Emotional Liberation

Transformational Journey Within: The goal of the program is to create a safe container for inner work, accountability, and growth. I support and empower women through the challenges of life, heartbreaks, and betrayal to feel worthy, desired, powerful, and inspired to live an extraordinary life.

Transcript

Good morning my beauties,

I welcome you to our week number 4 dedicated to emotional health.

So,

What is your relationship with your emotions?

This is a one million question I have for you today.

So,

I will share you my relationship with emotions.

My entire life I was so good in hiding them,

In shoving them under the carpet.

Anytime an emotion would come up,

Something I don't fully understand,

It scared me and I will try to quickly bury it under the ground.

The ground sadly is my own body.

And basically what happens when we are not allowing ourself to feel all rate of emotions,

Basically our body starts storing those emotions and this hidden type of places start manifesting as physical pain.

Yes,

Absolutely,

Because our body is the library of all the events,

Feelings,

Sensations which we have encountered in our life.

If we were in an empowered state,

Meaning we were calm and peaceful and breathing through those emotions,

Those emotions being safely processed.

But what happens if we haven't?

What happens if we got scared,

We stop breathing,

Imagine there is a tiger jumping into your room right now,

You start running away.

The energy which being flowing through you in a very calm,

Loving manner is suddenly get frozen in your cells together with pumping hormones,

Which in this case might be adrenaline.

So let's imagine you safely hide from that tiger.

So what happened then?

Well you think you are back to safety and you think this whole situation is complete.

Well it's not fully complete because that energy which being flowing is now frozen in your cells.

If you were like a tiger or even a dog you would shake it off and you would literally shake off those residues,

Of those unprocessed frozen residues of energy and emotions.

But since we don't have a decent education which makes us understand more the power of our emotions and the subtle messages it holds,

Basically we have no tools,

No understanding how to develop relationship with our emotions.

So we go through life,

Keep collecting those residues,

Those unprocessed residues in our body and our mind,

Trying to be our greatest protector,

Is protecting,

Which means hiding literally in our tissues those unprocessed feelings,

Memories,

Sensations and then those hidden spaces manifest through physical pain.

And then 70% of us go to doctor with some kind of symptoms of pain and 70% of us go home with zero diagnosis.

Why?

Because it very often has nothing to do with actual physical pain,

Very often it's a representation of emotional pain which has not been processed all this time.

So it's so important to become intimate with our emotions and start allowing ourself to accept them all,

Understanding that all the different emotions are part of the same colour palette.

It's like imagine you are a painter and you have selection of all these beautiful colours in your hands,

There is a blue,

There is yellow,

There is pink,

There is black,

You are not going to judge black against pink,

It's just colours,

They are all different and they are suitable for different expressions.

The same with our emotions,

There is anger,

There is jealousy sometimes,

There is fear,

There is joy,

There is gratitude,

There is sadness,

There is grief,

And all of them are valid.

Sadly our society tells us,

Condition us since we are very little that we as the woman in particular are not allowed to feel rage,

We are not allowed to lose our shit in the middle of supermarket and cry and scream uncontrollably,

That is not acceptable.

But guess what my dear beautiful loves,

Everything is acceptable and this is the moment I give myself and you full permission to express whatever is alive for you.

Maybe it doesn't need to be in the middle of supermarket but you can come home and express this rage,

Allow yourself to feel it understanding that this is where liberation lies and this is how you heal yourself and your future generation from these blockages on the emotional level,

On energetic level and eventually on the physical level.

So it's very very important to start accepting all your emotions and whenever an emotion comes which you don't want to feel,

Think about your emotions like it's your children.

You cannot pick and choose and say,

Oh yeah I love you much more than you,

That is never happening,

Right?

You love your children equally,

Maybe they have different qualities which you appreciate more but as your maternal love it doesn't really change in terms of the scale.

So it's the same with emotion.

Can you love your anger and your jealousy and your fear as much as your love,

Your joy,

Your bliss,

Your ecstasy?

