Prescription For Healing: Let Go & Replenish

What can we do when we are exhausted? In this talk, I teach you the value of Letting Go. For the exhaustion, despair, and discouragement you feel are an important signal that there are psychological and energy blocks in your heart and mind. To help you clear them, I offer teachings based on Tibetan purification practices. I talk about how to Let Go and create more flow. Perhaps the key to being replenished comes from within. What happens if you just let go?

Transcript

For the sake of all beings,

May there be wisdom,

Compassion,

The washing away of all our illusory defilements,

So the radiant mind that is always present can shine,

Can shine,

Can shine.

So this evening I thought I would talk a little bit on the themes of letting go,

Of purifying,

And of replenishing.

Neil is kindly offering this talk to some of the students who couldn't be here,

So welcome to those of you watching live and or later on the recording.

We're in the first very rich day of a three-day meditation retreat here in Nanaimo,

British Columbia,

And these beautiful beings in the room,

Who you cannot see but trust me,

They're extra beautiful,

Have been settling in to some silence,

At least externally,

Some stillness at least externally,

And opening up to the possibility of a settling and a releasing.

And I introduced this afternoon the concept of this particular retreat being captured in the word replenish,

Replenish.

I don't have to explain to any of us that it's been an unusual 18,

19,

20 months on the planet and in our small piece of the planet here on Vancouver Island.

I don't need to explain to any of us it's been a year or two of more loss than usual,

Loss of our contact,

Our community,

Our freedoms in some ways that were healthy and wise for us to observe,

But even the freedom to drop by a friend's house or have family over for dinner wasn't wise,

And so we didn't do it out of compassion.

But a lot of restrictions,

A lot of pulling in,

But in a way that didn't feel voluntary.

That's important.

Here we are voluntarily on a weekend in December,

Ironically,

Choosing to remove ourselves from everybody,

Which feels welcome because we chose it.

It feels welcome because we have the freedom to either do it or not do it.

But a year ago,

If due to pandemic restrictions we were told,

You need to pull away this weekend from everybody,

It would have felt like suffering because it wouldn't have been our choice.

And there's a grain of something very,

Very important in there,

Which is one of the definitions of freedom,

Is wanting to be where you are.

Wanting to be where you are.

When we don't want to be where we are,

We're in prison.

We don't want to be where we are,

We're suffering.

When we don't want to be here,

This sucks.

When we're somewhere we don't really want to be,

In a general survey of people,

They would say,

That's not somewhere I'd like to be.

Apparently,

Due to this wind that was howling an hour ago,

A lot of ferries have been canceled this weekend.

We are only two weekends before the Christmas holiday,

Travel time,

Shopping time,

Families coming together time,

Apparently all sorts of sailings canceled already.

Would we want to be stuck at Departure Bay or Duke Point right now,

Unable to go where we wanted to go?

No,

We wouldn't want to be there.

And so we would suffer,

Hopefully only a little.

Hopefully only a little irritation or a harrump for disappointment that maybe we wouldn't be able to make a gathering on the other side of the pond that we were looking forward to.

But a few of us or a few of our friends or a few of our neighbors in the cars went over might suffer a lot at the frustration of I don't want to be here,

I want to be there.

I don't want to be here,

I want to be on that ferry going there.

Here sucks.

And that's where we suffer.

If we want to be anywhere else than where we are,

We suffer a tiny bit or a vast amount.

Do we want to be in this bed suffering with cancer?

No.

But if we can accept and be present with being in this bed suffering with cancer in this moment,

The mind can be free and joyful even in a situation which all of us would say is not desirable.

We would not freely choose to be suffering in a bed with cancer.

But if that is what is visited upon us now or in the future,

It is up to how we approach the circumstance with our mind,

Be it the inconvenience of a canceled ferry or the vast inconvenience of an illness,

A death,

A loss,

A breakup,

A family dissolving.

If we are in the mind state of not wanting to be here,

May this not be so,

Could this please be different?

We're in trouble.

We're in suffering.

We're in Dukkha.

We're in the unsatisfactoriness of wanting something other than this.

So here we are volitionally choosing to be in prison this weekend,

To be in a circumscribed place where we're asked not to talk.

That's pretty weird.

Where we're told when we will eat and when we won't.

When we're asked to do things that our body and mind may rebel against and say,

I don't want to be here,

My neck hurts,

My back hurts,

My mind's on fire,

Waiting,

Waiting,

Waiting.

When will she ring the darn bell?

This hurts.

And yet we choose.

So we're actually free,

Even if we're in the middle of a sit thinking,

Why did I choose this?

I could be baking shortbreads with my grandkids right now.

There's a part of us that is choosing because there's a faith or a hope or a glimmer or an intuition that in the training of the mind and heart there is freedom.

Whether you use those words or not doesn't matter.

Maybe your words are,

I'd like to feel a bit calmer.

That's some freedom.

Maybe your words are,

I'd like to manage the anxiety better.

There's some freedom.

Maybe your words are,

I'd like to understand more about the mind.

Well,

There's freedom in that question.

Maybe you're here to replenish,

Even though you didn't know that was the theme.

And you don't really know what that looks or feels like,

But you graciously attended the sits,

You graciously attended the yoga,

And hopefully you're getting some replenishing already.

By the way,

A lot of you will start to feel worse before you feel better.

You've taken your foot off the gas.

And when we take our foot off the gas,

Often it's only then we start to experience how weary we are.

How distressed the mind has been.

Even if your life's going pretty well.

Just the regular work-a-day life of this and that and the things and the things.

And when we come here,

We go,

Okay,

For now the phone's off,

The family,

The circumstances,

The work is managed,

The assistant's sending all the emails,

They're all pre-programmed.

And then sometimes the assistant says,

Are you sure we're done?

Yeah,

We're done.

You're sure our foot's off the gas?

Yeah,

Yeah.

Okay,

I'm going to smack you upside the head now.

And the fatigue can come,

The sadness may arise.

Joy can also arise as well.

Bubbling,

Bubbling.

But I'm mentioning that to just normalize pretty much anything that's happening is okay.

Just observe it,

Allow it to rise and pass away.

Rise and pass away.

When we choose to be where we are,

We are free.

When we choose to accept the circumstances we're in,

Even when they're unpleasant,

Oh,

The ferry's canceled.

We're free.

Free from annoyance,

Free from distress,

Free from anger,

Free from clinging to what we wanted,

Which was to be on the other side.

Oh,

Okay,

So we're not going to be on the other side.

For those of you not from Vancouver Island,

I mean on the other side,

Vancouver,

The mainland from our island.

Now you're up to speed.

Everybody else is on the island,

Which is what I'm talking about.

If I want to be on the other side but I'm here,

I have ultimately two choices,

Providing you can't really get there.

Is to accept that I'm here and be happy or accept that I'm here and be miserable.

Now none of you are dumb,

So we all know we'd rather be happy than miserable.

Not that easy,

Is it?

Have you ever had the experience of working with your mind in this way?

Okay,

Ferry's canceled,

Darn it.

I don't control mother nature.

I didn't control the wind.

Let it go,

Cheryl.

Let it go.

It's not what I desire,

But it's all right.

