Spiritual Bypassing

This is a clip from the Look Again podcast. The topic of discussion is spiritual bypassing. As spiritual beings, we continue to develop. The group discusses what spiritual bypassing is, how it shows up in your life, how it slows your spiritual development, and avoidance.

Please note: This podcast contains explicit language.

Transcript

So we also said bypassing.

So we talked about spiritual materialism,

But what about spiritual bypassing?

It's a little different.

It's not.

.

.

It's the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to to step aside from like how you actually feel,

How you actually are moving through life in that moment.

So people who may be using these practices to not really get to the root of the problem,

But just like want to feel good.

Is it like numbing yourself to like certain situations that you're trying to avoid that's in your reality,

But instead of standing up to what the problem is,

You just retreat into.

.

.

Is it always contemplative practices or.

.

.

?

It can be anything.

Oh,

Okay.

But we're using it in the spiritual context.

So it's like an unwillingness to really look at the issues.

Okay.

So I'm a little.

.

.

I mean,

It seems weird to me.

Like,

You know,

Right?

So if I'm a meditate to feel better,

Right?

Of course.

Right?

So I'm meditating to feel better or meditating because I have some of these issues you're talking about,

Right?

Maybe I have some trauma I went through or some depression or what it is.

You would think,

Isn't the intention to cure the problem?

So I think spiritual bypassing is more using spiritual practices to avoid the inner pain and trauma that we experience in life,

Not to confront it and deal with it.

Because a part of the spiritual practice is seeing.

.

.

Those things present themselves,

They come up.

Right.

And you have to deal with them.

You have to deal with them.

You have to face them.

You can't just.

.

.

You're not going to buy enough crystals to put in your pocket to walk around and not deal with the childhood trauma that you've been through.

It's going to come up during the practice.

And instead of like,

Well,

I'm not going to deal with that.

I'm just going to buy more crystals.

You actually have to deal with it as a part of the spiritual process.

They don't have enough crystals for that.

Hell no,

Man.

No,

No,

No.

I don't know those Nika caves.

They're pretty big crystals.

Get yourself on the big ass ones.

I'm going to hold you down.

I mean,

Yeah.

Like Andy,

It seems like you're exploring this fine line between what is and what isn't.

Of course,

We want to do these practices to feel good and feel better within ourselves and understand ourselves.

But when we're not using it in a legit,

Honest format,

Then that's where the bypassing or the materialism comes in.

We're not willing to notice the issue that we're trying to fix.

So if you ain't trying to fix it,

Then you ain't doing it.

And it seems like spiritual bypassing could also kind of stifle your development as a spiritual being in this human experience.

You know what I mean?

Because there's certain things that you have to experience to develop as a soul,

All the ups and downs of the human experience.

That's how you're learning through your incarnations.

So it's like,

If you're blocking out all the pain and the suffering that's going on within you and it's been caused by you and you're just like,

No,

I'm just going to go meditate.

It'll all be fine.

No,

You have to deal with that shit and you're not going to develop,

At least in my opinion,

I don't think you can develop as a soul through this incarnation if you don't deal with all of it.

Or then you just get you get sent right back and you got to deal with that shit again in your next incarnation.

I think that's what we see with all those people where it's like their practice is kind of phony because then it's like,

I'm fucked up.

I'm depressed.

What's going on?

I just need to go meditate,

But I'm not focusing on how am I working on not being depressed or fucked up anymore.

Right?

Yeah.

You can't rub patchouli on that shit and make it better.

No,

Some Vicks.

I think this is kind of like what Mark Greenberg,

Our mentor and big bro was talking to us about where gentlemen wrote a book about mindfulness and saying that it makes people kind of docile as far as changing systems and stuff like that.

I think it's all in your teacher and your own personal practice,

Whether you are docile like that,

Or I think that through our practice,

We became activists and we saw some things wrong with the system and tried to address them.

And I think that's like living your practice.

