True Intimacy - Open Meeting With Jared

In this Open Meeting, Jared invites us to stop seeking happiness out there and find out who is the seeker. It’s an invitation to be exactly as we are and meet ourselves completely. In this truly intimate meeting, we first encounter the stories we tell about ourselves, the world, and another. But if we stop for long enough, whatever is impermanent will show up, “do a big dance” and eventually go. If we stay quiet enough, we will also discover what doesn't come and go - our True Self.

Transcript

I used to think that if I came to one of these meetings and I sat here with a microphone and everybody sat there staring at me,

That I had to say something.

And I had to say something very important,

Very powerful.

That was going to help you to.

.

.

Who knows what.

At that point,

I'm already lost.

The truth is,

No one's really here to hear me talk.

And I'm not here to talk.

We're actually here for something so much more important and so much bigger and so much more profound than one person,

One meeting,

One experience.

And the truth is I don't know what I'm going to say next and I don't know what to say.

I don't know anything actually that you don't know yourself.

And I have no information for you and no instructions for you,

Nothing extra to add to you,

Nothing for you to take home.

In fact,

If I got my wish,

You would leave here with less than what you arrived with.

That's maybe the essence of this teaching.

That's really not a teaching.

It's an inquiry and an invitation to find out what is real,

To find out what you've been imagining is real,

What you've been devoting your attention to,

What you think you want,

What you think is coming,

Where you think you've come from,

What you think is going on right now,

And to investigate it.

My experience was that I had a lot of those things going on.

There was a lot of story about me and about who I am and about where I came from and where I am now and where I'm definitely going to be going to and what I needed to do,

To achieve,

To see,

To open to in order to get to that place.

And that actually served me because I used that to actually find the breadcrumbs for happiness.

That search for happiness was where my path was leading.

And so in that search for happiness,

I came to a power that was big enough to stop me in my tracks and invite me to inquire who is the one searching for happiness.

And at that time I didn't see it because obviously I was searching for happiness and obviously I wanted to have that happiness at the end of my search.

And luckily I met a teacher who was clear enough and happy enough and had discovered in himself what was true,

That he could ask me the question.

He said to me,

He said,

Stop,

Stop searching for happiness and find out who is the one searching,

Who is the one that is unhappy,

Who is the one that is unfulfilled,

Who is the one that needs love.

And that invitation had a profound effect on me because it stopped me in my tracks.

And I had to look at myself.

I had to ask this question,

Who is the one seeking?

And when I turned my attention inwards,

I found a lot of thoughts,

A lot of emotions,

A lot of ideas,

A lot of beliefs,

And a lot of dissatisfaction,

A lot of doubt,

A lot of fear.

But I couldn't find anybody there.

I couldn't find Jared.

This was shocking to me,

You know,

Because Jared was the one that was seeking.

Jared was the one that brought himself to the feet of a teacher.

Jared was the one that was suffering and was looking for awakening,

Looking for truth,

Looking for happiness.

And so then,

In the true search and in finding a true reflection,

My attention was thrown back into my own mind to see,

Okay,

What happens in an instant,

Just in this instant,

If the mind is completely quiet and completely open and completely empty,

Empty of any past,

Empty of any story,

Even empty of what brought you here?

What if for just a moment there's nothing going on?

No story,

No past,

No future.

Then you can find out who you are.

Because surely you're still here.

Put up your hand if you're not.

Okay,

Good.

So without a story,

Without a history,

Without a path,

I was like this and now I've discovered this and I met this teacher and he told me this and now I'm going to do this.

Without any of that,

No path,

No achievements,

No failures,

No names.

You are still here.

And then there's the possibility to discover what is here.

And what I found is that the only thing that is here is pure presence,

Pure consciousness.

That in stopping this machinery of past and future,

You can still hear my voice,

Can't you?

Just checking.

Hello?

You can feel your body.

We call this,

It really has no name.

We can call it presence,

We can call it consciousness,

We can call it awareness.

