Hello.
Today I want to talk about feelings,
Especially in this time period that we're all in.
Leaning into our feelings can feel scary and overwhelming.
And I know I've heard from a multitude of people that there's concern that the feelings will wash over us and will be flooded and we won't be able to get out.
So often we choose to distract or numb or not attend to the feelings that are trying to rise to the surface.
And even though in the moment that can seem like the best thing to do,
It actually keeps those feelings sitting inside of us like undigested food,
And they don't go away,
But they end up leaking out in ways that we don't really want them to.
And they end up controlling us.
Because if we're afraid of something happening inside of us,
Then a lot of our time and energy goes to not touching that space.
So I want to give you a succinct way to enter into experiencing and being with your feelings.
And I promise you relief will come.
So sometimes the opposite of what we imagine will happen happens when we go inside.
If we allow space for feeling and we allow it to come,
It will and then it will also go.
Feelings are like waves crashing on the sand.
The wave needs to come so that it can recede.
But if we do everything in our power to hold the wave back,
Then the pressure just gets more and more intense.
And we need more and more strength to push it away.
So here's my favorite way to be with feelings.
This is something that definitely takes practice.
The more you do it,
The easier it becomes and the easier to access deeper parts of yourself becomes as well.
So think of APS GSR,
APS GSR.
That's how you can remember.
The A stands for accept the feeling.
So if you feel that something's trying to come forth,
Anxiety,
Sadness,
Worry,
Whatever it is,
Just accept that it's there.
Now this can be really difficult because we want to push those things away or minimize them or pretend that they're not real.
But this first part is really important.
Accept that something's there,
Even if you don't quite know what it is yet,
Or you're not quite sure how to name it.
Just noticing that there's something going on inside of you that might be uncomfortable or that might be trying to come to the surface is really important.
So that's the A.
Accept the feeling.
The P stands for pay attention.
So now that you notice something is there,
Start to look at it.
How do you know something is there?
Maybe you feel a tightness in the chest.
Maybe you feel tension in the shoulders.
Maybe you have butterflies in your stomach or lump in the throat,
Or your hands feel hot.
So without deciding if these things are allowed or not,
Or good or bad,
You're just paying attention to what is happening inside of you,
What sensations you're experiencing.
Spend some time noticing.
And then the third letter is S for slow down.
So this is a really important part.
If we're not used to sitting with our feelings,
They can feel really scary,
And we want to escape them and try to run away.
So in order for us to get more comfortable and proficient at being with what's inside of us,
We need to learn how to slow down.
So you're paying attention with these feelings.
You're accepting them.
And you're slowing down to give yourself space to feel them.
This might mean you need to leave a room where other people are or you need to shut your computer screen down,
Turn off your phone.
This is time to be spent with the self.
Slow down the breath.
Really take your time here and let yourself gather information about what you're experiencing.
The fourth letter is G.
And G stands for go with it,
Or give way to the feeling.
So instead of running away or trying to distract oneself or minimize the feeling,
You're actually inviting the experience of the feeling to come in its fullest capacity.
Now this can feel really scary if this is your first time doing it.
So just go as far as feels okay for you.
When you're learning how to swim you don't jump into the deepest part of the ocean right away.
So that may mean just closing your eyes,
Sitting in the sensations you're experiencing,
Breathing into them.
I like to visualize myself turning toward whatever feeling is there with warmth and inviting it to come into my consciousness.
And then the fifth letter is S again and this time it means stay with it until completion.
So like I said feelings come like waves,
And then they recede.
So if you stay with the feeling for long enough,
You will find that it will subside.
It may not go away completely but the intensity of the experience will wane.
This part you might need to trust me on a little bit.
So stay with it.
Swim in it.
Feel it,
And try not to attach it to any value,
Good or bad or what it means about yourself.
You're just exploring it with curiosity and compassion.
Give it time.
Sometimes we touch something and we have an intellectual understanding of it and then we go along our merry way.
But what I'm asking here is for you to just spend some time with this experience.
Really feel into it.
And stay with it until you notice that the intensity of the experience starts to lessen.
And then the last letter is R,
And that stands for reflect.
So,
After you've had the experience of being with the feeling,
And you've noticed that the sensations have lessened or you feel that the wave has moved through you.
Now's a good time to reflect on what that experience was like for you,
What it means for you.
When we engage with our feelings in this way,
They can be such powerful tools in terms of the information they give us.
Because they don't control us,
They don't force us to do things that are not aligned with our values.
They also don't scare us.
We let them come,
We experience them,
We learn from them.
And then we can use that information to make more meaningful choices in our lives.
Anger,
Although often seen as a negative emotion,
Can be so powerful.
If we learn to not just react to anger or run from anger,
But experience it and hold it within ourselves,
We come to know why something triggered us,
Why we're angry,
What boundaries we may need to set in our life,
What's really painful for us.
It can give us so much.
Every emotion can give us so much.
So I really appreciate this tool as a way of breaking down the experience of sitting with one's feelings and being able to master them,
Become friends with them,
And then use them to create a better life for ourselves.
I hope this is helpful for you.
Have a sweet day.
