Living An Inspired Life | Abundance Codes | Heal/Meditate

In this talk, healing and meditation we will ground in. Activation for "The Courage to be Loved". Shifting from victim consciousness to empowered, creator consciousness. Activation for "Choosing Me". Activation for "Commitment to a Higher Way of Life". Activation for "Self Love". ** Important Note - In this lesson, Jamie will guide you through Nervous System Regulating Tools. Doing some research to find a visual guide of these tools, so that you can join along with her, will be most helpful. Specifically, tools called bilateral tapping and ventral hug. Please note: This track was recorded live and may contain background noises.

Transcript

Welcome,

Everybody.

So we're going to set a group intention today that whatever our biggest limiting subconscious block is to us living in this higher aligned way,

May it be revealed to us and the solution to heal it.

So if you want to say that out loud after me or just let me hold the space for this question,

This intention,

May my biggest subconscious block be revealed gently that may be keeping me from living in alignment with joy,

Desire,

Inspiration,

Ease,

Flow,

And may the healing path of that subconscious block be revealed as well.

So we're going to really listen to that quiet,

Oh,

Give it a chance to come through.

Okay.

So we're going to do some regulating tools.

So what I want you to do is notice.

So when we're,

When our nervous system's regulated,

We feel open,

Curious,

Calm.

We may not feel totally blissed out,

But we're like,

Okay,

There's life's challenges,

But I can,

I'm capable.

When we're sped up and our nervous system's dysregulated,

We can feel angry,

Anxious,

Urgency,

Fast,

Us against them.

When we're in the more depressive shutdown state of our nervous system,

We can feel tired,

Unmotivated,

Disconnected,

Not enough,

Alone,

Depressed.

So I want you just to notice right now,

Where am I existing in this spectrum?

Am I centered?

There's no judgment with us.

Remember,

We just notice my here,

My here,

Or am I here?

There's also a combination of the two called freeze,

Which is both states at once,

Which usually feels like I have a lot to do and I don't get any of it done because the mind's going all day,

But the tired,

The slower end's pulling you back saying,

I can't,

It's too scary.

So it's both working against each other.

So you may feel there as well.

So let's just notice,

Where do I think I am?

This spastic one's called sympathetic,

Regulated,

It's regulated,

Ventral,

It's called ventral,

Or dorsal is the lower end,

Or freeze.

And then now what I want you to do,

And if you can't remember the word,

Just be like,

Oh,

The anxious one,

Or oh,

The sadder one,

Or oh,

The frozen one.

On a scale of one to 10 within your window of where you are,

One being totally peaceful,

10 being worst sympathetic ever,

I'm literally on the verge of a panic attack,

Where are you on that spectrum?

So I'm a little anxious,

Not a lot anxious,

Okay,

I'm a sympathetic three,

I'm a sympathetic four.

Okay,

I'm a little kind of melancholy,

I don't really have any motivation,

Kind of meh,

I'm a dorsal three,

I'm a dorsal four.

If any of this doesn't make sense,

Just pop it in the chat and I'll do my best to articulate it.

Okay,

So now that we've noticed where we are,

We're going to do some tools to come back into regulation,

And then notice where we are again.

This shows the body,

Hey,

I'm not stuck and helpless and hopeless,

Like I thought,

Because we all go into those spirals,

Okay?

So we've done some of these tools,

We're going to cross our arms,

This one can be done like this,

Like this,

So whatever is comfortable for you,

And we're just going to,

It's called bilateral tapping or cross-lateral tapping,

Just going to slowly alternate sides of the body,

This balances the brain,

Do this for 30 seconds,

Maybe you want to try both and see how they feel.

These are all body-based nervous system healing tools that send calming signals to your brain,

And just rest your arms,

And we're going to take a second,

I know this is a very vague question,

And I'm just going to have you notice what you notice right now,

Just for a moment,

Notice what we notice.

Sometimes we notice we can hear better,

The body took a breath,

Oh,

My thoughts aren't racing as much,

Oh,

I can feel my butt in the seat,

Okay,

We're going to do a couple more,

I think we've done these ones before,

But you can either hold both sides or one,

Oh,

Good,

Yeah,

Present in the moment,

It's very subtle,

The shifts,

But you can hold both sides or one,

This is a deep feeling of feeling supported,

It's a very,

It sends comfort to the brain,

Good,

So we're just going to rest in our hands for 30 seconds,

One feels better than the other,

I want you just to notice what you notice,

So my body,

You were looking at me just so I took a yawn,

It's really common to yawn,

Sigh,

Maybe an emotion comes through,

Just notice what you notice,

And sometimes it's like a .

001% shift out of 100,

And that's good,

Okay,

We're going to do one more,

This one we've done too is the ventral hug,

We're going to put one arm under our pit and then one above,

And this sends the signal to the brain of I'm being hugged and I'm hugging myself,

So it's the feeling of being supported and supporting,

Okay,

So we're just going to notice what does it feel like to be hugged by me,

Which is the sensation of the arm that's under the pit because it's being held by you,

So what does it feel like to be hugged by me,

We're just going to notice that sensation,

Good,

And then what does it feel like keeping the hands like this,

What does it feel like to hug me,

Which is the hand that's on the top that's supporting you,

That's here for you,

That loves you,

What does it feel like to hug me,

You're holding that arm underneath of you,

You're there for you,

Good,

Lots of deep breaths,

Sighs,

Just notice what you notice,

Just let the arms relax for a moment,

I want you to remember the number you were before,

And I want you just to ask yourself right now,

Where am I now,

Did half a point change,

Did two points change,

Did a lot of points change,

Do I feel less anxious,

Do I feel less low,

Do I feel less frozen,

Do I feel a little bit more here,

Present,

Capable,

Curious,

Where am I now,

Sometimes when we are in this lower end,

What happens is the body then moves to the higher end,

So if you were in dorsal,

You may feel a little more anxious now,

Which actually means there was a shift,

Because physically,

Where our dorsal vagal is,

Is in our gut,

And then sympathetic is up here,

So the body is unwinding,

And you've actually released the lower state,

And it's moving up to this part of your nervous system,

So you feel anxious,

But it's actually moving to heal,

Right,

So if that was something that happened to you,

You're actually moving in a healing,

Regulating direction,

Good.

