Using Your Practice When Your Life Is Falling Apart

This is an excerpt from the Look Again Podcast. This is a clip from an episode where we interviewed discuss using your practice when your life is falling apart. We discuss the power of thoughts, developing our practice during the good moments in life, gratitude, social mediaand bringing your practice off the mat and into your life.

Please note: This podcast contains explicit language.

Transcript

I know one thing he used to say is like you can either let your mind be the master or you can master your mind and he always correlated the story of the Bhagavad Gita with Arjuna on the chariot with the horses and the horses representing your senses in your mind and all that stuff and Arjuna could either let the horses lead him but he grabbed the reins and directed his senses where he wanted them to go so that's all it is is kind of being aware of your mind and being the master of it and then alleviate and like I said before evict those negative thoughts or emotions or feelings that you're having about being down in life so it's really like Ali said being mindful of what's going on in your mind and then moving it to a place where you know it's healthy and it's way easier said than done like you can say hey be aware of your thoughts and evict the negative stuff but it's gonna take some practice it's not gonna be one of those instant things you know what I mean like our teacher probably taught us this maybe 20 years ago and to this day it's still a hard process it's not something that's easy to do like if your life is in shit and like all of a sudden you're like hey well I'm gonna think about something happy you know I mean like it doesn't really work that easily it takes a lot of effort and you have to build your fortitude in your practice like during those really good moments but it's the right thing to do like you were saying that's all that we control is what's inside of us we can't really control the rest of the world around us so I mean happiness is pretty much a choice you know I mean like but sometimes the outside world makes it really hard to decide to be happy and life is kicking your ass and you're thinking like damn I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel it's there but you might not be able to see it and both all the outside things that are going on it might feel like you're just going further and further in the darkness but like that inner strength and the inner fortitude and I think the resilience is something that a contemplative practice breeds too I mean that bounce back because life is gonna kick you on your ass at every single opportunity but it's your bounce back is what I think the practice brings to you so your bounce back is a lot quicker it's a lot stronger and your time being like down on the mat might not be as long yeah and I mean when you were talking there was something I was thinking about where it's like we get to decide where our mind goes like taking the reins and guiding the horse or just like sitting in the cart and letting the horses go the carts gonna go no matter what you know so are you gonna grab the reins are you just gonna like hang back and be like let's see where it goes because if you are left to that if you go it probably won't end up well for you and so that's the ownership piece is like take those reins yeah our teacher used to always say your mind ends up in shitsville and that was this thing like you can let your mind roam on over in the shitsville or you could bring it into the light is your choice but those are your two options there's no light in shitville ain't no light there's a lot of shit though that's right you know something I was thinking of too I know this isn't exactly I mean still in the same thing that we're talking about but it's interesting you know when you have a practice and we're talking about how a practice will assist you in times when your life is going bad or negative right but I find it it's almost as as you really really start having that daily practice every day it's less of a chance that your life goes to shitsville right you know what I mean so it's not only just using it for it but as you really start incorporating it into your day and now you're aware your thoughts more or you're able to grab those reins and hold on to those you know those senses it's not often that your life gets you know that you struggle I mean it's inevitable they're all still gonna struggle and stuff like that let's not get that twisted but I still feel like as you really start mastering that practice then you don't see the exits just to get to arrive there as much you know what I mean yeah it seems like once you do get to that point where you do have a practice and and you think you kind of roll in and everything's going good I think that's when the tests from the universe get a little more creative it might be something that like you haven't even thought about or someone that you really love that the test is coming from that may not have their own practice or you know I mean like there's a lot of different ways that these tests can come from the universe but it's all about staying rooted in your practice but it becomes really really hard at times I mean I know there's some stuff like we've been doing work with around contemplative practices for almost pushing 20 years now you know I mean stuff happens where it's like anger comes up and it justifiably so you know what I mean but it's like are we gonna sit in that anger and let it kind of determine our next move are we gonna just all right I'm angry now and I'm gonna sit I'm gonna be all right with because I deserve to be pissed right now and it's at some point you got to come out of it make your move from another place but like there were some things that happened last year with us where it was like I was pissed I'm sure I'm sure we were mad as hell and it was just like tell him why they mad son tell him why you mad take my time to be mad but then after I'm mad then I'll move from there and I can let myself to be mad forever about this but I'm gonna take my time and be pissed about this and then I can move forward yeah yeah I was thinking about like feeling like shit you can feel like shit or you can feel like skillfully shit and one thing that one of our participants at a train that we did in Seattle brought up which was a beautiful way to say this is it's like these are contemplative practices not perfect you know like if it was contemplative perfect every time you had a problem it will be resolved that easily with the with the technique but it's really one of those things don't put that weight on yourself and just roll with the practice like you were saying you know it is a practice it may work right away it may not but it's all about sticking with the practice and keep going it's a muscle yeah it's like an energetic muscle that we flex so the more we flex it the more emotional heavy baggage we can lift you know yeah I mean you're gonna get your ass kicked by this human existence like that's a part of this existence it's like you getting your ass kicked by the experience but just not to wallow in it but for so long you know I mean like you can't allow it to totally take over your life like it's going to happen like it's it's inevitable you're not gonna get around it you can't bypass it like you're a human being that's what's gonna happen to you so the practice is what's gonna I think it helps you bounce back and to some extent you can put up like a small kind of shield around it to yourself and block out the little things but the big things are gonna happen and you're gonna have to deal with them one other thing that I noticed is that it's kind of like when you do have that contemplative practice it helps you kind of respond to things instead of react because you are still gonna get thrown tests when you're going in your down spot in life but one thing that you do like I said if you do have your practice you know you will be able to kind of take a breath take a second and respond to whatever shit people will bring into you it's kind of like in the movie half baked when Dave Chappelle had to go into work and he didn't smoke everybody was irritable to him and somebody bumped him and he just threw his broom on the ground like fuck it you know it's like that's how you get if you're going through shit and you are not having contemplative practice because you're reacting to things but you know you seen you know when he had a