But it's right here,

Right now,

It's so direct,

It's so immediate.

And it's here.

And so to check and see when you lose everything,

So if you walk out this door,

If I get my wish,

And you walk out this door stripped of everything except your clothes,

You can keep them.

It's not one of those meetings.

If you walk out that door stripped of everything,

You will discover what you really are.

And so to check and see what is the flavor of pure awareness,

What is the texture of it.

Does pure awareness have any problem right now?

And if it does,

That's what this chair is for.

Does pure awareness need to get something in the future?

Does pure awareness have a problem with anything?

Even fear,

Even sadness,

Even pain,

Even body pain.

Pure awareness.

It's so obvious and simple that if the mind starts to think about it,

Already it's not enough.

Already pure awareness will never be enough for the mind.

Mind needs friction.

Mind is friction,

Which is not a problem.

It's creating imaginary boundaries to help us survive.

It says over there is the danger,

Over there is the safety,

So we go over there.

No problem with that.

We give each other names so that we can call out to each other and they'll know who you're talking about.

Mind is not a problem in and of itself.

The only problem is when mind is used to create a false sense of identity.

Its only problem is when you start to say,

When a thought arises,

Me or I.

Welcome.

So.

.

.

Sometimes I get sick of my own voice.

Welcome.

This is an old church,

Converted church.

It's really cool.

In churches,

You know,

It's.

.

.

Well,

I never really went to churches,

But I went to the Jewish churches,

I went to synagogues.

And my experience was we were taught a 5,

000 year old language,

How to speak it.

But we were never taught what the words meant.

So we would pray every day,

Every morning we would go into the synagogue and we would be speaking this language without knowing what we're saying.

It didn't seem to matter to the teachers that we didn't know what we were saying,

As long as we were doing it.

And the truth is,

I absolutely loved praying when I was a kid.

And I think especially because I didn't know what I was saying.

It was just pure devotion.

You were talking to God,

To some mystery,

Something bigger than yourself.

I'm grateful for that experience.

At a church or a synagogue,

There are people who are closer to God,

Who are the emissaries of God,

Who are there to tell you what to do in order for you to get to heaven.

And this is the way,

The exact same structure of the mind that I started talking about.

It tells you and confirms that there's something not quite right about you to begin with.

That's called in Christianity,

Original Sin.

And it tells you what you have to do in order to make sure that you do the right thing,

So that you will win God's love and get to heaven.

And if you don't do it,

You're in big trouble.

You're to hell.

This is how the mind is structured.

Every mind,

Even if you're not interested in religion.

Still,

Everybody is searching.

Everybody is trying to do the good thing,

The right thing.

If I do this,

I'll be healthy.

If I do this,

I'll be happy.

If I do this,

I'll be lovable.

If I do this,

Somehow it will get me to where I need to go.

How many people have come to a complete stop?

It's the rarest thing.

I've never seen it.

I've seen it maybe three times in my life.

Everybody is terrified to stop.

And yet,

If you come to a complete stop,

What do you think you're going to find?

Accept yourself.

And everybody is looking for themselves.

But there's a sense that my true self at the root is really not good enough.

There's something kind of broken about it.

And so I have to keep working.

Now there's this enlightenment thing.

Whoa.

When I get that,

Then I'll really be okay.

Then I can stop.

When?

When I get enlightenment.

But no,

Don't wait for enlightenment to stop.

Stop now.

Stop everything.

And be exactly as you are.

And meet yourself.

Then you'll meet all of your ideas of yourself.

You'll meet your thoughts about yourself.

You'll meet your stories about yourself.

You'll meet your stories about everybody else.

Your stories about God.

But if you stay with it,

If you stay stopped,

If you don't move,

Keep quiet,

Be very still,

Then whatever is impermanent,

Whatever is coming and going will come,

Do a big dance,

And then it will go.

And then maybe something else,

A wave will come through,

Do a big dance,

A big song and dance,

And then it will go.

