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This is Living Lightly with Jenny Light.
Yogic philosophy,
Guided meditations and pranayamas.
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Welcome to today's session.
Enjoy.
Good evening and welcome to tonight's session on dealing with difficult people.
I think we all can recognise that difficult people in our lives,
And I think the majority of those tend to be family because you can't get away from them.
You have been drawn together to karmically work out something.
Karma is bringing you together.
It's a bit like clashing swords at times,
But that's because it's necessary.
And I'd also like to talk about agency here,
That you have chosen this,
That these are the allotted people that perhaps you've been with in many many incarnations,
But you're coming back to deal with some aspect that you have an imbalance in.
I'm not going into specifics here,
But if you have an imbalance with somebody,
Then when it's usually family,
Then you can pretty well be sure it's a karma thing,
That one or other of you has done wrong to the other in the past,
And you're here to kind of make that balance.
So bear in mind that you've been drawn together because you each have something that you can have resolve out of this.
I want to bring into the kind of bigger picture the fact that Shakespeare had it right when he said that all the world's a stage and we are just players on it,
And sometimes you're centre stage for a while and sometimes you're in the wings.
We're all starring in our own role in this story of life,
And sometimes it is your turn to be centre stage,
And sometimes it's your turn to let someone else be centre stage,
But the majority of the time is that we're so busy caught up starring in our own role.
So busy we think the world revolves around us,
And I know that at times you feel that other people think the world rolls around them,
But we all tend to be starring at our own drama and we forget that everyone else is actually caught up in theirs.
Therefore people are speaking and acting always from their own ego-driven needs.
So dealing with difficult people we have to realise first of all that that person may be acting in habitual karmic ways,
But from an ego-driven basis,
But their soul will be on this act that they're putting on of acting in a particular habitual way,
Beyond that,
Within that,
Behind that,
They're a soul.
They are that spark of divine consciousness,
The same that you are,
The same is through everyone and everything.
The only thing is you can have cognizance of that because you're on the path,
But they might not have.
So the first rule in dealing with difficult people is to recognise first of all that they're a soul,
And that they may be lost,
They may be lost in their own drama.
They can't look in because they're too busy looking out through the eyes of the particular role that they're playing,
And they don't realise,
They haven't reached that stage on the path to realise that they are that soul consciousness.
But the fact that you do means that you can act in a particular way that is harmonious between the two of you.
That may mean at times to step back is interesting because I had a conversation today with someone who was finding it very tough dealing with her partner,
That he made her feel in a particular way that she was belittled or made to feel small.
I found it quite interesting because she recognises,
She's spiritual insight,
So she recognises some aspects of that,
The fact that she can step back.
And my counsel to her was to just say,
Well,
Not to take on board what someone else is imposing on you.
If you take it on board,
You've ingested it,
It's not out there being given to you,
You've brought it into your being.
It's to just not take it on board and to say,
I'm not taking that,
And we can just agree to disagree.
So rather than allow yourself to ingest a harmful statement,
It's just to agree to disagree.
So that means that at times you're going to be at loggerheads with people,
So you're going to have each person starting in their own role.
And when you become so entrenched in acting a habitual way and if you're not meditating regularly,
You can forget that you're actually the soul and not the ego.
That you can be at loggerheads at times,
And the best thing to do then is rather than argue,
Rather than become angry,
Which only exacerbates it,
Is to step back and say you agree to disagree.
I had an interesting event,
I was at an event in Glasgow and I had someone coming up to the exhibition table I was behind and she was really quite irate.
It was only when she started speaking that I realised that she was someone that was wanting a fight.
And the very best thing you can do with someone that's wanting a fight is not to give them it.
Which meant I physically stood back from the table after I realised that all she wanted was the fight.
I stood back from the table and I just placed my hands in front of myself,
That physical step back,
And I just waited for her to finish speaking.
And I said,
Well,
Just to agree to disagree.
And she wanted the last word.
That's the other thing that's quite hard to learn,
Is to allow someone just to have the last word,
Because I already had my last word.
Because I wasn't in the game anymore.
You see what I mean?
And it is a game.
Step back.
And I felt very regal.
And she didn't know what to do because I was no longer,
Her argument's all petered out.
So it's to realise if there's a confrontation going on,
That you have a choice,
You can continue to collude in that game,
Because it is a game.
And it's an ego-driven game.
And actually you're not in control.
You're a pawn of your own ego.
Never mind the other person.
You're a pawn of your own ego.
That you can step back and make a choice,
Which is that it is not letting the other person win.
You've already made your standpoint.
So it's stronger than just allowing them to win,
Because you've already stood back.
Fools argue,
Wise men discuss.
So I wonder at which point a discussion becomes an argument.
So when the emotions run away,
That is the time that both of you have lost in an argument.
To remain calm,
Even though you can feel that the other person is rattling your cage and they are trying quite hard to get a response,
Is not to give it.
Is it the love of winning that you're still wanting to continue that argument?
Is it because you are absolutely dogmatic about getting your point across?
