Get Happy! Pt. 1 - Prioritizing Positivity

This is the first part of a 5 part series that dives deep into Martin Seligman's theory of happiness. This session focuses on the "P" of the PERMA model, positive emotions. You'll learn what positive emotions are and how to infuse them into your daily life. Prompts for further reflection or journaling are provided at the end of the session.

Transcript

Hi there.

Welcome and thanks so much for tuning in today.

My name is Jennifer and I am the owner of Ignite Health Coaching and Wellness.

I'm based up in the Canadian Rockies.

And I have a,

Basically I'm on a mission to support people who are physically active,

But also experiencing anxiety and depression.

And my whole goal is to help them to take control of their mental health and to feel like themselves again.

So that is my whole purpose and educating people in ways that they can actually use their own physiology and use their own psychology to be able to transform their bodies and their minds so that they don't experience these things anymore.

So I'm going to be talking today about a topic that's honestly probably one of my favorites.

I'm going to be talking today about prioritizing positivity.

And this session is one part of a series of five sessions that basically are taking a theory of positive psychology or a theory of happiness and breaking it down into easy bite-sized pieces and actionable steps so that you can start to feel better and increase the amount of happiness and joy and things that you're experiencing in your life.

So I'm going to be taking the first part of this today.

This is the PERMA model,

Which is presented or developed by Martin Seligman.

And he talks about the first part of this PERMA,

P-E-R-M-A,

As positive emotions.

So let's get into it.

I'd like to start today's session just by bringing up a little quote.

And the quote is,

Pursuing happiness is a delicate art.

And that's a quote by Lana Catalino.

And this really captures what we're going to be talking about in today's session.

Being happy all the time or having positive emotions is not about being happy all the time,

Right?

Being happy all the time or being happy is not about being happy all the time.

And so it really is a balance.

It's a balance of positive emotions.

It's a balance of negative emotions.

And it's taking all of our experiences and kind of weaving them together.

So before I dive too much in,

I'd actually just like to get on the same page about what emotions are.

And I know that sounds kind of insane,

But we don't really think about it a lot.

Emotions are basically they're fleeting experiences that have an impact on the body.

Okay.

And they last for just moments to minutes.

So when I say a fleeting experience,

Like this is an emotion is very,

Very quick,

Very short experience for somebody.

Sometimes we think about,

You know,

Say we've been happy for a very long time or we've been so sad forever.

And this is not how it works.

These emotions are very,

Very small periods of time that we actually experience them.

The rest of that,

The rest of that experience is more about perception.

Okay.

So it's more of a mental state as opposed to a physiological state or a state of your body.

And the cool thing is that emotions actually do change our physiology or the internal workings of our body.

So science has been able to show,

You know,

Changes in brain chemicals.

They've been able to show changes in the biomagnetic rhythms that are in our heart and these types of things.

So they can actually measure emotion by using different scientific tools.

Okay.

So whether that's an FMRI or whether they're looking at,

Yeah,

Like I said,

Measuring your heart's wavelengths and these types of things.

So we can measure them and they don't last very long is kind of the key.

And that goes for both positive and negative emotions.

So when we're looking at emotions,

We have to really think about kind of the purpose of them.

Okay.

And this,

It goes kind of for any of our reactions in our body.

We want to think about why we actually have this happening.

What's the purpose?

So when we look at negative emotions,

It makes a lot of sense from a,

From a,

I don't know,

From a caveman days perspective,

From a survival perspective.

If we had negative emotions,

It was because something in our environment was a threat and something needed to change.

Okay.

So this is where negative emotions came into place and why we still have them today.

So we might not have the same survival issues going on,

Like being chased by a lion or something like this,

But these emotions exist at times and they act as a clue for us to be able to adjust our situations or realize that something needs to change.

So that is the primary goal.

And when you have these negative emotions,

It's really important to kind of hear them out,

Right?

Because if we are experiencing them,

That means that something needs to change.

So we can take advantage of those things,

Which is absolutely fantastic and and use them to help to move us forward.

The trouble is,

Is that we get really bogged down in them and that's when we start to have problems.

Okay.

So that's where the difference is,

Is that we don't use them as a,

As an adaptation anymore.

We let them kind of rule our psychology.

So when we look at you know,

Balancing positive and negative emotions,

It's really important.

Like that balance part is really key.

The research actually shows that if people try to be happy all the time,

It actually makes you more depressed and can increase feelings of loneliness.

And so when we're trying to be happy,

We don't want those things to come into our lives.

So forcing ourselves to be happy all the time or putting on a mask to make it seem like we're happy all the time,

Ignoring negative emotions,

Shoving those things down,

That actually doesn't help us to be happy.

