How To Make The Right Choice

It is not easy to make decisions when it is so difficult to distinguish between information and misinformation in this sea of news. There is, however, a part of us to which we can always refer to in order to feel what is the right direction for us to follow.

In this episode I'm going to talk about just that: how to contact that part of us that knows how to show us the way even when there is confusion around us and we don't have all the information we think we need.

Transcript

Every one of us is concerned with making right choices in our lives.

Right choices for ourselves,

For our health,

For our relationships,

For our children,

For our jobs,

For our morality,

For the future.

We believe the right choices will take us and our loved ones to better places and make us happier.

But what are the right choices?

In times of great dilemmas and great uncertainties such as this one,

Even simple choices can become great ones.

Yet in itself,

The idea of making the right choice somewhat implies that there is also a wrong one.

So if they are right or wrong,

They are according to whom?

Who decides which is the right choice and which is the wrong one?

In this sense,

In order to make what we believe to be the right choice,

We often choose to refer to what we consider to be external authorities and delegate to them the job.

So,

If we choose to fully subscribe to the ideals of a specific movement,

Whether it be religious,

Spiritual,

Political,

Or of any other kind,

And therefore to make our own what this entity and their representatives consider right and wrong,

Then the authority is placed outside of ourselves.

This can either be the result of actively choosing to join a movement that reflects our own personal values,

Or the result of passively giving up our individual power.

One way or the other,

The moment we choose to have someone else tell us what is right and what is wrong without applying a healthy dose of critical thinking and really feeling into it,

We are in some way giving up our personal authority.

In this episode,

I won't go into the specifics of the psychological mechanisms that lead us to making such choices.

Rather,

I'd like to talk about how to rely on our inner authority,

How to better hone our ability to determine what is right and what is wrong,

And how this ability is being challenged these days.

At the moment,

Misinformation is rampant and uncertainty rules the day.

So how is it possible to make the right choice?

Well,

As we have already seen in a previous episode,

There is a lot of uncertainty all around us,

And we can choose to subscribe to one or the other factions and just hope to be proven right.

I say hope because with all the doubts that exist around any polarized position,

It's almost impossible to be unwavering when questioning the veracity of whatever either side claims.

So since we can never be sure whether what we're being told is fact and not opinion in some way distorted by some form of personal interest,

We need to find some way to navigate the present times with a reliable compass.

One alternative is to be open to the opinions of others,

But always refer to our inner authority and feel what is right for us and our system of values.

I say feel because it's not as much related to thinking,

Hence a mental process,

But rather feeling what is right.

And this involves the ability to connect with ourselves and choose whether and how to act from a space of greater centeredness and autonomy.

But how does one do it?

Well,

Let's start by dispelling a myth.

People often think that in order to access this inner space of self-connection,

Self-confidence and intuition,

It's essential not to ever feel anxiety,

Doubts or have emotional reactions to what happens around us.

As if we had to have reached a sort of enlightened state.

In reality,

This is not at all the case.

We can coexist with all of these things.

In fact,

We have to if we want to be able to choose how to behave instead of going into automatic pilot according to our habitual patterns.

So it's not about being only in one state,

But it's about being able to discern what state we are in and choosing which one we want to act from.

And we can only do this when we are aware of these parts of us and are able to observe without judgment either the anxiety we feel in relation to the situation that surrounds us or the impulse to have unhealthy emotional reactions to a number of situations which we find ourselves in or that part of us that is connected to our own center which knows what is right for us.

Our freedom to choose does not depend on getting rid of these uncomfortable parts that act as interference.

Rather,

It depends on our ability to tolerate all of these elements,

Allowing them to coexist within ourselves so that we can then choose which ones to give energy to.

One example that comes to mind is meditation,

Which many people say they are unable to practice because they are continuously distracted by thoughts and other sensations.

Over the last 15 years,

Precisely because some aspects of the discipline I work with involve the energetic and spiritual sphere,

I have often been contacted by people asking me to teach them how to meditate better.

Inevitably,

After a few sessions,

The work systematically turned out to be learning how to live better with their thoughts,

Their emotions,

And their physical sensations rather than learning a better meditative technique.

So if meditation,

Rather than being an ever peaceful space devoid of any distraction,

Becomes a place of observation of what happens within us on a mental,

Emotional,

And physical level,

Then we have a new possibility where meditation becomes a space in which to welcome all that happens within us.

It is precisely from this process that comes that condition of greater centeredness and tranquility.