little bit of medicine in him and he was working in there like he was whistling happy not letting people bother him that medicine is the contemplative practice boom so one thing I was thinking about was so he talked about like find something that's positive and do that right but what's interesting is all of us are unique and what is positive or brings joy in our life is different so the goal is to know who you are well enough to find out what brings you joy so let's transition into what is a contemplative practice or like what are some contemplative practices that you can do so finding the unique positivity in those things what contemplative practice look like I know for me you know I love my dogs and you know I walked them twice a day to get me grounded because we're on the road so much and you know really busy our time is very limited we have to find time in our day to kind of make it that's practical that we can get into our contemplative practices and when I walk my dogs you know John Cabot Zen does an awesome mindful walking exercise and that's kind of what I do I just get myself grounded with every heel toe heel toe as I'm walking my dogs where I'm just totally grounded and I may do you know a certain mantra get into a certain chakra that correlates to the mantra to where I'm doing my contemplative practice while I'm walking around and that kind of helps me out a lot if whatever I'm going through in life I know this past year or past yeah past year has been a little rough a lot of curveballs thrown our way where my mind will be focused on like even though I'm saying all this stuff I'm human you know my mind can get focused on negative shit that people trying to bring my way the only way that I could kind of navigate through that shit is through this practice but walking my dogs in the morning and evening because you know it really was consuming my mind and it got to a certain point where I'm like man my uncle will be so my teacher will be so upset with me because I have all these techniques and I'm throwing them out the window and once again focusing on that thought instead of letting my mind control me instead of controlling my mind and once I really started getting into the mindful walking saying the mantras and focusing on the different chakras that correlate to the mantras man like it really was the first step in changing the frequency of my mind and then the more and more I did that the less and less those negative thoughts were even on my mind and it's probably a lot of listeners out there that don't have a contemplative practice or may not know what brings them joy but an easy place to start if you are in a down place is starting with a gratitude practice I mean it's there's always somebody on this planet is doing a little worse off than you are and you have something to be grateful for it may be hard to find but there's always something even if you woke up in the morning like that's something to be grateful for like you're breathing it may look bad but I mean you can feed and clothe yourself you have fresh water coming out of your pipes you have a car to get around in you have a job you might not I think it's about perspective and looking at the big picture and not the things that are bringing you down in your life in your life experience but there are some things that are lifting you up and they're trying to get you through I mean it may look bleak but you still have something to be grateful for if you really look at I think that's a start and not just saying I'm grateful for this but why you're grateful for it too you know I mean like there's a lot that I have to be grateful for but I know even in those down moments they're still there and there's still people suffering all over this planet it would dive to be in the position that I'm in so just being grateful for the spot that I'm in the things that I have despite all the negative things that might be going on around me and in my head yeah that kind of sounds like a Tong Lin practice where you're breathing in the pain of the world and you're breathing out the healing but damn yeah it's weird it's so amazing sometimes and it kind of makes me reflect on the thing you were saying earlier David when you were talking about is it something in the waters it is like something in the time right now you know what I mean it's going on because I do notice that just hearing what Ali said about being grateful and gratitude in general and how it's amazing how much easier it seems for people to complain than to be grateful you know like I hear complaints way more than I do gratitude for the simple things in life you know like you're saying like I can see I can walk I can smell I woke up there's air there's food you know I just feel like I always hear instead oh god I'm going through this or man I don't have enough of this so I need some more of this it's always like instead of being grateful and thankful for what you have you're complaining about things that you may not really even necessarily need but it's these wants that you don't have and it's like man just really just focus on what you have because you know it's like Ali was saying I mean everybody can find one little thing that they're grateful for and if you just start with that every day say one thing to yourself you're grateful for I really think that can like change the tide for you yeah I think social media has a lot to do with that too though you know I mean like I feel like when people were spending time like actually connecting with people and in their own lives you had a lot more to be grateful for but now your people are on social media and they're looking on Instagram and they're seeing all this like beautiful materialistic stuff that people have and that they're doing which isn't probably what the how their life really is just a reflection of those points their life that they want to make shine but it's also making people see like wow I don't have this I'm not getting this many likes for this or bullshit like that that means absolutely nothing like it means it's total what you told me that means the world but it's it's like one of those things that like I feel like if people were more grounded in their own lives in their own life experienced and worried about what other people were doing materialistically I feel like people would have a lot more gratitude for the things that are going on in their lives I feel like people wouldn't be as depressed or have all these moments where they feel like their life is falling apart because a lot of has to do with comparisons to other people's lives instead of just looking at what your life experience is and what you've been going through yeah so other than like having the vision of how you are perceived in the world digitally or in the actual reality world how do you perceive yourself you know like if you were looking at your own Instagram like how are you judging yourself your internal Instagram whatever you know and it just makes me wonder how powerful our thoughts are do you think you get a thought before an emotion or do you think an emotion happens before a thought I think a thought promotes a certain emotion out of you or an interaction with someone totally and then the other thing I think is like everybody's worried about what everybody else is doing but my only responsibility is be the greatest fucking Ali Smith on this planet you know what I mean like I would suck at being David I'd suck at being Andy I'd suck at being Ottoman but if I can tell it being Ali then that's all I really have to do you know I mean I have to get to know myself inwardly you know what I mean I need to get to know my true self and then let that shine but I think that would relieve a lot of people's tension and frustration and depression about their lives because they're comparing themselves to everyone else instead of just being like well fuck everybody else in a comparative way not like fuck everybody else in like a apathetic way but like I'm not gonna compare myself to anyone else I'm just gonna be the best me that I can be and everything will take care of itself from there and that goes full circle to them because that comes from having a contemplative practice you know oftentimes that contemplative practice creates what you're saying is knowing your real self taking a moment to love yourself and be the best version of you and then that would lead to a way like we're talking about where contemplative practices help you when your life's fall apart