And if you stay quiet enough,

You'll without doubt discover what doesn't come and go.

You'll discover what is always here.

And that's the invitation here.

It's to see that if you're looking for fulfillment in the world of objects,

If you're looking for fulfillment in an experience,

In something in the future,

In me going somewhere and getting something and becoming somebody,

You'll just never be happy because it's all based in an already unhappy me that doesn't even exist outside of your mind.

So there's many practices and many things you can do to have a better me,

And some of them are very beautiful.

And it's better to have a better me than a horrible,

Suffering,

Angry,

Upset me.

Better to have a happy me.

But if you're here in this room,

Then I suspect that you want something more than just a little flash,

More than just an experience,

More than just a taste.

And you're maybe sick of chasing something that's always around the corner.

So I confirm that you will never get there.

You'll never get enlightenment.

Oh,

Did everyone feel that relief when I said that?

So you can just stop here,

Right where you are,

Fully unenlightened,

Just like me.

Then you forget about everything you've read and everything you've heard and everything somebody sitting in this exact chair has told you.

And instead of listening to what other people are telling you,

You find out what's naturally,

Naturally shining here now,

Effortlessly.

Just radiating.

Can you feel it?

I can feel it from you.

Can you feel it?

And the thing is that this is what everybody wants.

This is the experience when you have a moment where,

Let's say,

You get what you want.

You find the partner or whatever it is.

You get the job,

You buy the house,

You have the orgasm or whatever it is.

What happens is all your desire drops away because you have what you want in that moment.

All the seeking drops away and all the identification drops away and you're left with your pure essence.

You're left with your shining,

Pure consciousness.

And this is what everybody wants.

And when we meet other people,

All we want is their shining,

Pure,

Essential presence.

We don't want all that other crap.

We don't want their judgement and their beliefs about you and what they think you should do.

Their conspiracies.

We just want presence.

That's all we want.

Presence.

Like even at some point tonight you're going to want me to shut up and just,

You prefer my presence than anything I have to say.

I prefer my presence.

So it's so simple.

It's not meant to be complicated.

And it is profound.

But it's not profound somewhere else.

It's not profound with that person.

It's not profound at this meeting.

It's you.

That's all.

Okay.

Do you want to share?

No.

I come to share your presence.

With everybody or just me?

Both.

With you and with everybody.

Beautiful.

I have this constant terror in my body and presence pears with.

.

.

Oh,

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

Oh,

I'm so happy.

Thank you,

Eva.

Fear is maybe one of the biggest boogeymen on this planet.

And that's a good metaphor for it.

Because we tend to.

.

.

Fear becomes a kind of the secret instructor telling us what we can and can't do,

What we should and shouldn't do.

And its thread is itself.

So it just simply says,

If you do that,

I'll come and get you.

Because that's finally what we're afraid of,

Is the fear itself.

We think we're afraid of what the fear is telling us.

But it's not,

Because this was the perfect example with Eva.

Absolutely terrified of exposure.

Everybody's terrified to get up into this seat,

To be exposed in front of the group,

Whatever it is.

Maybe it's me,

I don't know.

But she did it anyway,

And she didn't die.

And in fact,

She got to meet you and experience the bliss of your presence and of offering her own presence.

So there,

There's terror in the body and it didn't stop her from getting what she wants.

It didn't stop her from being herself.

It didn't stop her presence from shining.

So to tell the truth,

Does fear have been running my life in some way?

If you're a human being,

The answer is usually yes.

And to see that that's okay,

That's okay.

But what do you want?

Because if you're here,

I suspect you're not satisfied with that.

It doesn't fulfill you to live in the boundaries of where fear tells you to live.

Anyway,

Maybe I'm wrong,

But that's what I offer to you.

It's scary for me to come up here and talk to you.

My teacher would say if you're terrified,

It's a confirming sign.

It means you're coming to something real.

I forget what your words were,

But you asked us to feel what it was like.