Some people just practice like our teacher says,

They just do the practice when they roll out a mat for one hour a day and then they live the rest of their day like assholes.

It's 23 other hours.

No,

I think you were on it sometimes.

Even when he's talking about being your practice,

Making you an activist,

I think a part of the practice also is being an interactivist.

When you see something wrong,

You have to address it.

Because we saw things wrong on the outside and we addressed them.

But I know through my practice,

I saw things wrong on the inside that I need to address too.

So I think you got to be that outer activist,

But you also have to be an interactivist too.

Yeah.

I think what I'm saying is about the depth of your practice.

How deep is it really taking you?

If you're just going to be like,

Oh,

I just had to go hit,

Like you're saying,

It's essential.

It's part of my routine.

Today,

I got to go do some postures on the mat.

Where they're not even worried about the real meaning of yoga and the union and the oneness aspect where it's more,

I'm just trying to get a six pack.

I think that's what a lot of people are doing.

And there's more to it than that.

Like you said,

There's 23 hours left in the day where you can't just be a douche bag all day long.

That's just not how it works.

Yeah.

And plus if you're doing it that way,

You're getting a skewed view of what actually could be.

So you're not even touching the straight nectar,

The actual essence of what is able to be developed.

And you need to have a willingness to be honest with yourself.

And sometimes it's not what you want to hear or see,

But by doing that,

That's where the work is.

I mean,

How many times have you done your practice and you're like,

Man,

I'm a jerk.

You know,

Not you're not,

You're not a jerk,

David.

Of course you would say that.

So,

But like,

You know,

There's times where you're just like,

Wow,

I shouldn't have said that.

I shouldn't have done that.

You know,

If,

If you're not,

If you're not willing to reflect on some situations that you had,

You're like,

Man,

I was,

I was actually kind of a jerk in that situation.

And then you can like,

Go back to that person and go back to that situation and be like,

I'm really sorry.

That wasn't me.

And I apologize.

Like that's spirit,

That's spiritual.

Yeah.

I mean,

The willingness to say sorry.

I mean,

I feel like that's a part of the reason why people do practice spiritual bypassing is like,

It's hard to admit that you're an asshole.

You know what I mean?

Like it's easier to admit,

Like,

I can go do my mala and do some japa's and I can go to this yoga class and I can get these crystals.

I know this retreat and everything will be fine.

Whether or look at yourself and realize about these parts of me are a real asshole and I need to deal with these.

That's a lot harder to do.

Wise words of Justin Bieber.

Is it too late for me to say sorry?

I don't think he was using them in those terms.

It might never be too late to say sorry.

It's really interesting to think about because it does.

If the thing is the ego in which that is trying to conceptualize if this is bypassing or not,

It might be bypassing.

You know,

If it's your heart being like,

Wow,

I should really say sorry.

It's probably not bypassing.

So you have to see where it's coming from.

If it's,

If it's coming from like your ego is like,

Oh,

I need to do this to feel good.

But if your heart's like,

I need to do this to heal,

Then it might have like a notice where that comes from.

And I think we've talked about that.

Another podcast is notice what's talking to you.

Is it your heart?

Is it your ego?

Is it your mind?

Is it like outside sources?

Is it the counsel within your head?

You know,

Like what's going on there?

Yeah.

You're doing it to avoid or to heal.

I think this is basically what you're saying,

Right?

Yeah.

That's hard to identify though.

You know what I mean?

Like,

Yeah,

When you're in it,

Like sometimes it's really hard to do.

Like I know at times in meditation and difficult times in my life,

It was hard to tell what was going on.

You know what I mean?

Like,

Cause sometimes like life can be a shit storm and like your practice you're trying to use to keep you grounded.

But I know sometimes it's hard to tell exactly where or why certain things are happening or you,

I mean,

There's certain times where life does get rough and you might need or not might not need to,

But you might be doing spiritual bypassing.

You might not even know it.

You know what I mean?