Our ability to be impartial observers without judgment regarding what we feel is essential for this process to take place in our daily lives.

It's not a condition of absolute peace from which we move with a kind of Zen focus.

On the contrary,

It's still a mix of things.

It's messy.

There's often latent anxiety.

There's that reactive part that is restless and might want to tear someone's head off.

There's a calmer part that's connected to our core.

It's all there.

However,

Like in a family,

Each has its role and precisely because we have chosen not to ignore one part or the other,

We can see them all and therefore choose how to interact with each one of them.

Some of these parts are insecure.

They're scared.

So we have to take care of them by reassuring them.

The parts are restless and agitated.

So we may give them the opportunity to let up steam in some way so they can access a space of greater calm.

Others are more centered and aware.

And these are the ones we may choose to act from in order to do what feels right for us.

The ability to distinguish between when we're feeling anxiety,

When we're reacting,

And when we have an open heart and are centered in our truth is an essential tool,

Perhaps not overnight,

But one that we all can develop in time.

What doesn't make it easy or immediate is the fact that we're not used to it,

Either because we often don't like some of these sensations and don't want to feel them,

Or because they change so quickly that we can't keep up with them,

Or even because they're so intense that we have trouble tolerating them.

In short,

It takes some time and dedicated work,

But being able to do it can be of enormous value in our lives.

From an energetic perspective,

Emotions,

As well as thoughts and physical manifestations,

Are all energies that manifest within our aura,

Or energy field.

That's why in jargon we talk about enlarging one's energetic vessel,

To allow it to contain everything that manifests within ourselves,

Creating a space where everything is welcome.

This work implies precisely this,

Increasing little by little our energetic container to be able to feel emotions,

Whether positive or negative,

Observe thoughts and physical sensations,

Whether pleasant or unpleasant.

The choice of not running away from what we do not want to feel at this point becomes an enormous resource in order to be able to act according to what we feel is right.

At this point,

No longer having to disconnect from ourselves in order to avoid uncomfortable sensations,

We are free to navigate the various inner experiences and choose to enter that space where we can connect with our heart and intuition.

Here,

In order to make the right choices,

It's not essential to have all the information,

Because we're not in a mental sphere that needs all the elements to analyze and on the basis of which to draw conclusions.

We're in a space of intuition,

From which we do not make up our mind in which direction to go,

But we know which is the right direction for us.

In my experience,

The essential element for accessing this space is being able to open our hearts.

From there,

We're able to connect to our intuition and wisdom.

These allow us to feel what our direction is and to make those choices that we feel are in line with our deeper value systems.

In this space,

We always have the freedom and openness to listen to the words of others.

We can tolerate both what we feel is right for us and what does not resonate with our truth.

We can observe how a part of us reacts to what it doesn't like,

But exactly because we're conscious of its presence,

Then we're not at its mercy,

Nor are we running from it.

In this space,

We have the power to choose which part we want to act from.

Just as words that don't resonate with our truth may not feel right,

The same way words that resonate with our truth we feel directly in our hearts and simply make us say,

Yes,

As if we realize we've known it all along.

Our body and energy system vibrates in a more harmonious,

Powerful way when we're in the presence of truth.

That's why truth cannot be taught,

But only remembered.

It's there for every one of us and it's just waiting to be awakened.

And truth is simple,

Yet universal.

It's that common denominator shared by every single human being.

It doesn't come from our minds,

But from our soul,

And we all have access to it.

We don't need to be meditation masters in order to connect to that truth,

As the space in which to find it is accessible to anyone.

We all have moments of quiet if we seek them.

They can be found while taking a walk,

Driving,

Lying down,

Or during meditation.

We all have our own way to access this space.

When we do,

We then have the possibility to access our deeper truth and then have the freedom to choose what to do with that.

If so,

We wish.

I realize that this episode,

Which began by talking about personal growth,

Has taken a slightly spiritual turn,

As often happens during my sessions with clients.

I don't think this is by chance,

Both because we talked about who we are and who we choose to be,

But also because I believe that this historical juncture holds great spiritual value,

Precisely because it's in moments like these that we have the opportunity to choose very clearly who we want to be as individuals and as a collective.

Whether we want to be in our hearts and face this delicate and precious opportunity with unity and togetherness,

Or divide and isolate ourselves from each other on a human as well as a physical level.

As with all things,

There is no right or wrong,

But we will certainly have a chance to observe the consequences of our choices.

Take care and talk to you soon.