Creating Positive Habits

We'll explore the core beliefs and thought patterns that may be sabotaging your efforts to create positive change. Through mindset mindfulness and self-compassion practices, you'll learn how to free yourself and adopt a more positive, empowered mindset.

So, if YOU are ready to make a real change in your life, let's now embark on this journey of self-discovery and transformation, which will give you the inspiration to create lasting positive habits in your daily life.

Photo: Nathan Dumlao.

Transcript

Okay,

So in the first part when I start speaking if anybody has comment,

Question and you are on Instagram,

You can just type something and I'll be happy to relate to it.

Today what I'd like to talk and to meditate with is changing all habits or bad habits with good habits.

Before we go into habits it's very important to acknowledge the part that sees the habits.

It's very important because otherwise we're staying all the time in the mind and it's my habits.

But as Ramana Maharishi said,

First we have to understand who is looking and then everything becomes more clear.

So habits are in the realm of the mind and the one who looks at the habits is in the realm of the mind.

And always the spirit is before the mind and the mind is in the light of the spirit,

Not vice versa.

So in order to change habits,

First of all we need space.

We need to practice somehow,

Develop a possibility to observe that we are running all habits,

That actually we're running in a circle and we cannot get out of this circle.

If we're doing everything the same,

If we're thinking everything the same,

If we're dressing the same,

Combing our hair the same,

Eating the same,

Thinking the same,

How can we expect that all habits will change?

They will never change.

We must change something for things to change.

And doesn't matter on which level it is,

We must change things.

We have to understand that the mind works like a computer and it's wired in a certain way.

So if I take this pen and I'm thinking,

I'm going to write my name right now.

Yeah?

Ya-ir.

This is easy.

But if I write it in the left,

I almost get discomfort in my stomach.

All the nervous system gets,

Ah,

What are we doing here?

The same like everything else.

So if I want to dress up in one way that I use every day,

Or to get off the bed to the right but not to the left,

Or to eat with the right but not to the left,

Or any habit that I have,

You know,

You feel,

You'll see that your mind is doing,

No,

No,

No,

No,

Give me the old,

The familiar.

But of course,

I mean,

It doesn't matter if I dress like this or like that.

But if I think that I'm stupid,

That matters a lot.

If I'm thinking that I'm not worthy,

And it's a habit,

It matters a lot.

If I think that nobody loves me,

It matters a lot.

It's a habit.

It's still a habit.

But this habit is very destructive,

But coming with the right or with the left,

It doesn't really matter,

It's important.

Okay,

So to work on changing habits,

One is to work on the habits,

On habits in general.

And then also to work on the one that sees the habit.

So we have two levels of perspective here.

I think that to work on the habits themselves,

It's very,

Very important.

Because even if you can see the habit,

But you cannot change them,

You're still going to do the same thing.

So,

For example,

If you're addicted to something,

And you know always,

Let's say a cigarette,

You know that always after you eat,

You're going to go out and have a cigarette.

It doesn't matter how spiritual you are,

This tendency or the craving of the body for that chemical to be secreted in you to feel good,

Is going to be the same,

Always the same.

So,

To change habits,

First of all,

We have to start to become aware that our mind is wired in a certain way.

And to understand that actually we are like a computer,

Working computers,

That we are wired in a certain way,

And we must rewire our system in order to change habits.

This is number one.

Number two,

When the habit comes,

We have to develop ways to deal with the addiction,

To deal with that chemical that's secreted,

That the body wants to do it,

Because it will make you feel good.

We have to deal with it.

We have to know how to deal with it.

Okay,

So first of all,

We need to develop practice of regular habits,

Not like the ones that are very difficult for us.

So,

Try to do things differently,

So your mind will start to develop awareness to everything you do 24-7,

Even in the sleep.

I know it sounds weird,

But even sleeping,

You start to become aware of everything.

But it's a commitment,

You know,

It's not easy to do.

So,

It takes a lot of commitment to say,

I'm going to be aware 24-7,

Because if not,

What's happening is the mind starts to work,

Even when you do things that the mind doesn't need to work.

You're washing dishes,

The mind thinks about something.

You get off your bed,

The mind immediately thinks about something.

You only wake up,

The mind thinks about something.

But this is a habit as well.

So,

We must start,

Like now for example,

I'm talking with the right hand.

Why not with the left hand?

It's a habit.

It's the way my mind is wired.

So,

Not right hand now,

Only left if I want to talk.

For example,

Or how do you sit right now?

Do you sit cross-legged?

The left over the right,

The right over the left?

Or anything,

Just check yourself right now.

It's all habits.

And we must be aware 24-7 of the habits,

If you want to make a change.

Okay,

So I really recommend to pay attention to small habits.

Everything,

Everything you do,

Pay attention.

You see again,

I do the right hand,

Not the left.

Go to the left,

Yair.

Good.

Number two,

Once you have this more under control,

Is to understand that in the body,

There is a chemical reaction to habits.

So,

We secrete different chemicals that allows us,

Or will push us to do a certain thing in a certain way.

So,

Kim said,

I'm eating a chocolate ginger biscuit.

Kim,

You are amazing.

