Perfectionism Doesn't Belong In The New Business Paradigm

In Episode 4 of the Biz Alchemy™ podcast, Jacquelyn explores her perfectionistic tendencies and the realisation from her recent illness that her rigid expectations of herself and the new business paradigm are not good bedfellows!

She also chats about perfectionism and how this constricts the throat chakra, preventing you from showing up to your clients in your full creative expression.

Transcript

This is my third attempt to record this podcast,

Which interestingly is titled Perfectionism and the New Business Paradigm Do Not Make Good Bedfellows.

And I have had builders going next door,

Even though it's a Saturday,

Dogs barking,

My neighbour coming to give me a parcel that's been delivered,

All while attempting to record this podcast on perfectionism.

Perhaps I should have just let it go,

But I thought,

No,

I'm just going to try again.

This time I'm just going to include it all in.

Okay,

So if the neighbour comes back,

The builders start sawing or hammering,

The dog starts barking,

You're going to get it all.

So interestingly,

This was not the scheduled podcast for this week.

If you've listened to my previous podcasts,

You'll know that I've been exploring the beach philosophy with you.

And this week was A,

Which I was all ready to record for you two weeks ago.

And then something happened in my life,

Which I'll talk about a bit today,

Which put that on hold.

And this morning I was feeling better.

I've not been well.

And this morning I was feeling better and I thought,

Okay,

I'm going to record that podcast.

I'm ready.

And I went to the beach this morning and I had a swim and it was overcast.

It was really quiet.

And I just sat there on the beach and I was actually,

There were crabs everywhere because it was so quiet.

Crabs of all different sizes were sort of coming up and doing their business and going back down in the sand.

And I was so mesmerised and so present.

And I was reflecting on what's happened to me in the last couple of weeks and just some insights I've had.

And I thought,

I have to talk about this in my podcast.

I have to share this today because it's so true for me right now.

It's what's going on in my life right now.

And this podcast will be released a couple of days after I've recorded it.

And so it just felt important for me to share this message because,

You know,

My business journey is all about my personal development,

As I'm sure you've discovered.

For you,

It's the same.

And so this feels relevant.

So I actually had to let go of the perfectionism around the fact that the beach philosophy,

The talking about the B,

The E,

The A,

The C and the H have to be sequential.

You cannot have any interruption to that.

I had to let go of that to bring you this interruption podcast.

Because the thing is,

The new business paradigm isn't just about how your business looks,

How your business operates or how you operate within your business.

It's also about your internal terrain.

You know,

My work is based in energy and you can do everything to adopt this new way of being in your business.

But if you aren't deep diving within and releasing the stories and beliefs that are keeping you in an old way of operating,

Then you can never truly be operating your business in a new paradigm.

So this is what I've encountered the last couple of weeks.

So just to update you on what's brought me to this place is that almost two weeks ago now,

I went to a doctor.

I'd been having headaches for three weeks.

I'd woken every day with a headache,

Which was starting to disrupt my business.

And I never go to doctors.

I don't have a GP.

And Mark,

My partner,

Who's not here because he's in Ireland,

Was pressuring me saying,

You know,

Really,

You've got to go and see about this.

And so I did.

Fortunately,

I did,

Because when the doctor took my blood pressure,

It was through the roof,

Incredibly high,

Dangerously high.

And I had to go straight to hospital to just to help lower it,

But also to start running tests to find out what was going on,

What was causing the headaches and where the headache was,

The headaches causing the blood pressure or the blood,

The increased blood pressure causing the headaches.

And to be honest,

At this point in time,

It's still not known.

However,

At least I'm on a couple of different medications for my blood pressure,

My high blood pressure.

And today's the first time it's been normal because I've now got a monitor at home.

So which is great.

So that's what's given me the energy to record this podcast today.

What is really interesting about that is,

Of course,

I thought was immediately went,

Oh,

Louise,

Hey,

What does she say about high blood pressure?

And I don't have,

I used to have Louise Hay's book and Annette Noontil's book,

The Body is the Barometer of the Soul,

And I don't have them anymore.

I just moved so much and cleared out.

And so I just went online.

So I Googled,

So I just Googled high blood pressure Louise Hay and ended up being taken to this lady's website who mentioned Louise Hay,

But then actually brought through her own interpretation of high blood pressure.

And one of the things she stated was that it usually happens to people who have perfectionistic tendencies and who have rigid expectations of themselves.

And as soon as I read that,

I went,

Oh,

My gosh,

Look at this.

This is my third recording of this podcast to get it right.

I mean,

I didn't go far into it,

Only a couple of minutes the other times,

But my expectations of myself,

Of the way I show up in the world,

Of my output,

My performance are high.

And I have realized this since reading that and sitting with it.

