Equanimity Practice

This is an adapted equanimity practice using the Tibetan tonglen practice (giving and taking). A really nice chill meditation to promote common humanity and social cohesion. This couldn't be more needed in an often polarised world!

Transcript

So we're going to do an equanimity meditation now.

This will take the form of friends,

Enemies and strangers,

Which is adapted from a Tibetan Buddhist Mahayana concept.

We're going to be using tonglen,

Which is traditional taking and giving meditation.

It's as if we're going to take on people's suffering and then replace it with a kind of cool,

Pacifying,

Virtuous energy.

And these can be good qualities like compassion or love,

Joy,

Whatever you want this person to feel in the moment.

So there are two big concepts here.

The first equanimity is seen as a very calming,

Kind of balanced state of mind.

That regardless of whatever arises,

The good,

The bad and the ugly,

Is that the mind is somehow able to respond evenly,

In an even-tempered way,

Towards all phenomena.

So it takes a closer look at your own discrimination faculties really,

Your own concepts of like,

Dislike and neutrality.

We're kind of suspending those and responding equally with compassion,

For no matter what arises.

So that's what is happening internally to us.

And then as we externalise this,

We are then able to attend to a friend,

An enemy or a stranger in equal capacity.

As typically,

You know,

We like our friends and we don't like our enemies or people we're not fond of.

And that will dictate how we behave.

With equanimity,

What we're trying to do is neutralise these feelings so everyone,

All beings are treated equally.

So it's an internal and an external thing.

And we're going to be doing that by using tonglen,

Which is Tibetan for taking and giving,

Or giving and taking.

Essentially,

What I'm going to do in the meditation is kind of ask you to manifest first a friend and then an enemy and then a stranger or a stranger and then an enemy.

There's no particular right order.

And what we're going to be doing is we're kind of imagining as if we're taking on the suffering of this person in front of us and then replacing it with a cool,

Pacifying,

Compassion,

Love,

Joy,

Or whatever qualities you think that person needs.

So we're like imagining as we're breathing in this kind of thick,

Dark,

Smoky sensation of all our suffering and all our ills,

Maybe physical,

Mental,

Whatever it is,

We're taking that on.

And then as we breathe out,

We're breathing into their body,

This kind of cool,

Pacifying,

Vibrant energy,

Healing quality.

So that's the aim of this short meditation.

Okay,

So if you'd just like to close your eyes if you haven't done so already and take some deep breaths through the nostrils.

Really steadying yourself now,

Grounding yourself in the present moment.

Allowing all concepts,

Thoughts,

Mental images,

Noises,

Et cetera,

Just to be and just to see if we can let all of it go and come into ourself in introspective quality.

We'll focus solely on our breathing.

As we breathe in,

Observing the sensations,

And then as we breathe out.

Maybe observing a cool,

Dry sensation as we inhale.

And then a kind of warm,

Moister sensation as we exhale.

Completely relaxing the body,

Whether we're sitting on a chair or on the floor or lying down.

Just feeling rooted in this present moment.

So once you've stabilized some form of concentration and focus,

I'd like you to imagine and visualize a friend or a loved one or someone you're fond of.

Just bring them to your mind and imagine them as if they're sitting one or two meters away in front of you.

It's best as possible trying to get a realistic picture of this person in your mind.

Not trying too hard.

Just imagine them sitting there.

Okay,

So now with our breathing,

Instead of focusing on the subtle sensations of our own breath,

We're now imagining as if we are breathing in this person in front of us.

We're breathing in all their suffering or ills,

Either physical or mental,

All their pain,

Sorrow.

And as we breathe out,

We replace this energy with a kind of a pacifying,

Soothing,

Healing quality full of love,

Joy,

Etc.

So repeating this process almost as if when we breathe in,

It's like a dark,

Smoky,

Suffocating sensation.

And then as we breathe out,

It's kind of a light,

Pacifying quality.

Really as best possible kind of taking on that person's suffering and then transforming it with our own goodness or our own imagined ideas of pure love and joy.

So we're really connecting on a human level to this individual.

Just imagine them there,

Sitting.

Okay,

So now we're going to imagine them there,

Sitting,

Imagining us taking on,

Breathing in,

As if withdrawing from their own nostrils,

All their pain,

All the things that have happened to them,

Maybe their pain,

Sorrows,

Grief.

Breathing in,

Willingly,

Openly taking this on.