If the other person's the same,
Then it's a clashing of horns.
But the law of karma is why you can step back.
You don't need to win that argument.
Your winning of the argument is going to be to act as Gandhi did.
To meet that with the path of impassive,
Non-harming.
That's words,
Actions,
Thoughts.
This to act in a way that is passive and non-responsive,
Because you're not perpetuating that argument.
The law of karma is why you can trust to step back,
Because there's a greater law in process here that will actually take care of that argument for you.
And the fact that the other person,
When continuing,
Incrues more karma.
That all has to.
.
.
It's absolutely exact,
The law of karma.
As you sow,
So shall you reap inexactitude.
That other person or group or whatever are going to have to work that out in some way or other over several lifetimes.
So I wouldn't worry about whether or not you're perceived to be right to step back.
Choose another time,
Choose another day to have that discussion and allow it to just be that discussion.
The law of karma as well,
Not to be too heavy about it,
As meditators and as using yoga techniques,
You are burning away that karma.
You're purifying it.
So those souls that run in light of the light of the light of the light and are not on this path are still having to process it in a methodical way.
Karma has been brought about because of acting in a way that was against one of God's laws,
The Ten Commandments or the Yamas and Niyamas.
Then that has to be a redress in some way.
I sound very dictatorial here,
God the Father is very dictatorial but it isn't.
It's actually been done,
It's a very loving relationship in actual fact.
That all has to be redress in some way or other.
So you can either be doing the meditation,
Processing it or doing it long hand,
Bit of a long haul.
Right,
So in dealing with difficult people we're going to use the skills of meditation to give us that aloofness,
That otherness,
So that the situation that's arising between the two of you,
Or for several people,
That situation,
You are not in that charged atmosphere.
You have an aloofness to it,
You can see it from what it is.
This is if you're looking down on it from the brow,
From the head,
Rather than feeling it in a very visceral sense,
That's the seat of the emotions.
So we're learning objectivity today to be able to stand back.
So we have that universal truth though that the laws of God that are the right and if we real against that then we incur karma.
So coming into meditation posture,
Allowing the spine to be upright,
And the first thing we're going to do is to tense the whole body,
That includes fists,
Feet into the floor.
Tense,
Breathe in,
Relax.
Tense,
Breathe in,
And relax to breathe out.
Tense,
Breathe in,
And relax to let go.
That includes the belly.
Next time we're breathing in no tension,
And breathing out,
Imagine that you're washing all that tension away.
So first of all,
Taking your awareness into that shaft of light in the spine,
And then allowing your shaft of light,
Your grounding cords to flow down from the tailbone down into the earth,
Way through the bedrock into the golden light in the centre of the planet,
And allowing your cords to connect into that golden light.
And as soon as they do,
You can let down you can let all that toxin,
Tension,
Static,
Flow down into that golden light,
Or a golden pool of light.
It may be perceived as light or it may be perceived as golden water,
And allowing all that tension to flow away,
Much like ink flowing into beer water,
But as soon as that flows free into the water it's instantly transmuted back into pure,
Clear,
Golden light.
And just allowing that flow to continue,
We can feel over full at times that there isn't the capacity to find that quiet within,
Because we are too contained with this static,
Tension,
Toxin.
And if you're finding it hard to let go,
Then it may be even using an affirmation.
I let go of all that no longer serves me.
I allow myself to find peace.
And perhaps there is an awareness of letting go towards the front of the body,
But also letting go towards the back,
And the left,
And the right.
And then golden light flowing up from your roots,
Up through the spine to the back of the heart,
Golden light circulating around the back of the heart,
Golden light flowing up through the neck and head,
Out through a skylight on the crown of the head,
To connect with the pure white star above the head,
Being bathed in starlight.
Pure,
Clear,
Starlight,
Washing the face,
Washing the back of the head,
Washing the chest and the back,
Washing over arms and hands,
Washing over belly,
Legs and feet,
Being bathed in a shower of starlight,
Cleansing and clearing the entire auric field.
Auric field.
And then cleansing down the back,
So this pure starlight then flows in through the crown of the head,
Cleansing and clearing in the brain,
In the throat,
And down the spine.
And then be aware that you are breathing softly,
And inhale and exhale,
Being aware of whether you are breathing into the belly or into the chest,
And assessing whether your belly is relaxed.
Allowing the exhale to become longer.
Allow the exhale to become even longer by creating a pause halfway through the exhale.
And then allowing the exhale to become even longer by creating a pause halfway through the exhale.
So that as you breathe out you are breathing out a long breath and then hold the breath slightly,
There's a pause and then continue to breathe out.
So just playing with that pause and the breath.
So the inhale is normal length and the exhale is longer and helping to have that longer breath by having a pause in the middle of the exhale.
And then the next time that you breathe out you are working on the prana mudra breath.
So this is to bring the fingertips towards the pubic bone.
And then as you breathe in you are drawing that prana up in the shaft of the spine,
Up the front of the body through each one of the chakras to open out either side of the head.
