To be in love is to have something or someone's best interest in mind and heart when acting
Upon something.
What are some ways we can recall this ability to rise in love?
Is there a technique that can remind us in situations of difficulty?
So when I think about this,
Actually,
I go by to think about myself too and my family
And the way that I grew up.
I have a beautiful childhood growing up in Puerto Rico in the mountains.
I can throw as many rocks as I could,
Nobody's glass that was in the middle,
I'm not going
To get arrested and my record damaged.
So I didn't grow up in like a big city like that.
So even though I grew up in a very kind of healthy environment between compared with
Other people around the world,
I still see,
Of course,
My parents are like normal human
Beings and once in a while they will fight.
And probably 60% of the people around me,
When they enter in this argument,
The first
Thing they do is just walk out of the door.
I guess some people mechanism is pretty much not to deal with the situation at the moment,
Especially when something that is not agreeable or you cannot agree at the middle or something
Like that.
My point with this is not everyone have the tools to cope with these mechanisms,
Especially
When you are in relationships,
You know,
Like my parents or many of the people around us,
They don't.
And,
You know,
I'm not an expert in meditation or in or any kind of a yoga,
But I know now
As an adult that certain tools can help people to cope with these situations.
And when you're in a situation where you are needed because try to cope with this situation
With a person that you love for this disagreement,
It really is a general tool that I wish I
Can learn more.
And of course,
We have these experts here in the panel so they can help us to guide.
And the purpose of this program actually to is to guide people like me to that,
To learn
How to have simple techniques,
To be able to cope with this mechanism,
Especially when
I,
When we're in our relationships and,
You know,
Relationship came different ways.
The people that I love,
My friends and other aspects.
So I,
When I think about this is,
You know,
In order for me to raise and love myself,
I need to be able to have these tools accessible for everyone in order to take five minutes
And in that argument or in that situation,
Just stop,
Breathe and have a better conversation
And raise and just bring that love out because that's supposed to be the win-win situation
For everyone.
So that's the way you kind of see these though.
Yeah,
I think,
I think what Juan said about awareness really sticks out to me.
Like you,
You really have to be aware of how you're responding and reacting to things when
You're around other people to be able to have a positive,
Uplifting relationship with them.
Because,
You know,
Sometimes you get in the heat of the moment and you just blow up and
Those,
Those lack of awareness moments where you're just,
Yeah,
It's just like all the
Emotion just kind of explodes on someone.
I think something else is like having compassion for people because,
You know,
Like if you're
In relationship with somebody,
Like they're trying their best for the most part,
You know
What I mean?
Like they're not there to try to hurt you,
But looking at where they're coming from,
Having some compassion for their life experience,
But also having compassion for yourself because
You know how you want to be treated in a relationship and I'm not saying you should just let someone
Run all over you,
But I think understanding where they're coming from,
But having enough
Compassion for yourself to like,
There's ways that you can tell people that something's
Wrong without exploding with them.
Like you can sit down and have a conversation.
There's a lot of ways to do it other than like yelling and screaming and doing it that
Way.
And I think reflection is also another big one.
Another tool is usually,
You know,
I say sometimes,
Sometimes you're observing things in people,
But other times it's just a,
It's a reflection of what you see,
What you don't like about
Yourself that you're picking out in them.
So I guess just the,
The discernment to be able to figure out when you are actually observing
Something or if it's something that's bothering you about them because it's something that's
In you that bothers you.
I know a technique that helps me when I deal with difficult situations or people is removing
The emotion from the problem.
I know me and I always teach your Uncle Will used to always tell me like,
Man,
I mean your
Best friend is anger.
You roll with anger all the time and I really didn't understand like what he was talking
About because I wasn't an angry person.
But when I did deal with those difficult people in situations,
I thought that the only way
I could get my point across was to raise my voice and,
You know,
Be angry and,
You know,
Reflecting on all those situations,
It didn't make me feel good after I left the situation.
I know I felt like I had taken a fall a little bit,
Same thing with the other person.
It didn't make the person reflect on how they could have approached the situation better.
All it did was create more friction.
And you know,
I know that you shouldn't just be passive and,
You know,
Just for the sake
Of,
You know,
Keeping your peace,
You should always try to resolve conflicts peacefully.