I've,

It's like I've,

I'm getting this wake up call saying,

Well,

You know,

You're talking about this new business paradigm.

You're supporting women.

You know,

I'm establishing this big community next year,

The Biz Alchemy Playground to take women on this journey with me in incorporating a new business paradigm.

And yet,

How can I have these rigid expectations of my performance,

Of the way I show up in my business,

Of what I'm creating in my business,

Of the quality of it,

If you like.

How can I have that and still exist and create my business around a new business?

Around a new paradigm of ease and flow and fun.

And yes,

I've been aware of this to a certain extent for some time and have been doing my own work on letting go here and on letting go some of the perfectionism.

And I've,

I've,

I have managed to let go of,

Um,

You know,

I'm significantly less of a perfectionist,

Let's say,

Than I used to be.

But it was that phrase,

Rigid expectations of yourself that really hit home to me.

And as a result of that,

And also on my doctor's recommendations,

I canceled all my clients last week.

Uh,

It was my last week of the year with clients,

So it was a very full week,

But I let it go.

And of course,

Everyone's amazingly understanding and supportive.

And I felt so blessed by the community of women I have around me,

But it gave me time to sit with this,

To sit with this rigid expectations of myself.

And so of course,

This morning when I thought,

Oh my gosh,

This is what I have to talk about on my podcast.

And then the other part of me went,

But hang on,

You're most,

You're meant to talk about the A today.

Uh,

So of course I saw it in action,

Like straight away.

I went,

Oh my gosh.

And I have to confess,

Mark often says to me,

Why do you put that expectation on yourself?

You,

You put this expectation on yourself that something has to be done by certain time,

But it doesn't.

And the world is not going to collapse around you if it doesn't get done.

And I,

Since he's talked about me doing this,

Um,

Especially in the last year or two,

I have been able to observe when I get into that place,

When I feel myself put this pressure on that this thing has to be done by this time,

Just because in my mind,

I had set that time as when I'd be complete in that.

But in actual fact,

It makes absolutely no difference at all.

If that thing is not done by then.

And,

You know,

Especially in relation to your audience,

It's,

Or your clients,

You know,

It's almost like I put this pressure on,

I shouldn't say your,

My audience,

My clients.

I put this pressure on to maybe produce something and have it out there.

No one's sitting there waiting for it.

You know,

No one would know any different if,

If that thing came out a week later or a month later,

Or even a year later,

No one knows,

No one actually cares.

And yet I'm putting this pressure on myself.

So it has been very insightful for me to,

To have this time.

I actually also saw a naturopath last week that my doctor referred me to,

To have a hair mineral analysis done,

Um,

Because he's looking at how I can maintain a normal blood pressure naturally,

Uh,

So that I can come off the medications.

And one of the ways is to look at the minerals in my body.

And anyway,

She offered the most amazing insight because she questioned me much more deeply.

And what came up was the fact that I have had like an underlying,

Very low grade infection in my bottom left wisdom tooth for months now.

And the dentist just said,

Oh,

Inject it with sodium peroxide.

And there's nothing we can do other than the major sort of surgery of having it removed.

And it's,

It's not even like it's under skin,

You know,

So,

Um,

But two teeth up from that.

I had a root canal done years ago,

Which has always given me problems.

And the,

Um,

Naturopath went,

I think,

Cause it,

The,

Sorry,

I'll just go back.

The meridian coming from that wisdom tooth goes to the heart.

And so the naturopath said,

I think it's your teeth causing it.

Plus I also had an amalgam removed a couple of months ago.

So,

You know,

All this stuff has been going on in my teeth and that's what she believes is the connection.

So I am going to some holistic dentists up on the Gold Coast,

Which is about an hour north of where I live next week.

And hopefully they will get to the bottom of that.

Uh,

And that will allow everything to stabilize again,

Fingers crossed because every other test I've had has come back negative,

Which is good because it means I'm healthy in every other way.

Um,

But so interesting that my teeth could be the cause of this.

And also on that same side,

The left side,

I've had shoulder problems all year that I thought,

I thought it was a frozen shoulder.

And now the naturopath is linking that in to what's going on in my teeth.

So very interesting.

I'm very aware that that's my feminine side,

My throat chakra and third eye and heart on my feminine side.

So doing lots of exploration and journaling around that.

And while I speak of chakras,

Perfectionism is something that is very strongly linked with the throat chakra.

And interesting for me,

Because starting a podcast is a real activation of the throat chakra,

Obviously,

Because that's the one chakra that's really highlighted in a through in a podcast because you're,

You're just having my voice.

You're just,

You're listening.

So your throat chakra is being activated and I'm speaking to you and you're not,

There's no visual.

So it's really so powerfully throat chakra.