Bad habit.

Maybe not now in the meditation.

So,

It's very important for you to understand and to create space between you and the habit.

Between you and the craving.

Okay,

So number one is starting to become aware of anything you do.

So,

You're aware also of the process that relates to craving.

Because the mind is like programmed,

All of us programmed,

To all the time be attracted to something that gives us joy and enjoyment,

And to repel or to push things that make us feel bad.

All the time.

So,

If you pay attention to your mind,

You'll see that your mind is scanning constantly.

And the minute it touches something,

A thought,

That says,

Oh,

This will give me satisfaction,

It grabs it.

And if you're not very strong,

Until this satisfaction is not met,

It will not let go of that.

You'll see,

You know,

Chocolate cake,

Anything,

Anything,

Anything.

And the opposite,

The minute it attracts thought or sensation that is negative,

It will not let go until it has a solution.

That's why we become so anxious in our life.

Because we cannot let go of that thing that we're afraid of,

That will make us feel bad.

Or if I have some pain,

Oh my God,

What will happen?

So,

The mind gets obsessive about that.

In both situations,

Positive and negative,

We are observing that.

We are the observer of the situation.

Okay,

So let's focus in,

And then I'll try to lead us to develop some tools that are more meditative and more relate to awareness.

So,

Let's just connect to the breathing,

First of all.

Just pay attention to how the breath moves in the body.

Okay,

And again,

Be aware,

For example,

I put my hands like this,

You know.

Why not like this?

So,

The minute I pay attention,

I do like this?

No,

Do like that.

Okay?

Just something simple.

If you do yoga,

You know,

And you want to start an exercise to the right,

Start it to the left.

Everything try to do different.

Then your mind will start to be very aware.

Pay attention in your body,

First of all.

Maybe you can change something that you do habitually without paying attention.

Then pay attention to the breathing,

How it moves in the body.

Now pay attention to your mind.

Just pay attention how is it doing.

Is it relaxed?

Is it moving fast?

Is it worried,

Like trying to repel something that is not nice?

Or is it the opposite,

Trying to pull something that suddenly you think about?

Or after the meditation,

I'm going to have something beautiful to eat,

For example.

Or I'm going to read the most amazing book.

Or I'm going to see a beautiful Netflix that my friend recommended.

So,

Pay attention.

What's happening in your mind?

But pay attention also that you're paying attention to the mind.

Meaning you're not your mind,

Obviously,

Because you're paying attention to a thought.

No need to identify with that thought.

But that thought secretes hormones or,

You know,

Creates some kind of reaction,

Chemical reaction,

That makes us being very,

Very attracted or repelling.

So pay attention to what's happening.

Now let's practice working with a thought that is very,

Very attractive,

That creates a very strong attraction inside us to manifest it,

To do it.

But try to make it a real thought.

Like,

For example,

If you have a craving for something that you have in the fridge,

For example,

Tell yourself,

You know,

After the meditation,

I'm going to have this biscuit or this whatever.

And try to be aware what happens in your body.

I know it's not real because it didn't happen naturally.

But maybe you can be aware what is the,

In a way,

Sensational chemical reaction in your system.

Maybe there is more saliva.

Maybe there is,

I don't know,

Another sense of well-being.

Whatever.

Just pay attention.

And now let's practice a tool.

It's not the only one,

Of course.

But let's practice a tool of entering to that sensation,

Like falling,

Like disappearing in that sensation.

For example,

If that sensation of I must have something,

Yeah,

I feel like a certain anxiety in my stomach or in my chest.

So,

Let's try to bring all the awareness and all our focus on that.

But not on that,

To become that.

It means that that sensation in my stomach,

That anxious sensation in my stomach,

I am entering into it.

It's a bit difficult to explain.

But my whole being is like being pulled into that completely.

So,

There is no observer and an object.

There is just that.

I am the object,

Completely pulled into the object.

Just to practice,

Separate.

So,

I am looking at the object.

So,

That sensation of anxiety,

Pull out,

Create space.

Look at it.

There is anxiety in my stomach,

For example,

Or any other sensation,

It doesn't matter.

And now,

Disappear in that.

All your being is like being merged with that anxious sensation.

And you'll see that the other side of this anxiety is peace.

It's very magical.

Let's try.

Now,

Many times,

Anxiety or that kind of I must have something feeling ties together with unrestness in the mind.

So,

The mind will try to pull you out from that.

Don't worry,

Just stay very focused.

Your whole being is merged into the discomfort.

So,

There is a deep sense of surrendering to the discomfort.

Not trying to fix it.

Not even trying to look at it.

Just disappearing in it.

No space.

No separation.

And maybe inside,

Like what came to me right now is sadness,

For example.

Maybe inside that kind of bubble of discomfort,

There is a lot of emotion that has been there,

Covered by this urge to have that thing that you are desiring.

Just be.

Whatever comes,

It's okay.

It doesn't matter.

You'll see that your system.

.

.

You see I'm starting to talk slowly now,

Because the nervous system calms down.

It moves beyond anxiety into peace.

Okay?

Let's just practice one more time.

I know if you are entered and you feel better,

You don't want to move out.