Reviews

I am so grateful for all of these positive concepts. True to my life. Thank you so much

Loved this discussion! Real, relevant, and inspiring.

Y’all are one of my greatest inspirational and practice sources, as a human, mom, educator, partner, … Eternal gratitude. 🙏❤️

You gentlemen are rock stars ✨💛✨💛✨💛... And I love the David Chappelle impression I thought that was him at first...😂🤣
This is apart of my playlist... Namaste 🙏🏽💙🤍💚

Wow! Thank you so much. Listening to this really changed my head space. I have been practicing for years and this just really brought it back home to me.
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Thank you for keeping it real! Appreciate your comments. Going to work hard to stay out of shitsville! Ha ha!

Great listening thank you 🙏 made me smile 😊 and warmed my heart 💜

Loved hearing different perspectives to being “present” and staying positive from men! Wish there were more men who practiced.

Thank you for the straight talk and encouragement to find out who and what you are made of before looking for that answer in someone elses reclection.

Amazing, out walking my dog in chilly Scotland and so needed to hear this. Grateful 🙏

Thanks guys, you certainly know your s***! And for that I’m grateful. This was so helpful, your words brought me home. Been a long time coming. 🙏💕Ax

Great. Interesting conversations from an entirely different source. Thank you.

“Tell em why you mad, son!” 😂 one of my fav interludes & even more hilarious now as an adult!! I’m 10 years into my practices to process my past, patterns, emotions & thoughts. This interlude has come thru to shift my energy for sure 😅 Loving this pod🙌🏾

So much truth in this short talk! Thank you guys!!

Nice to hear guys sharing, we all go through this human experience and are all so similar but so different! Building a practice in the good times and getting to know myself is what has helped me through the bad times the most… Thank you for sharing! 😊🙏🏻

Life is hard. Thoughts, emotions, & feelings all over the place. Great talk...... down to earth and real.
Thank you for helping me re-focus myself and my mind this morning 🙏

I really enjoyed that as I am in a bad place but I know I am in charge so it helps to buck me up .
Thank you

I enjoy listening to you all. You have such spot insights.
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Spot on! Really enjoyed this. I will listen again ✨

Thank you.