We are going to practice something that is incredibly powerful,
Just the practice of forgiving.
To practice letting go of that anger,
Letting go of the grievance,
The sense that you were victimized and wronged.
Not because you're giving up,
You're not saying that what the other person did was okay.
You're not saying that they were right.
All you're saying is that that person in that event no longer get to dictate your emotional life.
This is a very empowering and self-empowering technique.
So I want you to find a comfortable meditation posture,
What you use for your breath or awareness meditation is perfectly fine.
And just take a deep conscious breath,
Settling into the body,
Finding your anchor.
And in our practice we're going to work with three aspects of forgiveness.
First I want you to call to mind somebody you resent,
Somebody who did something that upset you,
Harmed you,
That wronged you in some way.
And you're still carrying this energy around,
They're still carrying the sense that you are in pain and that you're wounded by this person with you.
You may notice that because whenever you think about this person,
That resentment is there.
Where you find yourself worrying that other people are going to do the same thing to you.
And so I just want you to call that person to mind,
Call the event to mind and let your body and your mind experience feelings and sensations and emotions associated with whatever caused the resentment.
You may notice some sadness,
Some anger,
Some shame,
Desire for payback or revenge.
Whatever those emotions are that are coming up they're all okay.
There's no need to suppress them,
Judge them,
Flee from them.
There's no need to run away from what you're feeling.
This is part of the healing of forgiveness,
The willingness to meet those emotions.
Now I want you to imagine the person that wronged you just sitting in front of you now,
Whatever setting feels right to you.
And imagine yourself saying to them,
I forgive you and I release you.
I forgive you and I release you.
You can just continue to say that like a mantra over and over.
If you want to add in details,
It's because it can help to make it really specific for you.
I forgive and release you for whatever they did.
If they give you for whatever they did and I release you for,
You can modify it,
Whatever feels right.
If you feel drawn to a form of prayer,
You're welcome to use that too.
You can use whatever word captures for you a sense of a higher authority.
It's God,
Source,
Spirit,
Divine light,
Divine mother,
Jesus,
The universe.
Whatever word resonates for you,
You can say,
Please help me to forgive and release in the name of the person.
You can repeat that over and over.
Now imagine them,
Five,
Six,
Seven years old,
Very young child.
Imagine that this is the person who wronged you.
This is the wounded part of themselves.
The wounded child.
They behaved in some way out of anger,
Sadness,
Hurt.
Whatever they did was very unskillful and did hurt you.
But imagine that this is the person that you're forgiving now.
Repeat the forgiveness mantra.
I forgive you,
I release you,
Or your forgiveness prayer,
If that's what you used.
Notice how it feels now to forgive this person.
Now call to mind somebody that you've harmed,
Where you spoke out of anger,
Or you did something that you later regretted,
You feel a lot of guilt for how you behaved,
And you know that you hurt them.
Maybe you've apologized,
Maybe you haven't.
You know that you still feel guilt or shame or just simply bad about what happened.
Call them to mind,
Imagine them sitting in front of you,
And say,
I'm sorry,
Please forgive me,
Please release me.
I'm sorry,
Please forgive me.
Please release me.
And again,
You can use a version of a prayer.
God,
Divine Light,
The Universe,
Divine Mother,
Please help so and so to forgive me and release me.
You'll just notice what feelings are coming up for you if you struggle to imagining this person forgiving you,
If you're feeling intense feelings of guilt,
Self-judgment,
That you don't deserve to be forgiven.
Whatever's coming up,
Just notice it.
As we did in the previous practice,
Using the technique of the inner child,
Imagining yourself as the child who acted out and was wounded,
And what it would feel like for that part of you to be forgiven.
And when you're ready,
Let go of any image of anybody that's in your mind right now.
And just imagine yourself sitting across from you.
And here's where we're going to practice self-forgiveness.
A call to mind,
Something that you really continue to criticize yourself for,
Reproach yourself for,
Beat yourself up over.
You can't quite let go of it.
Something you profoundly regret or are guilty of or ashamed of.
It may be a particular event,
It may be a pattern,
Something that you do again and again.
No matter what,
You just can't seem to forgive yourself.
Just allow the feeling of that event or pattern to come to mind.
And looking at yourself,
I want you to say,
I love you and I forgive you completely and totally.
I love you and I forgive you completely and totally.
Just saying that over and over again.
And again,
You can use a prayer version.
God,
Please help me to forgive myself.
I love you and I forgive you completely and totally.
Once you've completed forgiving yourself,
Just pause for a moment and notice how you feel.
Just checking in with your heart center,
With your breath,
With your body.
There is no wrong or right way to feel right now.
So we may notice that forgiveness takes time and it takes diligence.
It is not a feeling that washes over you instantaneously.
Some of the wounds that you carry run very deep and you will continue to practice this.
Some of them,
It's like a continual washing of the same wound again and again.
Over time,
You're going to notice the resentment,
Anger,
The desire for vengeance,
Concern that the same thing is going to happen to you again with somebody else.
Or your own guilt and shame and regret about something that you've done to somebody else,
To yourself.
All of that starts to diminish,
Just gets softer,
More subtle,
Doesn't feel quite as potent.
That's how you know you're working on forgiveness.
And when you bring to mind somebody that wronged you or that you've wronged,
You'll notice that the resentment is a little less intense.
You won't feel the same pinch.
You won't feel the same anger,
Remorse,
Or desire to avoid this person or to not think about what happened.
I wish you enormous amounts of emotional healing through forgiveness.