And just suddenly felt completely undefended.

What's that like?

Well,

It's just open.

Open?

Yeah.

Just very surprising to suddenly.

.

.

But you've forgotten what it was exactly that I invited you to do that preceded this opening.

Yeah,

There's something about what it feels like tuning in.

Yes.

Yeah.

I would say that's my little trick that I use,

Where I invite you to actually directly experience it right now.

Rather than talking about it.

Do you know what I mean?

Rather than talking about what it's like and what it could be like,

What it should be like,

This is the most important thing,

Is direct experience.

To taste it directly.

Then it's not about me telling you anything.

Then you tell me.

You tell me about the truth.

You tell me about what's here when you're open.

I can't really.

It was just very surprising to feel like that.

That's a confirming sign.

Well,

I invite you to stay open.

Stay surprised,

Actually.

Surprised means new,

Fresh.

Never seen it before.

That's actually the truth of every second of your life is new.

Everything is fresh.

You have never been here before.

I have never been here before.

None of you have been here before.

Every instant is completely and utterly fresh.

It's only our layers of thought,

Belief,

Judgments,

Knowing,

This sense that I know.

Oh yeah,

I know.

I've been here before.

Oh yeah,

I've heard Jared talk before.

I remember him saying something like this last time.

That is the way that we overlay the present moment,

Which is so fresh and so unknown,

Such a mystery.

We overlay it with a sense of,

I know.

I know who I am.

I know what's going on.

I know where I've been and I know where I'm going.

And that knowing is a protection,

Actually,

Protecting us against this open.

Yeah.

So don't know anything.

Let every moment surprise you,

If that's what you want.

I mean,

I can't imagine it,

But.

.

.

That's right.

It's too close.

Imagination is already too far away.

It's right here,

Isn't it?

Thank you.

Yes,

Thank you.

Yes,

Please.

We don't realize the degree to which we overlay our experience.

Hello?

Again,

A little bit scary.

What is?

The microphone?

Yeah,

I do.

So we can hear you.

Yeah,

That'd be beautiful.

Okay.

I need to say thank you so much,

Because today is the last day I will be able to come here.

I wanted to come and say,

Much appreciation.

Oh,

I'm so glad.

And I also have a question.

When you describe.

.

.

I have a sense of what you describe,

You know,

And I steal my question from the first time I came to Satsang.

What's the difference then between you and me?

Or,

I don't know if anyone feels the same here,

But like all of us,

There's still something that I always kind of like go back to my life and lost it when I get there.

Yes,

It's very common what you're describing.

And it's really.

.

.

This my life is the only problem.

My life is exactly what I was talking about,

This overlay.

It's like a mental,

Emotional overlay,

Where you just know too much.

Where you talk to yourself,

Tell yourself what's going on,

Where you are,

What's wrong,

What should be different,

You feel afraid,

And then that influences your thoughts.

What should I do?

Whereas in here,

There's not.

.

.

Yes,

I don't think is what you said.

I don't think either.

So that's the thing.

Yes,

It's so easy.

But it's not meant to be just come here open and have a beautiful experience and then go back to my life and recreate all of this again.

The invitation is to let my life dissolve into this presence.

Let this recognize this is my life,

Is this,

This moment.

The mystery of this moment is me.

And it's an every-moment decision.

In a way,

My teacher would say it's one decision now.

And it's a commitment for the rest of my life because that's all there is,

Is now.

So it's right now I choose peace,

I choose love,

I choose the truth.

And in the inquiry,

You recognize that this thinking is suffering.

It makes everything harder.

It creates a sense of separation.

And then I want to come back to satsang so I can relax again.

So it's not realizing,

It's always now,

It's always your life.

So why not be happy and free always,

Now?

And it's just a test.

So when you recognize that,

You have to see that,

The logic of that.

Can you see that?

So then once you see that,

Then it's a matter of staying true to that in the face of the challenges of that,

Which is mostly just going to be fear.