This pulls us out of,

Like I was saying before,

Hopelessness and powerlessness,

Because a lot of times we can feel like,

Oh my god,

I'm stuck in the same thing,

And when we show the brain,

Look,

You just did this thing,

You feel a little,

Little more energy,

Maybe it's .

001%,

Or you feel a little,

You're,

Hey,

My thoughts were racing,

I'm still anxious,

I'm still tight,

I'm still whatever,

But my thoughts aren't as obsessive,

Huh,

Okay,

Something's shifting,

I can heal,

I can change,

I can expand,

Hmm,

Good.

So where I wanna start for us is a commitment,

A commitment to choosing a new way of life as we go forward,

Intention's really powerful,

So we're gonna meet ourselves where we are,

We're gonna say,

We're gonna honor the moment,

Say,

I feel this,

And then we're gonna set the intention to say,

I commit to inspiration,

I commit to joy,

I commit to desire,

I commit to ease,

And then we're gonna pull in those energies from that committed path into the session,

Okay?

So hands on the heart,

If you would like to join me,

Just take a deep breath,

Repeating out loud after me,

I release any energy that I may be carrying that doesn't belong to me.

I am me and only me now,

Even though I don't know this path yet,

I choose joy,

I choose abundance,

I choose prosperity,

I choose desire,

I choose inspiration,

I choose a new earth,

I choose to live at a higher level of consciousness,

I choose authentic me and her expression,

I choose me,

I choose me,

I choose to honor me and get to know me and express me,

I choose me.

Any energies in the way of choosing me,

I choose to delete,

Uncreate,

And de-story.

What would it take for me to choose me all of the time?

What would I need to know,

Believe,

Perceive,

Or receive to choose me?

My truth,

My gifts,

My expression,

My worthiness,

My purpose,

My safety,

My goodness.

Just taking a deep breath here,

Letting it settle,

I'm going to take a quiet moment for you to jot down anything that may have come through,

What would it take to choose me and what's between me and choosing me in all areas of my life,

What comes up?

Take your time with your explorations,

But I would love to know any insights or any thing that came up of like,

Oh shit,

This is what it would take,

This is what's in the way of living this path that's different than a lot of people,

And I'll look at those and do some group healings when we get some more coming through,

And questions about any of this too.

Yeah,

These are really good.

This is an opportunity for massive healing today,

Guys.

I mean,

This is a shift from codependence to interdependence,

Autonomy,

Agency,

Right?

Of like,

I remember my teachers telling me this for years,

I was like,

Huh?

When I choose me,

When I love me,

When I honor me,

It's a win-win for everyone.

When you're in that frequency,

It positively affects everyone around you.

Mine just came through,

What would it take to know that it was like a gratitude,

Right?

I'm so grateful to choose me because this is positively affecting everyone around me.

Okay,

So I'm going to start speaking to these,

But keep popping in any insights as you get them,

Questions as you get them.

What would it take to choose me,

Knowing I'd be okay,

Safe,

Connected,

And loved?

So this was actually the next question I had written down for you guys,

But it's combining into this exercise.

So my question for you and everybody who feels this way.

So you said,

What would it take knowing I'd be okay,

Safe,

Connected,

And loved?

What in this now moment that is accessible for you could be in the world of doing or being?

What makes you feel okay,

Safe,

Connected,

And loved now?

It could be the simplest thing in the world,

A specific song,

Putting your feet on the earth,

Hugging a certain person,

Animal,

Stuffed animal,

Plant,

Let me see if you wrote anything in.

The most safe being in nature and feeling connected to spirit.

Yes.

So what I would say is we only ever have now,

Right?

Our brain tells us,

Well,

When I get there,

I'll be okay.

And then I get there and I'll be okay.

And then we're like,

Shit,

We're always here.

So what do I want in life?

And how can I,

In a very safe,

Small,

Easy way,

Evoke that feeling now?

And so sometimes if it's hard for us to like evoke the feeling,

Cause we're not used to it in our life.

Well,

What thing stirs that up?

Going to get coffee on a Monday at the so-and-so place makes me feel luxurious.

Great.

Then let me go to the coffee at the so-and-so place on a Monday to feel luxurious.

So gorgeous.

How can I hang out in nature and connect to spirit more?

That's you choosing you,

Stunning.

Where do I feel okay,

Safe,

Connected,

And loved the most?

Yeah.

And then here's another one.

We know in nervous system retraining,

We have to find disconfirming evidence.

So I would invite you to look at a moment in your life,

Even if you can find one second where you chose you,

Whatever level that is,

Laughing loud,

Doing something you wanted to do,

Setting a boundary,

Following your heart,

Following your soul path,

And you were okay,

Safe,

Connected,

And loved.

Maybe not as a whole.

Can you find an example of disconfirming evidence where you chose you and it was true that you were okay,

Safe,

Connected,

And loved?

Can you show your body that example?

Look,

Body.

And we can do this practice too,

If we have time,

Because what you do is you say,

You call the memory up of the second in time you felt that,

And then you notice how that feels in the body.

We always bring it back down to the body to rewire under the nervous system.

Whoa.

Hey,

I chose me and I was okay,

Safe,

Connected,

And loved in that moment.

And how does evoking that memory make my body feel?

Oh,

Look,

I just took a deep breath and you bathe in that shit.