Just let it go.

The body's like,

No.

No one relates to that at all,

Clearly.

The body's like,

No,

We're distressed now.

Well,

That's tricky because you've got cortisol,

You've got adrenaline,

You've got a body-mind reacting,

But what you can do is say,

There,

There,

Little body,

It's okay.

Don't build a story.

Don't build a big story about how it was going to be so great over there and my grandmother's going to be so disappointed.

This is so rotten.

When we feed it,

It gets worse.

Instead,

Try to bring your head and your heart into,

Okay,

This happened.

It's a change.

It's not the change I wished for.

I choose to be here now,

Trying to extricate myself from a ferry lineup and make a new plan,

Which wasn't what I was going to talk about,

But it's what I talked about,

So there you go.

What I was going to talk about is a story that will be familiar to many of you,

Whether you're studying Buddhism or not.

It's a familiar sort of story,

A familiar sort of adage,

But it's a story of two monks and two monks are walking along,

Rambling along,

Going from A to B and hopefully very content right where they are and not suffering.

It's a very rainy day,

Good story for today,

And there's puddles and the rivers bulging and there's a lot of water and they come to a place where there's a stream,

Yea big,

But it's a fairly big stream and it's roaring along.

There's a noble woman dressed in beautiful silks and she's in a paliquin or one of those carried,

You've got two people carrying the front and two carrying the back and she's in there and she's covered and she stops and her helpers are laid down with packages and things and so they're not able to help her across the stream.

She's disgruntled.

Someone canceled her ferry.

She's disgruntled and she's dressed in beautiful silks and if she's to wade through here it might not be safe and at the very least her silks would be destroyed and that's an unpleasant thing.

The two monks come up,

The elder monk and the younger monk and she says,

Please good sirs could you help me across the stream?

And the young monk says we are not able to do that.

We are not allowed to touch women,

Which is one of the precepts in some of the Theravadan traditions.

The old monk shrugs and picks the woman up on his back and piggybacks her across the street.

Quite a scandalous behavior for a monk and he puts her down and he says thank you good sir and she says thank you madam,

Enjoy your day and he walks on and the young monk's like what the heck just happened?

I'm sure that's exactly how it went by the way.

What the heck just happened?

And they walk along and the elder monk is walking along being where he is free and the younger monk is walking along stewing and concerned and distressed like elder monk just broke the rules.

Do I have to think on him?

Is he going to be kicked out of buddha school?

What's going to happen?

It's exactly how it went I'm sure and the young monk is consternated and he's thinking say well it's not to me to question,

It's not to me to speak,

I'll hold my counsel,

But he's distressed,

He's worried,

He's annoyed,

He's judgmental,

His mind's going you know cuckoo,

A lot of distress,

A lot of suffering,

Not free,

Not free,

Not free.

Finally after an hour he almost says something,

It's not my place,

Not my place,

I know my place in the pecking order,

My place is to say yes and do what I'm told and another hour of walking goes on and he's distressed and he's thinking and he's worried and finally it just bubbles up and he can't help it anymore and he says sir why did you pick up that woman?

You carried her across the stream,

You touched her,

You put her on your back,

This is a violation of the precepts,

This is a violation of the way we're supposed to be and the old monk looks at the young monk and he says I put that woman down three hours ago,

Why are you still carrying her?

And it's a really important teaching of hanging on to the past versus letting go,

Clinging to what was,

Three hours of consternation,

Three hours of storytelling,

Distress,

Judgment,

Three hours lost,

Not noticing the beauty of the wild strawberries,

Not noticing the interest of the breaks in the clouds and when the rain stopped and the different pitter patter of the rain,

Not noticing the luminous mind,

Not noticing the happy heart,

Distress,

Two,

Three hours carrying something that had nothing to do with you even when it has something to do with you.

So it's a little story about the power of letting go,

Of being in the moment,

Making compassionate choice,

Rules or not,

To assist someone across the stream and move on.

Being in the moment of,

Oh there's a need there,

Yes I can fulfill that need,

I fulfill that need,

Good day to you,

Move on.

Wouldn't it be incredible if we could all move through our days like that?

Doing what needed to be done,

Making a wise,

Compassionate decision and moving on.

How many of us,

I certainly do,

Sometimes hang on to the thing we should have put down three hours ago?

We hang on to the thing that we maybe could have put down three years ago.

We hang on to the past which no longer exists.

The woman being ferried across in a piggyback by the monk no longer exists.

That moment is lost to time.

It's not real anymore.

So the first little story I wanted to share tonight and I'll talk a bit more about letting go and the difficulties many of us have with that.

The second little story I wanted to tell,

Again it will sound familiar to many people in some variation or not.

These fables kind of waft and wane and get changed a little bit,

But the teaching principle is there.

So this is a story of a person like us who went to see a great,

Great teacher,

Great teacher.

And the great teacher is in her cave and she's a great meditator and she's a great awake being in the tradition of Buddha Dharma.

And we go and she invites us in for a cup of tea and we start to ask questions.

We've read lots of books on Buddhism and we've done lots of therapy and I'm not mocking any of us.

I do all these things and we've done lots of personal growth and we're excited and we're curious and we're asking questions and we're just alive and we're so pleased to be there.

We want to learn,

We want to get it,

We want to practice it,

We want to be free.

The kettle boils,

She brews the tea,

She brings it to our cup and she pours into our cup and we're,

This is going to be some pretty yummy tea.

And she pours and pours and she keeps pouring and the cups getting full and we're getting a little worried and she keeps pouring and she keeps pouring and it overflows and it overflows and we think maybe she's a little bit,

I don't know what up there.

She's pouring all this tea and like,

Excuse me,

It's overflowing.

And she says,

Yes.

And she stops pouring and she says,

Your mind is like this cup.

It is so full there's no room for the teachings.

It is so full there's no room for the teachings.

It's not said critically,

It's said with great love.

We can be so full of our ideas about what should be and our ideas of how we want to feel and our ideas of what freedom might be like and our ideas of what the teacher should and shouldn't do and our ideas of what we need to be happy,

To be well,

To heal our past that sometimes we can't just simply drink a cup of tea.

So what would we do if we're too full?

Well,

Here's an idea.

Maybe we need to let go of some stuff,

Make room,

Let go,

Make room.

So what are the sorts of things we might want to think of letting go of?

Well,

Because we're not foolish or masochists,

We'd like to let go of things that hurt or things that are unpleasant or things that are distressing or things that get in the way of our lives.

Or things that are distressing or things that get in the way of us feeling more confident,

Free,

Loving,

Clear,

Flexible.

So I'm going to put forward some ideas I'd like you to contemplate of things you might want to practice letting go of this weekend.

And that doesn't mean each of us will let go of that trauma from when we were 16 and it will never arise again.

That may happen.

It likely won't happen.

Who knows?

We might not know.

But it means we can practice letting go.

We can be putting into the mind and into the heart,

I am practicing letting this go.

I am practicing letting this go.

Here's a few things you might want to practice letting go.

How about an event or words that were said that hurt your feelings?

Someone did or said something that led to pain,

That led to pain.

Is it possible to practice letting that go?