How will I survive if I don't think all the time,

If I don't worry or doubt or try to figure it out?

Okay.

Yeah,

I think it's the fear because I won't be able to keep coming.

That fear that where am I going to find myself if it's not coming here.

Yes,

So I understand that as well.

But check and see,

What is it that you love about coming here?

Everything.

But what do you discover in yourself?

Yeah,

That state,

The peace.

That peace.

And how much effort do you have to make to experience the peace?

No effort.

Release all the effort.

Release all the effort.

So that's your own self that you're so happy with.

That's why you love coming here.

It's because you love yourself,

Your natural self.

That's here when you release all the effort.

Alright,

Thank you.

So are you willing to not make any effort and to be with your natural self even if it's scary?

That's the test.

That's the test,

Yes,

Because it will be scary.

It is scary.

Yeah,

It's scary.

But so what?

You can think of Eva.

That's her teaching.

That's her transmission.

But even with terror,

It can't stop the purring of presence.

That's how she described it,

Like a cat purring this presence.

Because it's true,

If you look and see,

Even as there's terror or fear,

You can actually check your presence to see if consciousness has gone anywhere.

Has it gone anywhere?

No.

And does consciousness have a problem?

No.

No.

So fear,

No fear.

People,

No people.

Wherever you are,

Whatever the objects are,

Whatever's happening in your life,

You can always stop and see where is the peace of my own being.

Just to remember.

Well,

In a way,

Yes.

It is a kind of remembering.

Remember to stop,

I mean,

When I'm in that.

Yes.

Suffering is your Dharma bell.

Suffering is like someone slapping you on the face.

You know,

It's like if you touch a boiling hot pot,

It creates pain that tells your body to take your finger off.

If you're suffering,

It's like that.

It's telling you to stop.

Stop touching up here.

I will remember now.

Yeah,

Good.

Yes.

Thank you so much.

Oh,

I'm so glad.

Thank you.

Are you going away?

No,

But I got a job.

Oh,

You got a job.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Wonderful.

Thank you so much.

Oh,

I'm so happy.

Yeah.

Yes.

Hi Avril.

You didn't just come down for this evening.

Oh yes.

How long was the drive?

Well,

I come from Victoria.

Okay.

Where I've been looking after my 93-year-old mum.

Right.

And we had other traumatic things happening.

So it's good to be listening to what you've been saying.

Because it's important to me.

Because some of the trauma I've been going through had lots of moments that were quite hard and tough to go through.

Yes.

And I sort of learnt that not all moments are really happy ones.

Because I had that idea that every.

.

.

Well,

You should be having a happy mum.

I'm so glad you brought that up.

Because I really want to break that spell too.

I'm not happy all the time.

Yeah,

That spell was thoroughly broken for me.

Yeah.

And you just have to be present no matter what is coming up in the moment.

And you somehow go through it.

And if you're present then things keep on working out.

And it's almost as if you're told.

No,

I don't think that's the word.

Yes,

You have insight.

That's right.

That's right.

It's beautiful.

I mean the truth is you are presence itself.

It's like the presence is there.

But it sounds like what you're saying is to give yourself to that presence and actually be present.

To be present really also means to not be a somebody who's trying to be in control and trying to fix it and trying to push it away.

To be fully present means you have to meet the pain of whatever it is that's showing up.

Yeah,

That was what I learnt that even if it is tough or traumatic then it's still a moment that you go through.

That's right.

Yeah,

That's a big one.

I'm not happy that you had traumatic moments but I'm happy to see your capacity to meet everything because that's also what you discover.

When the ego is running we think of ourselves as this small person in a big world and the world is overwhelming and things are overwhelming and situations are overwhelming.

But when you're present you realise that presence can't be overwhelmed,

Not presence.

And so big traumatic events can come and you can meet them.

And you all have.

Everyone here has met some form of trauma.

Everyone.

And yet here you are.

And like you were saying,

They begin and then they end.