And then as we exhale,

We are transforming this quality into a light,

Joyous energy.

We're breathing that back into their bodies and leaving them healing,

Soothing and content.

So now I want you to replace this person.

Allow them to maybe sit behind you,

Next to you.

And now I want you to conjure up an imagined person that we will label stranger.

So this can be someone that you've just passed in the street,

Someone who's just served you food at the restaurant,

Or in a shop,

Complete,

Nobody to you.

And imagine them just sitting there in front of you,

One or two meters away.

And now we repeat the process,

Imagining all the things that might have happened to this individual,

Or that will happen,

The fact that they will get old,

Get sick,

And maybe they experience pain,

Trauma.

And if we imagine just giving us same quality of attention to this person too,

As we breathe in,

This thick,

Suffocating,

Almost dark kind of energy,

And then replacing it with our own white light,

Calm,

Soothing,

And content.

So sit with this person for a minute or two.

Okay,

So maybe allow this person to sit next to you,

Behind you,

Or just to let them go.

And now we're going to do probably the hardest part,

Is trying to evoke someone in your life that's causing you difficulty,

That has caused you distress in the past.

Or someone you don't like,

Maybe it's a political figure,

Or someone that you find difficult to be around.

And these too are human beings wishing to be happy,

And for whatever reason,

It's causing you distress,

Either intentionally or unintentionally.

Whatever the reason may be,

For this exercise we too want to try and imagine them in front of us,

One or two metres away.

And we too want to take on the suffering of this individual,

And replace that with love,

With kindness,

Because we recognise these too deserve happiness.

This may be a little bit more challenging for you,

It might evoke some kind of different sensations in your breathing and body.

That's okay,

Just acknowledge that.

And don't try too hard,

Maybe replace the person if it gets too much.

But let's try now,

Breathing in their suffering,

All the pain,

Maybe caught reasons why they're acting the way they do,

Or reasons why they said things,

Etc.

And breathing out contentment,

Peace,

Harmony.

Imagining they have all the qualities that they need to be happy,

As if we're doing that for them.

Breathing in a thick,

Smoky,

Dark,

Light,

Suffering,

And breathing out this white,

Vibrant light,

Replacing their entire body with peace.

So now imagine a friend to the left,

A stranger to the middle,

And the enemy or person you don't like to the right,

Just sitting in front of you in a row,

Lined up.

And you're extending the same feelings of compassion and happiness for everyone,

Regardless of their relationship to you.

And if you wish,

You can extend these feelings to the whole,

Wider community,

And even world,

To incorporate as many people as possible,

As if you're breathing in all the darkness of the world together,

And then breathing out peace,

Harmony,

Social cohesion,

Strengthening kinship with humanity.

Okay,

So you can end the meditation,

And gently open your eyes,

And acknowledge here that what we've done is quite tricky,

Quite challenging,

And not something we do every day.

But we've intentionally evoked someone we like,

Dislike,

And find neutral in a bid to extend common humanity towards all.

We've done so using tonglen,

Giving and taking.

And hopefully that feeling of equanimity towards others will remain with us for as long as possible.

So I'd recommend trying this for as much as you can,

But not beating yourself up if it's too difficult.

If you find it difficult to extend feelings of love,

Etc.

,

To people you dislike,

That's maybe natural,

And don't be too hard on yourself.

But gradually,

As a process,

You may find that you have a natural kind of kinship towards everyone,

The more you try it.

Thank you.

Reviews

I enjoyed this meditation Thank you ! 😊🙏

Thank you. I appreciate the way you've shared this practice. 🙏🏽🌻

Really pleasant, a new favorite. Ty.

Supremely difficult to imagine your enemy sitting in front of you, and you treating them with loving kindness. Very very hard!🙏🏽☮️💫

I am focused on a person in my life who has actually held all 3 positions in my heart very recently so practiced equanimity with him in each persona. Very interesting. Offering it for benefit to all.

Really enjoyed this! 🙏🏻

Tricky but worth it! 🙏

One of my favourite practices on Insight. Joey has a great voice and it helps me to reset.

Great guidance. I will keep working with self-compassion so that I can be more compassionate towards the different figures that appear through this meditation. Thank you🙏🏻.

Really challenging, but it's a good exercise in equanimity. I recommend!

Enjoyed this meditation. Equanimity + Tonglen = 👍