There's a teacher some of you I know enjoy that I mentioned now and then called Ajahn Brahm.

He's a British fellow who was a monk in Thailand for many years and then wound up,

I don't know how,

I haven't heard that story,

In Australia.

And he's the abbot for Centre in Australia.

And he's a wonderful teacher,

Very funny teacher,

Very relatable teacher.

He's got some good talks online.

I'm going to borrow some of what I'm teaching tonight from one of his talks.

I'm also borrowing some of it from Philip Moffat and some talks he's given on this theory.

I'm borrowing some of it from the Buddha and the Dhar Tsuta and I'm borrowing some of it from the dark recesses of Cheryl's mind.

So good luck with all that.

So Ajahn Brahm as a way of talking about,

And this is drawn from some of the traditional sutas as well of the Buddha's teachings,

About letting go of hurt feelings and he says,

I may not have the quote quite right,

But Ajahn Brahm says,

Give up on revenge.

Karma's going to get the bastard anyway.

Very good quote that one.

You see why I like him maybe.

And when we're hanging on to revenge,

Whether it's vicious revenge or that hurt sense of self-righteousness that I want her to feel what it's like when a friend betrays her.

And what we're doing there,

And I'm going to mix some of the many stories,

But one of those stories that's so relatable,

It's so easy for us to relate to is the idea of when we pick up a hot coal.

What happens if we were to go,

When I was a kid,

You didn't have propane barbecues,

You had briquettes.

Anybody else remember briquettes?

Took like two hours till your dad can cook your food and you were freaking starving.

Yeah,

Took a long time for those suckers to get barbecue ready.

But imagine picking up a charcoal briquette in your hand.

Holy,

You'd have first,

Second,

Third degree burns in an awful quick hurry.

And then what would be the sensible thing to do?

We all know the sensible thing to do would be to let go.

When something's hurting us,

It's not sensible to hold it tighter.

We know that.

We know that.

In fact,

I burned this hand very badly on retreat a year ago in a very foolish moment of lack of mindfulness.

I picked up a kettle that someone else had put,

Someone else,

Wasn't me.

Someone else had let a kettle boil dry at the llama's house and I picked it up to pour him some water.

It was empty.

So I,

Even though I have a science degree,

Poured water into a boiling kettle that had boiled dry.

Guess what happens?

People steam to the hand that's holding the kettle.

So I burnt myself rather badly.

It's all healed and fine now.

But it's cause and effect.

But I immediately dropped the kettle.

In fact,

I dropped the kettle with a bloody great racket onto the floor because it was an immediate dropping.

Because when you're getting scalded to a second degree burn on your hand,

You drop it real quick,

Right quick.

It's a sensible thing to do.

But what do we do with emotional hurts?

What do we do if that person said or did something that has led to pain?

So often,

We don't want to hold onto it.

Please let me make that clear.

You're not being self-pitying or foolish or desperate.

You're being human.

It's a lot easier to let go of a burning hot kettle than it is a wound of the heart,

A wound of the spirit,

A betrayal,

A lie,

Harsh words,

Being left,

Being told we're not loved anymore,

Being told we're stupid,

Pitiful,

Worthless,

Being stabbed in the back.

These are very difficult for most of us to let go of.

But I encourage each of us to work with the idea of letting go.

And as Ajahn Brahm says,

Let go of revenge.

Humans are going to get their karma anyway.

It's not a very good monk thing to say.

He says it with such a tongue in cheek that I think we can get away with it.

Don't hold onto the hot cool.

Or perhaps a more realistic bit of advice is when you find yourself holding onto the hot cool,

Bring awareness to that.

Bring awareness to that there's the original hurt and then there's the hurt we're piling on by hanging on because we can't quite let it go.

We're trying to let it go.

We can practice letting go.

And then our hand will grab that coal again.

I'm going to read to you.

I'm not checking my email.

It's on airplane mode.

But I've used this to copy and paste some of the things I wanted to read to you today and tomorrow.

And one of them I'll read an excerpt from a very commonly quoted sutta.

This is taken from the Buddha's verbal teachings 25,

2600 years ago.

And this is the salata sutta or the dart.

And here there's some language an untaught worldling would be someone who doesn't yet know how to work with their mind.

And what did you call it?

A taught worldling.

Anyway,

A synopsis.

A well-taught noble disciple that's the opposite of an untaught worldling.

And these aren't meant to be at all disparaging.

It means someone who has no idea of what we're talking about yet.

They haven't yet realized they have a say in their mind.

They can work with their mind.

They can choose to try to let go of the hot coal.

That's an untaught worldling.

Just a regular one of us who hasn't yet been exposed to this idea or figured it out on our own versus a well-taught noble disciple.

That's all of you and hopefully me where we're attempting to learn.

How can we relate to our mind in ways that are more skillful?

An untaught worldling,

Oh monks,

Experiences pleasant feelings.

He or she experiences painful feelings and he or she experiences neutral feelings.

A well-taught noble disciple likewise experiences pleasant,

Unpleasant and neutral feelings.

Now what is the distinction between the two?

Well when an untaught worldling is touched by a painful bodily feeling,

He or she worries and grieves,

Laments,

Beats their breast,

Weeps and is distraught.

They thus experience two kinds of feelings,

A bodily and a mental feeling.

It's as if a man were pierced by a dart and following the first piercing,

He is hit by a second dart.

So that person will be experiencing the feelings associated with two darts.

It's similar when an untaught worldling when touched by a painful bodily feeling,

He worries and grieves and it's repeated.

It's the way these teachings are repeated because they weren't oral teaching to be memorized.

And I'm going to scroll down and down and down and we'll contrast it to someone who has learned at least the idea that if I get a hot coal in my hand,

It's wise not to hang on to it.

It's wise not to tell a story.

It's wise not to make it worse.

In the case of a well-taught noble disciple,

That's all of us,

When he or she is touched by a painful feeling,

They will not worry or grieve and lament.

They will not beat their breast and weep nor will they be distraught.

It is one kind of feeling you experience,

A bodily one but not a mental feeling.

It's as if a man were pierced by a dart but was not hit by a second dart following the first one.

So this person experiences the feelings caused by a single dart only.

Take that literally for a moment.

I don't have a little dart blow gun but if I did,

With your permission,

I would pew pew pew and you don't get hit by a dart and it would hurt like a pin going into your skin.

Ow!

What's the wise thing to do?

Pull it out,

Drop it.

What's the unwise thing to do?

Cheryl hit me with a dart!

She hates me!

Why me?

She burst before she hit Kim!

She must hate me more than she hates Kim!

And and and.

We're just horror shock?

Ow!

This hurts.

What if I get an infection?

What if whatever?

You know,

I've got a skin issue.

It could,

You know,

And the things,

The things.

And some of them aren't stupid.

Some of those stories are reasonable but do they help?

No,

They're more darts.

And let's all face it,

Probably none of you wise beings but I'll use myself as a sacrificial lamb here.

Sometimes we get hit by a dart and we go,

Just give me all the darts,

You know,

And then there's this and they hate me too and it'll never and no one will ever love me and I shouldn't even try and it's all a complete disaster.

I'm mocking but I'm not mocking,

Right?