So this is being activated in me at the moment.

So it's interesting.

All of this should come,

You know,

At the same time.

And actually,

Even as I say that,

The fact my podcast ended up being delayed two or three weeks,

Uh,

Because I hadn't got approval from Apple,

Uh,

Which ended up being something I hadn't done,

But it's,

You know,

And I was thinking,

How am I self-sabotaging here?

So there's definite throat chakra involvement.

And even as I'm saying it,

I can feel my throat chakra getting just a little bit phlegmy.

So it's,

It's still clearing out,

But the perfectionism,

Uh,

Constricts the throat chakra.

It's,

It's such a controlling energy.

And so it constricts the way you communicate yourself to the world because you have this,

Uh,

Judgment,

Which is also a throat chakra thing,

Judgment around,

Um,

What is right and what is wrong.

Because that's all perfectionism is,

Isn't it?

It's saying I have to get this as right as possible.

So there's an incredible judgment around it.

And so in,

In that judgment,

You block off flow.

You block off the flow from your heart.

You,

You block off experimentation.

You block off fun.

You block off accepting what is.

Accepting that whatever's created,

Because a podcast is a creation,

Speaking on a podcast,

I'm creating,

So I'm judging my creation.

That's what perfectionism does.

So then that limits your creative expression,

Which is what your throat chakra is all about.

So big,

Big learnings for me here around this.

And I wanted to share this with you.

You may relate to some of what I'm saying,

Or maybe all of what I'm saying.

And I hope for your sake that,

Um,

You don't have to go through this journey that I'm going through at the moment,

My body's way of saying,

Wake up.

Um,

So I've woken up and I mean,

Even the timing of it,

I have taken three weeks off clients at Christmas.

So even though I had to take off this extra week,

I now have three weeks break to really nurture myself,

To really listen to myself and explore the meaning of this for me.

You know,

This is so much what a part of being an entrepreneur is,

Is that we have the lessons as we go along.

Okay.

And those lessons are usually in the wisdom that we're sharing.

You know,

What we're teaching,

There's always more to learn.

And,

You know,

As I often say to my clients,

You just have to be half a step ahead of your own clients.

And so I am going through this journey so that I can be more empowered to hold the space for my tribe to go through this journey as well.

Interestingly,

Yesterday,

I recorded a chakra clearing visualization for the end of a cycle.

So on Monday,

We are finishing a seasonal cycle.

Obviously,

It's also close to the end of the calendar year.

It's a visualization that can be used at the end of a moon cycle,

You know,

Any cycle really.

And as I was recording it yesterday,

I was actually quite deeply in the visualization as I was expressing it.

And so obviously,

You know,

My body was going through the clearing at the same time,

And I could really feel the throat clearing as I was giving the guidance in the visualization.

So it's not at all surprising,

Having gone through that yesterday,

That I had this realization this morning about what it was important for me to speak about to you today.

For me,

This rigidity around the expectations I have of myself,

I'm done with that cycle.

So that is what I'm choosing to complete as part of these sort of cycle of the seasons that's happening at the moment.

That's what I'm choosing to let go of.

So what will you choose?

And can I just make a little suggestion here?

When you decide what it is that you are ready to let go of,

Just put sort of at the end of that in ease and grace.

Okay?

That's something we can forget to do.

And we decide,

Okay,

This,

I'm letting go of this.

I'm not wanting to take this into the next cycle.

And the universe goes,

Okay,

Great.

What that done as quickly as possible?

Boom.

Okay?

And then you end up in hospital with extremely high blood pressure or whatever it is for you.

So remember to actually just put that thing in there about it being easy.

Okay?

Just tack that on at the end so that you can do it in a way that is a little more gradual for you.

Unfortunately,

It is not very often that the releasing,

That the letting go is done painlessly,

But it can be.

It can be.

And this is what I'm choosing in the future.

So thank you for joining me today and have an alchemical holiday season.

See you next time for the A of the beach philosophy.

Reviews

Wow! This was so good. Thank you for sharing your story

There were so many wonderful bits of advice I have taken away from your talk. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Teeth and my jaw have also been issues for me. I never related them to any of my ailments. Now I’d like to see a naturopath also. So thank you very much. 🙏🏾🌸🙏🏾

Thanks for sharing the high blood pressure, the wisdom tooth issue in this talk. I have high blood pressure occasionally due to anxiety i am a perfectionist, a female enterpreneur as well. The next time when I go to my dentist for cleaning i will check my root canal as well. I did have root canal issue on and off from the same tooth 2 to 3 years ago. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you so much for sharing, I feel so understood. And inspired. By you.

Needed to hear this today. Thank you.

Thank you, I can totally relate to the “rigid expectations” and am also releasing that cycle. :)