Because when we start selectively numb,

Remember this selection of colours for the painter,

This natural array of feelings and emotions,

When you start selectively numb,

Oh I don't want to fear anger so I am just going to suppress that,

What is happening that at the same time you suppress the whole selection of your feelings,

You suppress your joy,

You suppress your gratitude,

Your ecstasy and you might tell me,

No that's not really the case because I can easily feel joy and I can easily feel gratitude.

Yes my dear love,

But my question is to which extent?

We as the human being,

We meant to experience our emotion in such depths that we can cry,

Boil our eyes out because of gratitude or joy.

When is the last time you cried out of joy?

Tell me,

When is the last time you cried,

Big fat tears of gratitude were running down of your face,

When is the last time you experienced such an ecstatic feeling without anything really external,

Coffee or some kind of stimulants?

When was that?

When did you cry for no reason out of deep intensity of your feelings which has nothing to do with pain and suffering?

When was the last time,

My dear love?

So that is the echo of numbing throughout our life the emotions we don't want to feel and with that numbing our entire emotional health,

Our emotional palate.

So yeah,

I also want to share something very very important with you because through feeling those feelings and through feeling the sensations,

This is why we always have a meditation available for us every week and in library there are a lot of additional meditations if you would love to get familiar yourself with different great meditation teachers which inspire me.

So when we do our meditations we get to connect with those sensations in our bodies and those sensations very often has a message and those sensations very often directly connected to these emotions which been buried there for many many years.

And that is why transformational brasswork,

This powerful deep breath comes and sweeps away and allow all these residues which been lying at the bottom of our tissues to come up so it can be felt and processed.

Yeah,

So what is it felt sense?

Felt sense is actually a pathway to our intuition.

Yes,

My dear love,

We all want to be connected to our intuition.

So how do we do that?

We know that we cannot connect through our head,

It just doesn't work.

So these subtle sensations in our body,

The feeling of our feelings,

Allowing ourselves to sit with whatever is unfolding in our body on a physical and emotional level is the pathway,

The shortcut to our intuition,

To that inner voice,

Inner knowing,

Inner compass we all want to be deeply connected to.

So you are not only invited to feel your emotions,

To make sure that you don't have blockages in your physical body but also you are welcome and invited to connect depots,

Your emotions in order to be able to connect to your intuition.

I want to share with you something quite incredible from my own relationship with extreme intense emotions,

Right?

Through suppressing it I am not allowing my shadows to come up and I am not allowing myself to integrate myself into wholeness really.

And we will dive deeper into shadow work later.

Today I want to share with you a story which happened to me a few years ago in Ibiza.

I was staying in my friend's apartment which is also on the second floor like mine,

It is actually right next door.

I went to the beach,

I had my yoga practice and I came back and I realized I forgot the key and my friend left.

So I thought no worries,

I am just going to climb.

I did that before.

With my apartment it shouldn't be any different with my friend's apartment so I found a round chair,

I put a ladder much smaller which I normally use because I could not access it,

It was weekend and the gardener was not there.

So I just used a smaller ladder and as I was climbing one of my hands was already on the balcony and another hand was kind of holding towards this outlet for water to come out.

And at one moment the ladder just slipped out of my feet and I was hanging there in the balcony.

And it was one of the first times in my life I actually felt something within me which was watching this whole scene very careful,

Very present rather.

And at the same time that part of me didn't really care if I would slip from that balcony,

If I break my ribs or break my head,

If I die,

That eternal part of me was just absolutely ok with any outcomes.

It was so beautiful to connect to that part.

And guess what,

Eventually my right hand,

The only one which was actually on the balcony,

Slipped and I fell down from the second floor.

On that table first and then on the tiles,

Very hard tiles and I hurt my thighs on my outside.

And someone helped me to bring me up to my apartment eventually and first the panic,

Sheer panic was overtaking me because I was in so much pain.

And I was like oh my god,

All these thoughts were running through my head,

I probably broke my hip,

I probably cannot teach yoga anymore,

Like all those horror stories were running through my head.

And I panicked and I started googling like what do you do when you fall down from the second floor?

And then there was a part of me just saying stop the madness,

You have been studying trauma for one year now almost,

You've been reading all these books,

You have all the answers,

You don't need external people to tell you what to do with your body.

