Welcome back to lesson 3,
Where we're going to talk about the difference between toxic positivity and radical acceptance.
So toxic positivity feels pretty self-explanatory,
Right?
It's that forced feeling of joy and happiness that we have to put off to make others more comfortable.
Maybe it's in our workspaces or at home,
But it means that we have to appear positive,
Even though internally we may be suffering or going through a lot of pain.
And for a lot of us,
We don't have a choice about having to be in these spaces.
But it can come at a cost to have to put on this act time and time again.
When we're exhausted,
When we're sad,
When we're having a hard time,
It can feel exhausting.
With toxic positivity,
There's no room for emotion.
There's no room for the reality of what's happening,
Which is that there's some pain or frustration.
Toxic positivity tells us to shove down everything,
To put our emotions away and put on a happy face.
Toxic positivity tells us to shove everything down and to ignore what we need.
It tells us to put on a happy face,
To put on a show for everybody else.
Maybe it's to appease them,
Or maybe it's to keep ourselves feeling safe.
But either way,
We're having to put on a mask.
Now in radical acceptance,
We're talking about allowing everything.
Allowing all of the emotions,
Allowing all of the negative feelings that are coming up and saying,
You deserve to be here.
They may not feel comfortable,
We may not like that we're feeling this way,
But we're honoring what's going on for ourselves and our bodies and our minds.
Radical acceptance doesn't mean that we're okay with what's happening or that we're endorsing it.
It just means that we're fully understanding and aware of what's happening.
And that is going to lead us to action or peace.
Radical acceptance puts the balls back in the universe's court.
It says,
Yes,
This is hard and yes,
This sucks right now,
And I'm going to survive it because I've survived much worse than this.
Toxic positivity says,
I had a bad day at work and I should just get over it because I am lucky to even have a job.
I shouldn't be complaining.
Whereas radical acceptance says,
Yeah,
I had a bad day at work and that sucks and I deserve to feel frustrated.
It's not okay that my boss talked to me in that way and it sucks that I really do need this job right now.
So what's something that I can do today to take care of myself?
Toxic positivity says,
I can handle everything,
I'm fine,
I don't have to bother anybody with my problems because I can handle it all.
Radical acceptance says,
I'm having a hard time right now and that's very human of me.
And maybe I'm frustrated that I'm having a hard time,
But I'm going to reach out for support or I'm going to move some things around so I have more time for myself.
One is acknowledging our human experience and the other is denying it.
And like we've talked about,
When we don't listen to the cues and the signals that our body is giving us,
They get louder and come out in even more creative ways,
Which distracts us from being present in our daily lives.
So it's a cycle.
The first journal prompt for this section is,
I want you to think about the areas in your life where you have to perform that positivity.
Where are you and what is it like?
How do you feel after?
What is your energy like after?
How much capacity do you have?
Maybe it's people,
Places,
Jobs,
Hobbies,
Anything.
Where can you not be fully yourself?
And for the second journal prompt,
I want you to think about what's one thing you can do today to validate yourself and validate the human experiences that you're having.
This could be journaling,
Writing a love letter to yourself,
Saying no to something that you really really feel like you should say no to.
And then think about what that validation is leading to in terms of radical acceptance.
So are you having to accept that you are deserving of rest and care?
Are you having to accept that you deserve to feel frustrated?
And on a final note,
Reminding yourself that you are not a bad person for having these feelings.
You're not hurting anybody by the things that you think in your head and you get to decide what you share.
So how are you validating yourself and what are you accepting today?
Thank you so much for making it through part three.
I'll see you in lesson four.
