Letting Go - A Series On The Attitudes Of Mindfulness (Week 3)

This is week 3 of the series. Letting go can feel like a difficult thing to do, but learning how to do this can be so liberating! This helps to move away from unsettling emotions and constricting and unhelpful thoughts. It's good to practise a "Leaves On A Stream" meditation regularly to help with overthinking and anxious thoughts.

Transcript

We are continuing looking at the nine attitudes of mindfulness,

And this week we look at the theme letting go.

We can get fixated on what we want in life,

And so we grasp and cling to that,

And we push away what we don't like or don't want.

This could be holding on to being right,

Or that your way of doing something is the only way,

An opinion,

Or that you want this and nothing else.

You might notice that you use the word should or shouldn't a lot,

And this could be a sign of being fixated on things being a certain way.

We can get fixed on viewpoints and attached to what we think we have to have to be happy,

But when we do this we close our minds and ourselves to openness and to possibilities.

Imagine what life might be like if you could let things go or let things be.

John Kabat-Zinn tells a story of how monkeys are trapped in India.

A hole is made in a coconut and a banana placed inside.

Then a wire is sent through the hole and it is hung from a tree.

The hole is cut so that the monkey can get his hand through to grab the banana but cannot get it back out.

The only way to free itself is to let go of the banana.

Oftentimes they choose not to do this and the monkey is then trapped.

Letting go,

Letting be is a door to freedom,

A freedom from unease,

Dispeace and dissatisfaction.

Just close your eyes for a minute.

Clench your fist as tight as you possibly can.

Harder,

Tighter,

Keep squeezing with all of your effort.

Notice what is happening in the other parts of your body whilst you do this.

See how the whole of your arm is tensed,

But also other parts of the body not even connected to your fist.

Did you clench your teeth,

Your jaw?

Did you call your toes?

Squeeze your eyes.

Keep clenching the fist and notice where else this is affecting.

And now release.

Relax the fist and the hand.

Let it go.

And now notice how that too affects other parts of the body.

That relaxing,

That softening.

Grasping and clinging to what we think we have to have affects lots of areas of our lives,

Our relationships,

Our future,

But also our physical bodies,

Our emotions and our health.

Not getting what we want or what we think we need causes our body to go on high alert and releases stress hormones into our body.

In short bursts and if we are no longer stressed,

Then these soon dissolve and no permanent damage is done.

But if we are constantly in this stressed state,

This hormone can cause havoc to our bodies.

Life can sometimes be very busy.

So many things that need our attention.

So do we have to add more stress by not being able to let go of things that we feel are so necessary to us.

This session is called Leaves on a Stream.

The practice is that every thought we have is placed on a leaf and allowed to float away on a stream.

Noticing that we don't have to get caught up in every thought,

We don't have to entertain every one of them and have opinions and narratives and decide it has to be this way or that and they should not be behaving like that or they need to see it from my point,

Which all leads to more thoughts and well,

It's just tiring.

So this practice is learning to let them all go,

Every single one of them.

They are just thoughts.

This one here is a sound that goes on the leaf and I watch it float away.

This thought is a plan.

I pop it on the leaf and I watch it go.

This here is a worry on the leaf and away it goes.

You can imagine writing a word actually on the leaf or you could imagine popping a post-it note on the leaf,

Whatever suits you.

This is about using your imagination,

So whatever is right for you.

So let's begin.

Get comfortable,

Seated or laying down and I invite you to close your eyes.

Take a couple of deep breaths right into your stomach as if your belly was blowing up like a balloon.

Nice and steady inhales and exhales.

Allow the body to relax and soften.

And now use your imagination.

See yourself in a field or a woods,

Whichever you prefer.

But in front of you,

You notice a river.

Walk over to it.

You might notice a sound of birdsong,

A soft gentle breeze and the warm sun on your face.

You look at the river.

Which way is it flowing?

Towards your left or towards your right?

What do you see around the river?

Is there a sandy area or is it pebbled?

Notice a place for you to sit down right next to the river.

Is this a tree trunk or a large flat rock or a soft smooth grassy area?

Or are you going to sit on the sand?

Head there and sit down.

Notice on the opposite side of the river,

Higher up the bank,

Is a tree.

You see there are leaves occasionally falling and landing on the river bank and also in the river.

