Today,
I'd like to try a little journaling exercise.
So what we're going to do is just find a quiet place where you'll be undisturbed,
Grab a couple of sheets of paper,
A notebook,
A journal,
And something to write with.
Now settle in wherever it is that you are,
And let's take a couple of breaths together.
Deep in breath from the belly and slow out breath.
Now let's do that again.
Deep in breath,
Slow out breath.
Now we're just going to start thinking about what we're going to write.
And you know,
When you start,
Don't worry about what you're going to say or how it sounds.
Don't worry about your handwriting.
Just let the words flow freely and keep writing no matter what.
Even if all you have to say is,
I don't know what to write.
I don't know what to write.
I don't know what to write.
That's okay.
Write that down.
As your mind relaxes,
More will come to you.
Now this exercise is a self-compassion exercise called treat yourself as a friend.
So I'd like you to think of a time that a friend made a mistake or was just really struggling with something.
Write down what that issue was.
Now as your best self,
Write down what you would say to your friend to make them feel a little better.
How would you respond to them about this mistake or issue that they had?
Remember if you don't know what to say,
Keep writing.
And if you do know what to say,
Keep writing.
Now I'd like you to think about the last time you were struggling or made a mistake.
Again,
Think of something small to medium in size,
Just something that kind of bugs you a little bit,
And write that down.
Now I'd like to have you put yourself back when you made that mistake.
What did you say to yourself then?
Write it down so you can draw it out of your head.
If you have to write it a couple of times or it changes as you're writing,
That's okay.
Sometimes it helps here to think of yourself as a third person,
Observing from a distance what's happening and taking notes.
Really try to feel in your body how it felt and what you said to yourself.
Were you judgmental or critical?
Were you supportive?
Now I'd like you to pause for a moment and think,
What could you do differently to treat yourself the same way you would a good friend?
What would a really good friend say to make you feel better about this situation?
Write that down.
What would your friend say to you?
Now I'd like you to go back and read over what you said to your friend in the first instance,
What you said to yourself,
And what a friend would say to you when you've made a mistake.
Do you see maybe that your self-talk could be kinder,
Just as you would be to a friend in a similar situation?
When we have this perspective,
We can understand so much more about how we treat ourselves when we're kind and when we're not kind,
And we can be a little more self-compassionate towards ourselves.
Starting with these smaller instances,
Getting practice,
Replaying things in our heads to see how could I have been kinder to myself in this situation?
As we build up that compassion muscle,
We start to realize that we can be more compassionate to ourselves,
And that makes us happier.
Give it a try.