That's right.

Oh,

Thank you.

So beautiful.

So good to see you.

I love you too.

Good to see you too,

Tony.

I really love this whole impermanence thing.

When I read about,

You know,

It's one of the three jewels of Buddhism,

Impermanence.

And this was one of my awakening moments,

I would say.

I read it and realised that everything comes and goes.

Everything will die.

Everything.

And my response to that was instant freedom,

Instant happiness,

And instant gratitude for this moment.

Knowing that this moment is so fresh and new and surprising and it will end.

So why not enjoy it completely and fully?

And to enjoy a moment completely and fully you have to be completely and fully present for it.

And to be completely and fully present you have to not know anything at all.

Who you think you are has to be surrendered.

But not as a.

.

.

There's no shoulds here.

I hope you realise.

.

.

I hope that's not how it sounds.

This is all by choice.

This is freedom.

There's no one looking over your shoulder saying you should.

You're here out of some kind of secret or not so secret love of life,

Love of truth.

It might be secret even to yourself.

You may not even know why you're here but I can tell you that the reason you're here is because you love yourself.

Because you love life.

So in that I say choose that.

Choose the truth of yourself.

Choose life.

Since you love it,

Choose it.

And in that you turn away from what's not alive.

And really your thoughts about who you are are not alive.

They're all conditioned.

All your beliefs are not alive.

They're conditioned.

And they're relative.

Thank you,

Jared.

I was noticing with the desire to come up that in some way I felt that it's different here.

In this seat.

Or that there's some permission here.

Permission to move on.

Be the presence that I desire.

So what's it like in that chair?

I suppose I could,

But even with the decision I could feel my heart begin to beat more.

Fear arise and also becoming more present.

Even just with the decision like some lull sleep that was reduced as my heart was beating.

But I really am in love with presence.

And any opportunity to come even closer.

I just take up.

Beautiful.

And I feel like when you said something about,

I can feel you.

Are you all?

Can you feel it?

And in that instant what I felt was something I hadn't noticed before.

In this space of everybody.

Everybody's presence.

Outside of their body.

Yes.

And I really wanted to come to that again.

I'm coming up here.

It's not the experience of it.

They're beautiful.

You're having tastes and tastes and tastes.

It's the recognition that it's always here.

It's seeing that when you go into the fire what burns away is your internalized machinations.

That when I invited you to in some way recognize the presence of everyone else,

You stopped obsessing with something going on inside.

You turned out.

You opened.

Yes.

So you can't chase that somewhere else.

You can sit in that chair and open.

I want you to do it again.

Exactly.

I'm really not a performing seal.

And it's just a trap.

We externalize everything.

That's the trap of thinking that it's this meeting or it's got anything to do with me.

It's got nothing to do with me.

It's all about you.

And every time you feel bliss or you feel happiness,

What are you feeling?

You're feeling yourself.

So the fire is only for all the ways that you cover that with something else,

Doubt,

Thinking,

Figuring it out,

Chasing something in the future,

Projecting,

Just to put that in the fire.

That's the fire.

You burn,

You put in a bonfire all of the stuff that's not consciousness.

I keep looking for it in some way.

Yeah,

That's your doubt.

That's called doubt.

Because isn't it here?

So how are you looking for it?

It's like sitting on the pot of gold and saying,

You know,

I'm going to go buy a lottery ticket.

Oh,

Man.

Throw your doubt in the fire.

Doubt is the poison.

Don't touch doubt.

See what happens.

Like right now,

No doubt.

You don't have to believe anything.

I'm not saying believe in something.

I'm saying just don't doubt.

And if the doubt comes,

Maybe don't doubt is the wrong way to say it.

Don't touch it.

It will come.

Yes,

But,

Well,

It doesn't even have to have words.

But just don't touch it.

Don't be interested in it.

What has it done for you lately?

So what's your experience if you just give up on doubt?

I'm not sure how I'm doubting right now.

Maybe right now you're not.

