Do You Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage…It’s a horrible thing to do to yourself! How can we combat the terrible things we do and tell ourselves? It’s possible by staying positive and finding the tools that work for you! Let's become yes people together!

Transcript

Namaste everybody!

Welcome to In the Flow with Lori Albert.

I hope you're doing well today,

And I have a little bit of a confession to make today.

So,

I am a self-sabotager.

I know,

What does that mean exactly,

Right?

You know,

Yesterday there was a situation where it's a really awesome situation that I could be in,

Right?

And what happened was is that I actually was the other day and I sort of didn't act on it and it went away.

And I know that I am a self-sabotager.

I've known this for a long time.

I am not,

Believe it or not,

This little happy medium,

Right?

I am kind of a no person.

I'm not really a yes person.

And I'm trying to change that.

I am becoming,

You know what,

I'm gonna change the way I say that.

I am becoming a yes person.

Yeah,

Right.

I am becoming a yes person.

And it's so fascinating to go down this road.

And so I wanted to share it with you guys because there are ways to turn this around.

If you know that you're the type of person that is sort of self-destructive or self-sabotaging,

There's ways to turn it around.

And so,

Yeah,

I'm learning to be a yes person and I want to share it with you guys,

Okay?

All right,

So ways to tackle this,

Right?

This is not a scientific way to do this.

This is my sort of progress or not progress,

But my sort of way that I deal with this,

Okay?

First of all,

You have to recognize,

Right?

You have to recognize that you are exhibiting these self-sabotaging behaviors,

Right?

Like you have to recognize it because if you don't recognize it,

You can't fix it,

Right?

So you have to be honest with yourself.

And I think that being honest with yourself is one of the hardest things to do because,

You know,

There's nothing more sort of clarifying or sort of,

I'm not sure what the word is there.

There's nothing more understanding of yourself,

Obviously,

Than being honest,

Right?

So that's that,

Right?

Okay,

So that's number one in recognizing your self-sabotaging behavior.

Number two is allow yourself to sit with it.

Sit with it and accept it,

You know?

I have accepted that I'm kind of a no person.

I have accepted that I am kind of a no person.

Like my go-to answer is no.

It ends up turning around to be yes most of the time because that's kind of who I am.

But,

You know,

Yeah,

That's really self-sabotaging.

And to say no to everything,

You want to go to the movies?

No.

Want to go out to dinner?

No.

I mean,

Really?

What the heck,

You know?

So,

But I'm learning.

I'm learning to not answer is what I'm doing,

But I'll get to that in a minute how I deal with this,

Right?

Okay,

So the next way to kind of deal with this and move forward is to create and find your own personal positive tools.

The tools that you use to combat that self-sabotaging stuff,

Right?

What are your tools that you can use to get yourself out of a funk,

Right?

I use a lot of mirror work.

I use a lot of mirror work.

Yeah,

I use a lot of mirror work.

I say to myself,

I can do this,

That sort of thing.

So,

Yeah,

So that's kind of how that works.

The other thing,

The other thing is that,

And this is kind of a weird thing,

My,

I list my accomplishments to myself,

Right?

I can do this because I list my accomplishments.

Like,

I'll say,

Okay,

Well,

I did this,

I can do this because I did this.

I can do that because I did this.

I can do this because I did that,

And that sort of thing.

Very interesting,

Right?

The next thing is allowing love in.

I think sometimes we,

Sometimes we get stuck in that self-destructive,

Self-sabotaging behavior because we aren't allowing the love in,

You know?

Like,

Do you want to go to dinner?

My answer is,

My instinct is always no.

Why would,

But then my head goes on,

And I'm like,

Why would somebody want to go to dinner with me?

Why,

Why would you want to go,

Why do you want to go to the movies with me?

You know what I mean?

Like,

Like that's,

That's self-sabotaging behavior,

Obviously,

Right?

But if you allow the love in,

If you like,

Oh my gosh,

Somebody wants to hang out with me,

You have to rephrase it in your head.

That's how you do it.

You rephrase it in your mind,

In your head.

So,

And then the last thing that I do is,

Is that I have an accountability partner,

Right?

I have this one friend where I,

You know,

Like this thing that I was just talking about that I let go the other day,

I have a chance to like,

Redo it,

Like,

You know,

To actually do the thing,

Right?

And so because I told somebody,

You know,

It makes it more real when you tell somebody,

You know?

So because I told her,

It's kind of like,

It creates this,

This thing of like,

Okay,

Well,

Now that I told her,

I really do need to do it.

Do you know what I'm saying?

So now that I told my friend that I'm going to do this,

I kind of have to do it.

And she and I have this agreement with ourselves.

So,

You know,

Each other so that,

You know,

She,

I am her accountability person,

And she's mine.

So it's really cool.

And so anyway,

So those are the ways that,

That we can get past this destructive behavior to our,

Towards ourselves.

Self-sabotaging is a real thing.

It really is.

It really is.

So today,

That's what we are going to meditate on,

Right?

Because you know what?

It all starts within,

In here,

In our hearts.

It all starts with,

With loving and appreciating and understanding ourselves.

So let's get ourselves comfortable,

Of course,

Because we're going to meditate.

So let's get ourselves comfortable.

And when you're ready,

You can close your eyes.

Let's take a nice long,

Long,

Deep,

Really deep breath in.

Going really slow.

Blowing all the beautiful oxygen in your air,

In your lungs,

All through your body.

And release.

Awesome.

It helps us to relax,

Doesn't it?

Let's do that again.

Take a nice,

Slow,

Deep breath in.

And release.

Right there is enough to allow us to sink into our hearts.

Sink into your heart chakra.

And be with yourself.

This is your time.

Your time to be with yourself.

Just know where to be.

Just allowing ourselves to sit in the stillness.

So what are you grateful for today?

What is it in your life that is so great?

What are you grateful for?

Is it that the weather's cooling off?

Is it that work is going really well?

Or your family seems to be getting along extra well lately?

Or your health seems to be getting better?

What are you grateful for?

Our mantra today is Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

And that means I am bliss.

I am bliss.

Ananda Hum.

I will keep the time.

If you lose the mantra or you start thinking about other things,

Just gently push the thoughts aside.

Get yourself back to your breath and the mantra.

Ananda Hum.

And let's begin.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

Ananda Hum.

I am bliss.

Start bringing our awareness back to our bodies and the chair we're sitting in.

Allow yourself to just be.

Let's take a nice deep breath in.

And release.

Whenever you feel comfortable,

You can open your eyes.

Perfect.

Very good.

I hope you enjoyed the meditation today.

And know that you are not alone if you are a self-sabotager.

So until next time,

Namaste everybody.

I love you all.

Have a beautiful day.

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