them and then I let them go. And then I thought about all the things and people I'm grateful for, Noting each precious person in my life. I remembered my dear friend Shirley that day. Shirley passed away a few years ago. She had a lot to deal with. She fought cancer for two years, All alone. All of Shirley's family had died before her. She was all alone and she was in pain and suffered a lot. Her life was consumed with chemo appointments and doctor's appointments. And yet Shirley was always upbeat and positive. So one day I asked her how she stayed so positive. She said, Well, Joe, I allow myself to have a pity party. She explained that she would set a timer for 20 minutes once a week and she'd sit down in her chair and feel sorry for herself, Cry and get angry. When the timer went off, Shirley would say to herself, Now that's enough. Get back to your life and be grateful. This, My friends, Is resilience. And Shirley's pity party was her version of self-care. I don't have all the answers of how to be resilient during this time when we're fighting for our lives, But there are many ways we can adapt and it begins with ourselves and our own self-care. One of the ways I'm discovering answers is by being part of a group of Women Green Leaders. Our mission is for each of us to bring our own special wisdom and skills to build awareness and make changes for the climate crisis. Healthy Women, Healthy Earth is a 501c3 not-for-profit organization dedicated to empowering women to take charge of their personal health and wellbeing through programs that teach and promote self-care. Healthy lifestyles in connection to Mother Earth. Through a grant from the Sisters of Mercy and support from private donors, We are now in the second year of our leadership program. This group gives me hope because we're all dedicated to finding a new way, Each with our own individual skills and talents. I've realized that my contribution to this group and to the world is highlighting the importance of self-care. That's right. Because what I know for sure is that if you're not taking care of yourself, You won't make it in this world right now. It will be easy to feel despair and disillusionment about the world's problems, Especially climate, This climate crisis. You might be tempted to throw up your hands and say, It's hopeless and I can't do anything about it. But you know what? The world needs you and me to step up. The world needs people who are adapting and resilient and strong. We need to use self-care so that we are our best selves to help find solutions so that we can tap into our greater wisdom and knowledge to help save ourselves and the planet. I believe in you and I know you have ideas and unique gifts and skills. If you've been through the depths of the despair like I have, Know that this is normal because so many things are coming at us all at once, Huge things, And it's overwhelming and our brains are on overload right now. But we can and we will get through this difficult time. So over to you. What's your contribution going to be and how will you take care of yourself during these challenging times? Choose at least one self-care practice every day, The thing that brings you joy and put it at the top of your to-do list. Vote for local as well as national leaders who will make changes, Not preach that climate change is a hoax. Get out in nature when you can and let it speak to you with answers. Take care of yourself. We need you at your very best. And finally, Reach out to someone who might be struggling. A simple text or phone call can make all the difference to them. And share this recording with anyone you know. Everyone I know could benefit from knowing they're not alone.