You sit and watch some of the leaves.

Watch some of them floating on the river.

Watch them floating away from you.

And now be aware of every thought that comes into your head.

And imagine putting that thought onto a leaf and watch it heading away from you.

Every thought,

Every thought about that thought,

Every sound,

Every sensation you feel,

Every itch,

Every ache,

Every plan,

Worry,

Narrative,

Story,

Just keep popping them onto a leaf and watching them float away.

Even if they are good thoughts,

You are letting every one of them go.

When you feel you have a period of silence where there are no thoughts,

Even if for seconds,

Just expand your awareness to the picture in your imagination.

The river,

The place where you are sat,

The tree,

The leaves,

And then again when you notice a thought,

Once again,

Pop it on a leaf.

And just continue this in silence for a moment.

Again,

Keep awareness on your thoughts and your surroundings.

You might find you have completely wandered off and have been lost in thoughts for several seconds.

That's okay,

Just come back to the leaves and watching the thoughts drift away from you.

You are letting them go.

It might help to say what the thought is as you are writing it on the leaf.

For example,

Say to yourself as you are writing it,

Ache,

Plan,

Thought,

Etc.

Don't go into lots of details or it is possible you will get caught up in a story about those details and this will create more thoughts.

So just see if you can label it with one word maybe.

If you find there is a thought that you feel is really pressing and you can't let go of it because you are worried that you won't remember it,

Just have faith that it will come back to you when it is needed.

But for now,

Enjoy the peace of being able to let go.

Again,

If you have a respite in the thoughts,

Just enjoy the place where you are but be aware that that too could lead to thoughts.

Oh,

I love the sound of birdsong.

I like water.

This then leads to stories.

I wish I could live near the water.

I think I will go for more regular walks.

I like being outside.

Just be alert to every thought and be diligent to each and every one.

And now I will mention some words.

Notice how there is a tendency for the thoughts to create images or stories around these words.

So practice putting all of these onto the leaves,

Good or bad.

Chocolate.

Loud music.

A motorbike.

Hairdressers.

The colour black.

Love.

Hate.

Joy.

Sadness.

The river.

The ocean.

An apple.

A leaf.

And now allow this practice to fall away.

Sit where you are near the river and now allow your thoughts to flow freely and your imagination to run.

What do you notice?

What do you hear?

How do you feel right now?

What did you notice about your thoughts throughout this practice?

Could you see how your thoughts are connected to your emotions?

Just like the clenched fist created tensions elsewhere in the body,

Some of the words I said might have created emotions,

Pleasant or unpleasant,

Within you today.

Did you find this practice easy?

Difficult?

What did you learn from this practice?

Today we have practiced placing every thought on a leaf,

But this can be practiced with just one thought or thoughts in a difficult period.

When you feel overwhelmed with your thoughts or just can't get out of your head,

Practice this.

It does get easier and you will find you will have extended periods of stillness,

Calm and peace in your mind.

Regular practice of this helps you to be able to firstly be aware of your thoughts and secondly to choose which ones are not helpful to you and to let them go.

Maybe allowing things to just be rather than how you think they should be.

And now come away from the river and back to your senses,

Into your space where you are right now.

Become aware of any parts of the body in contact with clothing.

Can you notice how it feels for the sleeves of your top to touch your arm or wrists?

Do you have a watch on or any jewellery?

Can you notice a sensation of these against skin?

Do you feel how the hem of your skirt,

Shorts or trousers rest against your legs?

Do you notice socks against your feet or shoes?

Can you hear any noises outside of your space or inside?

Can you imagine the space where you are right now?

Can you picture it in your head?

Can you see where things are in your mind's eye?

And finally take a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth with a deep sigh.

And when you are ready,

Open your eyes.

Thank you.

Reviews

Superbly helpful as always, Mandy. Your calm voice and lovely accent make this one of the most memorable talks on this site. Thank you 🌟

This is the second attitude of mindfulness I have listened to. Mandy is delightful and the guidance is so helpful!

Learning from you every time!
Thank you Mandy, for my new and very useful mantra: Let Go Of The Banana! 🐒

I need to continue to work on letting go. So much I need to let go of stems from abandonment issues:/emotional abuse from childhood. I’m trying ! 💜