And at that moment I just lay down on the floor and I just started breathing into my pain.

In the beginning it was so uncomfortable,

I was like I can't,

I can't,

I can't,

You know it's like this little girl inside of me was like oh no it's too painful,

I can't,

I need to do something,

I need to go somewhere,

I need to call someone,

That's what we do actually right?

When there is an accident happen we just like straight away run into the arms of anyone but not the arms of ourself,

Not realizing that our body has one of the most incredible healing abilities we will ever encounter in our life.

So what happened then?

I started breathing into my pain and guess what,

My pain was shifting,

It was keep changing,

It was not so deeply painful,

It was changing the location and the type of sensations and I was like wow that's interesting,

Pain is just another sensation because we are not familiar with this sensation and maybe we don't really like it,

We like letting it go.

We label it as something horrific and we try to avoid it at any cost but actually if you really break it down in terms of the physical expression it is just a sensation.

So if you stay present with this sensation,

The sensation actually transform and change.

How interesting is that?

And for the first time in my life I actually did not go to the doctor.

Why?

Because I allowed myself to feel this emotion and those sensations in the body.

I brought the breath and I brought the presence and my body started healing itself.

My mom was telling me,

Oh maybe you need to go to doctor,

Maybe you need to do a scan,

All these things and I would just for the first time in my life I would drop into my body and I would be like,

Ok,

Is that so?

Do I really need to do that?

Is there something I cannot,

You cannot fix yourself?

And the answer was keep coming back,

No,

You are fine,

Just keep putting cannabis cream and just keep massaging it with love and your presence,

Your awareness,

Your acceptance and it's all gonna be ok.

And guess what?

In 10 days I was absolutely fine.

I had no bruises,

I had no scars,

I never went to the doctor,

I did not take one single drug,

One single tablet,

Nothing.

I just healed myself with my own acceptance,

With my own breath and I just gave this possibility to my body to process it.

It's like when you fast,

Your body doesn't need to spend its energy,

Its focus on the tedious thing of processing the food.

So when you don't give this tedious task which is doing it everyday anyway,

And then your body goes like,

Oh wow,

I don't have to do that,

That's so awesome,

I can do something much more fun.

And it's that clearing,

Cleaning itself on a deeper level because it knows what needs to be done,

It just needs to create a space for this to happen.

So yeah,

I hope you enjoy my little story.

And one of the most incredible learnings which came out from this accident is that I realize that due to our lack of understanding our emotions,

Understanding how to process them,

Basically we create post-traumatic stress symptoms.

That is super sad to hear,

I know.

Like post-traumatic symptoms created by us,

Not by actual trauma.

Isn't it sad?

Yes,

Because think about it,

If you have a ski accident,

The first thing you gonna do,

You gonna call a doctor,

You gonna be rushed into the hospital,

You gonna get shit-lots of drugs,

Probably anesthesia injection,

So you become numb,

So you cannot feel that physical and emotional pain,

That sense of fear you might experience,

That sense of shock.

So basically you are not,

You are disconnecting yourself from your own physical and emotional sensations and then basically those sensations remains unprocessed,

Unfelt in your body all this time.

And as I mentioned in the beginning,

Your mind is that like hiding it away because you are busy and you don't mind perceive that you don't have time to deal with it,

So it's just hide and hide and hide within your tissues and literally creating layers around it and then it manifests in pain.

So yeah,

It's our duty to develop healthy relationship with our emotions and that's why in yoga it's such a beautiful tool because we are holding those poses for a while and it's like there is no escape,

We are here and we are here to face what is available,

We can't really hide because if we focus on the breath we will stay present in our bodies and therefore we will have no choice but to welcome,

To confront those emotions which asking for our love,

For our acceptance.

Like our children,

All our emotions wants to be accepted,

Wants to be loved and if we can offer the breath we can process it very very easily and if we don't we keep shoving under this carpet and we keep creating a physical pain for ourself.

No matter what pharmaceutical drugs we will be given,

Prescribed,

This pain will not go away.

So my dear darlings,

If you have any questions feel free to reach out and I wish you a beautiful day,

I send you all my love from Bali.