So these questions are specific to the people asking,

But they're also specific to the collective.

So fill in your words.

Anxiety gets in the way of me choosing me.

Okay.

So lack of confidence gets in the way.

So I'm going to ask you,

Do you notice or can you contemplate now what the anxious thought is?

So when I think about choosing me,

What goes on in my head that causes the anxiety,

I'm going to make everybody uncomfortable.

I'm going to let everyone down.

Like if you kind of think about it for a little bit,

What is making,

What thoughts making me feel anxious when I think about choosing me and what thoughts making me feel insecure when I think about choosing me.

And then I'll come back to when I think about choosing me,

I would need to accept and like myself,

Allowing potential failure,

But trusting in a greater benevolent universe.

Yeah,

Totally.

If we can give ourselves whatever we resist persists.

So whatever we're afraid of,

If we can give ourselves permission to embrace it,

We're free.

So like,

For example,

I give myself permission to not be liked and to fail.

Cool.

I'm free,

But that's very scary to the ego that says you will die if you fail.

You will die if you are unliked.

And then we say,

I open to the possibility that I can still be alive and be disliked and that I can still be alive and fail.

You can repeat out loud after me if you want.

I open to the possibility that I can be disliked and be alive and fully functioning,

Happy and fail and be alive and fully functioning and happy.

Sometimes coming back to simple things.

It's natural in our world,

Natural and normal to be disliked.

We're not all meant to be liked.

There's a trauma response when we have so much pain to try to protect ourselves from the pain.

We pull up this thing of,

Well,

Let me be liked.

Oh,

I was watching this because I hear you.

I understand this.

I was watching a Gabor Mate video this weekend and he didn't say this,

But I gathered this from this.

It's the courage to be loved,

The courage to be loved,

Because I was experiencing a moment where I didn't feel loved.

And I was like,

What is this?

What is this reflection?

And there was an old people pleasing tendency I was playing out.

And I thought,

Wow,

Like you either give people permission to love you because you're that vulnerable saying,

This is me.

These are my boundaries.

This is it.

And then you really feel loved because you give people the ability to peek in and actually see the real you,

Or you play it safe and try to get everybody to like you and never know what real love feels like.

So if we don't feel loved,

We may not be allowing our authentic self to be seen because we're not giving people permission to even love the real us.

We're just likable.

So it's a choice,

Right?

Do I want to,

As an adult,

Be loved or liked?

And being loved is a courageous choice because you have to show people your feelings sometimes.

And you have to tell them your truth if your feelings got hurt sometimes,

And you have to set boundaries sometimes,

And you have to push up against edges of things sometimes,

And you got to piss people off sometimes.

And when I'm speaking to your specific thing,

If you have a thought or a question after it,

Feel free to write it back in the chat.

All right.

These are great,

You guys.

So fear of choosing me,

Fear,

Desire for control gets in the way.

This was really helpful for me.

What's the opposite of control?

Surrender,

Flow,

Connection consciousness,

Which is the opposite of separation consciousness,

Which means I'm not in control ultimately.

I am connected to the quantum grid of life.

I am part of the whole,

Which says I relax and soften.

This is it.

I'm a channel of life.

That's the antidote to control.

Life moves through me.

I am a.

.

.

Here it is.

It keeps coming.

I am a receiver of life.

I am a channel of life and a receiver of life.

So I either control life or I receive life,

Meaning I just got an image.

When I went to the bank with my mom as a kid,

They had those like things you'd put the checks in and it would go whoosh through the tubes you get from the 80s.

I just saw like a channel of life.

I don't know why I got that image,

But you allow everything to move through you.

This is a very feminine quality.

The pain,

The emotions,

The wisdom,

The divinity,

God,

Light,

All of it,

Right?

So it's just imagining you're the tube and the money and all of it's just,

Can I receive the information,

The energy of emotion or wisdom and just constantly let that flow through me?

That requires us believing as someone mentioned before in a benevolent universe,

Because it would feel scary as hell to be a receiver of all of that.

There is a metaphysical text I studied years back called A Course in Miracles.

And there's something in there about when we control and we're that afraid,

We have forgotten that there is light and we have forgotten that we are light.

And we have forgotten that we are made of pure love and that all the pain is energy that's moving through.

So when we identify with that,

Then of course we try to control it,

The internal pain and experience.

We allow it fully to move through us with unconditional love,

But we don't identify with it.

We identify as our true nature,

As the light,

As the love,

As the compassion,

As the acceptance,

As the benevolence,

Who's experiencing spiritual Plato,

The divine expression of life playing out in the moment.

So if I open to saying,

Hey,

So let's do this.

Okay.

Hand on the heart.

Hey,

Life,

I intend to remember you're benevolent.

Can you remind me of that?

Can you remind me I'm the light so that I have nothing to fear ultimately,

So that I can let go of control and receive.

I intend to shift my perspective to seeing that life is for me happens for me and not to me.

And so it is.

Yeah.

So just take a deep breath there.

Okay.

And if there's any questions that arise from that happen,

Man,

Cause I know some of these things are pretty far out there.

I would need to let go,

Um,

To choose me inspiration,

Vitality,

Abundance,

Let go.

I remember a coach saying to me years ago,

Um,

Jamie,

You it's like,

Life's given you this beautiful thing and it's on its way and it's right here and you don't trust it.

So you jump in right before you get to see the proof.

So it's like,

It's always this playing out and all the gold's right there and it's like,

So that's what happens with control.

It's like,

If we can just like,

We talked a little bit about last week and this isn't always easy cause we got our programs,

But soften,

Slow down,

Allow for the universe to have our back a little bit,

Allow for benevolence.

It's like we're in the self-fulfilling prophecy cause we don't fully believe it.

So then we don't get to see proof of new cause we're playing this game out.

So if we can open our mind like we just did,

We just did it.