So it's really important to know that so that we can balance these positive and negative emotions in our lives and start to understand the purpose of the negative ones,

Learn from them and move forward and be able to pull those positive emotions in at times that are going to help us to,

That are going to help to boost us and make us feel our best.

So both have a lot of value.

When we look at positive emotions from that kind of survival standpoint,

It doesn't really make sense,

Right?

So we think about like,

Oh,

Well,

Happiness wouldn't have helped us really to survive.

It wouldn't have helped you survive in the moment,

But what it did is it built resilience over the long term.

Okay.

So happiness is not the only positive emotion.

We'll talk about what all of those are in just a moment.

But when you think about positive emotions,

They actually help to keep you in a good mental space so that you actually mentally,

Your brain is working better and that you were able to problem solve.

You were able to make community connections with other people so that you had a tribe,

I guess,

So that you were able to survive in that way and just overall increasing resilience.

So when we look now,

There's so many benefits of positive emotions,

Right?

We know these things where we're not totally oblivious.

But some of the benefits of positive emotions,

For example,

They actually undo negative states in our bodies.

So if we experience a bunch of negative emotions,

If we can actually pull positive emotions into our experience,

We can counteract the negative effects on the body that that negative emotion had.

So it's pretty cool.

It's kind of just like the antidote,

Right?

A negative emotion is a positive emotion.

We get changes in our heart rhythm,

Which is totally wild to think about.

And I briefly mentioned this already,

But they can actually measure the bio-magnetic field that your heart puts off.

And people within a certain distance of you can actually feel this.

So you know when you walk into a room and you can like cut the tension,

It's because you can feel the bio-magnetic fields of other people that are in that space.

So that's why a lot of times when you try to mask things or try to cover things up,

You think you're being so good at it,

But you aren't because people can still feel what's going on emotionally for you.

So the benefits of positive emotion is it changes those heart rhythms to be in good places and promotes heart health,

Right?

Your sleep is better.

You feel more connected to other people when you experience positive emotions.

You're able to see perspective better.

You're able to understand your situations and to be able to problem-solve and get things done in a better way from perspectives.

Your creativity gets better,

Right?

Your lifespan actually increases when you experience positive emotions.

And for women specifically,

We tend to ruminate a lot on negative things,

Spinning thought cycles,

Worries,

These types of things.

So we really need to think about bringing positive emotions into our lives intentionally because that's going to help us to change those thought processes and kind of stop the cycle,

Stop the spinning and the worry.

Okay,

So super important stuff here.

When I'm talking about positive emotions,

What are they,

Right?

What positive emotions even exist?

So positive emotions can include things,

The research I guess shows that there's 10 of them,

And they include joy,

Gratitude,

Serenity,

Curiosity,

Hope,

Pride,

Fun,

Inspiration,

Awe,

And love.

I'll say those again one more time just to get them to really sit with you.

So joy,

Gratitude,

Serenity,

Curiosity,

Hope,

Pride,

Fun,

Inspiration,

Awe,

And love.

Even just listening to those,

I don't know about what sounds like I'm saying them,

I guess,

But as I'm saying them out loud,

I don't know how you feel as I say those things,

But it kind of brings,

It makes my heart feel lighter,

Even just saying them out loud.

It's so inspiring,

I guess,

To hear that there's so many opportunities and so many different experiences that we can have that bring positivity to our lives.

So I'd be curious to know if there's any of those positive emotions that kind of really struck you as I said them.

Was there something that you saw or heard that you were like,

Oh yeah,

That's something I need in my life,

Or that's something I love experiencing in my life?

So think about that.

When I talk about positive emotions,

One of the things that I really want people to do and the thing that makes the most difference,

If you've heard any of my stuff before,

But it's intention.

And with positivity,

It's about prioritizing positivity.

So what does this mean to me?

If somebody's prioritizing positivity,

They actively choose to make time and space to infuse these positive emotions or positive experiences into every single day,

Regardless of what else is happening.

So there's a few really key parts there that I want to highlight.

Actively choosing is the first one.

So we can't just expect that positive emotions are just going to float through our lives every single day.

They can,

And that's amazing.

But we actually have to get really intentional about this.

And that's the difference between somebody that feels a lot more happy in general than somebody that doesn't,

Is that they actually make a choice to have positive emotions in their day,

And they do things that make them feel this way.

So that's really,

Really important.

So they make that time,

Right?

And this is the thing about the time people panic while I don't have time for anything.

This is where the word infusion and I very intentionally chose the word infusion here,

As opposed to something about blocking off time.

It doesn't have to be hard.

These positive experiences can be woven into the things you're already doing.

It's like the color when you watch a bag of tea steep in water,

Right?

The color infuses itself through the water.

The water is already there.

It's just that this color is kind of weaving its way in and around those molecules,

Right?

