Sometimes it can be difficult to know where perseverance ends and where persistence begins.
Where is the fine line between not enough and too much?
Let's join Paul and Pablo as they explore this for themselves.
Pablo can't help but be disappointed with the mark he received for his drawing in school.
Paul asks,
Did the teacher tell you why she didn't give you a better grade?
Yes,
Said Pablo sadly.
She told me she thought I didn't try hard enough.
It was about pointillism art,
You know.
The teacher wanted us to do some parts of the drawing with very close dots to create shadows
and others with more widely spaced dots to create lighter areas.
She said that my drawing is lacking structure.
Ah,
I see,
Said Paul.
Do you think she feels that you gave up too soon?
That you should have persevered?
Do you think that if you'd added a few more dots,
Your drawing would have gained more structure?
Pablo thinks about that one and then asks,
But Dad,
What is the difference between perseverance and persistence?
Does my drawing need to reach a certain number of dots to be good?
Does that mean if I don't get enough dots or if I get too many,
It's not good anymore?
Do I have to have the right number of dots on my drawing to get a good grade?
Good question,
Says Paul.
Why don't you ask your teacher?
Thoughts start to spin around Pablo's mind.
And after a moment he continues,
You know,
Dad,
Joel's grandmother has cancer and the latest treatments had no effect at all.
Joel's parents wanted to keep on trying and trying,
But Joel's grandmother said that she doesn't want to go on with the treatment anymore.
Joel's parents would expect at least 10,
000 dots in my drawing to be happy.
But Joel's grandma,
She would be happy with 1,
000 dots.
So how do we know when it's time to stop?
Pablo asks,
Intrigued.
Paul begins to think about this.
And then he starts thinking out loud.
Well,
Pablo,
To me it looks as if everyone has their own counter system.
Or even better,
Maybe a graduated ruler.
But each of us is free to decide where to place the zero.
Maybe each of us can decide which number of dots or treatments is the minimum.
Pablo looks at his dad.
Well,
Dad,
Now I understand at least why everyone has a different opinion
and why my teacher is disappointed with my drawing.
But I'll be honest with you,
Dad,
That doesn't help me at all to find a solution.
He murmurs,
Half resigned.
Paul thinks for a moment.
Pablo,
Do you remember how you actually felt when you handed in your drawing to your teacher?
In fact,
Let me ask you another question.
Do you remember last week when you were practicing your violin piece
and you actually forgot to set your alarm clock for once?
And instead you stopped when you were actually happy with the result.
Normally you stop after 20 minutes when the alarm clock announces the end of your practice.
Usually you feel heavy and fed up when you're doing your violin practice
and are really happy when the alarm clock goes off.
But I noticed that this time when you stopped by yourself,
You were really light and happy inside.
So,
I'm going to ask you again.
Do you remember how you felt when you handed in your drawing to your teacher?
Yeah,
Dad,
I do remember.
It felt like I was being released from prison.
I was tired of drawing dots.
It felt like I had to draw millions of them.
And it was getting boring,
Pablo admits.
Hmm,
That's interesting,
Says Paul.
Perhaps we have a way of knowing how far to persevere.
It's not your alarm clock that can tell you,
But perhaps it's a feeling inside you.
When you feel relieved,
As when your alarm clock rings to free you
from the weight of your practice with your violin,
You possibly haven't yet done enough and could maybe go on a bit.
When you stop on your own and you're happy with the result,
It could mean that you've reached the end of the perseverance part.
Oh,
Wow,
Says Pablo hopefully.
So,
If I stop my violin practice and my homework with a nice happy feeling,
Does that mean that my teacher will always be happy with the end result?
Pablo asks triumphantly.
Oh,
I'm afraid there are no guarantees in life,
Says Paul,
Who puts a dampener on his son's triumph.
But,
By following the thermometer of your feelings,
You may have found a very reliable tool,
Probably the most reliable one you will ever have.
Hey,
Dad,
I think I get it,
Pablo grins.
Do you think it's a bit like when Mum prepares her roast lamb?
You see,
It's not the alarm clock she's looking at,
Is it?
It's the thermometer.
She keeps saying this doesn't guarantee that the meat is going to be perfect,
But it's still the best way I know of to make sure
it's neither undercooked nor overcooked.
Paul and Pablo have just realised that we all have a thermometer within us
to measure the temperature of our commitment.
It shows up as a feeling of contraction
to tell us when our commitment lacks breadth and depth.
And at that point,
We can certainly persevere.
At that point,
We know for sure that we have the capacity to do better.
But on the other hand,
A feeling of expansion
tells us that we can be pleased and satisfied with our performance.
And at those times,
We know deep down that we don't need to do any more.