Show me goodness.

Show me benevolence.

Let me pause and wait.

Let me notice when I'm making fear and jumping in too soon.

What would it take?

Dropping old stories that no longer apply.

Amen.

So anything that feels heavy,

We know is a lie.

Anything that feels light,

We know is truth.

Living my truth without fear,

Finding peace by living my truth,

Letting inspiration and creativity flow from this place of peace.

Yeah.

There's this collective energy I'm feeling into a fear of being seen in this new way.

Like what if they see me,

Um,

Believing in a benevolent universe and you know,

Not being afraid to fail and whatever that is,

But then we really feel seen,

Right?

Cause we're choosing us.

So we're seeing us and then life will reflect back that that's okay.

Let me ask if there's an antidote to the fear of being this collective fear of being seen for this group.

Okay.

Hand on the heart.

Could I open to the possibility of being seen in this new way and safe and loved and enough and happy and abundant and any other word that's relevant to me?

Ah,

Could I open to the possibility of being seen and met and shown up for?

So the opposite of abandonment,

Seen and met,

Seen and loved,

Seen and shown up for seen as true me,

Real me,

This new frequency we're moving into me.

Ah,

That's it.

All right.

We're going to say that one more time.

So you're going to just say an energetic yes.

If you're on board,

Could I open to the possibility of being seen as real,

True,

High frequency following my inspiration,

Honoring my truth,

Choosing me,

Me and the reality where I can be that and met and shown up for and held and loved at the same time?

Yes.

I don't need to know how to enter that reality.

I'm open to it.

In keeping me from that reality,

I choose to delete,

Uncreate and de-story from my energy field now.

Choosing me is no big deal.

It's like whatevs.

And I've been doing it for years and I'm like,

That's so weird.

I never did that before.

Remember that course I took with Jamie?

It's so weird because like now it's not a big deal and I'm teaching a course.

You feel into that?

It's like whatevs.

I got used to this one,

Been choosing me for years.

Good.

Okay.

That's really good,

You guys.

So a little tap on the heart just to integrate it and just take a deep breath.

All right.

These are great.

Got this message.

Let's play.

Silly play,

Stupid,

Crazy things.

Not letting the seriousness show itself up.

Very questionable.

Gorgeous.

So what would it take to choose me?

And look at that.

I read that one right after I brought in massive lightness.

Hand on the heart.

I give myself permission to be seen as silly and playful and be taken seriously at the same time.

Jamie's figured that one out.

It's possible.

Lots of people have figured that one out.

Actually someone did an Instagram post thanking me for that.

This weekend there were three meditation teachers that she appreciated their lightness and play because it rubbed off on her.

So we're craving it.

We just need people to show us it's okay.

Right.

Let me see if there's anything else around this.

Oh,

Okay.

So when I say met,

Shown up for,

I'm talking about the opposite of abandonment.

So feel into the opposite of abandonment.

I give myself permission and I open to the possibility of being seen in my play when it's appropriate and aligned and shown up for,

Met and loved at the same time.

Yeah.

Just take a deep breath.

Let that integrate.

We're just moving to new frequencies and new possibilities.

We're hanging out in the non-physical.

Right.

All right.

Deep breaths as we move these energies.

So always,

So fear of not choosing me,

Always believing that I'm worth it.

I would need to always believe I'm worth it,

That I matter.

Yeah.

And my value is inherent in just being.

Unconditional states.

I am love and I am worthy of unconditional love.

I have incredible gifts that are unique to only me.

And I am deserving of the gifts that the universe sends me.

It's okay to receive.

I deserve it.

Yeah.

Wow.

That holds a very high frequency.

Like you got it with that.

The only thing that stood out to me is it's okay to receive.

So let's just do a little integration on that one.

Okay.

Hand on the heart.

Receiving is natural and normal and my birthright.

The feminine receives as the egg receives.

It's natural for the egg to receive sperm.

We see this in nature.

So it's natural for things to come towards me.

I just am.

I am the egg.

I exist.

I do things I like.

I follow my boundaries.

I follow my joy.

I feel my feelings.

I am the egg.

I exist.

When things come towards me,

It's natural to receive and create normal,

Natural.

I will begin to notice how receiving is normal.

Plants receive sun,

Water.

I receive things,

Money,

Inspiration,

Feelings,

How it works,

How it works.

I am nature,

Just existing how it works.

I give myself permission to be seen in my natural ways and loved,

Met,

And shown up for at the same time by myself and others and life.

The most safe being in nature and feeling connected to spirit.

Oh yes.

Good.

I got this song in my head.

Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe.

That's good.

That's really good.

Who sings that?

Is that Whitney Houston?

Yeah.

Look,

See,

We ask these higher questions.

We're literally swimming in a higher level of consciousness right now,

You guys.

So the new information can come through.

Fair.

I tend to feel the most safe,

Connected,

And loved when I choose me.

Man,

The brain is the wildest beast,

Huh?

It is.

And it's forgiving ourselves for where we were.

It's gratitude.

So hands on the heart.

Thank you to the parts of me who protected me from what I wrote down,

Who protected me from these states of being because back then it wasn't safe for me.

So thank you for being my fierce protector.

I forgive you as I forgive those who planted this stuff into my head and my nervous system,

As they did it out of survival too.

I choose to forgive myself for listening to these patterns and thank myself now for slowly waking up to a new way and for being at the forefront of bringing massive amounts of light to the planet.

Go me.

Good.

I will exclude others and feel lonely or abandoned.

Hold on.

I got to scroll back.

That was like 45 minutes ago.

Can you pop on and let me know what that was and what you were saying?

I will exclude others and feel lonely or abandoned.

Was that just an addition?

Yeah.

Fear.

That makes sense now.

All right.

Hands on the heart.