When we are in a cascade of painful negativity it feels like all the darts in the world are coming.

It's incredibly painful.

I don't want to make light of it.

And this is our human existence so much of the time.

Something happens.

This is the nature of impermanence.

Everything's going to change and go up and down.

It'll be rainy.

It'll be sunny.

It'll be calm.

It'll be turbulent.

The fairies will work.

The fairies will be canceled.

The fairies won't be canceled but they'll have a mechanical issue.

Things change.

This is the first noble truth of existence and sometimes they change in ways we like.

Sometimes they change in ways we dislike and sometimes the change doesn't really affect us either way.

Darts will come and we want to develop the ability to recognize the dart for what it is.

A painful feeling.

To recognize the dart for simply what it is.

A painful feeling and do our best to drop it.

Water and kettle,

Instant steam burn,

Drop it.

Then you can do the tending to the hurt which may really hurt.

The dropping doesn't eradicate the hurt entirely.

Sometimes it will and this is a great thing to practice with small hurts.

Little disappointments,

Little ouches.

Someone's in a bit of a crabby mood and they say something unskillful to you.

It stings a tiny bit but you know it's not really personal.

You know they're super stressed and you know they didn't ultimately mean it.

That can be a small sting,

A small dart.

They're like,

Oh,

Okay,

That landed but I can let that go and we can actually almost immediately dissolve the hurt.

Practice with those little ones.

Practice with inconveniences.

Tomorrow let's say you go for breakfast and I don't know what they serve for breakfast here.

I can't remember.

I think it might be oatmeal and sometimes hard-boiled eggs or this or that.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Now I created big stories in your head.

Sorry about that.

I don't know.

Let's find out when we get there.

But you get to breakfast and all of the foods are your least favorite.

Oatmeal,

Yogurt.

That's a little tiny bit unpleasant,

Right?

It's not what you'd like.

For some of us,

Sometimes in our life that would be like a major disaster and I'm again not being facetious where we'll be struggling in the retreat.

It's hard work.

We're looking forward to the meal.

It's a chance to nurture ourselves.

It's a chance to kind of rest.

It's a chance to be nurtured and fed which is our primordial need to be fed by the great mother and we get there and it's foods we don't like.

Maybe even worse,

We're allergic to them.

Maybe even worse,

We're allergic to them and we carefully made sure that the retreat coordinator knew that.

But somehow it got lost in the shuffle and we can't eat any of the foods.

Question number one,

Are you going to starve between then and lunch?

Are you going to die?

My point is made.

Secondly,

Is that inconvenient?

Yes.

Is it a kind of unpleasant and disappointing?

Certainly can be or it can just be a simple dart that you pull out and say,

Cool,

I hear they fast on meditation retreats.

I'm going to fast till,

Till lunchtime.

Or you could write a little note or gently whisper near gee,

Would you happen to have any toast?

Yeah,

We can get you some toast.

But there are times in each of our lives,

Maybe yesterday,

Maybe today,

I hope not tomorrow,

Where that would really just hit us because we were already depleted.

We already felt like things just weren't going our way.

Things are so challenging.

Things are so difficult.

We're not having the foods you can eat at breakfast would really destabilize us.

So life is like that.

We're not always going to get everything we want.

What did this Rolling Stone say?

You can't always get what you want,

But if you try sometimes,

You just might find you get what you need.

Interesting that.

Interesting that.

Dharma from Nick Jagger comes in all sorts of stealthy forms.

The first story,

The monk who sees a need,

Fills a need,

Lets it go and moves on without any suffering.

We want to be that guy.

We don't want to be,

And all too often I am,

And I suspect you are the other one who's,

This is upsetting and I don't know what to do and I'm going to build stories for two or three hours and then spill it out and realize I had the choice to also let it go,

Whether I understood it or not.

It could be,

Well,

I guess he's got a good reason.

The second story,

Our cup,

When it's so full with ideas,

With concepts,

With words,

Sometimes we can't receive the replenishment we need.

There's another story of,

Gosh,

I'd forgotten which teacher it was,

But a teacher from maybe a hundred,

Two hundred years ago,

I think in the Zen tradition,

I'm not entirely sure.

This is a story of a teacher,

An actual more recent teacher.

Anyway,

He had a rule that after dinner he would go for a silent walk out to kind of look at the land and each evening apparently he would invite one of the monks to come with him.

There was a single rule.

You were not allowed to say a word,

Not allowed to say a word.

That was the rule.

So he goes for a walk.

One of the junior monks is invited to walk with him and it's a particularly glorious evening,

Particularly beautiful sky.

Beautiful sunset,

Just radiant,

Like God himself painted the sky.

And the young monk forgets himself for a minute and he says,

It's so beautiful.

And the teacher turns and walks straight back to the monastery and says,

You can never come on a walk with me again.

So the young monk's pretty devastated that he made a mistake and a little bit puzzled as to why.

And so a medium monk goes to speak to the head,

The head fellow and says,

You know,

Billy,

Clearly the monk's name was Billy,

Is very upset and he didn't mean to cause any offense.

He was so transported in wonder of the beauty of the sunset,

That's why he commented on it.

Would you give him another chance?

And the teacher says,

You can't see the sunset through the words.

You can't see the sunset through the words.

What he's pointing to there is when we're caught in our idea about something,

A reflection on something,

A once removed from the direct experience,

We're no longer in the direct experience.

And for all sorts of reasons,

That's important.

So that's partly why we practice silence on this retreat.

And as I said earlier,

And as you've no doubt,

I suspect anyway,

Experience this afternoon,

Just because we're practicing verbal silence with our mouth,

With making sounds outside of ourselves does not mean it's silent in here.

So one of the things I'll refer to with various languages at various times,

But often with the phrase,

What's the direct experience right now?

What is the experience of sunset without commenting on sunset?

What is the experience of sunset without taking a selfie?

So you can show all your friends how great the sunset is.

What is the direct experience of being in flow with sunset?

In your meditation,

What's the direct experience of this breath?

And the mind will no doubt be telling stories some of the time,

Having thoughts some of the times,

Running vast narratives while you're attempting to meditate.

You're still meditating.

You're just meditating in a noisy environment.

That's okay.

You're failing.

But the direct experience right now,

Close your eyes for a sec.

What's the direct experience in your left elbow right now?

Now the way I happen to be sitting when I asked you that,

My left elbow is pressed with a bit of pressure into the arm of the chair.

So when I stopped and went to the direct experience of left elbow,

I could feel the pressure where the side of the elbow was pressed on the chair and then a different amount of pressure where part of the next centimeter of the elbow wasn't pressed as much or making as much direct contact.

Direct experience of elbow.

When I just told you the story about what I experienced,

I'm once removed from the direct experience.

So just observe that this weekend,

How much the mind is what I like to call a story making machine.

Now that's all sorts of reasons for that,

Many of them incredibly helpful.

It's how we navigate life and our jobs and our parenting and our understanding of the world and our self in it.

It doesn't mean never make up stories,

Never interpret data.

It doesn't mean that at all.

But it means strengthen the ability to just be in the direct experience.

If there's a dart and we're simply in the direct experience of the dart being uncomfortable,

We can directly know to change it without getting into a song and dance of interpretation and more darts.