Let's one more time move out.

And let's connect now to a sensation when the mind is craving something,

But it doesn't know what it craves.

It just wants something.

It wants something.

It wants something.

And it gives a sense of fidgetiness.

Of uneasiness.

Of,

Okay,

So I'll eat something.

Okay,

So I'll read something.

Okay,

So,

So,

So,

So.

Because deep inside,

There is anxiety.

Yeah?

And we have to train ourself to dive into it and to be with it.

Then you'll find peace on the other side.

Let's go for it.

Try to connect to that feeling that I'm sure is familiar to you,

That the mind all the time needs something.

Like it's a hungry beast that all the time needs to be fed by something.

A thought,

An emotion,

A fear,

A food,

Sex,

Netflix,

Whatever.

Just give me something because I cannot stand myself.

So now we don't give it anything.

So it cries.

Then we dive into it.

We dive to the emotion.

We dive to the thoughts.

We dive to the sensation.

We don't care what happens.

So for a minute,

It's not comfortable.

But then,

Other side is peace.

Let's be with that.

No thinking here.

No looking at.

You are that discomfort which was in you.

You are that now.

Your whole being.

And whatever you find there,

Let it just evaporate through your system.

Don't be attached to another thing.

And now we allow ourselves to go deeper.

But it's not go deeper.

We allow ourselves to drop deeper.

Better saying than go.

It's not inactive.

It's allowing.

Wonderful.

So now when we move through that illusory beast called the mind,

And we see that actually it's so illusory because there is nothing beyond it.

Nothing.

We feel good.

We feel empowered.

We feel that we are not subject to this beast because it's just fata morgana.

Then we start to enjoy.

So let's widen our perspective now to acknowledge our infinity.

Because part of the suffering is because we are locking ourselves with the awareness that I am this little person while we are actually infinite beings.

This is the truth of who we are.

So just surrender into the anxiety that you've been aware of and into the infinity which is your true nature.

So we allow the mind to expand and to expand and to expand.

Infinitely expansion.

At the same time,

We're not letting go if you're aware of any sense of anxiety in your stomach,

For example,

Or any negative feeling that you were aware of earlier.

Allow it to expand with you.

And then we're introducing gratitude.

First of all,

Gratitude to ourself that we're putting the effort because it's not so easy,

Those things.

But the price is the highest.

So it's a deep gratitude that you're giving to yourself that you're making the effort to move beyond this slavery called addiction,

Called desires.

I must have.

I must not have.

All those things we're moving beyond and we give gratitude to ourself for making the effort.

Thank you.

We give gratitude for life that magically,

You know,

Magically we are here together tonight.

That's so auspicious.

So there is power,

Grace that is beyond our mind,

Beyond everything,

That supports us when we make a little bit of effort.

So much power is gathered around us to support us more and more and more to move in the right direction.

So,

So much gratitude for that.

We inhale and we say thank you and we exhale and we say thank you.

And thank you is not only a word.

Thank you is an energetical quality.

You see,

When you say thank you,

When you inhale thank you,

There's a quality in it.

It cannot be explained,

But it's so beautiful.

When you exhale thank you,

Same.

And another pillar to support this practice that we're doing is the Sangha.

It's the name for the spiritual community in Tibetan Buddhism.

It's us here together in this very moment sharing a present,

Which is the only true space there is,

Is now.

It doesn't matter if you're in Israel or Spain or England or in America.

It has zero meaning.

We are here now.

Now is the room where we're meeting.

So the minute we acknowledge our presence,

We can support each other.

So let's breathe together love and light to be supported by each other.

And then let's exhale love and light and gratitude to our friends,

To our spiritual community.

As much as we grow,

As much as we raise vibration,

We benefit.

And we're benefiting others.

Beautiful.

This is very powerful.

Every week,

For me,

This is the strongest.

When we connect together and acknowledging our unity,

It's the strongest effect of everything.

That's the power of our mind,

Acknowledging reality and sharing it.

So powerful.

Inhaling together,

Receiving the light and the love from each other,

And then exhaling and giving it to others.

And now,

Pay attention if there's any leftover tension of any sort inside your system.

Maybe still there is some emotional tension.

Maybe there is still some mental or physical tension.

Or energy tension.

Sometimes it's not so physical,

But we feel that our vibration is not in harmony.

And offer that tension to synchronize with infinity.

I'm inviting my being to synchronize with infinity.

And be humble,

So humble,

For that to take place.

So just to summarize,

When we want to work with old negative habits and change them,

Number one is to develop the practice of becoming aware to anything and everything you're doing.

By changing things and not doing them the same.

Number one.

Number two,

When something arises and you feel that you are caught,

That you are being captured by your mind,

That there is a desire to do something that you know it will not do you good,

Just connect to the sensation and dive into it.

Be with it.

And you see that it will be taken out of power.

And number three is to have a practice when you're meditating and you acknowledge that you are an infinite being.

And then to that infinity which you are,

You can offer tensions.

You can offer anxieties.

You can offer physical and emotional discomforts.

Because there is infinite space where all these tensions can be synchronized with.

So thank you so much for joining and have the most beautiful week.

Bye-bye.