When we begin to work with ourselves in positive ways,
Like exercise,
Diet or maybe even meditation,
At some point we will be challenged,
Not only from people and the environment around us,
But from our own inner critic.
The self-critical voice loves to put you down and stop you from doing things,
Preventing change from happening and generally getting in the way.
It loves to make you feel bad and encourages negative behaviour.
It would like nothing more than to help you give up.
The good news is that you are not alone.
We can all be self-critical.
It seems to be part of western human nature.
Some are loud and some are very quiet,
Whispering in the background like an old radio.
But they exist in our minds and play havoc with our confidence to do things.
They can make us feel like we don't fit in or we don't have the right skills or the ability to do things we would like to do.
It is as if they hold us back in some kind of invisible bond.
We have to face this critic at some point as it will continue to sabotage our efforts.
It is part of who we are and at some point it became a separate entity in our minds.
One way of dealing with it is integration.
This means taking the time to communicate with this part and discovering what it is that it is trying to do for you.
The funny thing is that when you do communicate with this critic you might discover that it was for a positive reason.
For example to keep you safe or to prevent you from emotional harm.
So take the time to sit and be quiet and ask for this inner critic to show itself in your imagination or on a chair nearby.
Notice what you see.
Maybe a younger version of yourself,
Maybe something you don't like.
It is okay.
You remain calm with kindness for this entity that you see.
Now you can ask what it is it is trying to do for you when it is being critical.
How is it trying to help you?
Maybe you can reassure it that you appreciate that it is trying to help but it might be doing it in the wrong way.
Maybe it could think of more positive ways to help and support you.
Watch and listen to what it is doing.
Another question would be what is it that it wants?
Again listen to try to understand its past behaviour.
Next ask what it really needs.
This is the most important part.
Whatever it needs you can give it.
You can imagine that you are the thing that it needs like love or safety and allow this to fill the body of the critic sensing when it has had enough.
And then you can invite it to integrate or to merge with yourself allowing space,
Love and kindness for this to happen.
Just take your time and repeat the process when the self-critical voice rises again.