And you know,
The way that he taught me to do that was,
Yeah,
Say somebody called you
Out your name,
You know,
Don't react and call them out their name.
You know,
Maybe just respond,
Reflect on it for a second,
Take the emotion,
Which is probably
Going to be anger or,
You know,
Hurt out of the situation and just resolve the situation.
Explain yourself,
Explain why that doesn't make you feel good.
And yeah,
Just stuff like that.
I mean,
I think that's one of the best tools that,
You know,
I was ever taught and ever
Adapted into my life because it feels good,
You know,
Resolving conflicts in a harmonious way.
And that's the epitome of rising in love,
You know,
Having that love for yourself and
Love enough for others to not cause a fall within yourself and them.
Yeah,
I'll piggyback off that,
Ahmed.
You had mentioned removing emotion from the problem.
And I think a lot of that is letting go of your ego,
As sometimes someone may say something
That's upsetting and just having the ability to not take it personal,
Take a step back
And then what Ali mentioned is having compassion.
I was exactly the same way,
Like,
You know,
Filled with anger and maybe reactive and you
Get to understand like,
Okay,
Why am I doing this?
And taking a step back,
Practicing your breath,
But also just what can I learn from the situation?
And having that quiet confidence to just own your own self and own your own love.
And when you come up with this whole concept of what can I learn from the situation,
Then
You have a better vision of why that person is saying something to you.
And maybe there's something that you can learn about yourself and about the other person.
Because remember,
If we're talking about love,
It's unconditional regardless of what that
Person is communicating with you and how you're receiving it.
So we're telling the people to be centered.
But Didi,
I just want to say this comment that when is too much?
When became selfish?
You know,
Because if you're telling the person center,
You know,
Think about yourself all
The time.
Maybe a person can take it in a way that is like,
Well,
I heck everything out and it can
Get to a point.
Do you think that can became a point of being selfish and how we can how we can kind of
Stop that,
You know,
Like being allow ourselves to go too far?
Yeah.
I mean,
It seems like being selfish can become really easy,
Particularly I feel like if you're
With a very like caring and giving partner.
I think there are people that do take advantage of situations like that and do become selfish.
I don't know.
I mean,
I think it just might be some some self-awareness like he was talking about,
Like looking at your ego and trying to pull your ego out of it.
You know,
All all successful relationships in the universe have an energetic balance
No matter what it is.
It can be between two planets or two people or the sun and the earth.
I mean,
There's just like there has to be an energetic balance where the energy is being
Given one way and also given in the other way.
So you're actually giving and receiving energy.
And if it's all one way,
Eventually it's going to break down just energetically.
It's not going to work.
There might be there might be certain physical things that that are working or certain emotional
Things that working.
But if it's not working energetically and it's not that balance of energy,
At some point
It's just going to fall apart.
You know,
This question of what are some ways that we can recall this ability to rise in
Love?
You know,
I was thinking about this question.
I'm an introvert.
Right.
So a lot of time I spent is alone and thinking and even going out the way to,
You know,
Move
Away from my normal surroundings just so I could understand who I am.
But then you also realize like,
OK,
That can't be self-sufficient either,
Because you're
Also shielding yourself from love and having people love you.
Right.
And,
You know,
I reflected on this and a lot of it is also attachment,
Because
If someone loves you,
They could also hurt you.
Right.
And you can be hurt and you feel this vulnerability.
One of the ways that we recall this ability to rise in love,
And it's not even a way or
Practices.
I remember buying a pet and for for many years I never had a dog or a cat
Or anything like that,
Because I was afraid that if that pet dies,
I will be really
Hurt.
Right.
And just really broken.
But as an adult,
I purchased and I looked and I found this this Pomeranian Husky is
Small and he's tiny.
But what I realized,
Like,
Wow,
I'm not thinking about myself anymore.
I'm thinking about taking care of this being.
Right.
And then that led to just more greater love.
Then it just started opening up,
OK,
There's other things to think about than yourself.
And that was just a small reference.
Right.
Then it becomes people and beings and eventually had a baby boy.
And just now your love shifts.
But I thought that was really,
Really eye opening thing for me was just the ability to
Love another being.