Maybe,

Yeah.

If you're searching for consciousness,

That's a doubt.

Because where is it?

Where are you going to find it?

I don't know.

I'm just doubting.

It's like asking me right now,

How could I sit down?

I really want to sit down.

What's your experience?

So,

For all… Something in that mechanism of looking,

Mechanism of seeking,

Okay.

Just check,

Inquire into that mechanism.

Because in it there's going to be a whole bunch of things.

There's going to be a doubt.

There's going to be a wait.

Where is it?

I can't see it now.

It seems so quick and automatic.

But if you slow it right down,

Find out what happens just before you start seeking.

In the interim between presence and seeking,

What happens in between?

Because in there you are tricking yourself.

You're playing a game with yourself,

A game of hide and seek.

It's like a test.

You're testing yourself.

And you have the power to pass your own test.

No one else,

Because you keep doing it.

So it doesn't matter how many times you have a profound experience.

As long as you keep doing that little thing and keep seeking again,

You're just on the merry-go-round,

Round again for another go.

I feel that and I almost don't really detect the shift from it.

So presence,

I didn't even.

.

.

It's just at some point I reincarnated as someone who was that and didn't know how I came to not be that.

Just check it out.

And if you recognize presence is always here and doesn't come and go and there's nothing to do and nowhere to go,

Then there's nothing to do and nowhere to go.

But if you find yourself searching for presence in another person or in another moment or in the future,

Then find out how did you get there.

It feels like I am not enough.

It's just like a background feeling,

Like I'm not enough.

In that moment,

Check it out,

Go slower.

Because there'll be a feeling and then a thought and then you believe it.

So it's like the hook comes down with a bait and then you eat it.

Yeah.

And then wonder why you're on the boat.

Check it out.

Maybe you just desire to be something more.

I feel like I want to be able to do it.

Yeah,

We've talked about that.

Yeah.

You're not invited to that party.

Sorry.

Okay.

I'm sorry to be the one.

Thank you.

So you see that the one who feels like I'm not enough wants to be enough.

But the one who feels like I am not enough doesn't exist if you investigate it.

So therefore it isn't enough and never will be enough.

So you can give up trying to make that one enough.

Because no matter how much you dress it up,

It's still a lie.

It's still made up.

You have to keep dressing it up every day.

This me that's not enough.

It will always feel not enough.

But it isn't enough.

I mean,

Literally it's an imaginary object floating in infinite space.

And the only thing that will be enough for you is the infinite.

Bless you.

The only thing that will fulfill your drive for freedom and truth and love is the infinite.

That's everything.

The infinite.

So if you're looking for fulfillment in the finite,

You'll never get there.

But if you turn to the infinite,

Which is really just if you check and reflect on your own presence,

Reflect on consciousness,

Reflect on what is always here unchanging,

Can you find a beginning of that and an end of that?

Can you find a beginning of consciousness or an end of consciousness or how big is consciousness or how old is consciousness?

You see that it has no,

None of that even makes sense in the context of consciousness.

It has no age.

It has no size.

It has no beginning.

It has no middle and it has no end.

Hi.

Hi,

Hera.

I've been sitting in that chair wanting to come up knowing how ungraceful,

Gracefully I was going to get out of that chair.

But I'm glad I did.

We'll have to get a video camera next time.

I'm just so in love with love.

Isn't that an infinite loop?

And whether the experience of love is here or not,

It's still absolutely complete.

Yes.

It's good news for you,

Good news for the world,

Good news for your family.

When really your life gets filled with what you're in love with and we often just are unconscious of what we're in love with,

We just don't realize it.

Many people are in love with doubt.

I mean,

Maybe that's a weird way to say it.

But if you spend half your day doubting,

Maybe you're in love with it.

I mean,

Check that out.

Doubt was such a familiar place for me.

Yes.

Don't touch it.

Don't touch it.

That's it.

And when you announced I'm in love with love,

There was not a shred of doubt in it.