What if it's possible when I choose me,

It will be inclusive to others and it may be in a roundabout way or nonlinear,

But I will be standing in such a beautiful high frequency choosing me that I will invite others who are ready to do the same just by being around me.

While not everyone will be included,

It will be true inclusion,

Not half ass,

But true inclusion meaning I will invite others to a high frequency around me when I choose me.

I give others permission to choose themselves too.

I'm sorry.

I forgot others could choose themselves too,

And it is not my responsibility to choose for others.

I choose me.

I show a new possibility.

I invite others who are ready into that just by being,

And I see the potential in others that they can choose them too.

I respect others' boundaries and they respect mine.

Just deep breath there.

If I choose me,

I will feel lonely and abandoned.

What if it's possible when I choose me in the truest divine sense,

Self-honoring on all levels,

My desires,

My emotions,

My boundaries,

My needs,

Et cetera,

I will actually for the first time in my life feel deeply connected,

Deeply met,

Deeply loved,

Deeply shown up for.

The loneliness is just perpetual not choosing me because when I choose me,

I'm connected to myself and God and others in that frequency and loneliness and abandonment doesn't exist there.

I didn't know that reality existed.

I'm open to seeing it now.

All right,

Good.

Just do a little shake out,

Deep breath.

I'm always too much and I'm never enough.

Oh,

Yeah,

I've dealt with that one too.

Isn't that crazy how we can carry both of those?

I'm always too much and I'm never enough.

What is needed to rectify this?

I'm always too much and I'm never enough.

There's something here.

I'm always too much and I'm never enough.

Let me sit with that one,

Come back to it.

Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston,

Thank you.

What I think about the causes,

That causes the anxiousness,

Okay,

Cool,

This was what I was curious about,

Or lack of confidence,

The worry that I'm going to fail and embarrass myself.

It hurt so much when I failed in the past and it's also tied to being belittled for screwing up.

All right,

I'm afraid to choose me because I'm afraid of failing and embarrassing myself.

Okay,

You can come on if you want or just type in the chat.

It's very simple here,

But would you be open to the possibility that failing and being a failure are two separate things?

We're just going to start there.

Failing and being a failure are two separate things.

When we feel like a failure,

We internalize it.

When we fail a lot and no one says,

That's normal and that's okay,

Then we take the pain on and say,

I am a failure.

So could we be like a fucking amazing soul who fails a lot?

Yeah.

Could I be enough,

Whole and complete,

Successful,

Amazing,

Perfect,

Beautiful,

Resourced,

Cared for and fail a lot at the same time?

Okay.

So just take a deep breath there,

I'm going to sit with your energy for a sec.

So what's helpful here,

And if anybody else deals with this thing,

With this energy,

Moving towards feeling like a failure,

Just letting yourself process that energy with a transmutation video that I sent you guys,

So that that internalized feeling of feeling like a failure can just process through your body.

Because once it processes through your body,

You don't have to create a story about how many times you've done something,

You know?

That's because that shit cleared out your system.

I love it.

So yeah,

Pop in fear of failure,

Being a failure,

Let that move through you.

Cool.

And if there's anything else there,

Let me know.

Are you,

Can you come on a sec?

And if you don't want to,

You don't have to,

I feel like there's something else in your comment and I don't know what it is,

But I feel like we can figure it out.

Hi.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

There's something under this.

I haven't touched yet.

Okay.

So let's look at too much and anybody on this call that deals with feeling too much.

I don't even know if this is the right question,

But like,

What am I afraid would happen if somebody called me too much or what emotion is evoked in me?

Like,

Why am I protecting myself from feeling too much?

And what might,

What might happen if somebody called me too much?

Like if you let yourself be too much,

What might happen?

This is what's coming now.

What is,

What is,

And this,

You don't have to answer this and we can all kind of answer together if it helps you not feel so spotlighted,

But what are you afraid is too much about you?

Like if you really vulnerably was like,

I'm revealing this or like when you are a certain way or you say a certain thing or you act a certain way,

You're like,

Oh fuck,

That's way too much for the world.

Different ideas.

Your ideas are too much.

There we go.

Too loud.

What else?

Emotional.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Cool.

Uh,

That's why you're here cause I help women who are ready,

Uh,

Express their divine fullness,

But they do not teach us our divine fullness queens in first grade.

They teach us,

Suck it up,

Zip it up.

You're too much.

Um,

How we retrain this one,

Uh,

Takes time cause it's such a visceral trauma response around emotions.

Um,

But it's finding safe containers.

I'm a safe container cause there's many of you on here.

I've worked with one-on-one as well,

And you know,

Your emotions are welcome here.

I'm very emotional in my life.

Um,

Finding safe containers and safe people who can hold that for you.

So what you do know,

You got it right.

Yeah.

No,

No,

It's okay.

Have you taken my nine days to activate your feminine power course?

I have.

I,

Yeah.

Yes.

Part of it.

Part of it.

Okay.

There's a really cool,

There's a couple of them about feminine emotions in there that I feel like would be really serving for you if you haven't done those.

I need to.

Yeah.

Well,

If only,

If it ever,

Only if it resonates,

Um,

So look,

You guys,

This has been same journey.

Um,

Grew up in a very intimacy issues family on the dad side.

And I,

As a big feeler,

Big lover,

And everyone's just like stoic and shut down.

And I was like,

What the fuck am I supposed to do with all of this?

Right?

So it got suppressed.

I learned to be quiet.

I learned to stay out of the way.

And so my journey has been,

Um,

Realizing how natural and normal,

Uh,

The feminine is and how big our feelings are and how we feel so much all day,

Every day.

And it's not too much.

It's not crazy.

It's not hysterical.

Um,

There is a difference between,

Uh,

Raw emotion moving through you and energy moving through you and wounds,

Right?

And the ego coming in,

Protecting and all of this stuff.