And then as you breathe out you're again drawing your fingers down the midline of the body through the chakras to rest back towards the pubic bone.
But before we do that I'd like you to visualize that shaft of light in the spine.
So have this standpoint,
The viewpoint of being in the head.
So we have that horizontal shaft of light that runs from the back of the head to the brow.
And if you come to the center of that horizontal shaft of light,
That's asana chakra,
That if you look down that shaft of light of the spine then you can see all the colours of the rainbow.
You can see a pale blue,
Blue where the throat is,
Green or pink at the heart,
Yellow at the navel,
Orange at the sacrum and red at the base.
So it's a bit like looking through the colours,
The translucent colours of the rainbow.
I'd like you to have that understanding,
That awareness of the colours in the spine as we do the pranamudra breath.
So first of all being aware that the body breathes and what its normal length of breath is.
And then the next time you breathe out have the fingers positioned to draw them up the midline of the body as if you had the fingers trailing in the water the golden light of the spine.
So next time you breathe in drawing the fingers up the midline of the body as if through the spine to awaken either side of the head and looking slightly up as if you are being bathed in the light of the crown,
That golden light.
And then when you're ready to breathe out drawing the fingers down the midline of the body visualising that you're drawing them through the light of the spine.
So we're aiming for about six breaths and we'll have it continuous.
So as soon as you've come back down breathing in again draw the fingers up the midline of the body as if trailing them through the light in the spine.
Opening either side of the head hold the breath looking towards the crown as if you're basking in golden light and breathing out to draw that the fingers back down through the spine.
Next time you breathe in continue breathing in drawing up really feel that you're trailing the fingers through the light the rainbow light in the spine opening either side of the crown and breathing out to come back down.
Another couple of times.
So and then allowing the breath to go be aware that you are viewing from the head looking forward not through the physical eyes but from the higher viewpoint which is from the brow.
I'd like you to visualise that you are standing on a little hill and there's a gentle breeze blowing up from the sea and you can watch that breeze as it comes up from the sea in waves as it flows through the grass all around.
Up above you can see that there are one or two white clouds in the sky and that they are fairly scudding along.
The breeze lifts your hair as if to tease all the tension from your scalp and all those myriad thoughts to gently blow them away.
Until you are aware that you are allowing yourself to let go.
We can hold on to being right or we can let go.
And as you watch in the sky you can see that there is one particular cloud that is coming towards you and it's pink and as that cloud comes towards you as it comes nearer it starts to descend until that cloud is sitting in front of you.
And you can take any heavy weight or unresolvable or seemingly unresolvable situations and place them in the pink cloud.
The pink cloud no matter how much you pile into it always remains buoyant,
Light.
Until you're getting back down to the crux of why you're holding on to all this stuff.
There's nothing to do with the situation or situations themselves.
It's to do with something that you're holding on to.
So as you get rid of all the other distractions you're left with the core matter itself.
And this one is surprisingly small but dense.
And exploring whether you can actually hand that over as well.
Placing it in the pink cloud.
Placing it in the pink cloud.
And then the pink cloud lifts up and away and moves past you and has gone beyond the horizon.
And you are left feeling light,
Feeling free and also full of possibilities.
And then we are calling on Saint Germain and the Angels of the Violet Flame to help us be cleaned on a deep level.
I'll read it,
I'll say out the affirmation three times so you can think it.
Auric Field.
I hereby call on Saint Germain and the Angels of the Violet Flame to place me in the gold silver violet flame to cleanse and clear my entire auric field.
I hereby call on Saint Germain and the Angels of the Violet Flame to place me in the gold silver violet flame to cleanse and clear my entire auric field.
Thank you,
Thank you,
Thank you.
It is done,
It is done,
It is done.
The violet flame is a very high divine dispensation to clear,
To move that which is difficult to move.
You can visualize yourself in that cool violet flame being purified,
Karma being purified.
And then we are finishing with a positive affirmation.
I am awake.
I am at peace.
I am filled with hope and possibility.
I am awake.
I am at peace.
I am filled with hope and all possibilities.
I am awake.
I am at peace.
I am filled with hope and all possibilities.
I have the strength and wisdom to speak when I must speak,
To act when I must act,
To act and to walk away when that is the right thing.
And then being aware of the body breathing,
Being aware of the spine upright,
Being aware of that brimming cup of hope and possibilities,
And that wisdom to know when to speak,
When to act and when to step away.
That you are given the cup of wisdom.
Each situation is unique,
But with that wisdom,
That discernment,
You know when your heart ought to do.
And then allowing the body to breathe a little bit more deeply,
Moving hands,
Moving feet,
Coming back into the room,
Rubbing the hands together to create a heat in the hands,
Cupping the hands over the closed eyes.
And again affirming to yourself,
I am awake,
I am aware.
I am at peace.
And then going back into the room.
And I wish you the wisdom to extend that peace wherever you go.
It's an internal quality.
It's not necessarily an external state of being,
But an internal quality.
Om Shanti Peace
