Sitting Beside Your Heart When Love Feels Hard Meditation

Johanna guides you through a body based exploration of the patterns that shape how you love today. As you settle into your breath, you will be invited to notice where a familiar relationship pattern lives in your body and how your nervous system learned to protect you in the middle of raised voices, distance, or silence.

This meditation gently explores the emotional climate that shaped you. You will be guided to imagine your current relationship blueprint laid out in front of you and to imagine one new way of caring for yourself inside your closest relationships

This practice is for anyone who wants to understand their relationships with more compassion, for self and for those you share you life with.

Transcript

Let's begin by finding a position where your body feels supported.

That might be lying down,

Or sitting with your back resting against something that can hold you in a way that feels just right.

Take a few moments to make any small adjustments,

Whatever you need,

So that your body feels at ease.

Letting your breath arrive just as it is.

Simply notice the natural rise and fall.

As your breath settles into a slow and even rhythm,

Begin to feel the way the body meets the surface beneath you,

Noticing the points of contact,

The back of your head supported,

Shoulders letting go.

Feeling the length of your spine,

Your legs all the way down to heels and toes.

In your own time,

Starting to lengthen the exhale.

Breathing in through the nose and breathing out slowly through the mouth.

Letting the exhale whisper,

It's safe to settle in.

Invite your breath to become just a little deeper than usual,

As if you're intentionally giving yourself more space on the inside.

With each exhale,

From here on out,

Imagine you're setting something down,

A conversation you've been carrying,

Something that's been replaying over and over again in the mind,

A worry you don't have to solve right now.

You don't have to push anything away.

You just give it permission to rest at the edge of your awareness while you come home to your body.

Let your awareness travel through your body slowly,

Softening around the eyes,

Letting the tiny muscles around your mouth relax,

Releasing the jaw.

Feeling breath move into the throat and down the chest.

Imagine breath creating space all around your heart,

Room for you to feel anything.

Breathing moves you,

Almost like waves coming in and going out,

Letting the upper back soften,

Letting the front of the chest widen.

Feel the support beneath you,

Holding your weight,

So you don't have to hold anything in this moment.

If thoughts come and go,

Let them be like birds flying across a wide sky.

You don't need to follow them.

You don't need to chase them away.

You can always return to this simple rhythm,

In through the nose,

Out through the mouth,

Here in your body,

Here in this moment.

This is the space that you are giving yourself,

Where you can listen inside,

Where you can begin to explore the deeper patterns that shape how you feel and how you love.

Bring to mind a recent or familiar moment in your relationship,

Maybe one that felt tender,

Maybe a recurring argument,

Or a sharp comment,

A tone that left you feeling shut out,

A withdraw that left you full of questions,

As if watching this moment from outside of yourself,

Taking note of body language.

Notice what happens first in your body in this kind of moment.

Maybe your throat closes,

Or your chest tightens,

Or your energy drops.

Maybe your mind races with everything you should have said.

Just taking a moment to silently name it.

Now imagine pressing a gentle pause on this scene.

Everyone else remains where they are.

You step out of the scene for a moment and take a breath.

In this pause,

Consider your own family patterns.

What emotions are here for you as you connect with what feels unresolved from back then,

Repeating in some way here and now,

Keeping the scene on pause.

With your next breath,

Consider what you might know about the family that your partner grew up in.

On your next inhale,

Say quietly inside,

I stay with myself.

And on the exhale,

You could say,

I see with new eyes as I hold the big picture.

Now imagine stepping back into the scene with this inner support.

You still feel what you feel,

Yet you're no longer reactive,

As if caught in a storm.

You're the one who can stay present,

Even with big emotions.

Inside,

You might explore,

I feel angry,

And underneath that,

I'm really hurt.

You might say,

I need a moment to breathe,

And then I want to talk.

You connect with yourself and acknowledge this feeling is strong,

And I'm not going to attack them or abandon myself.

Watch how this scene shifts,

Even if only a little,

When you change your inner position.

You can't control how the other person responds.

What you can transform is the way you show up inside of yourself.

Imagine shifting the dynamic in your relationship from the inside out.

Taking a breath into that pattern,

Letting your nervous system feel what it's like to stay with your body and your breath,

Instead of leaving yourself.

I'm learning to feel and express anger without harm.

I'm learning to feel sadness without disappearing.

I'm learning to respond from today,

Instead of yesterday,

And all that old patterning.

I can honor where all of it began and create something new from here.

You might even notice a quiet understanding forming,

That when you change what you do on the inside,

What happens on the outside begins to shift.

The roles people play in your life tend to repeat in the same way,

Until you change how you show up with them.

As you soften old expectations and stay closer to yourself,

You may see the same person respond to you in a slightly different way.

A conversation that used to explode might calm more quickly.

A familiar withdraw might not pull you under in quite the same way.

Sometimes the relationship feels a little lighter and more honest,

Simply because you're not playing that old part.

What if you didn't need to make anyone else change?