But what I've learned,

This has taken me years to see,

And I'm still in it,

But I talk about this in my feminine course,

But if,

If we do not blame,

Shame,

Attack,

Or defend blame,

Shame,

Attack,

Or defend,

And I can write these down if you want me to,

Because we want to blame and we want to attack because we don't want to feel what's underneath of that.

But the raw energy of,

And I know some of you,

We talked about this earlier today with some of you,

I feel whatever the fuck is under that.

I feel angry.

I feel hopeless.

I feel sad.

I feel jealous.

I feel despair.

Okay.

Um,

It is,

That is what it is to be a woman.

That is what it is to have feminine energy is that you are.

And we're talking about with Cameron too,

Like what's the difference between controlling life and receiving life,

Receiving that emotion,

Welcoming it and loving it back home,

Which is why I'm a huge teacher of self-love and have a lot of self-love courses out there because it starts with you creating a safe space for yourself,

Finding containers like this and other people where you can let these emotions out and using phrases like every,

And I teach this in my den classes.

Everything is welcome here.

This feeling is okay.

I am willing to allow and accept this 2% at a time.

The transmutation video I sent you guys is awesome,

Right?

So we relearn,

I've been taking these intimacy courses with my boyfriend for a close to a year now,

And it's been a massive retraining for my nervous system because my deepest fear was like,

If somebody sees me in this like ugliness,

This emotional,

This,

Like people are going to like,

I don't know,

Put me in an institution or something because I feel all the things all day,

Every day.

And I definitely can't reveal it to him.

Now this is,

This blew my mind,

Which is why I'm sharing this story.

And I've shared this to some of you before,

But it bears repeating.

Every time I show up to this course and this man with this exercise where I say,

I feel,

And it's sometimes I'll be like cruising like this.

You guys,

No big deal.

I feel like I'm fine.

I'm having a good time.

We'll get off the call.

Six o'clock will be my class.

I'll have somebody's unconditional presence because in the course it's like safe space just sits there with me and allows it,

Welcomes it,

How we can do for ourselves.

I will like be grief crying,

Like something that had happened back when I was three,

Just a wailing,

You know,

When you lose somebody you love and you're like,

Oh,

I don't even know what they call that.

There's a word for it where you're just like grief crying.

Right.

And it'll be in my eyes,

Ugly.

This is so embarrassing.

I do not look pretty right now.

Like there's probably some hot girl in LA with shit together that my boyfriend would rather be with than me being a dramatic drama queen who's emotional and bringing the energy of the room down,

All the shit that's going on in my head and that man will look at me every goddamn time with you are so beautiful.

I see a woman who has so much potential,

Who's a goddamn warrior,

Who is a light,

Who was learning to love herself,

Whatever it may be,

And not blow and shit up my ass.

It's what's coming.

He can,

He sees the energy,

He sees the emotion and he,

He bears witness.

The masculine bears witness to the feminine right now.

Most of the time,

Cause you may be like,

I don't have proof of that.

I didn't have proof of that until I was in this safe container of this intimacy class.

When we would be in arguments,

It was a bunch of bullshit.

So I'd be like,

Oh,

My feelings aren't allowed here.

That's why I'm saying not your egoic trauma,

Shaming,

Blaming bullshit.

Real emotion is fucking beautiful.

How?

I don't know,

But I've seen time and time again,

Him showing up to me every time he feels closer to me,

Every time he falls more in love with me,

Every time he wants to have sex with me.

And I'm like,

I'm literally sitting here looking like a crazy person and it's making a,

So that's how I know from my explorations.

We've been taught wrong.

There's nothing wrong with our feelings.

There's nothing wrong with allowing them and moving them.

You know,

My journey has been through physical illness.

That's why I got into healing work.

And it was because I had suppressed the massive amount of energy that moves through me on a daily basis.

And so I've had to learn self-love.

I've had to learn to find safe containers from my perceived too muchness.

And do you know what I call it now,

Which I invite you all to call it now,

Divine fullness.

And that's why I help women who are ready to express and embody and their divine fullness is many things,

But it's,

It's the enormity of your pure divine expression that someone calls too much,

Which is just bizarre.

And it's a lot of trauma.

And our society is so traumatized out of holding feelings for people.

So it is going to be challenging at first to find people who can hold that for us.

So you can practice each time,

Not rejecting yourself.

That's where we begin,

Right?

You don't have to show a goddamn soul.

You can go into your bedroom every single day.

I will sit down and put my hand on my heart and say,

How do you feel?

And I will breathe into the sensation of it in my body,

Because I know that that's how I make money.

I know that that's how I make friends.

I know that that's how I heal because I'm meeting something that was rejected.

And by me saying,

Hey,

You're welcome here,

Fear.

Hey,

You're welcome here,

Sadness.

Hey,

You're welcome here,

Hopelessness.

It moves through.

And I am a receiver of life.

We are all receivers of life.

And when it's flowing,

Guess what else is flowing in there?

Freedom,

Insight,

Joy.

There's an incredible book by David Bohm called The 12 Obstacles to Enlightenment.

David Bohm,

The 12 Obstacles to Enlightenment.

It's a very short book,

And he talks about loving half of ourself.

And this was news to me because I've been doing this work professionally for 10 years.

The first half of my journey,

I'm like,

Are you fucking kidding me?

Going into the darkness,

Feeling your feelings like that will heal you.

And I was only loving half of myself.

I said only this expansive,

Positive,

Joyful part is what's welcome here.

But I didn't know I had so much fear around the other half of me,

Which is the feminine in all of us,

Right?

They did a study with children.

Emotions without the story last 90 seconds.

So if we can practice this with ourselves,

Feeling into the energy that's here,

All right,

I'm going to welcome it.

Whatever it is,

Persist.

Let me love myself fully.

Let me allow this to be here.