No.

There was not a,

But I don't know where it is.

It's like even if it's not here,

I'm still in love with it.

That's what love is like,

You know,

When you're really in love.

It doesn't really matter if the other one doesn't love you back.

You're in love.

Papaji would say you wait outside your beloved's house on the off chance that one in a million chance you might get a kiss from your beloved.

Yes,

That's it.

And just being open to every kiss.

Yes.

Because it's constantly being kissed.

Yes.

Yes,

That's what we're all afraid of.

Yeah,

That's grace.

Grace is constantly trying to give us what we need.

Not necessarily what we want,

But it's certainly trying to give us what we need.

And we're afraid of that somehow because we think we know better how it should be,

Better than grace.

We don't trust grace or we don't trust life,

That it will do it the way that I think it should be done or the way that I want it.

See,

The madness of that,

Our limited mind not trusting the grace of this whole universe that has been around for four trillion years,

This universe,

Doing just fine without us,

Without you.

And we come along and say,

No,

You know,

I think I know.

I think it should go like this.

Yeah,

Whenever I was talking about the challenges,

I mean,

You know,

Challenges come.

Yes.

Often,

And sometimes really huge ones.

Yes.

The last one,

Big one for me was when my mum passed a couple of years ago.

And it was like with the embrace of the grief,

It became immense love and the grief never came back.

I mean,

That was like in days.

Yes.

And all that was there was love.

Yes.

And such a precious thing to know and to embrace.

Yes,

So lucky.

We're lucky.

I feel so lucky.

Yes.

Yeah.

And thanks for being here,

Jared.

Oh.

Yeah.

So lucky.

Making this space.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you for your report.

It's so beautiful.

Such good news.

Yes.

Grief.

Grief is natural and it comes from love.

You tend to grieve what you love,

Not what you don't love.

And so it's not even that grief becomes love.

Grief is love.

And just we tend to push grief away because it's uncomfortable because if you're open to it fully,

You have to face the loss that maybe you don't want to face.

You have to face the heartbreak and the pain of it.

And we naturally tend to push that away because we don't want to feel this heartbreak.

We don't want to feel the discomfort of it.

But it's actually only love.

And by not feeling it,

We are cutting ourselves off.

We're cutting our life force.

We're cutting the world off.

Where we think we're in control.

We think we know better than grace.

We know better than life.

You know,

I don't quite like this feeling,

So I'm going to park this one over here.

But to say yes and to open to everything,

Then grace kisses you in a mysterious,

Surprising way where the grief,

You recognize that grief is love in the fully opening to it.

So,

What if when you leave here,

Your mind stays in the room?

What if you just check and see what it would be like to spend the rest of tonight empty,

Not knowing anything,

Meeting this moment for your first time,

As if you've never been here before?

What if you could be surprised by yourself because it's so fresh and so unknown and so not in your mind,

Not a concept,

That every second is a fresh discovery of yourself?

That's my invitation.

You don't have to do it.

You don't have to do anything.

And don't do it because I'm asking you.

You do it by asking yourself,

What do I love?

What do I love?

And if you love this unfettered,

Unbridled self,

Then go for it.

I support you.

And if you like one night of it,

Imagine what it would be like to devote the rest of your life to it.

I recommend that.

Really.

It doesn't mean you're always successful.

It doesn't mean you never doubt or never have a thought or never identify.

It just means you're completely devoted to the truth,

Completely devoted to happiness,

Completely devoted to reality.

And the truth doesn't mind if you have an ego and it doesn't mind if you make mistakes.

It doesn't expect you to be something in particular at all.

But that love affair is just,

That's a love affair with yourself,

A love affair with love.

Okay.

Thank you everyone.

Thank you,

Thank you.

So grateful.

Reviews

I cannot begin to describe how meaningful this was for me today. Thank you to everyone who shared their heart.

It’s a talk and not a meditation. However I enjoy the talk a lot so it gets 5 stars. 🙏