So I haven't even got there yet.

What are some of the things you can let go of?

One,

It might be hurt feelings,

Stories from the past that were painful or worse.

Many of us have had traumas in our past.

Many of us are having traumas in our lives now.

Loss of loved ones,

Loss of a child,

Loss of a marriage,

Diagnoses of frightening body things,

Frightening medical things.

Loss of a lot of our lifestyle isn't quite the right phrase,

But meaning that the conditions and the restrictions that we needed to do for safety in the age of the COVID virus has really changed a lot of things.

And a lot of those are really tough on us all.

Can we let go of one thing that we're carrying that's not helpful?

Can we put it down at the other side of the stream and walk on?

And those of you in retreat,

Those of you watching not in retreat,

Please do this as well in your own backyard.

But we're on this lovely property,

There's a bit of forest,

There's some sticks on the ground,

There's a lake right there.

I invite you and I'll remind you of this tomorrow in one of your break periods or the meal periods.

Take this and make it tangible.

Find a stick or a rock or several sticks or several rocks and if you can,

I don't know how well it would work,

Write on it or scratch on it or simply think putting that memory on that stone or on that stick.

The thing that you'd like to let go of,

I'd like to let go of how annoyed I feel with my sister because of XYZ.

I'd like to let go of my shame and my embarrassment that I was fired from my job.

I'd like to let go of my belief that I'm not very smart.

What do we want to let go of the past?

Do we want to let go of certain hurts we're carrying?

Do we want to let go of certain beliefs we have?

Do we want to let go of worrying about the future all the time?

Good luck with that.

It's not going to make one quick difference if you worry about it.

The future is uncertain.

How much time do each of us spend worrying about what might happen?

I'm not talking about checking your brain at the door and being a dope.

Thinking things through in a wise manner,

Anticipating outcomes and choosing a wiser one,

That's intelligent,

That's discriminating wisdom.

Don't check your brain at the door.

I'm talking about the kind of pointless worry and catastrophizing that the mind so often does that doesn't get us anywhere except rung out with cortisol and adrenaline and less equipped to handle the challenges that are going to come in the uncertain future.

This weekend,

Once a dozen times,

Take a stone,

Take a stick,

Write on it,

Scratch on it or think or symbolically put in it something you want to let go of and then throw the stone in the lake or throw the stick in the forest.

Let's imagine that there's a big.

.

.

Those cement blocks that they build stuff on,

Foundation blocks or something,

Whatever they're called,

They're heavy.

I don't know how heavy they are,

50 pounds or something.

Imagine there's literally one sitting here right now.

I'm a little stronger than I look,

So I'm able to pick it up and it's hard.

It's hard.

It's hard,

Right?

You guys say,

�Gel,

That looks really heavy.

� I go,

�It's not now.

� That's a really important gesture because we're all carrying things that are really heavy,

Really heavy.

It can be as simple and as profound and as aching as the loneliness of the last two years,

The losses of the last two years,

The small losses.

Even those of us in the room that are lucky enough not to have major losses,

Which so many of you have had.

It is heavy in them,

Even in our lives where we're lucky,

Where we've got homes,

We've got family,

Friends,

Community of some variation.

We live in a beautiful part of the world with a lot of political and life freedoms.

Our children right here don't generally die when they drink the water coming out of the cup.

We're so lucky.

Yet,

Sometimes we look at a friend,

A neighbor,

A loved one,

An enemy,

And we think,

�Boy,

They're carrying a lot.

� That looks so heavy,

Cheryl.

Not now.

Practice it.

Practice it.

Get this in your body.

Make it visceral.

Throw some sticks.

Pick up a big stick and write,

�My worry is about not being good enough,

� or mentally write it on there and throw it.

Be careful.

Don't chuck it at people.

I'll get Buddha fired again.

Just behave yourselves.

But stones.

Stones are satisfying because you can hurl them into the lake and they splash and they sink.

Lovely symbolism.

Throw it.

Let it sink.

Does that mean you'll never ever worry about that thing again?

Probably not.

Some of them,

It may actually dissolve it.

It may actually flush it through the pipes.

It may actually put it to rest.

But it's the process of training the body and mind.

Letting go.

Letting go.

Letting go.

This too shall pass.

This will not be here in a hundred years because we won't be either.

At least metaphorically we're training the mind.

Symbolically we're training the mind that it doesn't need to hang on to the litany of losses.

It doesn't need to hang on to all the hurts.

We don't need to be so stuck in the past and we don't need to spend so much of our time worrying about the future.

The more we can show up here and now it's where the only freedom is.

So practice that in this beautiful weather.

Throw some stones in the lake.

Find some sticks.

Hold them.

Get a good heavy one and then drop it.

Walk the labyrinth.

Walk the labyrinth.

Probably three or four of you could be walking at a time if you're six,

Ten feet apart.

I suggest a slow walking.

And you can either just be in a mindful walking practice,

In direct experience of your feet on the mushy ground.

And or you could be doing a contemplation while you walk the labyrinth of even just repeating mentally,

Letting go,

Letting go,

Letting go.

Or even doing a bit more complex of a contemplation.

I give you permission to make up stories about what are some things I'd like to let go of from 2021.

That I was isolated more than I'd like to be.

That my friend was really sick and haven't fully recovered.

That my cat passed away.

That my marriage changed.

That my health changed.

And they can be little things too.

Little things can hurt a lot.

And then when you get to the center of the labyrinth,

The ending that is a beginning,

You can symbolically imagine leaving those things in the labyrinth.

Mother Chara will hold them in her heart and dissolve them into the ground to be food for beings.

You're not leaving anything toxic there.

Even if it's toxic to you,

It will be transformed into food for beings.

You can also do that with an object.

Pick up a stone.

You may have a precious object with you you'd like to leave.

I don't think there's shells around here,

But certainly stones,

Pebbles,

Twigs,

Things like that.

You can write a little note and leave it in the center of the labyrinth.

Let go.

Let go.

Let go.

This is the third noble truth.

First noble truth,

Everything changes and not all the changes will be in the direction we desire.

The second noble truth,

We will suffer when the changes are not what we desire.

And the cause of our suffering is we're clinging.

We're holding on to hot coals.

We're haven't put down the lady back at the river.

We're nursing the hurt of that betrayal.

We're adding darts to the first dart and the first dart hurt.

It was a bodily feeling of hurt,

But we're adding more darts.

The third noble truth is the cure for suffering.

Backing up there,

The second noble truth is the cause of suffering is hanging on.

So the third noble truth,

The cessation of suffering is letting go.

It sounds so easy.

We know it's not easy,

Unless it's a kettle,

It's easy to let go of.

Other things aren't.

That's okay.

You're not broken.

You're not self-indulgent.

You're not foolish.

You're not self-pitying.

You're human.

These things hurt.

We aren't trained to let go.

If anything,

We're trained to get a bunch of darts,

Put them all over us,

And then go on Facebook and talk about it.

Nobody's ever had as bad of a ferry trip as I just had.

Would you believe?

And then people can comment,

Oh,

You poor thing.

That's just awful.

Let me hurl a few more darts at you.