So we don't have to do anything special or anything extra to have positive emotions in our lives.

It's just more of a matter of being intentional about including them in the things we already do.

So if you have a beautiful scenery outside your home or on your drive or your walk to work,

Take a moment to enjoy that and experience awe,

Right?

Notice that small moment of silence when you first wake up in the morning.

That's a big moment,

Right?

Get curious when you meet somebody or when you're talking to somebody at your job or with your family.

Ask questions.

Get engaged with them.

Be surrounded by people who you love and who love you,

Right?

Have some fun.

Watch a silly video.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't have to be anything big.

It doesn't have to take hours a day.

But if you actually intentionally infuse these little moments into every single day,

Regardless of what's happening,

You are going to feel better without a doubt.

So that is really,

Really important.

And that every single day,

Regardless,

I know that can be really,

Really intimidating for somebody that's feeling anxious or depressed.

I've been there.

I still experience that sometimes.

But that's what really,

Really makes the difference is that you can do these things.

Practice a moment of gratitude,

Right?

For anything that worked well for you today.

The fact that your feet hit the floor today.

For the fact that you have a roof over your head.

Whatever that might look like,

Right?

Very small things make the biggest difference.

When I talk about this,

And you'll hear this in probably almost every video I have,

But when we look at what the science says on how happiness is created in people,

50% of that comes from your DNA,

Which there's not a lot of control there.

40% of your happiness actually comes from your intentional experiences or your intentional activity.

So if you intentionally infuse positive emotions into your day,

You have a 40% chance of being happier.

That's pretty big.

And 10%,

The remaining 10% comes from circumstances.

It doesn't matter what your circumstance is,

That's only contributing 10% of your overall joy and your overall happiness in your life.

So use that 40% to your advantage,

Right?

If you're doing intentional activities that are going to bring you down,

You're going to feel worse or you're not going to feel fantastic.

But if we choose and intentionally do positive experiences,

We're going to feel a lot better.

Now,

I don't want you to be discouraged because this is not something that is going to come to you overnight.

It's really great.

It's something that can work really quickly,

Which is fantastic,

But it also is not something that's going to take time for you to cruise through easily,

Right?

For something to become natural for you.

So it takes practice and commitment.

So committing to actually doing this every day,

Whatever that thing is for you,

And then actually doing it,

Right?

Practicing it over and over again.

And when you have those negative experiences come up or you've acknowledged the negative experience,

You've taken the learning from it,

You're ready to move forward,

It's practicing,

Getting back in that positive mental space,

Bringing those positive emotions into your life.

So think about just a few questions for you to think about as I kind of wrap up here and you might want to grab your journal and journal on this after we're finished,

Or maybe you want to talk to somebody about it.

Maybe you want to talk to me about it and that's totally cool too.

So I want you to think about what's something you're already doing that makes you feel more positive,

Right?

What's something that you're already doing that makes you experience positive emotions?

Keep doing that,

Right?

We want to have that thing happening.

How can you incorporate more positivity into your day?

So going back to those 10 emotions,

Right?

Joy,

Gratitude,

Serenity,

Curiosity,

Hope,

Pride,

Fun,

Inspiration,

Awe,

And love.

How can you actually include those things and infuse those into the things you're already doing?

And then the other thing that can be really,

Really helpful here,

And I think this is probably my favorite,

Is what's something that you're not motivated to do or something that just like is a drag,

Those monotonous tasks,

Maybe chores,

Whatever that looks like.

And how can you infuse positive emotions into this to make it more tolerable?

So I'm not saying that you have to take something,

Mine would be doing the dishes is always what comes to my head,

But how could you take something that really just is like,

Bleh,

For you and infuse positive emotions?

So personally,

If we use the example of doing the dishes,

I use gratitude in those moments to remind myself that I'm really grateful that I have warm running water in my house,

That it makes it easier because I already just like doing the dishes,

But it definitely is not as much fun when I'm camping and I have to go and get water from the tap or the river and heat water and all these things.

So I'm thankful to have running water in my home.

And I do things like just get more engaged with my senses and like,

You know,

Smelling the nice smell of the dish soap or feeling the bubbles on my hands and these types of things,

Right?

So those experiences just make something that's kind of a not a fun experience,

Typically a little bit better for me.

So how can you do that with whatever task that is in your life or whatever things come up for you that are just really heavy?

How can you use those positive emotions?

So that's everything I have for you today.

I thank you so much for being here.

I always love connecting with people.

So if you are inclined to share some of your thoughts or feelings,

Feel free to leave comments for me,

Ask questions,

And I'd be happy to hear from you.

Thank you so much and I hope you have a really positive day.

Take care everybody.

Reviews

Your voice really calms me down, and I love the way you explained everything. 🙏