Turning 60 part one.
Reconciling the past.
This past year I turned 60 years old.
Woohoo!
I know I'm lucky.
After all,
Not everyone gets here.
My older brother and sister did not.
They both passed away long ago.
So at the top of my list of reconciling is the fact that I have been given a gift.
Even those mornings when everything creaks and groans and getting out of bed takes longer than it used to,
I remember to be grateful.
Because I remember there are many who had hoped and planned for this time of life only to have it all end before they got here.
Reconciling the past doesn't mean disregarding everything that has come before.
In fact,
It's the opposite.
Reconciling the past means bringing in all that you've learned,
Felt,
Experienced,
Lost,
Loved,
Longed for,
Grieved,
And celebrated in your life.
Reconciling the past means that you acknowledge and accept the dark creepy crawlies of your inner self,
The shadow,
The critic,
And the traumatized child.
Your shadow self,
The place in your heart that is still dark,
Where you haven't yet let light shine.
It's a place created decades ago designed to protect you from the scary known or unknown that you encountered or imagined you would.
The inner critic,
The voice in your head that owns the phrase,
I'm not blank enough.
Use whatever word you want to fill in the blank.
I'm not young enough.
I'm not pretty enough.
I'm not smart enough.
I'm not successful enough.
I'm not enough.
Reconciling the inner critic with the inner mentor,
The part of you that seeks growth rather than shame or blame means spending time with both.
Within one lives the other.
They reside in a similar place and it's your choice which one you give the floor to.
That knowledge has been an expansive opportunity for me in my journey and the traumatized child,
The one who wasn't given the opportunity to experience a sense of security and safety in early childhood at a time when it was most important for you and for your future growth.
For me,
With time,
I created my own,
But the lack of it in early developmental years stunted many of my relationships with others and even myself from that point forward.
It also meant I would seek it in some form or another throughout my life.
Reconciling my past has meant forgiving myself for how I treated those I loved and how I allowed myself to be treated in the name of it.
Henry Ford was famous for saying,
Whether you think you can or you think you can't,
You're right.
Reconciling the past means letting go of anything you didn't accomplish that you thought you should have by a certain age.
It means finding deep abiding gratitude within your heart for all that was and all that is.
These past six decades have been remarkable.
I've done many things.
I grew up in a small town,
Started my first business at age 16,
Drove by myself to California at 18,
Experienced homelessness,
And at the same time,
The tremendous kindness of strangers.
I've been to some amazing music festivals and Burning Man.
I've known love,
Have born and raised two children,
Experienced divorce,
Death,
Failure,
And success.
I've been to national parks and national monuments.
I've scaled mountains in Colorado and Utah with a rope,
Camped under the stars,
And traveled Europe and the United States.
I've sailed on a small boat and a cruise ship,
Learned to drive and speak Italian and American Sign Language.
I bet you've led a remarkable life if you think about it.
Most of us just go through our years,
Raise our kids,
Suffer and exalt as time and events dictate without reflecting on any of it.
But now is the perfect time to reflect.
Think of all you've done.
Your story is remarkable to those who love you and want to know you better,
I promise.
Share it.
With age comes wisdom.
And in all that time and wisdom,
I've learned about perception and perspective and how extremely important these two things are in silencing or at least disempowering my inner critic.
Probably most importantly,
Reconciling the past means forgiving.
Forgiving perceived wrongs against me,
Forgiving myself for wronging anyone else,
Forgiving for accepting less than I deserved because I didn't believe I deserved it.
It means letting go of grudges.
Grudges held are held against you,
Not the other person.
Remember that.
They only take up space in your heart that could be served better with love.
I've learned that in this life,
We can either focus the bulk of our time on growth or on fear.
Growth mindset means moving forward,
Accepting what comes without expectation,
Embracing change as it comes at us and understanding that what is meant for me will come to me.
Through all of my life's ups and downs,
Pain and joy,
I've learned that ultimately the universe does conspire in my favor and wants what's best for me.
Maybe you're 60 or will soon turn that age.
Maybe you're only halfway there seeking pearls of wisdom from an older soul,
But whatever brought you to this audio,
This is what I would say to you.
Your time here is finite.
In fact,
Each day that passes is one less that you have.
So no matter where you are on your journey,
Remember it is not the destination or any given day that matters most.
It's the path you chose to get there and the footfalls you made along the way.
Ultimately,
At the end of your days,
To have lived each and every one with some degree of gratitude and a desire to spark joy will have made the trip more than worthwhile.