Bloody hell.

If I'm not your friend on Facebook,

There's a reason it's got nothing to do with you.

Facebook,

Not my jam.

Of course,

It can be utilized like any tool in a compassionate,

Lovely way.

A beautiful way to see pictures of your grandkids and celebrate the wonders of your friends.

Choose your friends carefully.

Defriend the ones who are frickin' throwing darts at themselves on Facebook.

But we are in a culture that maybe unintentionally has gradually moved to where public displays of the things we're distressed about are a little more commonplace,

And people could jump on the irritation bandwagon with us and all that.

Does it make you suffer less?

No.

No,

It just keeps the story going.

Drop the story.

Maybe it was a really,

Really terrible ferry trip,

And maybe you were really unfairly and rudely treated,

And maybe somebody in line lost their temper and nothing to do with you and screamed and yelled in your face.

Maybe it was awful.

I'm not denying that.

Could have been some real darts,

But what are you going to do with it?

How about let it go and have a cup of tea?

Maybe a piece of chocolate?

Because we have a choice.

It doesn't feel like we have a choice.

It feels like we're so trapped in the negative story,

So trapped in the pain,

So trapped in the truth of suffering,

Which is true.

We forget the third noble truth,

Which says there's a cure.

Let go.

If,

Like me,

You're a regular human who finds letting go harder than it sounds,

That's why we practice.

That's why we practice.

If you're in a sit and it feels interminable and your body and or your mind are in distress in that meditation,

You might have a really sore back or just a very anxious,

Upset mind,

And it's hard and it's grueling to stay with the practice and your body-mind is fighting the practice and it just wants to convince yourself that you have to pee badly enough that it's okay to quietly slip out of the room.

But you stay.

You're practicing letting go,

Believe it or not.

You're practicing letting go.

You're practicing tolerating the discomfort and knowing you don't have to always give into it and make it more of a story.

So some of the things that seem,

Perhaps to some of us some of the time,

Kind of odd or maybe we're not sure what the point is on a meditation retreat.

Like,

What's the point of that?

It's often about rehearsing letting go.

It's often about rehearsing the arising and the passing away.

It's about being able to watch the mind when it gets upset about something.

There have been times in my life,

Including on retreats in my life,

Where if I'd got to the breakfast table,

Let's say,

And I hadn't been able to eat any of the foods,

I would have been super distressed because of whatever vulnerability,

Whatever need to be nurtured,

Whatever anxiety about being on the treat and wanting to feel like it was well managed and people were paying attention and I'd filled out that form.

Now I'd be kind of like,

Okay,

I'll not eat or I'll eat something else.

Not every day.

Just ask my husband.

Goodness sakes,

I'm human.

But on retreat,

I'm often in a pretty good mental state.

I'm often fairly blissy when I'm on retreat now.

And so it's just like,

Oh,

Well that happened.

That's all right.

The same thing happened two days ago.

Multiple dart attack.

But when the mind is more happy,

Open and graceful,

Which sometimes it is in life and sometimes it isn't,

Sometimes it is on retreat and sometimes it isn't.

I've certainly had retreats where I white knuckled it the whole time in like anxiety and hatred.

You know,

It's just life.

It's stuff.

It's what happens.

But when we have those moments where we're able to let something go and it actually dissolves,

It's just a really little thing,

A small little tiny disappointment.

Oh,

I was hoping for a room on the corner of the building and I'm in the middle of the building.

Oh,

Well,

It's not so bad.

Just a tiny little disappointment.

We let it go.

That's freedom.

Okay.

I literally exhaled as I said it because when we let something go,

It's freedom.

We let a small thing go,

It doesn't hurt anymore.

When we let a big thing go,

We've still got to deal with the burn,

But we're not making it worse.

So letting go.

So teacher,

I think it was Ajahn Sumedho who talked about letting go in a way I wanted to quote you his words.

Yeah,

It was Ajahn Sumedho.

The practice of letting go is very effective for minds obsessed by compulsive thinking.

You don't have to raise your hands,

But I know who you are.

Pretty much all of you.

The practice of letting go is very effective for minds obsessed with compulsive thinking.

You simplify your meditation practice down to two words.

Let go.

Now he's not just saying that.

For two years,

Ajahn Sumedho's entire meditation practice morning to night for two full years every day was letting go.

That's what he worked with every day.

Let go,

Let go,

Let go.

Two years!

I want to go do that.

I'd be very interested to see where the mind would be after two consecutive years of practicing letting go.

Very noble being.

There's another.

Ah yes.

So I'd like each of us now to do a little thought experiment just where you are.

You don't have to do anything,

But recall,

Bring to mind something from today or yesterday or this week that you didn't like or was unpleasant,

Might be big,

Might be medium,

Might be small,

That you're still hanging on to.

Not necessarily on purpose and not necessarily because you want to.

Something that annoyed or upset you or maybe devastated you.

Something that you were frustrated by.

Bring something to mind.

You're not going to have to share it.

This is a private thought experiment.

And for a moment I want you to make it pretty vivid.

So bring that thing to mind and as best you can recall how you felt,

How it hurt you,

Annoyed you,

Maybe led to anxiety,

Anger,

Grief.

Bring it to mind as clearly as you can.

Your body may even start to feel some of the same discomforting emotions.

And I want you to ask yourself and I'd like you to take this contemplation out of this class tonight and work with it a little bit over this weekend.

Ask yourself,

What am I hanging on to?

So let's say what happened is your partner or your roommate or your friend or your family member broke a promise to you.

Maybe they promised to take you out to dinner.

You'd been working extra hard and doing nice things and being a rock star and they said,

You know,

I'm going to take you out to dinner on Thursday and you were looking forward to it and it was a nice gesture and you were happy about it.

And then they forgot.

Maybe it really disappointed you and if it was someone you're married to or in a deep relationship with,

Often it becomes a pretty big story.

Not only did you forget,

But you don't care enough about me.

I can't trust you to keep your promises.

You never follow through the stories.

Lots more darts can happen.

Were that the case?

Were that the example?

And I would just say,

What are you holding on to?

You would have some different answers,

But they might be along the line of,

Well,

I'm hanging on to wanting it to be different.

I'm hanging on to wanting my friend to have remembered their promise.

I'm hanging on to have wanted to go for dinner.

I'm hanging on to wanting to feel important enough because I interpret forgetting the dinner date as meaning I'm not important to you or whatever.

There's nuances there,

Right?

But try to dial down and think,

What am I,

Cheryl,

Hanging on to?

There may be more than one.

That's great.

No problem.

And then ask yourself,

What would it feel like if I let that go?

What would it feel like if I let that go?

So let's say it is your romantic partner.

They promised to take you for dinner.

You were excited and looking forward to it.

Then they forgot.

And it hurt a lot and it brought up some anger and irritation because maybe this is a repeating pattern.

Maybe there's history.

Maybe there's darts from the past that got reawakened.

That's pretty common in any of our important relationships,

Friends,

Family,

Et cetera.

And then you might say,

Okay,

The main thing I'm hanging on to is the idea that they don't care enough about me.

That's a pretty painful idea,

Isn't it?