I don't have to show it to the whole world.

I welcome it.

I breathe it.

Just the opposite of suppressing it,

Rejecting it,

Running from it.

Find safe spaces.

Let the other people feel weird around me with it.

But I'll tell you,

You guys,

When you start to feel safe in it and it takes some nervous system retraining because it's really uncomfortable at first,

You shift people around you and your emotions.

Like I never was vulnerable around my dad.

We've had challenges and we've gotten to a really beautiful,

Decent place now.

And I called him because the weirdest thing,

But I have all these wild spiritual experiences,

But I called him like three or four months ago because I was just overwhelmed with love for him.

It was as if it was just soul to soul and all the human bullshit and trauma didn't exist.

And for me to show,

Like I would have been the kid that was too much like Jamie's crying love and it's so dramatic and it's a Tuesday and we're just making lunch.

Why are you professing your love to your dad on the phone randomly?

But I called him anyway because I understand wisdom and I'm sobbing on the phone.

I just,

I just needed you to know that I love you and I don't know why,

But I needed you to know.

And he was like,

Wow,

Aren't I lucky?

And so I have had to learn and which is why I'm sharing this from my heart to all of you today to cultivate courage,

To choose me,

To realize that most of the time people shift on the outside and follow suit.

Because when I love me enough to say,

Hey,

I just want to share this with this person.

You know,

They're not,

They're not like,

Oh,

That's too much.

He might not be able to hold that vulnerability as long as I can because he hasn't done the work,

You know,

But okay.

That's what I got for that one for you.

You feel complete or is there any other thought or question?

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Thank you.

You're very welcome.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What a great exploration you brought in.

It's my quote.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

I make a sovereign choice,

Right?

People over here to try to be liked and fit in,

Do things in the masculine way and whatever.

And then again,

It's having that massive compassion for ourselves.

Holy fuck.

I've been living in this way for so long.

All right.

I see this other way.

Let me at least hold the intentionality and open to the possibility and follow the path there.

Look at my fears,

Which we're doing today so beautifully.

We're clearing so much energy,

You guys,

Of why I'm afraid to choose me.

And then as we move forward,

We'll feel safer sitting in that console in our consciousness.

All right.

Let me see what else we can get to before we complete today.

Just for confirmation,

I struggle with this too,

Also with upbringing,

But we were just speaking in case it's helpful.

If not,

Please ignore.

For me,

I try to remember if people think I'm too much or not enough,

That's really them projecting their own stuff onto me.

Exactly.

And then we're the permission givers of a new way.

I think we got to this last time as well or the time before.

It's like when we just remember who we are,

It's like,

Wait a minute,

I came here to choose me.

I came here to be an example of self-love.

I came here to be an example of self-honoring.

Oh,

People are going to project everything that is not that on to me.

Cool.

I'm an example of a new way.

I get to liberate myself and then those who are ready to be liberated too.

Those aren't my people.

Yeah.

Well,

The other thing while listening is something Jamie has showed me.

When we move up into a higher frequency,

We attract less people like that.

Exactly.

It's always benevolent when we move into that new way.

We're met in that new way because our energy fields in a new frequency,

So people show up to us in that new frequency.

Spot fucking on.

Okay.

It resonated.

What I think about that causes the angst.

We already did that one.

Okay.

Thanks.

The paralyzing pain and the mindset of I should keep moving at all costs gets in the way.

Should keep moving at all costs.

Are you talking about that sympathetic feeling?

That urgency feeling?

Go,

Go,

Go.

Is that what you mean by moving at all costs?

Please.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What a gift your body's not up to the effort because it'll show you there's another way,

Right?

A deeper way of effortlessness and flow.

So what do you prefer?

Like,

What's the intention as opposed to I have to keep moving at all costs to have what I want?

Like,

What would you prefer even if you don't know that reality?

Absolutely.

Reassurance.

Reassurance of what are you looking for?

So let's do this.

We have to look at disconfirming evidence or proof.

So can I look,

Because there's going to be other stuff in there,

But can I look at my past and see that thus far what has always been mine finds me and look for proof of that?

Yeah.

Okay.

I would journal if I were you.

How has,

Because whatever you're afraid of,

Look at the opposite.

How has,

You know,

I'm afraid what has always been mine won't find me if I keep doing,

If I don't keep doing things.

Okay.

How has,

Even when I rest,

Even when I do,

In my past,

Have things found me?

Woken me up.

Love has found me.

I have known what to do.

So write it down.

And then when you write it down,

You know,

Some of this from trauma healing,

Write it down and then notice,

How does this make my body feel when I see proof of the opposite?

Oh,

My shoulders just relax.

I just took a deep breath.

Yeah.

Was it helpful?

Okay.

Good love.

Massive aspirations,

Grandiose dreams,

Intelligent,

But also deep self-doubt emotions,

The range can feel too much.

Massive aspirations.

Yeah.

Divine fullness.

Right?

Big dreams.

Intelligent,

But also deep self-doubt emotions.

The range can feel too much.

Yeah.

We're,

We're literally like who,

Our nature is infinite.

We're in a,

We're in a quantum field of infinite potentiality.

So it's natural to have grandiose dreams,

Massive aspirations.

We're plugged into infinite potentiality.

And so others talk about projection,

Like others who have not lived out or experienced infinite potentiality are going to project that onto you.

Because if you start dreaming and manifesting,

Then you're going to be an example of what they don't have.

And then they have to face the pain.

So if they can shut people down around them,

Innocently,

This is all done unconsciously.

Well,

Then I don't have to feel my pain.

So if you choose you and you're like,

I'm going to be a big dreamer and follow my dreams and have a big imagination,

Then they,

People around you get uncomfortable because it's stirring up what they haven't looked at yet,

But you're an awakener,

Right?

That's what we do as we awaken.