You might be like,

I'm definitely,

I know I've done it before in my life,

Like throughout my practice where it's been like things could be really,

Really shitty.

And I might be,

I don't know,

It might,

It might be easier to avoid it at that time than it is to like just dive right through it and rumble with it at that point.

I mean,

It does come back up and it's always going to come back up,

But that shit is real.

That shit happens,

Man.

Yeah.

I think it relates to what that first definition you said where it was trying to make it spiritual materialism be synonymous to like drinking alcohol and stuff like that.

And I'm sure it's the same thing with some people.

Some people when they're drinking alcohol,

Maybe just go on this,

They think they're having a good time,

But they really are avoiding something that's bothering them.

Right.

And you just don't know,

You know,

Like you may not even know that that's going on.

So I can see how that same concept with meditation where you just don't know you,

You want,

You want to feel better.

Right.

So you're doing this,

But is it really to heal at times or sometimes are you just trying to not feel shitty?

I mean,

Who around this table hasn't had a shitty day and gone to get shit faced to feel better,

You know what I mean?

To like to have a good time,

You know what I mean?

Like can anybody around this table say that that hasn't happened to them?

I don't drink alcohol nor do I do drugs.

I do both.

You know what I mean?

Like,

Like I know I've had a bad day and just been like,

Man,

I'm going to get a drink and one drink leads to a few.

And you know what I mean?

No,

For sure.

All of us.

Everyone has.

Yeah.

That's for real.

Yeah.

Like you always like you get your six pack,

Man,

I'm not dealing with this shit today.

And you don't.

Exactly.

Yeah.

There you go.

Right.

Cause imagine how draining it would be if every single time it was to heal.

That's a lot of effort and work,

Isn't it?

That's a lot.

That's me.

I mean,

If we're being real and we're keeping it real,

Like that shit is a lot of work.

That's bad in itself is draining for it always to be on point.

So are we all spiritual materialist a little?

Reviews

Appreciate the easy to understand meaning & examples within our daily lives

I’ve done this for years. I thought I was doing good, but then I started doing the real inside work and realized what had been happening. We don’t know till we know! Thank you so much for this. So on point

Thank you so much!
It was in the right time for me!! About avoiding pain…and trying to hide it in spiritually sometime…Spiritually doesn’t mean to avoid the pain..but to be honest with myself in here and now..Let be and only then let go.

Good to see this topic of spiritual bypassing being addressed here, it is vital. And also touching on the path of spirituality to activism, inner and outer. Thank you.

Thanks for the discussion. It is always good to hear how others think/feel without needing to respond. Thanks.

LoVe your insights. Help make me feel slightly less of an anomaly. Dead right about the depression/trauma needing to be addressed. I am on that road and also in recovery.
Our world is broken,so many poor souls cast out and viewed as worthless beings. Listen to your take on helping other is spot on, previously I have been told to not focus on the bad stuff going on in the world around me, just focus on my own well being. How can I focus on my own well being whilst turning my back and not trying to give something to help heal our world. Thank you, you are a breath of fresh air.

Most refreshing podcast I've heard on insight timer, signing up to the involution group to hear more of that good stuff now. Thank you 💎🤘🌈

Very informative discussion. Loved the way the concepts were presented.

Wow, I really needed to hear this today! Thank you so much for this and I can’t wait to listen to more ❤️🙏

I enjoy and value your humaneness. I can relate

“You can’t just rub patchouli on it and make it go away” 😂 loving this pod with my pocket full of crystals lol

Great topic with real life insights. Thank you.

This was so refreshing! I really appreciate you being real-real…for real!

So much truth in here! I started meditating a few years ago, yet stopped bypassing maybe a couple years ago. - Thank you for sharing!

Thank you. I needed to hear that today.

Really good stuff. Thanks.

Thank you for bringing a human aspect to the idea of practice. I really appreciate the honest down to earth perspectives.

Wow- great talk!