Someone you deeply love and rely on is important to you,

Doesn't care enough about me?

Wow,

That's a big goal.

That's a big kettle of steam.

What would it be like if I let that go?

I'm hanging on to the story that they don't care enough about me.

That is hurting me.

That's the cause of suffering,

Hanging on to something.

What would happen if I let it go?

What would happen if I was able to just let go of the story that they didn't care about me?

Rest in the knowledge they do care about me.

Would I feel better?

The answer is yes.

I was actually able to let go of it and that story went boof and what was left was of course they care about me.

Everybody forgets some stuff sometimes.

I wouldn't suffer.

So there's a thought experiment.

You've got two homeworks now.

I'll endeavor to remind you about them in the morning as well.

One of them is throw rocks in the water with things you want to let go of.

The next one is do some thought experiments and you'll have probably opportunities,

Live time,

Real time.

Something will happen in the retreat or I'll say something or something that will happen that you won't like or you'll get indigestion from something in the food or it'll be cold or it'll be hot.

The things,

You know,

The impermanences.

And when you find yourself a little bit distressed or maybe a lot,

Ask yourself what am I hanging on to?

I'm hanging on to I want it to be a comfortable temperature for my body.

What would happen if I let go of that?

If I let go of wanting it to be a comfortable temperature?

Well I suppose I'd either take some layers off if I'm too warm or I'd add some layers on if I'm too cool but I wouldn't worry about it.

I wouldn't have any negative emotion wrapped up.

I would just adjust based on the impermanent circumstances.

There's so much freedom in letting go of needing things to be a certain way because they often won't.

You notice that.

You don't need the Buddha to point that one out.

You'll notice all by your little selves that things are often not the way we want them to be.

And we can dance in it.

We can be joyful in it.

Oh this is so not what I expected.

Oh well cool.

What am I going to learn?

Right?

I don't know.

You go to Africa for safari and what you didn't know is they lent all the animals to New Zealand for a month.

There's no animals there.

That's not what you expected.

Oh well.

Yes.

So look for other stuff.

The cultural artwork of Africa because I don't get to see giraffes and elephants after all.

I mean we laugh because that's a silly,

Fanciful example but it's such a good example.

What do we do when we have expectations?

Oh there's the expectation conversation.

I don't think we have time for that.

In brief,

Expectations will hurt you.

When you expect things it means you have an idea of how it's supposed to be or how you want it to be and sometimes it will and that will be nice and sometimes it won't and that won't be nice.

I actually released a podcast I think two weeks ago entitled If You Want to Ruin Your Relationship Have Expectations because so much of our suffering is when we expect things to happen.

I expected you to remember you said you were going to take me for dinner.

That's not a stupid expectation.

Maybe your friends should do a better job of programming in their calendar so they do a better job of remembering.

That would be skillful and compassionate of them but it's the expectation that ends up hurting us.

I know that gets a little tricky.

We get,

Yeah but hang on a minute.

These deadbeats shouldn't keep letting us down but they will so it's up to you to say what you're going to do with your mind around the changes.

You don't have any control on whether your friend becomes more or less forgetful.

You can make suggestions.

They'll ignore but you don't really have any control.

You have control over maybe saying,

Well Melissa said she's going to take me for dinner.

Based on previous data,

I will see what happens.

Melissa isn't going to show up at the appointed time or forget.

I hope nobody is named Melissa or anything because I'm picking on you.

Pretty sure there's no Melissa's in the room.

How does this relate to what we were doing today,

Cheryl?

I'm confused.

Well,

In the half hour before dinner,

I did a modified Vajrasattva practice.

Doesn't matter if you don't have a clue what that is.

It's a Tibetan practice of purification.

There's all sorts of secularized ideas that are similar but we practice with the idea of bringing in light or healing nectar through the top of our head and allowing it to flow through our body and do what?

Clear out obscurations.

Clear out things we're clinging to.

Clear out old hurts.

Clear out wounds from the past.

Clear out our darkest traumas.

Clear out the most ugly things we've ever done with body,

Speech or mind.

Clear out our worries and our insecurities.

Let go.

Let go.

Let go.

Let go.

Some of these practices might seem a little odd and you may not be quite sure how they relate.

I hope that helps link it.

It's a visceral way to practice letting go and clearing.

Letting go and clearing.

Letting the purity of the essential nature be uncovered.

Letting the purity of this moment,

This present moment,

Which is perfect,

Be seen.

Clearing out.

Letting go.

Letting go.

Because you can't receive anything in a full cup,

Remember?

And I suggested earlier this afternoon a theme for our somewhat or perhaps quite extensively weary bodies and mind in December 2021.

Our wearied spirits maybe.

Not everybody but probably the majority.

A weariness of the leageredness.

It's been a bit of a long haul.

Anybody notice?

And I want you to replenish once we clear.

Starting to see how this comes together.

We came in here maybe with our cup overflowing with ideas and also fatigue and worries about our kids and our health and all the realistic pieces of being alive.

The losses,

The griefs,

All the things.

So if we can work this weekend to let go or at least practice the idea of letting go.

That's where it's all about.

That's what you have control over.

You can practice letting go.

Some of the stuff is going to cling to you like crabs or something and it'll be really hard to purify but you're going to practice letting go.

Throw some rocks in the water,

Walk the labyrinth,

Leave some things in the middle.

Practice in some of the meditations this white light coming in,

Rinsing through,

Dissolving the dark clots and clumps.

They come out the bottom of your feet.

Practice emptying the cup of some of the garbage that we all accumulate through the pain of being human.

You're not going to be,

I don't think,

A completely purified being at the end of the weekend.

If so,

You'll be fully awake and that will be extraordinary.

But we can practice if we don't quite get there yet.

And then replenish.

You don't have to do it in that order.

We're going to do them together.

They're going to weave.

They're going to dance.

We're going to let go and replenish.

We're going to replenish and let go.

You're going to move your body in yoga.

You're going to be with your mind in some of the nurturing meditations.

You're going to eat some nice food.

You're going to look at a beautiful lake and replenish and let go and let go and replenish and replenish and let go.

I wanted to say a word or two also about being lazy.

I give you permission to be lazy in a healthy way.

We think of lazy,

I looked it up,

It's got a very unpleasant definition.

It's something like the disinclination and refusal to make effort or work.

Well,

I don't want you to be that kind of lazy or you'll all just stay in your bed all day playing on your iPhones.

Don't do that.

But I found a poem about being lazy that I would like to read that is the kind of lazy I'd like us to practice this weekend.

It's called Being Lazy and I apologize to the author in my cut and paste.

I've cut the name of the author off.

I'll try to find it for tomorrow because writers deserve a tip of our hat.

Being lazy by some fabulous person who shall remain unnamed.

It's a very short poem.

Are you ready?

Lays into my laziness,

Loving the luxuriousness,

Floating forever in a less frantic way.

My type A tendencies barely remembered as I float amongst others who nurture themselves.

Let's make that one of the themes for this weekend.

I'll read it again.

Being lazy,

We're going to call it wholesome lazy.

Lays into my laziness,

Loving the luxuriousness,

Floating forever in a less frantic way.

My type A tendencies barely remembered as I float amongst others who nurture themselves.