As we awaken,

We stir up that which hasn't been resolved for resolution so that it can be met with love and cleared.

So hand on the heart,

You guys,

I give myself permission to have big dreams and massive aspirations and be loved,

Met and shown up for at the same time.

It's natural to have them.

As natural as a tree is in my yard is a big dream in my head.

Others have them too.

They just suppress them if they're not saying them.

Desires are implanted in us.

Interesting.

Okay.

So this just came in as very subtle,

But helpful,

Simple,

But helpful to realize like,

Oh,

Everyone,

Even if they're not showing it to me,

That person has big aspirations too.

This might be too painful for them to look at,

But they have it implanted in them too.

So everyone has equal opportunity to fulfill their divine mission,

Divine purpose,

Dreams,

Et cetera.

So it's not like something I have.

And when I show it,

It's too much.

And I'm just this weird person over here with big dreams.

It's like,

Oh wait,

We all have them.

I'm just choosing to look at them,

Get to know them.

Maybe what you think is for you,

Isn't actually for you.

And what is actually for you will always find you.

That's beautiful.

Maybe what you think is for you,

Isn't actually for you.

And what is actually for you will always find you.

Yeah.

That's the belief in the benevolent universe again,

Too.

It's like it's all programmed in here.

We can sit back and relax and enjoy the ride a little bit more.

See these receivers,

Follow inspiration,

Have desires,

Know it's a specific desire for us because it's a specific soul experience for us.

And just start to look for proof of like,

Wow,

I'm held by something greater than me.

Because otherwise we are living separate,

Trying to control,

Very afraid.

And when we're like,

I'm plugged into the divine,

I don't need to be so afraid because God's live in this expression of dream and purpose and truth and love and whatever it may be through me.

It's not even about me.

I am a vessel of this experience of life,

This specific experience of life.

So then it's beyond like too much,

Not enough,

Too big,

Whatever.

It's just like,

Oh,

I'm an expression of the divine and I'm just going to follow that.

And in God,

I am safe.

I forgot it was bigger than me.

Bigger than my small mind's ideas.

Deep breath.

That was a lot of energy moving,

You guys.

Let's do another one little regulating resource.

We're just going to do the same ones as before.

Actually,

Let's check in.

Where are you?

Are you feeling more regulated in the center,

Calm,

Curious,

Open?

Are you feeling a little low-end,

Dorsal?

Are you feeling a little high-end,

Sympathetic?

Are you feeling a little frozen,

Push-pull of both?

Where are you?

And within where you are,

From 1 to 10,

1 being peaceful,

10 being a little heavy,

A little dense.

Notice the number that you are existing.

And let's just do a couple centering and grounding tools.

We're just going to tap on our shoulders.

You can try this way or this way.

And my body's actually naturally doing this,

Which is so funny because swaying is also a grounding tool.

Swaying forward and back or swaying side to side.

You can actually imagine that you are in a kelp forest in the ocean,

And your spine is planted and grounded in the bottom of the ocean,

And your body is swaying to some sade.

Is it sha-day or sa-day?

It's a good song.

I got to put that on after this.

Okay.

Now,

Hand on one cheek or both cheeks.

And while you do this,

Always breathing is the number one go-to for regulating.

Breathe in into the belly,

Up into the chest,

And long,

Slow exhale.

Just noticing how you feel.

Keep breathing and relaxing for a moment.

And then I'm just going to shake the hands.

This is also another tool,

Just shaking out the body.

I release any energy that isn't mine.

I am me and only me,

And I choose me.

And when I choose me,

It's a win-win for all.

When I choose me,

It's a win-win for all.

Okay.

Yes,

We did it.

This was amazing.

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

The entire purpose of it is going to be another eight-week container.

It's going to start in a little over a month.

Same format.

Facebook group,

Where I'm going to send gifts,

Homework,

Questions.

And then we're going to meet for 90 minutes once a week.

It's the same,

Similar situation.

Intimate group.

And the purpose of this one is going to be to find that part of ourselves.

Because the part of ourself that is fierce.

The part of ourself that is powerful.

The part of ourself that is unfuckable with.

We as women and as feminine essence beings have an easier time being soft.

Have an easier time being loving.

Have an easier time being people-pleasing.

And I know for me personally,

I never felt safe.

I never felt protected.

I never felt like it was okay to express myself and speak my truth.

I was afraid of being a bitch.

And when I worked with these archetypes and realized fierce honoring of myself.

Fierce boundaries.

Fierce truth.

Fierce love.

That was what I needed.

It was like the safety and protection didn't come from outside of me.

That's what I needed to feel safe going forward in life being a warrior of light.

And so I know there's a lot of entrepreneurs,

Spiritual entrepreneurs,

Artists who are bringing a lot of light to the planet.

And so to me,

This was the other missing piece of like how do I find that groundedness,

Rootedness,

Fierce lioness that's like the ferocious one who also comes in love.

So it's balancing those energies.

I'm so excited about it.

If you want to know more,

There's tons of details.

I wrote out what each week is going to be about.

Why these archetypes are so important.

And I always have this.

I wrote about this image in my book.

But like a woman carrying a machete just like slashing through the forest.

Like this is where I'm going.

I'm choosing me.

Which is so perfect because this got created through me.

And I'm like oh,

My God.

We're all grounding in and saying I choose me.

And now how can I find that safe ground to walk on to forge my way through to say this is my path.

This is how I'm bringing my light onto the earth.

You are beautiful.

And this experience was beautiful.

Thank you.

This was so incredible and great to connect with you all.

Thank you,

Dami,

So much for this beautiful journey.

Thank you,

Everyone.

Thank you,

Guys.

What a collective energy.

What a powerful group of souls.

This isn't goodbye.

This is farewell.

And I'll talk to you guys all soon.

Lots of love.