You're simply giving yourself permission to shift with awareness in how you respond.

In your mind,

Let a small,

Everyday tension arise.

Maybe a sigh from your partner,

Or they've rolled their eyes.

A text that feels off.

A sharp tone about something simple.

Notice what used to happen in moments like this.

Maybe your chest tightens and the story starts.

They're annoyed with me.

They don't care.

Here we go again.

And now see what's possible instead.

You feel that first wave of emotion,

And you remember to pause.

You feel your feet on the floor,

And you notice your breath.

Inside,

You say,

I stay with myself.

Let yourself get curious,

Exploring questions like,

How is this familiar?

Where was it in my childhood that I feel something along the lines of this?

A sigh that meant someone was disappointed in me.

A sharp voice that meant I'm in trouble.

A silence that meant I was on my own with something.

Notice how quickly your mind can time travel.

In an instant,

It goes from this one moment to a whole history of similar moments.

You might hear old thoughts returning.

I'm too much.

I'm not important here,

Or I have to fix this fast.

Gently name it as a part of your family imprint.

This is the old part of me that expects to be blamed.

This is the younger part of me that's just waiting to be left out.

This is the part of me that learned love meant walking on eggshells and keeping things good.

You're recognizing in the moment how this blueprint formed long ago.

As you settle into your body just a little bit more,

With your next inhale,

You might say,

This is an old pattern.

And on the exhale,

Today I have a new choice.

Notice how this same issue might have played out in other relationships,

Maybe with a friend who pulled away,

Or partners where you overgave and felt unseen,

And over time,

Resentful,

Or moments where you shut down instead of saying what you really felt.

You might say softly inside,

Of course this feels big.

I learned a long time ago to protect myself here.

See if you can separate what's actually happening from the story your mind begins to build.

What are the facts of this moment?

There's been a sigh.

There's a tone.

There's a delayed response.

And what are the meanings that you automatically add?

Begin to explore that in your mind's eye.

You're not trying to argue with your feelings.

You're simply noticing that they are shaped by where you came from.

The heart and the mind want to connect the dots to protect you,

But often end up filling in the picture with old stories that are no longer true.

What changes if you were able to say to yourself,

I see why this hurts for me.

No wonder this is a trigger.

I can see where it started.

Imagine yourself taking one small different step.

Instead of snapping back,

You breathe and speak more slowly.

Instead of going silent,

Maybe you share,

That landed really hard for me.

Instead of chasing reassurance,

You offer some to yourself.

You're not trying to fix your entire history in one moment.

You're gently updating your emotional blueprint.

One pause.

One reflection.

One breath.

One new response at a time.

In this inner pause,

You notice the space between what they did and what you're about to do.

See yourself answering from who you are now,

Not from the old hurt.

So maybe your voice is calmer.

Maybe you simply say,

I need a moment,

And then I want to circle back to this.

Maybe you choose to speak one clear truth instead of shutting down or building a story within your own mind.

Take a moment to notice how this new response feels in your body.

Maybe a sense of I showed up in a way that feels more like me.

As you picture the days ahead,

You can imagine that each time a familiar pattern appears,

You have a little more choice,

A little more spaciousness in your body.

Sometimes you might catch it early,

And sometimes you'll notice it after the fact.

Both are a part of the practice.

You're not aiming for perfection.

You're learning to stay closer to yourself with a new awareness.

Even when I feel a lot,

I don't have to get lost in it.

Even when old patterns rise,

I have the room to choose again.

I can care about this relationship instead of carrying all of this relationship.

I can let go of expecting others to heal part of my past and give myself what I've needed all along.

Your relationship blueprint is already beginning to update.

Breathing in a sense of gentleness for yourself,

Knowing that you can return to this inner place whenever old patterns feel loud or hurtful.

The more often you pause and come back into that rhythm of breath for yourself,

The more natural these new responses will become.

They'll be right there,

Ready for you.

Know that you can return to this inner place whenever old patterns feel loud or hurtful,

To trust that you are learning to align your body with your heart and respond from who you are becoming instead of how you've always responded.

In that next real moment when love feels hard,

Know that you can draw on this practice.

You are aligning your body and your heart,

Drawing wisdom from what has happened in the past and responding instead from who you are becoming,

How you want to show up in love.

Know that you can return to this inner place whenever old patterns feel hurtful.

The more you pause and breathe with yourself,

The more natural these new responses will become.

And whenever you feel ready,

Gently opening your eyes and returning to your space,

Trust that your relationship blueprint is already updating.

In the next real moment when love feels hard,

That you can access the alignment between heart and body to respond from a place of intention instead of reaction.

Know that you can return to this inner place whenever old patterns feel hurtful.

The more often you pause and connect with yourself,

The more natural these new responses will become.

And whenever you're ready,

Gently open your eyes and return to your space,

Bringing this inner rehearsal with you into the next real moment that needs your courage and your care.

Taking a breath into this,

Letting your nervous system feel what it's like to stay with your body,

To stay with your breath,

To honor your truth.