This is one of my wishes for each and every one of us this weekend.

I've got a couple others for you.

I'll read at other times.

And so,

In the moment,

If it's skillful,

If it's compassionate,

Pick up the woman in silk,

Carry her across the river,

And then put her down and let it go.

When we find ourselves unable to receive,

Maybe pull back,

Retreat,

And let go of something.

Let go of busyness.

Let go of conversation.

Let go of decision-making beyond,

Oh yes,

In 10 minutes I should get to yoga.

And give your body and soul a chance to rest.

Let go of some things.

Clear some space for the replenishing.

We're offering you as best we can at every turn.

And we're not offering it.

Meaning myself or Neil or the beautiful people who will lead some of the retreats,

The cooks,

The staff.

White Tara is offering it.

Mother Earth is offering it.

The universe,

If that's your language,

Is offering it.

God is offering it.

What your concept in your language is,

It is offered.

It is freely available.

As Thich Nhat Hanh,

I believe,

Famously says,

Happiness is available.

Please help yourself.

That's all we practice for the rest of our days.

Happiness is available.

Please help yourself.

We'd be in better shape.

But until we let go of the hot coal,

It's harder to access the happiness that's right there all the time,

Right there.

So let's let go and replenish.

Let go and replenish.

Let's replenish and let go.

And then we'll take different forms for each of us.

And that is the beauty of being human.

So we'll sit together for just a few minutes.

Before we do that,

I want to cover just a few very simple details for the morning,

Because then we'll sit for about 10 minutes and then I'll close with a blessing.

And I don't like to have any other words after the blessing.

It is my understanding,

And I apologize because I haven't had a chance to ask her,

So I'm going to ask her now.

It's my understanding that you're willing to open the chapel in the morning.

What time would you like to do that?

Our sit time begins at 7.

15.

We have a 45-minute sit and then 8 o'clock is breakfast.

Is that comfortable for you?

Yes.

Okay,

Great.

So the chapel will be open at 6.

Anyone who's up and would like to come for quiet practice,

Please do.

And thank you very much for that,

Marie.

And in terms of a bell ringing,

Do people desire to have a bell rung in where you're sleeping like rung in the hallway?

Yes,

Usually that is a good backup plan.

It's my understanding that you were also going to do that.

Okay,

Thank you.

Just wanted to clarify.

So this is a good bell.

It's louder than my bell here.

And is everybody staying in one building?

Do you know?

I believe so,

Except for you and Cheryl.

We're good.

Cheryl's awake early.

Great,

Because if it was two buildings,

We'd need to find out how Marie could get into the other building.

But if everybody,

I believe,

Is in one building,

You just go make a racket in the hallway.

Make a joyful noise at,

I need you in here ready to go at 7.

15,

So you should be able to be seated and settled by 7.

10.

How does quarter to seven sound?

Or would people like a 6.

30 wake up bell?

6.

30,

Raise your hand.

6.

45,

Raise your hand.

6.

45 is the winner,

Give or take a few.

It's fine.

And then we'll have a 7.

15 meditation.

That will be a silent meditation.

I'll be here usually before you,

And if not,

Certainly a few minutes early.

And you'll come in and get settled.

I'll simply ring the bell and we'll meditate.

And then at the end,

I may say a few words.

But it's very precious to come out of sleep and brush your teeth,

Whatever you desire to do,

And come into silence and move right into the silent practice without any words,

Without even a dedication.

It's quite beautiful for the consciousness.

Just to review,

If that was a lot of words.

The chapel will be open thanks to the generosity of Marie at 6 a.

M.

Come in anytime you wish.

She will also ring the bell outside a bit,

But particularly in that building that you're sleeping in.

At quarter to seven,

We decided,

And the sit begins at 7.

15.

Please do your darndest to be seated and still by 7.

10.

It's one of the most beautiful parts of the retreat is that silent morning sit.

All the other instructions you need will be given tomorrow.

Not to think about anything else.

Nothing else.

You still will because that's the nature of minds.

But one thing at a time.

Be here for a 7.

15 sit is the thing.

Okay.

We're going to sit for a few minutes and I'm going to end with another poem,

A very well-known poem that probably at least half of you will know,

But it captures the feelings so well.

It bears sharing like much great art does to be shared over and over again.

Thank you for your kind attention.

Lovely to have everybody here.

We've got one person who's going to arrive tomorrow afternoon sometime,

Which we already knew that she would be arriving then.

The rest of you are here now.

Lovely to see you and look forward to a very rich day of letting go and replenishment tomorrow.

So for now,

Just settling in for a few moments of direct experience of the body,

Of the mind,

Of the emotional tone.

Whatever it is,

However it is,

Is absolutely okay,

Even if it's not pleasant,

That's okay.

It's just some stuff moving through.

We'll assist it to move through.

Okay.

And now I invite you to turn your attention to the sound of the rain.

You can hear it on the ceiling on the roof of the chapel.

You can hear some of it splashing outside the windows or dripping steadily from a gutter.

And imagine that's the healing crystal liquid light pouring down,

Raining on us,

Moving through our body and washing away all the stains,

All the difficulties,

Letting go.

All we need to do is open our self to receive.

And trust that the purification can move through us,

Dissolving the blocks bit by bit.

All we need to do is open our self to receive.

All we need to do is open our self to receive.

All we need to do is open our self to receive.

All we need to do is open our self to receive.

And in a moment I'll read the poem and close with a prayer to the handful of people that are driving home tonight.

Drive wisely and well.

Feel free to leave all your belongings,

Blankets,

Etc.

,

In the room at your spot if you wish.

And we'll look forward to you joining us in the morning.

A poem,

A prayer,

A bell,

And then if you wish to continue practicing,

Please do so here or in your room as the spirit moves or out in the purifying rain of Vajrasattva.

A beautiful poem by Mary Oliver,

Wild Geese.

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Tell me about despair,

Yours,

And I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes over the prairies and the deep trees,

The mountains,

And the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese high in the clean blue air are heading home again.

Whoever you are,

No matter how lonely,

The world offers itself to your imagination,

Calls to you like the wild geese,

Harsh and exciting,

Over and over announcing your place in the family of thing.

We'll close with what's called a Tashi prayer.

May the day be well and the night be well and the midday hours bring happiness too.

May both the day and the night always be well and by the blessing of the triple gem may all be auspicious.

May all beings be well,

May all beings be happy,

May all beings flourish in non-clinging awareness,

Letting go,

Purifying,

Replenishing,

And beginning again.

May the day be well and the night be well and by the blessing of the triple gem may

Reviews

Wise reflections from a caring heart. Many thanks! 😊🙏🏻

🙏❤️

I am sitting at my computer at 3:30 in the morning working an overnight shift for my job. I am exhausted, frustrated, wishing I was in bed and pretty much hating every moment of this evening. Until I listened to this talk. My entire mindset has shifted and this is absolutely incredible. I can truly feel myself starting to let go and sit in acceptance of the discomfort I feel.. knowing that it will not last - because nothing is permanent in this life. Thank you so much for such an incredible and perfectly-timed talk. I felt like I was at the retreat with you all and it was exactly what my soul needed 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